Would you blog for me?

I will be on vacation next week anyone want to write a blog post for me while I am away? I can give you an email address, all you would need to do is write an email to that address and it would appear on my blog as a post. The subject of the email would be the title of the post. How cool is that? Anyone interested?

Will You Paint My House

Our home is mostly brick, but the painted bits appear to not have been painted since the house was built. We need to paint our house. First we had to decide if we were going to do it ourselves or if we are planning to hire someone to paint for us. We called every painter in the phone book to get estimates. Only one came out to our house. He is the only one who answered the phone. We left messages for the others and none returned our calls. The one who came out to our house gave us an estimate of $2650 which is about double what we thought. Crap.

We tried to call all the other painters again and after two weeks of no one returning our calls we decided to go with the first guy, the one who actually came out to our house and did an estimate. I called him two weeks ago to give him the good news, dude you got the job. He said, I don't know when I will be able to do your house, let me call you back in a day or two to let you know. That is the last I heard from him.

I think this is a sign we should do it ourselves. The problem is that we have some rot in some of the wood. We have some mold. We have some areas that need to be caulked. We really don't know how to do any of that stuff. Plus the areas that need to be painted are very high up, our ladder doesn't reach. I told Jeff we could rent some scaffolding and rent a power sprayer and paint it all ourselves. We would also have to replace the rotted wood. It is just a couple of pieces.

Jeff's friend Chad who has been living in our garage off and on since November has repeatedly offered to do something for us as a Thank you for our kindness. Jeff doesn't want to ask him to help us. He is picking up the last of his things today. Have any of you guys here painted your own house? Is it normal for people to not return calls? Seems like a sign that they wouldn't be very reliable. Any Advice?

Why did E.T.'s momma leave him all alone?

A few days ago I tried to talk Lily into watching E.T. with me on the TV. Normally she does not like to watch anything unless it is a happy cartoon, like SpongeBob or Clifford. As the movie began I talked her through what was going on trying to get her interested.

The first scene of the movie: E.T.'s mom and dad leave him behind. Followed by Eliot's mom leaving him home alone because he pretended to be sick. That was it for Lily and she decided she would rather go to bed than watch this movie and she promptly asked me to come and kiss her good night.

Ever since then Lily has been asking me daily about those two scenes. Dozens of times per day she asks me,

"why did E.T.'s mom and dad shut the door of the spaceship and leave him behind?"

Or

"why did Eliot's mom leave him home all by himself when he was sick?"

I have tried to explain that movies are pretend. Funny how an alien from outer space she can believe that, but a mom leaving her kid, that is not realistic at all to Lily. The it is a movie and just not real explanation has not worked, she is still asking me about the movie. I guess she will ask until I give her an explanation that makes sense.

This morning she added another question.

"Where did Eliot's mom go when he was all alone and sick?"

I told her that she went to work. To which Lily replied,

"moms don't work."

Garbledy Goo

Monday was my 39th birthday. I had a really great day. My family conspired together to treat me like a princess. They went all out, it was very sweet.

Lily made me a card. She used construction paper, scissors, and glue to make me a collage type card. Not only did she present the card to me first thing when I awoke after a lovely sleep in, she kept presenting it to me all day long. She would say, it is time for me to give you your card. She would go and find the card and present it to me. I would make a huge deal about the card and she was satisfied. She is learning how to get the attention she needs in positive ways. I am learning how to withdraw attention for negative behavior and lavish it for great behavior. She will make me go see her room 20 times when she has cleaned it. Each time I make a huge deal and we are both happy. I am thinking back to this time last year and all the behavior problems. While she is still not a peaceful child she is much better.

This morning Jeff is taking the final comprehensive examination in order to get his Masters Degree in Military History of World War II. He has been studying non-stop for weeks. Say a little prayer or send a good wish if you get the chance.

Yesterday at the gas pump, I was a quite upset that it cost me more than $35 to fill my tank. That is until a shinny new yellow hummer pulled in behind me. I almost laughed out loud at the poor guy. He did not look happy.

Someone Smack That Bully

Yesterday at work, a customer was very rude to Mandy. Mandy is seventeen and works as a cashier at a local grocery store. She was working away and between customers she turned to ask her manager a question. Her manager was in the middle of something so Mandy paused for the merest of moments to try and get her manager's attention and the next customer in line became irate.

