What is more important truth or kindness? Jeff is reading a book about a man who hiked from the tip of Florida to the top of Maine. Jeff and I dream of through hiking the Appalachian trail when Lily graduates from high school. This through hiking thing is when you carry all you need and hike all day and live out of your pack. I imagine that through hikers look a little scruffy.
In the book Jeff is reading while hiking on surface streets the man is offered money by a couple of different people. These people are assuming he is homeless I imagine. The man politely accepts the money with many thanks. This gentleman is not by any means needing any financial assistance.
Jeff feels that accepting the money is less than honest. He feels that the hiker should gently explain that he is a hiker and not homeless. Otherwise he is accepting money under false pretenses and in essence lying.
I can't help but feel bad for those people giving out money to a person they think is in need. Imagine you were trying to be kind and wouldn't it be embarrassing to find out you were making assumptions? I wonder if these kind hearted folks would ever reach out again after being rebuked, however kindly it is done? I think of them going away from the encounter feeling great after having helped someone or going away from the encounter embarrassed and dejected. I would hate to hurt the feelings of someone who was trying to be nice, to ruin their day.
I guess this is the difference between me and Jeff, he says I over-think things. I say I lead with my heart. He is compulsively honest. I am compulsively kind. What about you, who do you agree with here?
I Think I May Have A Screw Loose
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I saw my podiatrist yesterday. One part of my foot is still hurting (it's
been almost two months since the surgery). He thinks it may be one of the
screws ...
10 comments:
I think that the people that are giving the money are meeting their own need for contribution and care, and that feels good to them. Maybe the guy taking the money, although he doesn't need it, is accepting others care and recognition. Not deception, I'm guessing.
Hmmm. Interesting. I wouldn't accept the offerings. I'd be to uncomfortable.
I would accept the money, giving the donors a reason to feel good about helping someone, and then i would give the money to a truly homeless person.
I think I agree with Jeff. The guy is not asking for money and the people are already making an assumption, which they shouldn't be doing in the first place. Only give money to beggars! ;-)
I wouldn't feel right taking someone's money when I didn't need it so I guess I agree with Jeff although I understand your reasoning.
Perhaps there wasn't time to stop and explain about through camping when the donation was thrust at him. In any case, I agree with meno.
I think there's a way to say "no, thanks, I'm fine" and still leave the givers feeling good. I agree with Jeff that it is wrong to accept money when someone is falsely assuming you need it.
Nice post and thought-provoking. We so rarely think about these ethical questions that it is refreshing to see you write about it. We do a lot of assuming, don't we?
I line up with how Katya thinks. I'd graciously thank the people but say that I wasn't in need of money and that I do appreciate their generosity and kindness. A way of being honest with the people while at the same time honoring their thoughtfulness.
Although I'm compulsively honest I tend to over-think things too. I had to ponder this and read through all the comments before I could figure out what to say.
Initially I agreed with your husband. Now, I would ask: what does he do with the money? If he keeps it for himself, this would upset me. He doesn't need the money so he's cheating himself (since his goal was to live off of what he carried with him) and is cheating someone who could have really used the money (assuming the donator doesn't have unlimited funds).
I absolutely can see your point, though. So, I wondered - if he accepted the money and then donated it to a charity, would that make both sides happy?
What? Is your new computer not working?
OK Marsha...
where did you go?
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