Last night I went out for drinks with a friend at an Irish Pub. An Irish Pub in the middle of nowhere Japan you say, yes an Irish Pub. Owned and operated by an actual Irish man, with imported Irish drinks and food. It being a Wednesday evening, we are a day ahead of you, the Pub was nearly deserted. We sat together in a dark corner, sipping one cider after another for hours. It was lovely. Have you ever had Irish Cider? It is an apple cider, a dry apple cider with alcohol. It was wonderful, we also had fish and chips with malted vinegar.
There in the Irish Pub my friend and I discussed the meaning of life. We have concluded that (1) watching the news depresses us and (2)many of the women we know and love are depressed and feel guilty for being depressed. Why is that?
Is depression a sin? Does feeling run down and having a lack of zeal for life mean that a person is ungrateful and spoiled? Is it just women who feel this way?
It was lovely to get out. To sit and shoot the breeze with no worries for an entire evening.
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I Think I May Have A Screw Loose
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I saw my podiatrist yesterday. One part of my foot is still hurting (it's
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7 comments:
When I get depressed I feel guilty; I think a lot of people feel that way because we are taught to control our emotions and told to "just snap out of it."
When I feel depressed I try to keep it from others. I don't want them to feel sorry for me or uncomfortable around me.
Anyhoot...I love your header. That is so cool! I am going to have to try one out for mine.
I don't think depression is something anyone should feel guilty about. It's an illness, just like any other illness.
And I think most everyone goes through phases where they feel unfocused and lacking in zeal. The important thing is to keep moving forward even when you don't feel like it.
I don't think of depression as an illness, as something that "happens to you." I think life IS depressing, and it's part of our learning curve to try to find ways to understand ourselves and our world so that it no longer feels so awful.
But I think too that we have some kind of idea that we need to be continually grateful, or cheerful. Especially as women. Sometimes the only way to get to the root of a feeling and to find a way to work with it is to go into it. To allow yourself to have it. I find that when I feel depressed, which used to be almost constantly but now is extremely rare, I just try to sit with it, feel it out. I try to examine what I'm doing in my mind -- what kind of stories I'm telling myself over and over. What kind of particular flavor of self-hatred I'm indulging in, in my inner dialogue.
Then I try to bring myself back to the present moment, over and over. Get up, get some exercise, shake it off. You can help yourself a lot just by noticing when the inner radio is playing the same gray song over and over, and changing the station.
I think we are too isolated. I think we need to live in bigger groups and share the work and reward of raising kids. I think that's why momblogs are so appealing. (typing one handed with almost sleeping infant or i'd go on and on!)
I often feel the same way. I look around at my life and say that everything is fine, my family is healthy, we have enough food to eat, a roof over our heads, etc., so why do I feel so down? I feel guilty about it because I don't really have a reason to be depressed.
That's when I decide that it's strictly chemical. I just need yoga, friends, happy music, and sunshine (and of course 8 hours of sleep a night and time to do all those other things. ha ha ha.) I think it's all remarkably common, with men and women.
Thanks for all the great comments everybody, I have learned a lot from y'all. I am gratefull for such great friends.
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