Last Week of Summer Vacation

I am not worried about how Lily will do at Kindergarten. She is very ready. The past six weeks of swim lessons has showed me that she is able to listen, follow directions, get along with others, speak up for herself, etc. I am also looking forward to having some time to myself. I have tons of plans. I think school is going to be a great thing for both of us.

Except, I have been having nightmares. I dreamt that Lily got off the bus at school and no one was there. She began to cry. She was scared and alone. I wasn’t there for her and didn’t even know she needed me. Now I can’t seem to sleep anymore. I stay up too late. I don’t sleep when I go to bed. Being overly tired is also making me mean and short tempered. I am having a hard time dealing with everything, even though in my head I am certain there is nothing to worry about.

I am supposed to be getting Lily up at 6 A.M. because she gets on the bus at 6:50 A.M. and I want to get her used to getting up at 6 now rather than later. I am so tired at 6 from having stayed up half the night that I have been unable to accomplish this mission. It is so weird too; Lily has gotten up at 6 her entire life. Yet this summer she started sleeping in until 7 or 7:30. Now I have to break that habit. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I will think of that tomorrow.

I thought I would include a video of Lily at swim lessons. Check out her stroke, future Olympian. Ok, so she was swimming in a circle instead of a straight line, she got her little arm out of the water for the stroke. I have tons of swim videos so be nice or I will make you watch them all!

Today Mandy is coming with us to swim lessons and then we are planning to have a picnic and then all of us swim together this afternoon. Maybe we will take Mandy driving. Her permit expires today. I am thinking we are going to need to get a new permit and continue on with the learning portion of driving. It will come, everything happens in its own time. Speaking of Mandy, don’t forget, Friday at Midnight you need to be at your local bookstore for the Breaking Dawn party. Hope to see you there. I will be the one sleeping in the car. Just kidding. TEAM EDWARD! Mandy and I both agree if we were in the story we would pick Jacob over Edward, but for Bella we see that Edward is the only choice. If you have no idea what I am talking about you need to be reading the Stephanie Meyer’s books. And you obviously don’t have a teenaged daughter.

Mama Mia

My night out with the girls started with me arriving at the theater about five minutes before the movie was due to begin. I didn't know any of the other women coming and had no idea what they looked like. As I walked up, in the rain, to the ticket counter I was thinking I should have made a plan of where I would meet up with someone. I bought my ticket and looked around. I didn't see anyone familiar, I didn't see any group of women waiting together. I thought perhaps they would be waiting outside the door to the specific room which was showing Mama Mia.

I went in and no one was standing at the door. I entered the theater and I didn't see anyone that I knew and no one waved to me. I looked around for a bit and didn't really know what to do so I found a seat and sat down. A few minutes later a lady I recognized entered. I think she is the general's wife, but I am not sure. I haven't been very active in the spouses group and I don't go to many functions. I know that she was the highest ranking spouse at a previous function. I cannot remember her name, I am not even sure we were ever introduced. She was standing halfway up the stairs talking to a few ladies, they were all looking for seats and the theater was almost entirely full. There were several people between me and her so I asked the person closest to me if this was the spouses group and he replied: I am not in the spouses group but she is, and pointed to his wife. I think I may have asked the general if he was in the spouses group, don't tell Jeff. So I found my group.

Watched the movie. I was my favorite movie ever. I hate to say that because you know when people tell you a movie is great you have high expectations and then you are inevitably disappointed. I laughed, I cried, it was set in Greece. What more do you want from a movie. If you go, wait during the credits there is a great little bit at the end.

After the movie we went to dinner. While there were many people who went to the movie only four of us went to dinner. Three of the four of us had daughters between the ages of 17 and 22. We could all therefore relate to the movie. All of the other ladies order drinks. I never order a drink if I am driving myself home. I love to drink, but you know, it was night and raining, and a DUI would effect my husband's career. We were there for over 2 hours and so I guess it is OK? What about you, do you have just one drink if you aren't going to drive for a couple of hours. Well not me, so I felt a little left out for a moment. But, quickly recovered.

It was a lovely evening and we all had a great time. Lots of stories and chatting. We have all lived everywhere. We all worry about our girls. We even talked a little about my compost bin. I am trying to figure out how to make one without spending money.

