The Interview

Dixie from Dixie Peach has graciously agreed to interview me...

1. What would be your best advice for a military family moving overseas for the first time to help them adjust?

Get out of the house! During our time living outside of America we met many other Americans living overseas and without fail the people who were happy explored the country they were living in and the people who hated their experience of living overseas stayed on the military base.

The advise people always give is to learn the language. I imagine that learning the language does enhance one's experience of living and traveling to foreign places. But, I am not good with language, and the thought of learning to speak another language in just too much for me. Most American military families don't learn the language. Some people feel that this means that they cannot leave the established American military community and venture out into the country. But, this is not true. In Japan the base we lived on and shopped on, it was picked as the best overseas military installation in the Air Force many times. It really was nice. But, I cannot imagine never leaving that base for four years, yikes. My fondest memories in Japan are all off the base.

Adventures, this is where it is at.

2. What's the primary thing you'd like for your daughters to know as they grow up?

My girls are smart, intelligent and confident. What I am trying to impart though is how to be a friend. I have discovered in my life that people are the most important component to a happy life. I want them to know how to listen, be unselfish, to be a friend. We don't have the luxury of living in the same community all our lives and making friends is the primary thing I'd like my daughters to know. I hope that we learn how to do this together.

3. Did you have any daydreams as a child about what job you'd like to have when you grow up?

I have always been a daydreamer. I cannot think of a job that I wanted when I grew up. This has been a serious problem for me, a lack of direction. In high school, when I originally went to college, and even now I don't really know what I want to be when I grow up. I was working toward being a teacher for a long time. But, I have had the courage to admit to myself that I am not nearly patient enough to be in charge of other people's kids. I am great at making plans, I am the world's best math tutor, but I get frustrated easily and that doesn't mix well with kids. With my girls I can go take a time out. But, I don't think teachers get a time out.

I think most of my daydreams as a child were about being loved, being in love, having someone love me. Now that I really and truly feel love, I have expanded my daydreams to include some sort of focus. Now I dream of having a job where I play on the computer all day. Might as well get paid for what it is I am going to be doing anyways.

4. Do you think that having the experience of living overseas and having traveled quite a bit and also having a daughter with Celiac disease has made you better as being flexible and able to improvise?

Absolutely. I can still remember my first time flying overseas. We left Washington, D.C. and landed in Frankfurt, Germany. We had a four hour lay over before our flight to Venencia (Venice). In the Frankfurt airport, I almost had a nervous breakdown. I was so worried about everything. There were no problems or snags during this trip, just sitting there waiting for four hours was so hard. And the bathrooms. I had always been a hold it until you get home kind of girl, or in case of emergency use toilet seat covers, hand sanitizer etc. Going to the restroom in a foreign country, and allowing my then 9 year old Mandy to use a restroom in a foreign country almost caused me to lose grip with reality.

We then flew to Venezia (Venice) Italy and then drove to our home in Pordenone. Which was Jeff's little two bedroom apartment. The hot water heater for the radiator didn't always work well, it often had to be sweet talked back to life, and during Jeff's three weeks away from home it had stopped working. When we arrived the apartment was very cold. The floors were all ceramic tile, the walls were concrete. The cold damp air from outside had seeped into the house and it chilled me to the bone. Everything I touched felt damp, and I was so cold I just couldn't get warm. Plus, Jeff's sense of style meant blond couches, blond tables, white walls, and ugly art placed up at his eye level. Not the warmest welcome.

It took me a long time to feel at home there in Italy. We really didn't have to over come any crisis or anything but it was a hard time for me. Then if you look at my move here to Mississippi, just about everything you could imagine has gone wrong. The funny thing is that it really doesn't effect me the way having to go to the bathroom in Germany for the first time did. I guess having diarrhea in Egypt curred me of ever having a problem with a bathroom again in my life. I have seen things you cannot even imagine in the bathroom department and nothing fazes me now.

I guess what I am saying is that I no longer need for my reality to meet with my plans in an exact way. I make my plans, I try to think things through, I try to make sure I have thought of everything, but I except that shit happens. In reality nothing ever seems to go the way I plan for it to go anyways and that is OK. I also try to remember that the discomfort I am feeling during travel is temporary and not forever, like a pap smear, you just grin and bear it. Somehow not making a big deal about it helps the bad stuff to pass by a little more easily. I used to feel that all my pain and suffering had to be acknowledged by others.

And Lily's Celiac disease has really further taught me the same lessons. Life on earth as we know it is not really effected by whether or not Lily gets to eat cake on her birthday or has a bowl of fruit. Her first birthday without the cake made me cry. Her second birthday I did the fruit. Her third birthday I bought a gluten-free, egg free, corn free cake mix and made her a cake. Her fourth birthday is coming up and I don't know what I will do, but it doesn't really matter all that much as long as there are balloons, one of Lily's favorite things - she will be happy.

5. What's your favorite part about living in Mississippi - so far?

That is the easiest question to answer. The people!!! I have been to Roanoke, Virginia a couple of times and I noticed it there. But, otherwise this is my first time being in THE SOUTH. If you live here and have ever been anywhere else you know what I mean. People are just nice. We really enjoy the pace of life here too. Jeff notices it more than I do. People are not really in a hurry, except on the highway 90. At the restaurant, at the check out counter of the grocery store, people will chat with me. Everyone chats and is polite. They take a few minutes just to say hello and exchange a few words. I cannot tell you all the places I have had little chats with people. Anywhere you see another human being chances are you are going to have a five or ten minute chat. It feels very welcoming and makes me feel at home. Even for Mandy on her first day of school, the other teen aged girls took her under their wing and made her feel very welcome. This is a place where even teen aged girls are nice to each other. Oh yeah and everywhere I go people speak English. I can ask someone where is the post office.

This weekend we are going to a craw fish festival, where they are giving away free bags of tobacco. I am very excited.

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