He started to scream at her. He leaned over the counter and got into her face to tell her how rude she is. As she checked him out he became louder and meaner, telling her what an awful rude person she is. He paid and told her he was going to find her manager and tell everyone how rude she is. He walked screamed to everyone in the store how rude Mandy is. And then he left. The entire time the floor manager never came over to help Mandy or the customer. I hate this grocery store.

Mandy was in shock at first but after two more customers she started to cry and had to ask her manager to allow her to go to the bathroom and compose herself. I guess the manager finally showed up two customers later. Mandy has been contemplating quitting for some time. I wonder if this will seal the deal.

Whenever these things happen I tell her about the difference between jobs you get with a college education and jobs you get without one. I feel that when you are working class you are easily replaced and the employer doesn't go to extra lengths to allow you to enjoy your job. When you have a specialized skill you are needed and therefore the employer goes out of their way to make sure your treated well. Luckily Mandy also had the opportunity to work in a hospital admin position one summer and was able to see how she was treated in that position as opposed to being a cashier at at a grocery store.

I often get frustrated with cashiers who are slow or don't say hello etc. I am sure glad I have kept that frustration to myself. Cashiers are people too. They work long hours and if they are robotically fast for you, hopefully next time you will think of Mandy and offer a smile and some kind words instead of being a big fat bully toward a young girl.

Last Day of 11th Grade

Yesterday was Mandy's last day of the 11th grade. She only had one final exam left and was done with school a little before 10AM. Lily and I picked her up and swooped her off to a fun filled day. The three girls in the family off on an adventure.

We started at the bookstore. For some reason there are no bookstores in my immediate area, I have to drive about 45 minutes to find one. But, in the area of the bookstore is a lot of other cool things. We ended up seeing one of Lily's friends at the bookstore. We three had such a fun time, they have a little kids area with a train, yeah.

After the bookstore we went across the street to a Chick Fillet. I have never eaten there before, they also had a kids play area. Mandy and I brought our books and after eating we read while Lily played. Lily wouldn't eat the chicken. I was wise enough to get her fruit instead of waffle fries? and so she ate some of that. Mandy having a mouth full of braces enjoyed the chicken nuggets and small cut up pieces of fruit very much. I looked up to see Lily hitting another child. I haven't ever seen her hit another child before even when they deserved it, but she hits me a lot. I rushed in to the play area. At this place the play area was separated from the rest of the restaurant, meaning we parents were on the other side of a glass wall from our kids and weren't able to hear or be heard. The mom of the hit child got there before me, I guess her kid had hit my kid first and she was making him get out of there for a timeout. I got Lily out and put on her shoes and we went to apologize, both kids said sorry. We then left.

I really wanted to stop by some stores and get some new shorts for the girls. We only have a bit over a week until we are in Disney World and we need new shorts for that. We decided to try the outlet mall that is near where we were. But, by then my Lily was tired and cranky. Mandy hates shopping. And outlet prices suck, I thought this would be discount, um no. Back to Walmart and Old Navy for us. I ended up finding a couple of things for Mandy but that was it. By the time we left Lily was being horrid and I had to carry a screaming hitting child to the car. She is getting so big that it threw out my back something fierce.

Well that was our morning. The first day together of the last summer of Mandy's childhood. I will most likely say the same thing next year even though she turns 18 in February. Now if I can only teach her to drive so I don't have to drive her to work every stinking day.

Mandy and Jeff both have Monday off from work, which is nice as that is my birthday. I was thinking we could do something fun as a family, but Mandy says she is going to a friend's pool party. Perhaps in a way she already has one foot out the door. Have a good weekend friends.

Indiana Jones

We went and saw the latest Indiana Jones movie last night, it was fantastic. Jeff and I had a date night. It is so nice to sometimes spend time with him just the two of us.

The movie theater is near his work. I drove to his work with a change of clothes. We drove to the theater together in his car. When he took me back to my car and we drove home it was difficult not to have a bit of a drag race. But, I fell back and let him lead. Still it would have been fun to smoke him.

I liked the movie very much. A great date movie. I can't help but wonder if the younger generation will like it also? It was very much geared toward me and my generation. I guess we will see. Be sure to see it in the theater, you won't be sorry.