Girlfriend Etiquette

I have accepted an invitation from someone I do not know in my spouses group to attend the Mama Mia movie tonight. It was an open invitation to the whole group, so I am not sure how many will be going. We will be seeing the movie and then going to dinner. This makes three weekends in a row that I have gone to the movie theater while Jeff stays home with Lily. I am on a roll. Usually I am the one staying home because Jeff and Mandy love movies so much.

I am feeling very brave to be meeting up with people I don't know for an outing. I must have gotten a cup full of self esteem from somewhere. Do you have trouble getting up the nerve to go to social functions where you don't know anyone? I think this is one of the things that causes me to have a hard time making friends when we move.

I have made a ton of chatting buddies at the pool during Lily's lessons. I wonder if it is dumb if I ask for and hand out my phone number. A couple of the ladies have girls who are starting kindergarten this year like Lily and they are both the youngest child just like me. They both live near me too. Seems like enough to exchange numbers? I am not good at making girl friends. Do you ask for numbers or do you wait to be asked? Then when you get the number are you a caller or are you a wait to see if they call you type of person? I could get numbers and plan sushi dates while Lily is in school. That sounds like fun. Or find a workout buddy. Not as much fun. Tell me you making new friends secrets?

A little Ditty

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse
2. Your significant other? Front porch reading a book with his fan!
3. Your hair? I just cut my bangs again, I need to bleach it, the ends need a trim, but I love my hair cut, hope the next one turns out good too.
4. Your daughter? Older one is napping, but should be getting ready for work. Younger one is watching cartoons.
5. Your son? I always wanted a son, but we have decided to quit with two girls.
6. Your favorite thing? My new car! And my computer. Not necessarily in that order.
7. Your dream last night? I don't remember, I may have been beating people up.
8. Your favorite drink? Coffee, with half n half and sugar!
9. Your goal? To be kind.
10. The room you’re in? Living Room
11. Your church? is in my head
12. Your fear? Harm happening to my husband or girls.
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here in Mississippi. I hope to be working.
14. Where were you last night? Home. We ate a great dinner and watched some Netflix movies: Vantage Point and Fools Gold.
15. What you’re not? Disciplined.
16. Muffins? Blueberry.
17. One of your wish list items? Swimming pool.
18. Where you grew up? 0-12 Western Washington, 12-26 Elk Grove, California
19. The last thing you did? Swim lessons and then swimming with Lily
20. What are you wearing? Jean Shorts and a white T-Shirt with butterflies.
21. Your TV? PBS Arthur
22. Your pets? Pixie the dog is sleeping under the table, Daisy the cat is sleeping who knows where.
23. Your computer? Averetec laptop
24. Your life? I am satisfied with where I am and what my life is about for the most part.
25. Your mood? Happy
26. Missing someone? My Parents and brothers.
27. Your car? Hyundai Elantra
28. Something you’re not wearing? makeup
29. Favorite store? Cato
30. Your summer? eventful
31. Like(love) someone? Jeff
32. Your favorite color? green
33. Last time you laughed? swim lessons,Lily swam well on her own for the first time.
34. Last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago, I got a package in the mail from my parents, things from my grandma that my Aunt thought I would like. Included was a quilting project that was only halfway done. We worked together to make a quilt for Lily. She did the embroidery of some squares and I put it all together into a quilt. She was working on another one and only about half way through the squares. It broke me up and I cried quite a bit. I have decided to finish the squares and turn it into a quilt for Amanda. Then each of the girls will have a quilt to remember their great grandma Dorothy.
35. Who will repost this? Angel, Kim, Mama Daisy, Lorelei... and you!!!

Fair Skin in Mississippi

The girls and I all have very fair skin. I have had a lot of sunburns in my life and try very hard not to burn my kids skin. We love to be outdoors and especially we love to swim. Yesterday, we forgot one of the cardinal rules of swimming and Lily and I both got sun burns.

This is Lily's first sunburn. I have been doing a good job of keeping her skin safe. Everyday before swim lessons I apply her waterproof sunscreen 30 minutes before she gets in the water. I use SPF 15. When Mandy was a baby the Pediatrician recommended that we always use SPF 15. He said that using a higher number doesn't really offer that much more protection from the sun but does put a lot more chemicals into her blood stream. I only use sunscreen when we are going to be in the direct sun for more than 15 minutes between the hours of 10 A.M. and 2 P.M.

