Are Your Buns Warm and Buttery?

The first time I met Jeff's family was shortly after we were married. Jeff has two sisters and a brother, they are all married with kids and this makes for a big family. A big loud family. When we got into town we immediately hooked up with Jeff's older sister and her husband at a restaurant for lunch. It was one of those steak restaurants with a salad bar and the all you can eat, 'hot and buttery buns' on the table. Jeff was so happy, 'hot and buttery buns' are his thing.

Later, we met up with Jeff's older brother, his older brother's family, and his younger sister, and her family; at another restaurant for dinner. This restaurant was a buffet that came with an unlimited supply of 'hot and buttery buns' brought to your table. Jeff was so happy. We all had a lovely evening.

Let me back up here for a minute. Jeff was stationed in Italy, he had not been home or seen his family in a couple of years. So they were not only meeting me, his new wife, and Mandy his new daughter, but they were getting the chance to see Jeff. It was also Christmas week, so his whole family was in the same town and we were getting together for various meals and activities.

The next day, we went to visit Jeff's Momma for lunch and then the entire family was supposed to get together for dinner. Jeff's older sister picked the restaurant. She didn't ask anyone's opinion, she just called and told us when and where to be. When we showed up, Jeff's sibling rivalry was showing a bit. He kept complaining that this restaurant did not have his 'warm and buttery buns'. He was upset that he came all this way to hook up with the family and for the most part except for meals they were too busy to spend time with us. He was upset that they never call him, he had been overseas for almost 10 years and none of his family called, wrote, emailed, or visited. Before he married me he had not spoken to his family in over a year and they didn't even notice. All that, so he was disgruntled not to have been consulted about the restaurant, and the lack of 'warm and buttery buns'. He was being a bit of a pest.

We all sat down at a very long table in the middle of this lovely restaurant. Jeff loudly exclaiming this and that about the buns. I noticed that on the menu was a side order of rolls and suggested that we try them. Jeff complained we would have to pay for those rolls. He complained that rolls are not buns. He said they probably aren't even buttery rolls. Just then the very young and obviously shy waitress made an appearance at our table. We were a very loud table. Several very loud conversations going on all at once. Jeff looks up from his menu and asks the waitress in a very loud and very accusatory voice,

Are your buns warm and buttery?

Dead silence. Everyone at our table was instantly quiet. Eyes wide. The poor waitress did not know what to say and started to turn bright red. Jeff took a second or two to "get" what he had said. He then proceeded to turn bright red. He apologized, tried to explain. He ordered a drink. The rest of us started to laugh and laugh. It was hilarious. We still ask Jeff if his buns are warm and buttery, whenever we get together with his family.