A New Tooth Brush

At the store the other day I remembered that I wanted to buy a new toothbrush. Mine didn't seem to have soft bristles. I thought as long as I was there I would get one for Jeff too. His is the same as mine so it must not be soft bristles either. I must have forgotten to check the bristle type when I bought them last.

I was looking for the cheapest ones that specifically said soft. I found a package that sold two tooth brushes for the price of one and specifically labeled the brushes as soft. Sold. When I got them home and was taking the two new tooth brushes out of their packages I noticed that one was yellow and one was green.

I decided to put the green one on Jeff's side and the yellow one on my side. I just thought green was more boyish or manly and Jeff might not enjoy a yellow toothbrush. I didn't think anything else about the tooth brushes. We share a toothbrush holder mine is always the toothbrush on the left, Jeff's is always the one on the right. My drawer is also on the left and I keep some of my things on the counter on the left. Jeff's drawer, counter space and cupboard are on the right. I thought the placement of the toothbrush and the color would be a clear indication to Jeff which one was his. I didn't really think about making a point of telling him which one was his.

A week went by and then one day Jeff was about to brush his teeth and he asked me which one of the tooth brushes was his. I told him the green one. He told me oops he had been using my toothbrush all week. He thought since green is my favorite color the green one would naturally be mine. The funny thing is that each and every time he brushed his teeth the entire week with my toothbrush he was standing about six feet away from me and could have easily asked me. He said I was sleeping. I would have been happy to have been woken up to avoid having shared a toothbrush for a week. EWWWW.

Now he thinks it is ok for me to continue to use the yellow soiled toothbrush while he moves on to the never used green one.

Thanksgiving

Cooking is one of my favorite things. I love to try new recipes. I love eating out and then coming home and trying to recreate what I have eaten. I love traveling the world and learning all the different ingredients and techniques used in different places. This is one of the most ardent passions of my life, the creation of good food.

However, I dislike cooking the Thanksgiving feast. I hate spending the entire day in the kitchen all alone and then sitting all stiff together at the table, eating, and then spending another hour or so cleaning up all alone again. I love the discovery part of learning to create all my favorite Thanksgiving dishes. I love adding, subtracting and finding the perfect combination of foods for my table. But, I get lonely.

This year it was just the four of us for Thanksgiving. I have accepted that we are never going to spend the day with either of our families and we have not lived here long enough to be close enough with anyone to share such an intimate holiday - so it is just us.

This year I decided to make my family help me cook the feast. At first I was hesitant because with the exception of Lily none of my family like to go in the kitchen for more than a drink out of the refrigerator. You should hear them complain about having to boil water to make instant Ramen noodles or to get one of them to wash dishes or even to rinse a plate is to have to endure the most unimaginable amount of complaining you can imagine. I am weak and usually just let them off the hook. But, this year I devised a plan.

I set up work stations for each person on the kitchen table. I gave them each a job. I gave them all the ingredients, tools and recipe necessary. There was a little bit of complaining, but eventually they started having fun. We started in the morning with the desserts. Jeff made the pumpkin pie. Mandy and Lily made the banana pudding. I stuffed the turkey. We were all together and working it was a lot of fun. I let them all leave while I cleaned the dishes and cleaned up the whirl win of work.

Next was the side dishes. A few hours later I had created work stations for the side dishes. I gave them each a job and we got all the side dishes ready to be cooked in less than an hour. I again had to clean everything up. Then I just had to do the finishing touches on the side dishes and dinner was served.

Lily and I had decorated the table together sometime during the intermission between the first work session and second work session. We even used a table cloth this year. I got it at a garage sale. We even ironed it. Lily and Jeff had picked oranges and lemons in our yard the day before and I used them to make a cute center piece. One of our trees was confused by a warm spell and had sprouted some pretty purple flowers, Lily and I picked a few and added that to the bowl of fruit. It felt really nice to have a bowl of pretty things from our yard in the middle of the table.

We have a small kitchen table and no dinning room or big fancy table. This year instead of having all the food on the table and passing it around as is tradition, we did a buffet in the kitchen and then brought our plate to the table. I enjoyed having the extra room at the table more than I enjoy the passing the food around. The family was very relaxed and the conversation was lively. I made sure to compliment everyone on the dishes they had created. They were all so proud. I think that the food turned out better this year than ever before. I think that it is easier for me to delegate than to keep track of all those details all by myself. This year was a mixture of tradition and new. I hope we can keep the whole family in the kitchen as a part of our Thanksgiving tradition because that was a lot of fun for me.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

Pink

Lily is having some belly issues as a result of her current antibiotic. She has had an ear infection and sinus infection forever and therefore her doctor is advising we keep her on the medicine. Poor Lily is not always able to make it to the bathroom in time due to these issues.