I taught Lily to read

Lily learned her letters back when she was two. She has always been interested in letters and numbers and figuring things out. Playing with flashcards and reading books are two of her favorite things.

After she learned all her letters, she could recognize upper and lower case we moved on to learning a word or two that started with each letter. We used flash cards that have a picture on one side and a letter on the other side. We read books about the alphabet that show words that start with different letters. When Mandy was growing up Dr. Seuss's ABCs was one of her favorite books, Lily not so much. She prefers those search books where you have to look for all the things that start with each letter. One day Lily decided we were going to go through the alphabet and say something that started with each letter. We started with a, a is for apple. Then we moved on to b, a is for apple - b is for banana. All the way through the entire alphabet. This was before she turned four. I was really impressed that she would sit still and do this entire exercise. We missed her nap that day, but she was determined and who am I to stand in the way of her learning her words. After going from a to z she insisted that we do it backward from z to a. So funny.

Later we started to learn to spell a few words, like her name. She started to notice all the words in the world and she would just come and tell me that stop is spelled s-t-o-p and Winn Dixie is spelled W-i-n-n-i-e D-i-x-i-e. OK, I get the picture so I started showing her words in her favorite books, rhyming words, animals, colors, etc. Over the course of the next year Lily learned to spell and recognize more than a hundred words. But, I didn't really consider this being able to read. I mean she could pick out her words from books. Whenever we got a new book she would like to peruse the words and show me the ones she knew, but there were always more that she didn't know than ones she did know.

Several weeks ago our library story time was canceled and we ended up going to an indoor play area. One of our the kids that attends both of our playgroups was also there. The mom and I have never really had a conversation before. We say hi, but she has three kids and I have Lily. We each talk to other moms at the same time but never really talked to one another. We were the only two at this play place. It is a cool place with big comfy couches and magazines for the moms with the ability to see all the little play areas. The kids have climbing toys and rooms full of groceries, or kitchens, or dress up. Her oldest is four like Lily but he and Lily do not normally care for one another. They both have very strong personalities and rub one another the wrong way. So usually they just steer clear of each other, but today it was play with each other or play alone. After awhile of butting heads the two of them started to play nicely.

Meanwhile me and the other mom were discussing our fears of how our children would react to kindergarten in the fall. We were worried about how awful it will feel to have a teacher tell us bad things about our kids. We are both working very hard to get our kids ready, but we are both afraid we are failing. I guess it is nice not to be alone. She also shared her Katrina story with me. She lost everything, both her home and business and got zero dollars and zero cents from insurance. Her house was where the epicenter of Katrina hit. Her husband is a doctor and they were able to just pick up and start over. The rest of her family and friends were not so lucky. So many people got nothing from insurance. It is crap.

Her husband insists that she stay home with the kids and read to them at least three hours per day. He pays for people to clean the house and watch the baby so she can read to them. I get the feeling that she gets frustrated with this. She told me that she checks out 25 books per week and they have read every children's book in all the local libraries. Wow. I told her how Lily prefers to read the same books again and again until she has it memorized and then read it some more. That I think it is helping her to read because she knows the words and then when she looks at the page she can figure out what each word is. I told her how Lily knows so many words but doesn't know how to read.

The other mom had this great tip, she said that there are about 30 words that you see in every book words like: the, this, that, which, why, some... If I teach Lily these words she will be able to read most of her books. Wow, I never thought of this. I have been teaching her fun words like animals and colors. I started teaching Lily those words. At first she had no interest in learning those very boring words. I mean what would your rather learn, giraffe or the? Lily likes giraffe. Weirdo. I made some flash cards out of three by five cards. I wrote down all the words Lily knows. I wrote each word twice, once on two different cards. I bought the cards that come in multi colors, like 10 cards in each color. Then we went through all the cards and read all the words she already knew. She thought that was fun, because she knew all the words. We then separated the words by color and played memory. We played a game of memory with each color. So much fun. She actually has a much better memory than me. So everyday I would add a word to our cards. I called the new word, the word of the day. We would spell it in the car, we would play our home made flash card games with our new word etc. Then I would point out that word in the books that we read.