Yesterday, after swim lessons, Lily and I had a picnic lunch and then went back to the pool and swam together for a couple of hours. I forgot to reapply sunscreen to Lily and forgot to put any on me at all. That is so weird, I am always so good about remembering to put on the sunscreen. I don't know what I was thinking.

Our burns are mostly gone this morning. We had so much fun at the pool. Lily is possessed with wanting to learn to swim. She worked very hard re-doing all the things she does at her lessons, over and over again for two hours. I couldn't believe her determination. I had to drag her home kicking and screaming. I really don't like that determination when it is focused on fighting with me, but when it is focused on swimming it is a delight to see.

Lily absolutely refuses to listen to me or allow me to help her be a better swimmer. Her swimming technique is to stand in a vertical position and move her arms and legs in a way that makes her look like she is running under water. By the end of the day she was getting horizontal and moving her arms at least in a way that would propel her toward her goal. It cracks me up that she tries so hard but wont listen to my guidance at all. Not her swim instructor either. At some point our teachings will sink in and Lily will swear that she thought of it on her own. Yesterday, she jumped into the water and swam to the ladder more than 50 times. She didn't want me to touch her at all.

We had so much fun, and we want to go again today. I am worried about the sunburns and wondering if that is such a good idea. Perhaps if we put on sunscreen and keep our time at the pool down to a shorter amount of time. Maybe we should wait until next week. Next week is our last week of summer vacation. All summer I have been taking Lily swimming in our yard because we have a little pool and at the base pool she cannot touch the ground. I thought she would have more fun in the little pool. Turns out she is having more fun in the water over her head at the big pool.

Seems that we have decided to swim today in the noon sun with sunburns. Lily is so very excited. Me too!

Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum Series

I have been re-reading Janet Evanovich's series about the character Stephanie Plum. There are fourteen books and I have been reading them one after the other starting at One for the Money. I am currently waiting for Hard Eight to arrive. I have convince Mandy to read them too. She loves them as much as I do and we are having a great time laughing our way through the books.

Stephanie is a wonderful character. She is of course the main character of the books and she is torn between loving two men, Ranger and Joe Morelli. I love them both as well. Ranger is perfection. He has the body of a weight lifter and wears expensive all black clothes. He drives expensive cars and never makes mistakes. Everything about him is sexy and smoking hot. Joe is from Stephanie's neighborhood and has a hot Italian temper. They fight and make up, they have known one another their entire lives and seem inevitable. Yet, a part of Stephanie doesn't want to become her mother and marry Joe in a way feel like becoming her mother.

Stephanie is a bounty hunter. Her life is dangerous and fun. She is seemingly not wanting to grow up and punch a clock. Liking the adventure of her current profession. I like reading about it too. Her hero is wonder woman. Mine too.

Instead of Stephanie, I feel like I most closely identify with her mother. Lord help me. I have been inspired to wash windows, and get the dinner on the table by six every night. Stephanie's mom is so cool. She rocks as a home maker. The house is spotless and the meals are so great that her grown daughter can't help but stop by and for dinner several times per week. I have always been a little laissez faire about housework and cooking. I mean I do it, but I don't put my heart and soul into it. Lately I have been putting more effort into it and I am feeling really good about how great our house looks and how great we are eating. I have even been making homemade from scratch desserts, yum.

I used to be a bit of a wild child. Liking adventure and danger. Now I am getting excited about learning how to make a pineapple upside down cake. Doesn't that sound good? I have never had one. But, it is Stephanie's favorite. I am not even ashamed about not identifying with Stephanie so much as with her mother. Although I would much rather read a book about Stephanie than about her mother.

What about you? Do you miss your inner Wonder Woman? Or are you still finding the bad boys and the adventure in life to be most alluring?

Southern Fried Musings

It's not so hot here in the deep south, unless you go outside. Yesterday, we had a ton of errands and seemed to get only far away parking spaces. Living a sheltered life, from air conditioned house to air conditioned car, I had no idea it was hotter than an oven out there.

We only have two weeks until school starts. The other day Jeff said something, I wasn't really listening, and it included bla, bla, bla eight years of marriage. I looked at him like he was crazy. Have I really been married eight years, seems like just yesterday. Actually he is exaggerating, it wont be eight years until November. Lily is five and starting kindergarten, Jeff and I have been married for nearly eight years, and our Mandy is just shy of 18. Didn't I just graduate from hight school last week? I really had this out of body moment of wondering where has all the time gone.