One of the casualties of not making it to the bathroom on time was her favorite pair of underwear. I was not aware that this was her favorite pair of underwear. She has a thousand pairs of underwear. After a particular pair did not get completely clean in the washing machine I tossed it in the garbage. Lily happened to be there and was distraught. She cried for ever about her pink panties.

It turns out this is her only pair of pink panties. All the others have patterns on them. Lily feels that these panties are her most precious of all her belongings, after I threw them away, and she was grief stricken.

I offered to drive to the store and buy her a new pair right away. Jeff said, put it on your Christmas list and maybe Santa will bring you a pair of pink panties.

The next day Lily and I were at the store picking up a few items. Santa happened to be there. No one was in line to sit on his lap. We walked right by and he invited Lily to come and tell him what she wants for Christmas.

Lily told Santa she wants pink panties for Christmas. He looked puzzled and asked her again. She repeated very loud and very clear,

I want a pair of pink panties for Christmas.

The Bookstore

When I called to wish my parents a happy Thanksgiving yesterday I was informed I had not updated my blog in ages. Feels like just yesterday. Time has been slipping by so quickly I hardly know where in time I exist. The other day I saw a sign telling me to vote no on something on November 4th. I told Jeff, are we voting about something again on November 4th. He looked at me and informed me that I already voted on November 4th it is now the end of November. I looked at him a little puzzled for a moment before I remembered that it is actually the end of November in 2008. Wow, seems like it just turned 2000. Remember when I'm gonna party like it is 1999 was about a long time in the future instead of about a time in the distant past.

Life here in Mississippi is going well. Lily is still sick. She is on her second course of antibiotics, this one seems to be working. Mandy is still deciding about college, a local friend of mine went to the college Mandy is thinking of attending and gave me about a thousand reasons Mandy should go away to college. We were volunteering at the school and all the moms who had gone away to college and one mom who had a child away at college now piped in. I was able to take all this information home to Mandy and I think I have convinced her to try it for at least a semester. While the college is only an hour to an hour and a half away she is worried about things like her braces. How will she go the orthodontist? I reminded her that due to her weird under bite we had to pick an orthodontist that is almost an hour from our house and we make it there every month. Come to think of it she might be closer at the college. She didn't seem reassured. I will lose the only baby sitter Lily has ever had.

Jeff retires from the military in four years. He has during his time in the service earned an associates degree, a bachelor's degree and a masters degree. Seems that he would be prepared for the transition to a civilian life. However, it is hard to find a job. He searches and searches for jobs relating to his degree in this area and so far has been disappointed. We are trying to come up with a plan for the future, to begin to plan for his retirement. How will be pay our mortgage? Will we stay here in Mississippi or move elsewhere for a job? Do we want to be near family or do we wish to stay here? Even the question of do we wish to try and get another overseas assignment, just one more before Jeff retires. All these questions swirl in our minds. We are gypsies after all and the thought of staying in one place forever is a little bit daunting. Even thought we love it here, we love it everywhere - is the adventure really over?

We have been toying with the idea of opening a bookstore. Here where we live there isn't a bookstore. We all drive about 45 minutes or order online. We live in a well educated spot and we feel like a bookstore would do well here. We are also possibly eligible for a small business loan through the VA. We are just thinking about it and trying to do the research to see if it would be profitable. How many books we would have to sell per day to pay the bills etc. But, I have to tell you I really have my hopes up about this. We shall see.

PS. To Kim, it has been so warm here today our house got up to 77 and we considered turning on the a/c due to the humidity. Haven't frozen yet.

I am about to freeze to death

I got up at four this morning to drive Jeff to the airport. Upon arriving home I found that my mouse was no longer working. I got Lily off to school. She was in a mood. She did not want to eat, or take her medicine, or wear her jacket, and she cried all the way to the bus stop because we left the house four minutes later than she likes to leave. All the morning crying combined with her sinusitus caused a lot of coughing. For Lily coughing often leads to throwing up. However she has been at school for an hour now and no phone call to come get the sick kid. She is also upset that I am coming at lunch time to give her a dose of medicine. Not about the medicine but about me disturbing her during her lunch. I am planning on staying and eating with her, won't she be thrilled. My conclusion is that Lily is feeling better and she now has enough energy for the demons to come out and play. Only kidding, but I have noticed that she is meaner and onrier when she is less sick. Heaven help me if she fully recovers from this illness.

My job is going to be a nightmare today with a laptop and no mouse. Oh well I guess life goes on.