The words that I picked for our word of the day were all the words out of her favorite book: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss. This meant that each day Lily could read more and more of her favorite book on her own. After she could read about six pages she was so excited I thought her head would flip off. She would point to the words and read the story and she got that the words on the page that she was recognizing were telling the story.

It was very exciting, we went and showed dad. Everyone was excited. I think this means she knows how to read. But, I am not sure because she can only read the words she knows, she does not get sounding out words, she doesn't get rhyming words she only knows how to read the words she knows how to read. It is a start at least. Maybe she will begin to understand sounding out when she is ready, so far she looks at me like I am crazy when I try to explain sounding out. I am a read from recognition and not by phonics type of person too so maybe it is just our genetic makeup.

I know what you are thinking, my life is a freaking thrill a minute. Spending my time making homemade flashcards etc. When I try to get her to color or play with paint she just wants to talk about the letters and words. Right now she is sorting her flash cards in alphabetical order.

My Degree Path

I have decided to continue on my current path. Meaning I am going to continue to pursue my degree in Computer and Information Science at the University of Maryland University College.

I spent Monday applying for a federal grant. It took me all day. Lily was not allowed to watch cartoons due to bad behavior the previous week, so trying to spend a day on the computer was a nightmare. I finally got it all done, only to be told, no money for you. But, if you want to be a teacher we will give you oodles of money.

I thought maybe that was a sign and I really do want to be a teacher. I can imagine myself as a teacher. So I looked into transferring to a local school, majoring in math licensure, which is the correct path to being a teacher in Mississippi. Turns out I would have three years of school, instead of one, left to complete that degree. That is three years going a little more than full time. I basically had only a few classes that I have taken that could be applied toward this degree. If I want to spend three years in school, why not get my BS in computers and information science and a masters in education?

Another option is that after I get my degree in CIS I can use the spouses to teachers program which helps spouses of military members to become teachers. Basically if you have a bachelors degree they will help you to take tests and take a few classes and become a teacher. Instead of getting a five year license I would only be allowed a one year at a time license renewal based on the review of my supervisor. They also say that if you teach math in a low income school they will forgive your student loans. I think you have to teach for four years?

I have also done some research about jobs available in the area. Not any web developers or web designers. But, plenty of jobs for someone with a CIS degree. Now I just have to figure out how to apply for a student loan. I am going to attempt to take 5 classes at a time and knock out this degree as fast as possible. At least I will be busy while Lily is in school.

Thanks for all your advice. There is still a part of me that envisions myself becoming a math teacher someday. Just not sure which of the hoops I am going to jump threw to make it there. Perhaps after I start working I can go for a second bachelors degree in math for licensure because all those classes seem important.

I take that back. I want to teach math to junior high school students, which will be algebra as the highest class. I have to take about 10 classes in really high math. Calculus, and beyond. What is the point of being able to do Einstein math if you are going to be teaching 11 year olds how to do fractions and simple algebra? Seems like the how to teach math classes are important but why do you need to find derivatives if you aren't going to be using it? All the math classes are set up in a way that you have to take one before you can take the next. But the first one in the series is so many levels above what a person would be teaching in junior high or high school. I guess the theory is that you have to know everything there is to know about math before you can be a junior high school math teacher. That seems dumb to me. No wonder we have a shortage of math teachers. And then they will allow you to become a math teacher without any math training by alternative means because of the shortage. Seems it would make more sense to change to requirements to become a math teacher so that more people are able to accomplish it. Do we really need a person who has the same exact math skills as a rocket scientists in order for that person to teach math. I mean if I were to take all those classes I think I might decide to be a rocket scientist instead. No wonder we as a nation are so far behind other countries in math. We need people who understand algebra and are good with kids, have a way with words, etc to teach algebra...not someone who can do calculus and linear algebra and advanced number theory. Not saying I couldn't do all that stuff, I got 100% of all points possible in both semesters of calculus 20 years ago, but it takes three years to take all those math classes and they aren't even necessary, or are they?

/rant

Garage Sale Fun

We have been enjoying all of the lovely spring garage sales. It is a lovely way to spend the weekend. First you get up early and go out and find a lot of cool stuff to buy. Then you spend the rest of the weekend trying to find a way to incorporate these things into your home. I have rearranged all my rooms and cupboards and I feel like I have a whole new house. All for about a $100 over the course of two weekends.