Jeff asked me the other day if I still needed to have Saturday off. Seeing as I will be off all week while Lily is in school. He went on to tell me that he loves taking care of Lily on Saturday but occasionally would like to have a whole weekend vegetating in front of the TV. At first I thought that sounded reasonable, but now I am not so sure. I still want to have a day to myself. Maybe I wont need it if I have 7 hours per day all week to myself?

I heard on the radio the other day, great ideas for family vacations and someone suggested a literary tour. Meaning taking your kids to the sites from some of their favorite books. I think most of Mandy's favorite books take place in another dimensions, but I was wondering about taking trips to some of the great southern books sights. I was thinking of books like: Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird, Gone with the Wind, ...Can you think of any other books set in the south that we might read and figure out where they are set and go there for a fun family adventure?

A World in Which Bad People Do Not Exist

For those of you keeping track today is Friday and slide day at swim lessons. Last week Lily was disappointed that they only use the slide on every other Friday and was able to coerse her instructors into taking her down the slide. I was wondering if she would be as excited this week about going down the slide now that she really knows what it is like, to fly through the air and go completely under the water. The answer is YES, she was excited, and she loved it even more this time. She was the only one in her level one class who went down the slide on her own, instead of on her instructors lap. She was smiling/ laughing so hard that she got water in her mouth everytime she went down. She didn't swallow or choke, I guess she is learning. I have never seen a kid love swim lessons as much as Lily does.

Now for my dilema and request for advice or thoughts. I am worried about the private parts talk. Lily having been cared for only by family thus far, we have never really seen a need to have a talk about private parts. Now that she is going off to school I feel the need to tell her don't let people look or touch these parts.

On the other hand I am a little hesitant to bring into Lily's perfect little world the topic of bad people.

Shut It Already

Many years ago in another life it seems I worked at a television station in order to support myself and my Mandy. I started as a secretary and advanced to Traffic Manager before getting married and moving to Italy to be with my dear not Italian husband (not that there is anything wrong with that). He is in the service.

I was initially hired because the person who had this position prior to me had been promoted. She was able to spend a week training me. This was my first office job. Prior to this job I had been a dish washer at a pizza joint, a dish washer at Wendy's, a cashier at Payless, a cashier at Pay'N Save and an at home day care provider. I was so excited to be working as a secretary. I was being paid more than double minimum wage, I had health insurance and vacation. I felt like I had really arrived. During my training I discovered that my job was to sit around and gossip all day and answer the phone or type something up if the need arose. I was also to act very put out and grumble a lot when the need did arrise.

My trainer, we will call her Connie, then went on to do her new very important job and left me to my secretary job. Over time I discovered that Connie never really worked at all and I think they hired me in order to actual have the secretary things accomplished. Connie continued to gossip all day long. She was a bit of a mean, bully type of gossip too. Even if she liked you and had lunch with you, invited you over to her house etc. She would only be being nice to you in order to get your dirt and then tell it to everyone. Too bad for Connie I like to tell people my dirt, this is why I have a blog after all, not really a secret keeper. No one better to gossip about than me.

It was funny that over the course of the five years I worked at the company Connie had many people sit next to her. Every time someone new would be sat next to
Connie she would talk, talk, talk. People would come stand by her desk and talk, talk, talk. Soon the person sitting next to Connie would complain. There would be a memo to the whole office about talking too much. We would all try to stop talking, except Connie. Next the supervisor to the person sitting next to Connie would complain and then that person would get a new desk somewhere else. And some hapless victim, usually the stations latest employee would get sat next to Connie.

There was an office near Connie that was available. But, the boss didn't want to reward Connie and give her the office. I kept telling him that we would all love it if she were islolated, since he can't give us all offices why not just make sure no one has to sit next to Connie. My boss refused. He would call me into his office and make me listen to him talk for hours about who we could sit next to Connie. He finally settled on this one guy who was in his 70's and refused to retire. He kinda annoyed a lot of people as well because he refused to talk and was a little secretive. My boss thought they would be a match made in heaven. I felt bad for Jim. I got married and moved away before this switch had a chance to occur. I would have loved to have seen that, poor Jim.

