I am the most socially awkward person alive. Jeff says I have issues. I am either too chatty and dominate the conversation or too quiet and wallflowery. I have not been able to find a happy medium. The hardest part of moving around so much for me is finding new friends. I bit the bullet this past week and went to a military spouses club function. It was excruciating, the making small talk, the standing alone not knowing what to do with my hands, the trying to remember to ask questions and not to dominate the conversations, trying to remember to take advice and not be a know it all. Does anyone else feel the urge to suppress themselves in order to make friends? I did ok, we will see. I signed up to join all the various monthly activities that are being held by our club. Things like a playgroup, bunko, bowling...I am going to be very busy if I do all this stuff every month. I guess that is the point. I am going to try very hard to go against my love of being a hermit and to put myself out there in an earnest attempt to enjoy this assignment to its fullest. Even if it kills me.
While at the function I won a $25 dinner gift certificate to Logan's Roadhouse. Jeff, Lily and I went there for dinner last night. Mandy was tired from work and opted out. It was by far the best dinner of my life. It was so good. I realized that I have not had a steak dinner at a steak house since my honeymoon almost seven years ago. OMG. I am still full at 10AM this morning, but it was worth it.
As I type the words "this morning" I am reminded of Lily's latest verbiage, "last morning." I have never heard anyone use this expression before but it seems that she uses it in almost every conversation. I have heard, "Last night, I had steak for dinner." I have heard, "The other day, I took my final." I have heard, "yesterday morning we had pancakes for breakfast." But, I have never heard, "Last morning we went swimming at swimming lessons." Not until Lily made it up. So I am asking that you all adopt this verbiage, last morning, then I won't have to correct Lily. Please try to incorporate it into your conversations today....
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I Think I May Have A Screw Loose
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I saw my podiatrist yesterday. One part of my foot is still hurting (it's
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9 comments:
Hey Marsha...Last morning I was reading blogs and this morning I'm doing the same. Maybe the next day morning I will read some more.
I am beginning to worry about you! Is anybody else with me on this? LOL
I was just discussing with my husband 'last morning' about my social history because I had been getting a lecture from my son about how I should not spend so much time on the computer blogging and spend more time with real people instead. My husband and I agree that we both enjoyed having the built in social life that we had in the AF before he retired. But I totally remember the uncomfortable feelings you describe when we were the "newbies".
I totally understand your lack of desire in joining in the group. Sometimes it is just so difficult to make small talk with people who just don't interest you.
Last morning I was waking up in my own bed after a vacation. Boy, did that feel good!
My little sister used to always say, "The day before today." It drove me absolutely crazy.
You are all fabulous, I loved all the last mornings... :)
Angel: :)
Kimberly: ??beginning to worry??
Luckyzmom: :) -some people just don't get blogging. real life is better, sometimes. military does offer many things to spouses, one must put themselves out there and that is sometimes hard.
Lynn: :) Hopefully all this effort will result in me finding people who do actually interest me.
Lorelei: I am pretty sure, Lily's last morning drives her big sister crazy as well. How did the finals go?
I like Lily's phrase! My son uses "after tomorrow" instead of "the day after tomorrow." If it's more than one day, it's after after tomorrow, etc.
I identify with your uncomfortableness in mingling, right down to the word "excruciating." I either let people ask me too many questions (and ask none myself) or I ask them all the questions and tell nothing of myself.
I just feel like a dork.
"Does anyone else feel the urge to suppress themselves in order to make friends?"
I have no idea what you are talking about.
:)
Lily's "last morning" is lovely.
Moving is hard on introverts like me, an only child who grew up out in the country. I never learned the fine art of fitting into larger groups without feeling just like you did. I find I do best in small, more intimate situations, but dang if you didn't do a wonderful job of expressing how others like you feel.
As I've gotten older, I'm more accepting of myself, just as I am, although cocktail parties and events like the newcomer event are still difficult.
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