 

We got two new book cases last weekend. One is gorgeous, taller than me, dark wood, crown molding on the top, looks gorgeous in my living room. I had to rearrange all the furniture several times to find a way to make it work. Now it is sitting in a corner with nothing on the shelves. Big and empty, I am thinking it is very zen, a big empty bookcase.

 

Yesterday was the motherload of garage sales. We bought things at six different garage sales. We seriously spent hours driving around following signs and even getting tips from other garage salers. I ended up getting a set of dishes, Taylor, Smith and Taylor dishes - I had never heard of them before either, but the are 50 year old antique dishes. An eight piece set, including dinner plates, dessert plates, bowls, serving plater, serving bowl, TEA POT, creamer, sugar bowl, and tea cups. It is the most beautiful set I have ever seen - paid $10 dollars. I am beside myself.

 
I also got some pots and pans that are the exact same ones I already have, just nice to now have an extra set. Like yesterday, I decided to make a potatoe salad and I was able to boil both the eggs and the potatoes at the same time, because I had two big boiling pots. Those were 50 cents each. I also got some great books, gardening books with tips like using a combination of beer, coke, and dish soap mixed with water on the soil before you plant. This book is so great, I am thinking of making a compost pile. If I start now I can have a veggie garden next summer. I spend a ton of money on veggies at the store. I also got some of the most beautiful Christmas ornaments, and Amanda a new big mirror for her room.

 
Lily made out too, she got a Cinderella Castle doll house, a baby craddle, three stuffed animals, and a cat toy. Oh and I got a new sewing basket and a globe. I am a weirdo and collect globes. My sewing things were all mixed up in kitchen drawers and now they are all tucked together in a cute little basket. I am just so tickled with all these things.

Advice Requested

I am trying to make a difficult decision. Perhaps you would like to weigh in with your infinite wisdom. . .

Having been a stay at home mom for the past few years we have to watch our money, not like when I was a single mom but still. There are so many things I would love to have. Like a pool, minivan, trip to Lake Tahoe. In August Lily is starting school and I am trying to figure out what I will do with my free time.

Option one: I change my major and become a math teacher. There is a local college very close to my house, reasonable rates that offers a degree to become a high school or junior high school math teacher. This has really always been my dream. As a child I always thought I would become a math teacher. I often tutor in math and have had success and enjoyed it very much. There is a real need for math teachers and schools located near my home. However, the pay in Mississippi for teachers is under 30 K per year to start and after 30 years experience the max one can earn is 38 K. I might be able to earn more than that at McDonald's. There are plenty of secretary jobs where I could earn more than that and start immediately without having to pay out to finish college. I worked as a secretary in the sales department of a television station and was promoted to traffic manager before I was married. I was successful and enjoyed those positions, with that experience and references I think I could obtain a decent paying office job right away.

Option two: continue on my path to get a degree in computer information science paid for by a student loan. With this degree the entry level positions don't pay that much but with experience I can make quite a bit of money. Especially in the web design and development field that I love. It does take quite a while to work your way up to having the experience necessary to get a good job but I could eventually have a great paying job. And I really love computer programming. I also sometimes have trouble working well with others and this would be more of a job where I get time to myself without having to deal with people. I am not completely sure that I could handle dealing with junior high school students and other teachers all day everyday. Teachers really don't have the option of hiding in their cubicle when they are having a bad day.

Option three: Start working immediately and earning money in whatever I can find. Maybe someone needs a traffic manager or a secretary. I could earn a decent living and combined with Jeff's check we would be sitting pretty right away. No debt from finishing school. All the money would be extra and above what we need to live so I could have all the things I dream about without having to pay out for a year of college before I even start earning money. I can always finish college when the girls are older or continue to learn computer stuff on my own. I have always wanted a degree but I am not completely sure it will offer me anything other than debt. Seems that there are plenty of jobs available making good money without a degree and the jobs available for people with a degree you don't necessarily earn more money. Not that it is all about money, perhaps it is about happiness, I am already happily married, great kids, lovely home, money would just be a little added frosting.

I am not certain but I don't know that having extra spending money would actually make me happier. We are very comfortable now, just don't have the ability to spend as much as I would like. Long term I am not certain, maybe I would be just as happy being a secretary as being a teacher or a web designer. I did love being a secretary. Lots of gossip time, not a lot of stress, cute clothes...