I am writting this because my dear friend Lorelei is going through a similar situation at her work. I wonder if any of you have ever worked with a Connie and a boss who couldn't tell her to shut up? Or fire her?

A Permit to Drive

Mandy has had her driving permit to drive with an adult in the car for nearly a year. In two weeks it expires. We haven't really been driving. She doesn't like to drive. I don't like to white knuckle it in the passenger's seat. Mandy's driving has brought out the worst in both of us. Now we have two weeks until her permit expires. We can get another one. We have instead decided to go for it. At least try to learn to drive in the next two weeks and go for the test. Even if she fails at least she will know what it is like.

We went for a two hour drive today. It started out rough. By the end we were having a very nice chat and we were both feeling a little better. Hopefully it will be even better tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Miss Lily Bug

Fearless and Friendly

Lily's days of being four are coming to an end. Elementary school here we come. Monday is her birthday. I have been a stay at home mom and Lily has not been away from me very much at all in her life thus far. I have been a little concerned that this would handicap her kindergarten experience, however in the end it has been a wonderful gift for both of us to be able to spend these years together. Now she is more than ready to take the enormous step of independence and venture off on to the school bus to full day kindergarten all on her own. School starts on Aug. 6th here.

Meanwhile, we have been taking swim lessons. We have just completed the third week and we have three more weeks to go and that takes us right up to the week that school starts. School is starting on a Wednesday for some reason. Our first two weeks of swim lessons were in the mommy and me class. They require all kids under the age of five and a half to be in the mommy and me class. Lily was able to demonstrate that she can float on her back and belly and that she is able to hold her breath and put her face in the water, so they promoted her to the next level of swim lessons. We call the class the no-mommy class, but they call it level 1. This past week Lily has been in the pool everyday without her mom. While I was there at the pool I made sure to sit far enough away that I couldn't hear what was going on and gave Lily a little space.

The first few days Lily was a little quiet. While she loved the no-mommy class and excitedly talked of nothing else, she kept to herself for the most part during the lessons. On Friday she was feeling quite confident and her exuberant personality started to be expressed to her teachers and the other kids. That day I ended up sitting very close by her class and was able to hear and see all that was going on. Lily is the best little swimmer in the class. If she only knew what to do with her arms and legs she could be an Olympian. She is not at all afraid of the water and loves to be under water. But, she kicks and moves her arms in ways that are not conducive to going forward. I guess that is what the lessons are for. The other children in the class are a year or so older and most of them do not like the water much at all. They line up at the wall and take turns being helped by the teacher. While waiting at the wall Lily is the life of the party. She is giggling and goofing off with the other boys. Especially this one boy who is quite a bit bigger than her. The two of them were the renegades of the class and even had to be separated. One time the teacher asked the kids to raise their hands if they were listening. Lily and her little friend where the only ones to not raise their hands. While she is technically there at swim lessons to learn to swim, I can't help but be glad she is having the chance to work on her social skills. She appears to have an instinct for socialization and my kindergarten concerns are lessened by the fact that she was able to be comfortable with the teachers and kids in swim lessons in less than a week. Yeah, Lily.

There is an enormous slide at this pool. Last summer and so far this summer the slide was closed for repairs. Last week all the kids got to go down the slide on Friday, in celebration for passing their two week swim lesson session. All the kids except for the little ones in the Mommy and me class. We were then in the mommy and me class and Lily was so upset that everyone got to go down the slide except her. Another mom told me earlier this week that they go down the slide every Friday. I passed this information on to Lily and now that this week she was in the no-mommy class she was so excited that on Friday she would be allowed to go down the slide. This is all she talked about. As the lesson was coming to an end, I noticed that none of the kids in any of the classes were going to the slide. No one was talking about it, no one was lining up. As the clock ticked slowly toward 11:15 I got a knot in my stomach. I knew that there was not going to be sliding at the end of today's lesson. I felt horrid for telling Lily she would be able to go down the slide without having asked the teacher. I knew she was going to be upset.

When 11:15 finally came and the teachers said it was time to go home, Lily climbed up the ladder out of the pool very quickly, stood at the side of the pool and dissolved into tears. She was not throwing a fit so much as crushed. I wrapped her up in the towel and told her how sorry I was. The instructors were beside themselves worried about Lily. What is the matter? I can imagine this extreme change from the laughing, goofing off, life loving girl that they had seen all week to this devastated sobbing girl was a shock. They had no idea what was wrong, did she lose a limb climbing out of the pool? I explained the situation and apologized to Lily again. We all told her next Friday she would get to go down the slide. Her crying was ebbing a little, but she was still ever so sad.