The temperature here went from nearly 80 to the low 30's and it is annoying. I keep having to change my thermastat from a/c to heat and back again. Last week I was wearing shorts and flip flops this week I am bundled up and cold. I miss the warmth. We are having a few leaves on the trees change colors. I saw a couple of red and a couple of yellow leaves. I guess that counts as fall colors.

I am thinking of buying myself a new computer while Jeff is out of town. Don't tell him. I don't think he has internet access at his hotel. I always give him a hard time when he goes away for "classes". This one just happens to be near his family. I call it a vacation.

In January Jeff might have to be deployed. He won't know for sure until closer to the date. He was supposed to go sometime between June and January but he was not chosen. Now he is supposed to not be eligible again to go for 12 months. However his boss decided to make him eligible again in January. It all hinges on whether or not one of his co-workers manages to get pregnant between now and then. She is trying but can't be removed from the list unless she is. If she is he goes, if she isn't she goes. Jeff volunteered for the June to January bucket so that he would be home in time for Mandy's graduation. He didn't get sent, but looks like now he will be sent and have to miss her graduation. Wow January thru July with no husband fun times. I think I might need more than a new car.

A friend of mine here in Mississippi attended the college of Mandy's choice. If she decides to go to a University that is. My friend gave me a very hard time for allowing Mandy to even consider going to community college. She took me through a day in the life of going to the university and living in the dorms. I mentioned all this to Mandy. I told her that she should probably try the University for at least one semester and see. The next day and ever since she has been in a very good mood. Coincidence? I wonder. Sometimes I think she just tells me what she thinks I want to hear. I am going to a parent night at the school tonight to learn all about planning on how to pay for college.

Wednesday, I am spending the whole day going around with my friend begging for donations to our Relay for Life team. We are trying to put together a gift basket that we will be auctioning off. Anyways, I wonder if I can say - and do you have any spare change for my daughter's college fund. Do you think Obama will make college free by summer? Or pray that the Air Force will let Jeff trasfer his GI bill to Mandy. I think because he used a portion of it on himself it is not going to be eligible for transfer, but we will see.

Ponders of a Muddled Housewife

Lily and Jeff are currently at the ER having Lily's ear checked for an infection. She has been complaining of an ear ache off and on for about a week. Yesterday she came home from school and went to straight to sleep. She didn't wake up until 11:30PM and that was only long enough for some more Tylenol and drops in the ear. She doesn't have a fever though. Military doctors are so dissmissive toward me, or that is my impression, so I sent Jeff. He seems to get better results from the doctors. She hasn't ever been on an antibiotic, not because she hasn't been sick more because the military is stingy with allowing us to get appointments and giving out medicine. Or so is my impression of the whole being insured by the military situation.

Did I tell you that I am a team captain for the Relay for Life this year? I asked everyone I know to be on my team. They all said yes, but at the first team meeting only two came. So we will see how successful I am as a team captain. I did coerse Jeff and Mandy to be on my team too. We are planning some fund raisers for December right now. Next week I am going around town begging for gift certificates and or small items for a gift basket. We are planning to raffle the gift basket at a Christmas market on Dec. 6th.

But first we have to come up with a team name. This has proven to be most difficult. This is the 25th year of Relay for Life and our town is using the 80's as the theme for the event. The colors of the Relay are purple and white. We have been thinking of names like: Purple Rain, Purple People Eaters, Like Totally Cured!, Friends for a Cure... Any suggestions from you creative people?

My job has doubled in work load this last week. On top of everything else that has been a major pain. But, the money is nice. Speaking of money, my anniversary was on Thursday. Jeff and I have now been married 8 years. We decided to forgo presents and instead we went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant we have been wanting to try for the past year and a half. The cheapest meal at this place was $25 per plate, plus drinks, etc. At first I was going to get whatever was least expensive, water and nothing else. Jeff convinced me we, this is our anniversary and we should enjoy whatever we really want. So I did. I even got a glass of wine. We had appitizers and I had the most expensive thing on the menu. I have never eaten anything like this in my life. It was the most amazing meal. I had so much fun. I can still taste the food. I wish I could cook like that. If you ever come to visit me we have to go there.

Speaking of visits. Our friends from Japan. Our Japanese National friends are thinking of coming here for a visit next year. I am so excited. They were so kind to us during our four years in Japan. Enhancing our experience so much by taking us under their wing and showing us the Japan that most Americans never see. Camping, festivals, local spots - I can't wait to do the same for them. I keep filing away all the things I want to show them. Jeff and I both do, we keep a list. And the food, wow. Do you think it would be rude if someone flies half way around the world to visit you, and you ask them to cook for you. My friend Ristico can cook like you cannot believe. Even over a campfire in the middle of nowhere the food she would whip up was amazing. I guess she should be allowed to relax on her vacation while I pamper her. But, I miss her cooking so much. I wonder if she could make do with the American ingredients? What do you think? Is it rude to ask your guest to cook for you?