I also think that going to school would mean that I could be home for the girls to see them off to school and to be here when they get home. I could volunteer at the school and meet the other moms etc. I worry that working full time would take me away from being here for the family because Jeff works so many hours and is out of town a lot it is nice for me to be flexible. Especially with Lily in kindergarten and being away from me for the first time. I might have to be available for when she gets sick etc.

So what do you think, fulfill my childhood dream and become a teacher, become a web designer and take an initial hit to the pocket book but be able to be involved with family while going to school and eventually be able to make a good living, or go for the money right away and start having more access to life's little pleasures right away.

Feels like we are playing the game of Life. Mandy loves that game we used to play it all the time. Jeff is sick of listening to me go back and forth and never make a decision. So I have to expand my audience.

Spring Cleaning Away the Blues

We have been having an annoying week. Little things that ad up to be big things. Things like forgetting to take the garbage can to the curb, or waiting at the rental house for a plumber and Lily getting infested by a thousand fleas, or dropping big messy things all over the kitchen, or catching a cold, washing all mine and Lily's new cute summer clothes with a crayon, etc. It was all getting to be a bit of a pull my hair out frustration.

Yesterday, I decided to redo my bedroom. It took me all day, with all the heavy scooting of furniture and dusting and vacuuming. Nothing like having a head cold and inducing an allergy attach by stirring up all the dust behind the furniture and in all the books. I think all the nose running was probably helpful. I had run out of allergy medicine and didn't have any cold medicine and was not feeling up to leaving the house. So instead of taking medicine and resting I cleaned out all the dust bunnies from my room.

I was pretty exhausted at the end of the day. I really like the new layout of my room. I want to make a padded headboard that is attached to the wall, matching curtains and bedspread. If not an exact match than similar and complimentary design. Now I am on the look out for the perfect material for this project. I really think I finally got the furniture into a position I really like. I tend to move the furniture a lot until I can find a design I really like. I have never had the ability to buy furniture to fit a room, I am always in the position of having to find a way to make a room and furniture work together.

After spending the day in the house yesterday, Lily is itching to get out today. Looks like I am going to have to face the world again. I also have to go to the rental to meet the fumigator, Mandy has invited me to go see her school's play with her, so it looks like I will be spending the day in the world again today. Hopefully the bad luck demon plaguing me has been exercised by all the heavy lifting and sneezing I did yesterday. What is your cure when life is getting you down? I always seem to take on a big project around the house, finding that having a big accomplishment always makes me feel a lot better. Especially if it involves a lot of muscle aching physical labor.

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The discussion about my foster care post continues here. I have finally managed to answer all the comments, even the one from anonymous who called me ungrateful. Not to be missed, sorry it took me so long, it occasionally takes me awhile to collect my thoughts. I understand if you are done with reading about this issue. The sun is out and calling my name, so have a great day y'all.

A New Bed

Lily is nearly five and we finally moved her into a twin bed. I bought her a crib that converts into a toddler bed and then into a double bed when she was born. I converted it into a toddler bed and she has been sleeping in that for a couple of years now. But, the toddler bed is the same size as a crib, just missing one side and lower to the ground for easy access. Lily got too big.

She hates change so much that we put the move off as long as we could. Lately she has been sleeping on the floor more than in her toddler bed so I thought it might be time for the move. We talked about it for a week. We made a date to change the bed. At first she was very upset but settled into the idea over the course of the week.

The day before the big day we bought a new bedding set, Lily told me she wanted rainbow and we found a beautiful set with multicolored pinstripes. Lily loved it. The colors also look nice with her purple walls. Most of the time when I let Lily pick something it doesn't match what we have at all. This time it was a good match.

The move into the new bed went well. Lily loves to help me put things together. She is a professional with the tools. having been a Bob the Builder fan for many years. We took apart the old bed and put together the new bed. All is going well, she has slept in the new bed two nights in a row. Both times she was upside down and backwards, but at least she is in the bed. I did promise her she could sleep in her new bed forever and she never, ever had to change beds again. So I guess the crib/toddler bed/ double bed will have to be held onto for grandchildren or something. I don't think I could bear to part with it. Lily's room is not really big enough to handle a double bed with all of her things and still allow enough room to play.