All of a sudden her two instructors decided they would take Lily on the slide. One of them took her to the deep end and helped her climb the stairs to the top of the enormous slide. Usually little kids are not allowed on the slide. You have to be able to swim the length of the pool unassisted to be allowed to use the slide during regular pool hours. But, if you are in swim lessons on every other Friday (I thought it was every Friday) they help the little ones use the slide. Today Lily was the only kid in swim lessons who got go down the slide. She flew out the end of the slide, she was suspended in air for several beats and then went into and under the water. The teacher helped her up and to the side of the pool. I met her there with a towel and thanked then many times. I think it was a little more than Lily expected as she was pretty quiet.

I guess Lily has made an impression on her teachers for them to go to such lengths for her. It was so sweet. Funny too, that they spend the entire lesson trying to get other kids to jump into the water or put their face in the water and here is Lily wanting to fly out the end of the slide into the deep end of the pool. She has wanted to go down that slide since last summer when she first saw it. So wish fulfilled. And Mommy feels so much better about kindergarten knowing that she seems to be doing well interacting with her peers and teachers without my interference. I wonder how she is going to feel about the slide next Friday, will she still want to do it now that she knows?

What am I going to do when my XM radio subscription expires? I was inspired by a conversation on the radio yet again. This time the host mentioned that he does not believe that trust is the most important component in a good marriage. He feels that absolute trust is an invitation to be treated as a doormat. If I know you will always stay with me no matter what, why would I bother to be nice to you? I still think that trust is the most important component in a marriage, but what about you? Do you think absolute trust is an invitation to be treated as a doormat?

Perhaps my definition of trust is different than the guy on the radio. I feel that I trust my husband to be on my side and be my partner. I trust that he is going to take me and the kids and our mutual priorities into consideration in all his decision making. When he is spending money, or making commitements with his time, and of course with his romantic inclinations. To me trust is not just about sex or intimacy with another woman it is about a lot of life choices all made taking the family in consideration.

That sounds a little like I have my husband on a short leash. That is not what I meant. I have also trust that my husband is going to be his own advocate. If he is not happy or getting what he wants out of life, I trust that he is going to let me know. I think it is terribly important to work together in a marriage to find a balance where both people are happy, I have to be an advocate for me and he has to be an advocate for himself. If I know what it is my husband wants and I know what I want and the kids want etc I can more easily make decisions that put us on a path toward all of us being happy. If no one tells me they are not having their needs met then I don't take their needs into consideration while making decisions.

It turns out that Jeff and I have these long discussions that go on and on for years where we are trying to advocate our own point of view. But, in the end he ususally goes out of his way to make me happy and I go out of my way to make him happy. For instance... Our biggest hurddle so far has been about the division of labor in our marriage. Especially when we were both working and when Lily was very little and very hard. I felt like I couldn't handle it all, Jeff felt that as the primary bread winner he deserved to be taken care of at home and to be able to come home from a hard day and relax a bit. I felt he was taking the relaxing too far, he felt I was taking my need to relax too far. We would list our daily accomplishments to one another all the time. I have done, ABC.. well I have done DEF. You think I don't do anything... On and on it went. We finally came to a division of the labor that we both feel is equitable. Now when I find myself listing all I do, I stop myself and when I hear Jeff doing it I try to tell him how much I appreciate all he does. I still sometimes feel the resentment from before even though the issue has been settled and I am just remebering how I felt and those feeling sare not actually appropriate to the current situation. Do you ever do that? Have the same fight again even though it is no longer appropriate?

What in the world does all that have to do with trust? I have to remind myself sometimes that I trust that my husband has our best interest at heart even when he is napping and I am moppin g. I have to remember that the situation is now equitable and that I am just remember a time when I didn't feel that way. I guess if our issue had been about other women I would have to remind myself to trust him whenever we were around other women.

