kick 'em to the curb

Last night I was very tired and wanted to go to bed as early as possible. Jeff felt the same. Lily chose to be extremely difficult to get into bed and I was even more exhausted by the time I finally got her down. I was just walking around the house doing those last minute before bed things...

Mandy came out of her room crying, her friend had just been kicked out of her house by her mother and needed us to rush over and pick her up and bring her to our home. After a discussion with Jeff and Mandy we decided that we could only pick her up to spend the night at our house if I spoke to her mom and her mom said it was ok. I have only ever met this girl once and have never met her mom. Mandy says that, according to the friend, the mom is terribly mean, calling the friend all kinds of names and that they have been not getting along for a very long time.

Back and forth went the phone calls, just when Mandy was about to hand me the telephone so I could speak to the mom, the friend tells Mandy that the mom has decided that she is calling social services to get rid of her daughter. Can you do that? What is the number? Kidding. Seriously can one call social services and have someone come pick up your kid after 9PM?

The whole thing sounded a bit fishy to me. But, really I don't know these people. I guess it is possible that a mother would kick her 16 year old daughter out of the house when it is 30 degrees outside at 9PM, with no car, and no where to go. And the child could possibly be completely innocent, right? This child was a bit on the mouthy side the one time I met her, but Mandy says she has had a hard life.

I had a hard life, or so I felt at 16. I can tell you that the truth was not a place I lived with a whole lot of regularity. The friend did seem to be conversing with the mom while she was on the phone with Mandy. Not really sure the definition of being kicked out. Was friend ever actually outside of her home or was it a metaphoric type of being kicked out. Was she kicked out as soon as she got herself a ride out of there? I just had no idea what was going on and I have trouble deciphering teen speak at times. It always seems to involve a lot of trust me and don't you trust me kind of examples. Mandy was so upset after her friend hung up the phone. I stayed up for hours with her, just in case. Mandy actually hugged me without it being my birthday. Never heard back. Don't know what happened. Terribly tired today.

When I was trying to explain to Mandy that perhaps her friend being quite distraught unintentionally exaggerated the situation a bit. I reminded Mandy of some of our disagreements. I asked her if she had ever been so mad she just wanted to storm out of the house? She said, yes, but not in a couple of years. That made me smile. Reflectively it is terribly nice that our relationship is now on an even keel. We have had our ups and downs, she still doesn't do her chores without being reminded, she still sleeps all day and stays up all night unless I drag her kicking and screaming out of bed, she still talks back and acts like we are killing her if we force her to eat dinner with us at the table... But, we are able to articulate our disdain for one another without getting "that mad". At least for now. Can everyone please knock on some wood.

Mandy says her friend got kicked out for not doing chores and talking back. Guess who "forgot" to wash dishes and take out trash last night? We had just had a family meeting about not doing chores and the consequences the day before. Perhaps my style of trying to get a teen to take out the trash and wash a dish once in awhile is not they style that actually works. Maybe a night in the cold... Would you have rushed over to pick up a one of your kid's friends? Is that even legal? I am feeling terribly guilty.