I recently discovered the Perez Hilton blog, I was having so much guilty pleasure reading. It is like the National Enquirer on steroids. Until one day last week when Perez put up a picture of Lindsay Lohan's 13-year-old little sister in a bikini and called her a whore, or ho or something I forget. Now I had to delete the feed from my reader and I no longer read. So sad, it was fun laughing with Perez as he poked fun at celebrities.
I wore a tiny tiny itsy bitsy bikini when I was 13, so did Mandy. I am thinking this was the only time in my life that I actually looked good in a bikini. Just at the onset of puberty. I could slip into the bikini without having to spend 2 hours shaving. I had just begun to gain some curves, not too many curves like now, but that just right amount of curves that only exist when one is 13, or on a starvation diet. It is funny how I have tried for the rest of my life to recapture that look I had at 13.
I felt really beautiful in my tiny bikini. Never again did I ever have so much male attention. Everyone talked to me, sought out my attention, listened to what I had to say. It was so much fun. I would go to the community pool in my bikini. I would wear it camping at the lake. I would wear it in the front yard to get a tan or run through the sprinklers. I wore it to neighbors houses. I never again felt so beautiful. And by the thirteen year old standard of beauty I never again was so beautiful.
Things happened. I was groped. Boys made fun of the size of my breasts. I gained a few more curves. Soon the bikini was put away. When I read the comment that Perez made about a 13 year old girl being a whore for wearing a bikini it brought back memories of what it is like to be 13 and to be beautiful and to want to wear a bikini. What the reaction of men is to that bikini. I can still remember having grown men, make disparaging comments about the size of my breasts or the size of my butt or thighs. My first experience of being objectified.
When I was 13 my purpose in wearing a bikini was not to sexually stimulate the males. It was to feel pretty. To this day I don't wear makeup or pick my clothes based on trying to excite boys. Wanting to feel pretty really isn't about sex. Did you wear a bikini at 13? Do you object to 13-year-old's wearing bikinis? Is it in your opinion slutty to dress that way?
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10 comments:
It doesn't make any difference what you wear, you will get comments (from both sexes) either way. More power to all 13 yr olds who look beautiful in their bikini's! Wear 'em with pride.
I think that "the media" (or, anyone who thinks that they are the media) are much too cruel these days.
Celebrities are ripped to pieces, there is no mystery in life for anyone, everyone's every move is suspect. I really try to go out of my way to avoid nasty gossip, though I do profess a habit for Go Fug Yourself. Which, is about the outfits and not about the person, so in my small mind, I guess that's a little better (someone may be chastised for an outfit choice but I don't recall them calling someone a slur over their clothes).
Of course I wore a bikini at 13, and I think it's sad that things like that are said about anyone. Both women and men are guilty of it - you can't go anywhere without hearing catty comments from people about people they don't even know.
okay, first of all, he didn't call her a whore. the title was "do i look like a slut?" and given what she was wearing and the context of her family, come on -- no 13 year old should be wearing a string (STRING!) bikini.
http://perezhilton.com/?p=852
i'm all for kids wearing clothing they are comfortable in, but those clothes should also be age appropriate as well. there's no chance in hell i'd ever let my daughter wear something like that at that age. no way.
I don't care if she was wearing a string bikini - no one has the right to say that about a 13 year old on the internet. It's cruel. And it's our objectification of people - us as a society treating others as though they're merely characters on TV - that even invites something like posting such a photo and asking such a question.
I wish we as a society would stop supporting media that only looks for the worst in others and sitting in judgment of them.
I wore a bikini up until I got pregnant with Twelve...and I looked damn good in it until then. Now...give me a one piece bathing suit that I can cover with a wrap...sigh.
Lorelei, I agree.
Sari, I think avoiding that crap is a good idea.
Capello, OK-Mom of sons you have a right to your opinion. You wouldn't let your non-existent daughter wear a bikini like that. What about my daughter, she wore a bikini like that at that age, and so did I. Does that make us whores, hos or sluts? He does refer to her as both a whore and a ho in the text of the article. I think there is a difference between the way you would raise your kid and telling others how to raise their kids. I also don't think there is anything wrong with a string bikini on a 13 year old girl and wonder what you feel is so inappropriate about this?
Dixie, I also think this behavior exists in the real world, outside of the media, and even existed back when I wore my string bikini. Slinging hate at little girls for wearing a string bikini, I believe in this case that the media is reflective of what society is saying about girls. But, you are right, I won't go to that website anymore, I need to learn to knit.
Lynn, you go girl.
true, i don't have a daughter. and if i did i'm sure i'd be butting heads with her left and right as soon as she was mobile.
i don't care if other kids wear string bikinis but Come On. it was STRINGS. strings someone could have grabbed a hold of and disrobed her in seconds flat.
i'm not saying it was right for perez to say that but he brings up an interesting point with the difference of being a 13-year old girl and a 23-year old woman. where's the line of age appropriate clothing?
there's a difference between a string bikini and a bikini that covers your butt and doesn't leave much space for some pervert to rip your top off easily.
if a perv rips a bikini off a girl wearing a string bikini I think that it is the perv's bad behavior and not the girl. sounds like blammoing girls for boys behaving badly to me. to me girls should be allowed to be sexy without having the consequence of violence against them. in Europe most kids are completely naked at the beach and most women are topless at the beach, no grabbing occurs. If we blame girls for provoking the bad behavior we are blaming the wrong people in my opinion. I teach my daughter that she should wait to get married before having sex, but I also teach her that it is OK to flirt, to be pretty and to wear bikinis.
"girls should be allowed to be sexy"
since when does a 13 year old girl need to be sexy?
I do have a daughter and she always dressed modestly because as her mother it was my responsibility to teach her to have pride in her appearance. I would fear for the safety of a 13 year old girl who needs to be sexy. She needs some healthy attention from her father.
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