My point is that I trust my husband completely. I also feel like it is my job to make sure I am getting all I need from the marriage. Meaning that I have to make sure I communicate my needs to him. I also have to hear what he needs. I have to make sure that we come to a compromise of balancing everyone's needs. I don't always get my way. If I am not getting my way on something important I have to keep on advocating about that thing until I am satisfied. I trust that he is on my side and that together with enough discussion we can work through anything. Trust to me is black and white, I absolutely trust my husband. But, I don't think it is black and white that he is always going to act in the way that I would want him to, sometimes he drives me crazy. I don't think that I have been making any sense at all. I have been thinking of how to say it for over a week. Anyone out there have the words to express my thougtht?

What are your thought on trusting your spouse? Is unconditional trust important to you? Is it an invitation to be treated poorly?

Spike's Pickleball Paddles

My first draft of a new design for my dad's website is finally done.

Spike's Pickleball Paddles

Maybe you can stop by and help me find all my errors. My dad decided to change from selling one product, a pickleball paddle, to selling several pickleball related products. I had to change the layout a bit. He also decided to sell his products at an ebay store and I had to include links to the store.

Now I am working on writing the programming to make his site into a store. So one can order items and put them in a cart etc. Nothing like learning on your feet. I thought after the store stuff I would try to put up a message board for pickleball players to have conversations. First I need to get the whole thing xhtml compliant and add some meta tags. I also forgot to include the logo that I actually made, somewhere on the site.

Oveall I really love the layout and the colors. What about you? Do you think the header is too big? What about those yellow lines are they cool looking or too much? Did you like the pickle? Let me know all your lovely thoughts.

Oh and if you want to include a link to his website on your blog that would not hurt my feelings at all. I even made a cute little add for my sidebar and I could make one for yours. You should also be playing pickleball it is a lot of fun. Anyone can play all you need is a paddle. That is the slogan I came up with for the website, pretty good, eh?

My 4th of July weekend summary

We had a most excellent fourth. We had some people over and a bbq. The food was good the company was excellent.

The men were playing poker by the time dark came. We had some options for our fireworks viewing pleasure. We could drive downtown to see the show, we could walk to the beach near my house and perhaps see the show from there, or we could sit in the backyard and listen to the show. We opted for the walk to the beach near my house.

It was dark, and there aren't any street lights. I hooked us up with a few flashlights and we were off. Lily insisted on coming even though it was past her bedtime and she was already pretty cranky. People were fearful of walking that far with a cranky little one. They all thought I was going to have to carry her. I don't carry Lily. Jeff and the other boys decided to continue to play poker and not see any fireworks.

Lily opted to run the entire way there to the beach. I had trouble keeping up with her. I kept having to ask her to stop and wait for the others (and for me to catch my breath). We got to the beach and it was a wonderful view of all the fireworks shows that were happening in our area. We could see two differnent towns and several casinos shows. All in the distance with another show right there at the beach where we were. Lily doesn't really like noise, but she survivied. I had a most excellent time. We walked back home and by then from the sultry night we were all soaked with sweat. I was impressed with how well Lily behaved.

The boys finished up their poker and everyone went home around 11PM. I usually join them in the poker but this time I wanted to visit with the ladies. It is weird that none of the other ladies like poker. I love beating them. Not long ago we played in a tournament and had proffessional poker players (people who have played at the cassinos). And I took out two of them in one had. It was great. Jeff ended up winning the tournament but I paved the way for him.

Saturday we (Jeff, Lily and I) were bored by 5PM. We had spent the day hanging out. Our house is clean, our yard is mowed, we spent all our money on having our house painted, buying a new car and buying a security system for the house. What to do. Jeff wanted to go out to dinner. I thought it might be more prudent to walk across the big new bridge (2 miles). We decided to do the walk, it was still pretty warm when we went at 5PM. The bridge is an enormous hill up and down. Lily and Jeff jogged for awhile. I walked. They waited for me. On the way back Lily was very hot and cranky. She no longer wanted to walk.

First we sat down and watched all the boats for awhile, then we tried to get her to walk again. She was not happy. Then she got this great idea to walk backwards. So I walked backwards with her. She laughed and smiled, no longer cranky. We held hands and tried to jog backwards. It was hillarious. Jeff took off and walked quite a ways in front of us. Poor Jeff, he is not the backwards walking type of person. Some of the people we backwards almost walked into were shitty and didn't move over for us. I guess we were backward walking on the wrong side of the walking path. People actually tripped over Lily, I would shimmy behind her real fast so they would hit me and not her. Jeff was shaking his head. At least Lily didn't whine the rest of the way instead she was giggling and having a good time. I don't know how Jeff puts up with us.

