Written by Joshilyn Jackson - Between, Georgia is the story of Nonny who was born in the small town of Between. Nonny's biological mother conceled her pregnacy and gave birth to her at the home of her mother's least favorite family the Fretts. The Fretts adopt Nonny and when her biological grandmother finds out the animonsity between the families only increases.
The Frett family has money, the keep a clean house, and are respected members of the community. The Crabtree family, Nonny's biological family are poor, dirty and live life on the fringes of society. Hey. this could be my story. I enjoyed the rich descriptions used in the story. The neighborhood which was walking distance from the house where Nonny grew up, the houses surrounding her biological family home, had burned out houses, abandoned houses, the inside of the home was also described in vivid details. The squalor of poverty and knowing this is where you come from. Having those people want you to acknowledge your connection to them, while this squalor feels foreign to you. Meanwhile, the adopted family feels foreign in many ways too.
I loved the way that the story was told, it brought to life a lot of the things I felt being an adopted child. Feelings of not really belonging with the adopted family or with the biological family. Questioning, who am I - a product of my genes or a product of my upbringing? Never really knowing. There is also a lot of action toward the end, I was bawling my eyes out, but not in a bad way. You have to read it to understand. So go and read it. now for the question . . .
1. According to one theory, our identity is shaped by our genes, immutable and unchanging. Others argue that our character is informed by our experiences, upbringing, and surroundings. Discuss the idea of "nature versus nurture: as it applies to Nonny and her two families in Between, Georgia. Which do you think played a bigger role in the formation of your own character and identity?
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I recently spent a week with my adopted parents after not having seen them in quite some time. I was very much surprised by how much of my personality comes directly from them, most of my values, and even a lot of the things I say are a direct result of my upbringing.
I also know that a lot of me is very different from them. I think it is a combination. Does that sound like a cop out and not a real answer?
An example: Mandy is very smart. She has a hard time with school sometimes because of this, I know that makes no sense. In math for instance, I used to always have to explain her math problems to her because she would come home and not have a clue what the teacher had said.
I I have experience tutoring in math and thought that this would be a piece of cake. As I would explain the problems to her one step at a time she would be confused, I would slow down, she would be confused, we would scream at each other. Turns out that I was breaking down the problems too much for her to be able to get. She can see a complex equation and get the answer, I would be breaking it down into 10 steps and she would be seeing the answer of the whole thing. The steps would confuse her. Like if I asked you to tell me the story of your summer vacation, out loud, but instead of saying the words I asked you to spell each word out loud to me one at a time for a whole story. You would lose track of your train of thought in the process of spelling out all the words. I had to learn how to teach Mandy math in a way she could understand.
I was able to do this, because it turns out our brains work in much the same way and a lot of her problems I have had to overcome myself. I got it easily, and was able to help her easily.
interesting... defintely family genes play a big part of personalityl..
Well, I am not adopted, so my opinion is just my own tiny experience. But for me, I feel that my upbringing has a lot to do with my personality. But my husband doesn't have hardly anything in common with how he was raised...he does things really differently. God has a lot to do with it too. And then I had a brother who has always made things harder than they have to be just because that is his personality. Oh, this is just a jumble. I guess I don't know. :-(
Oh, and that book looks sooo interesting!
Before my son was born I would have said nurture plays a big part but since he has come along I have to say nature. My son is the spitting image of my father. Not only does he look like him, but his expressions, his personality, and habits are just like his. Very scary. I am sure nurtur also plays a role. However my son is not around my father very much because of our lifestyle...military. So where did he get all of these characteristics?
I don't think you can have one without the other. I've heard stories about children of convicted killers (who have no idea what bad things their parent did) raised by wonderful and nurturing adoptive families, who are murdered by these kids.
I think the only power nurture has on a child is the expectations set for that child by the care-giver(s). People tend to live up to whatever expectations are set for them, whether good or bad. The only way for someone to get out of a bad situation when nobody has high expectations for you to live up to is to set them for yourself.
I think we are a good mixture of our genes and then whatever expectations have been set for us.
In Nonny's case, without her adoptive environment I doubt she would have accomplished very much in life, if anything at all.
Oh, I forgot to add this... Our DS has a very peculiar way of speaking. He enunciates some words very strangely and differently than normal people. For years we giggled at it and as he gets older it is not going away. If there are two ways to pronounce a word you've never heard before, he'll always say it the "different" way than the rest of America. It finally dawned on us that this habit is the spitting image of his grandfather -- who passed away when DS wasn't very old, and he never saw him very often while he was alive. There's no way he "learned" this habit of pronouncing words strangely, so obviously it's in his genes.
That sounds like a great book Marsha. I personally think my own identity has been shaped by life experiences I've had, upbringing and surroundings. But I think family genes have some part to play as well.
I think you can't have one without the other.
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