Sweet Sixteen

Mandy turned sweet sixteen last week. Many people have asked me about how she is doing in regards to our move. Mandy has been in six different schools so far in her life and she is about to move to another one, her last. This time she will be moving to a school that is not a military school filled with kids who move all the time just like her. This time she has been in the same school for four years, here they have junior high and high school together in the same building.

The moving is hard on all of us. The process, the leaving, the uncertainty, we are all a bit out of sorts and scared. We have moved many times. We have traveled all over the world and I think being in the middle of China or Kenya is gives me the same type of feeling of freaking out that moving gives me. So, I would have to say that Mandy is struggling but she will be OK. Many people tell me they would never do this to their child and I understand. It breaks my heart to see her struggle. It also breaks my heart when they are sick or have to get shots.

Perhaps I have just justified it all in my head, but I believe that this life we have given to Mandy is helping to prepare her for adulthood. I believe that learning to get through difficult times is a great skill to have and that will help her in life much more than having the safety and security of a constant house and school and friends. I believe high school is hard for everyone. This move will give Mandy the opportunity to start over. To make new friends, hopefully. We have talked a lot about how to make friends, about how to put yourself out there, about how to handle the rejection. We have talked a lot about the fact that she is an excellent student and if it is just an awful situation we can home school her through the rest of what she needs and she can begin taking some community college classes.

I believe that we have a strong family and we depend on each other through these difficult times. We all deal with the stress in different ways and we are all having a hard time right now. The leaving is the hardest part. When you get to a new place it is all sunshine and roses, but the saying goodbye to everything you know and love, that sucks. So Mandy is having a hard time, and I think that it is OK. I think that the moves and the travel has prepared her for life better than if we always lived in the same place. I believe she has learned how to deal with difficult situations and she will never be the type of person who stays in an abusive marriage or continues in a horrid job just because she is afraid of change. I believe we have taught her that she has the ability to shape the world in which she lives, she chooses if she is happy or sad, she chooses her circumstances and she is not a victim of the world, poor me. To me this is one of the most important gifts I can give to her. I don't think that high school is all sunshine and roses for her right now as it wasn't for me, so I don't think that moving is taking her away from some idyllic happiness and forcing her into a world of gloom and despair. The process of moving is very difficult but I believe in the end it will be worth it.

My 20th high school reunion is this summer and now Mandy will have a school where she can graduate from and attend reunions. Not that I have gone to a single reunion but still the option is there she will be reintegrated into America after living overseas for almost 7 years.