What is your sign?

I'm a Gemini, Jeff is a Aries, Mandy is a Pisces, Lily is a Cancer; what about you?

Remember, if you are on the cusp of another sign you most likely will have features of both signs... which may lead you into total confusion......

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they Want.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20)
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.

CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, en ergetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Fli! rtatiou s. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist. Peter Pan syndrome (doesn't want to grow up). Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined to tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

mismatched kid

What do you do when your daughter picks our her own outfit and it doesn't match? Lily picks out her own clothes and dresses herself everyday. Today she is wearing a pair of shorts that have a white background and a turquoise blue gingham checkerboard pattern, her top is white background with a green leaf pattern. If I say something we will fight. It will set the tone for the day. If I don't say anything, this is what she will wear all day. Oh well at least she is cute. For some reason she always picks this outfit and it drives me crazy. So far I have not mentioned to her that it does not match.

Wish I had my camera, Mandy took it with her , she is visiting her grandparents in Arizona. Hope she takes pictures.

Could you pass the new citizen test?

Take the test and see and then tell me your score.

Take test here.

How to be Happy

I am beginning to recover from my cold. It has not been fun. I have been spending most of my free time napping. Today I am on the computer tracking Mandy's progress across the country as she flies to see her grandparents on her own. We got to text message back and forth as she changed planes in Dallas and now she appears to be on the plane headed toward her grandparents. I am so nervous. She paid for this trip on her own. I couldn't be more proud.

I have been doing a lot of driving lately in my pretty new car. Listening to my free for three months XM radio. I have been listening to talk radio mostly and find it fascinating that most of these programs seem to revolve around the topic of happiness. Seems that Americans are unhappy and seeking advice to remedy their discontent.

The advice I have heard so far: meditate, seek your bliss, be more productive, have more sex, listen to your inner voice, and flirt more.

Here is my advice from one happy camper to you. Happiness is work, it isn't something that just happens, like some people are happy and some people are not, it only happens if you do the work. First you cannot be happy unless you feel safe. If you are in an abusive relationship or if you are fearful for your shelter, your food, your survival, unless you can change that you will not be happy.

Step one: people. The people you interact with on a daily basis are an important part of your happiness. You do have quite a bit of control on how that interaction goes. Smile, laugh, make eye contact, listen, be nice. Treat others well and they will light up and enjoy your company and you will then enjoy their company. Grumpy, grumbling, complaining, is going to get you unhappy people around yourself and contribute to your unhappy environment. You might have to fake it, but be nice anyways.

Step two: environment. Declutter your life. Take the time to keep your environment clutter free. Keep up with dishes, laundry, don't leave stuff laying around. It will amaze you how much a clutter free enviroment will affect your state of mind.

Step three: the mind. If you are unhappy chances are that you are very hard on yourself and very critical of yourself. So be nice to yourself. Instead of thinking of all the things you need to do all the time, make a list of all those things and pick one. Whenever you start to think I need to, and then you start your never ending list of a thousand things, stop and think of the one most important thing on your list. Think of all the things you have done toward accomplishing that one thing. Think, those other things will come later, I am making progress on my number one priority. Also have dreams for your short term and long term future, imagine how it will be when those dreams come true. Come up with a plan to make those dreams come true and think of all the steps you are taking to make those dreams come true. See thinking about positive things and your accomplisments instead of thinking all the time of how you are failing and don't have the things you want.

This is my advice, see it is a lot of work to retrain the way to act toward others, to clean up your environment and to change your inner dialoge. Everyone has down days and down moments but overall you can be happy for the most part.

Stolen Moments

My creation
Originally uploaded by marshamlow

How it's done:

* Answer each of the questions below.
* Surf over to Flickr (set up an account if you don't have one — it's quick and easy) and type your answers (one at a time) into the search bar.
* From the choice of pictures shown only on the front page, click the one that moves you.
* Once the page with your picture opens, copy the URL.
* Surf over to the Mosaic Maker, set up your mosaic, and paste your URLs.
* Click "Create!"

Here are the questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. Where would you go on your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. Choose one word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name?


Many thanks to Jennifer at Open Book who I stole this lovely Meme from.