Puzzles

Jeff and Mandy have returned from their trip to see Sumo wrestling. It is lovely to have the family home. Lily and I are on the top of the world. Even though Jeff is at work and Mandy is at school, we had them for dinner and then again for breakfast.

The movers are coming on Monday to take away our things, to be delivered to us in Mississippi,sometime in April "strapped to the backs of sea turtles" -Meno. Most things in the military take a little bit of extra time. I have gotten used to it and it just seems normal.

While the family was away I took Lily to the store to buy her a new puzzle. I have found that a new puzzle with occupy Lily for a good couple of hours. Sometimes when it is just the two of us, a good couple of hours where my mind can wander and be occupied with my very own thoughts is heaven. I found a lovely new puzzle, 50 pieces which is her current level, and put it in my cart. Right next to this lovely new 50 piece puzzle was a whole host of 100 piece puzzles. For some strange reason I thought it might be fun for Lily and I to work on something beyond her level together.

Every child has a toy or an activity that they love, for Lily it is currently puzzles. She does her puzzles first thing every morning. She does them periodically through the day, it is her most cherished love. I thought that giving her the opportunity to push herself to try something that wasn't easy but a bit of a challenge would be a good thing. The problem is that I am one of those people who has trouble working as a team.

When I have to help Jeff with the computer I say, "just get up and let me do it". I have been known to take the pencil out of Mandy's hand and grab her homework and do the problem myself. I know, I am evil and have issues. Mandy didn't let me help with her homework again for about three years. Now I sit on my hands. So me "helping" Lily, the queen of "I can do it myself" that was an interesting situation. It began with a ton of conflict, but ended with the two of us working together.

I feel like I have learned as much from this experience, maybe more, than Lily. It began with me just taking all the pieces and doing the puzzle basically on my own. Lily actually went off and played with something else. The next time we sat down to do the puzzle, I started to separate and put it together and Lily promptly took the pieces I put together, separated them and threw them across the room. We are working on her temper, but in a sense I deserved it, so I wasn't too hard on her. She did say sorry and retrieve the pieces.

With about ten completions under our belts Lily and I have a system for putting the puzzle together. We do it in sections: edges, leopard, yellow flowers, tree. Yeah, the puzzle is a leopard (orange spots) in front of an unfocused bed of yellow flowers (yellow spots) by a tree trunk. The pieces are very hard to distinguish, but it is all good. I imagine that someday she will be able to do it on her own. We don't sit down and do the whole puzzle from beginning to end, we do bits, about 10-20 pieces and then one of us walks away. I suggest to Lily that perhaps this piece might work here, or this piece. And Lily puts them together, sometimes I might put one or two together, but mostly I sit on my hands.

Jeff is the world's worst puzzle putter together-er I am loving the idea of Lily trying to get him to help her with this new puzzle while I am away. Hee-hee-hee. I became a mother thinking of all the wisdom I would impart to my girls, but I seem to be the one growing and learning. I believe that seeing me change and learn to work with Lily has shown her how to get along as well. I notice that the more effort I put into the whole working together thing, the more effort she puts into getting along. We look each other in the eye, and she knows I want to grab the piece of the puzzle out of her hand and just do it, and I know she wants to throw it across the room and we collectively take a breath and get the puzzle done. What glorious torture.