*update to add: Jeff just called, my poor baby has sinusitus? She got three perscriptions, however the on base pharmacy is not open and we have to go figure out how to aquire and pay for the prescription at an off base pharmacy. I was looking for our insurance information and found a hand written note on an old receipt from years ago in Japan. On this note one of my Japanese friends was teaching me how to cuss at my husband in Japanese. She wrote it all down for me and I have kept it in my wallet ever since. Omae no Kasan Kussotare (you mother fu**er). In case you ever need to cuss in Japanese.

Entitlement Anyone - Who Me?

A few days ago Jeff was off from work on a school day. We had the opportunity to have the house to ourselves. Which is not something that happens very often. We decided to get some lunch to go from one of our favorite spots and then watch a movie at home. Jeff called in the order while I drove the 20 minutes to pick it up. This spot is a bit of a drive from our house and it is a little more expensive than our normal fare.

I ended up getting bad service and the food ended up being edible but not as spectacular as usual. We are currently having to tighten the belt with our finances quite a bit. I was extremely disappointed that I had spent so much money and time to get this special lunch and then it was not a pleasant experience. I told Jeff that I was over that restaurant and I had no plans to ever go back. He agreed.

Later I was driving Mandy to work and told her about the experience. When I got to the part about never wanting to go back, she got very upset with me. For the record there isn't a single thing Mandy would eat at the restaurant, but still it is the principle of the thing. She told me that customers where she works (cashier at a grocery store) are always acting like that (like me?). She tells me that sometimes people have bad days, no one is perfect, that I need to lighten up. It got me to thinking that perhaps I am being a tad judgmental. Especially since I have received excellent service and food at that restaurant on at least a dozen occasions.

I have always been under the mistaken impression that Mandy has some entitlement issues. Perhaps that particular issue is more mine than hers.

My Independent Kids are Annoying Me

I thought that tarot card thing in the last post was freakishly correct. That sums me up with a tidy little bow. I am always falling in love with something or someone. Could be anything but I get all excited like a new love. Oh well, I may be a dork but I am LOVING life.

Lily woke up this morning around 5AM. Her usual time is 6AM. Last night she fell asleep around 5PM. I couldn't wake her up. She missed dinner and her bath. She really didn't eat as much this morning as I expected having missed dinner.

We normally spend 40 minutes getting ready. There is actually only about 10 or 15 minutes of getting ready and the rest of the time is spent meandering. Lily is not a rushing type of person. She gets crazy if we have to hurry. So, I get her up probably earlier than most parents and we have a silly time together in the morning.

Today we added an hour to our morning ritual that is already stretched out pretty far for what we have to accomplish. We ate two breakfasts. We read a book. We cut the box tops and glued them to a sheet. It was weird to have all that time together in the morning. Weird but nice.

I have to admit that I miss the girls during the day so much. It is still feeling like someone ripped off my left arm. A hole in my heart. I am such a baby. I love, having a job and doing volunteer work. I love how I spend my day. I enjoy the fact that our time together is spent in a routine and we don't fight or have very many discipline problems anymore.

It must be some instinctual Mama Bear thing. Because I love the way our life is set up right now. Lily is thriving in her school environment and we still have tons of time for just us. I now have more time for me and to make friends and accomplish things outside of cooking, cleaning, discipling, etc. But, that tug is sometimes painful still.

The funny thing is that while I volunteer at the school a lot, Lily doesn't like me to visit her. So I stay away from her class. I help in other classes and I help in ways that don't put me in contact with Lily. All of Lily's life she has been a not so very affectionate person. As a baby she wanted to be put down so she could see the world and figure out how to climb on top of my dinning room table etc. All her life hugs and kisses have been quick and cuddling has been rare. Now, she comes home from school and she lets me love her just a little bit more. I think she must miss me a bit too. She will willingly climb into my lap and just be. I have always been more affectionate than my children can stand. I think it is a good thing when they are the ones to say enough already mom.

Today the kindergarten is having the first field trip. I always went on all of Mandy's field trips. Lily doesn't want me to come, so I am not going to be there. Somehow that really hurts my feelings. I usually don't have my feelings hurt at all when she says, enough already mom. Even though I want to go, I am staying home. I am not even going to go and volunteer doing my normal Wednesday stuff at the school. I guess I am pouting. Maybe she will see all the other moms there and next time she will want to include me. Or maybe not. I think that for Lily school is something that is all hers and she likes it that way.

However, I am very lucky that Mandy is getting out of school early today and we are spending the morning together. She will most likely want to go to her room and nap. Hopefully she will want to eat lunch with me and go shopping. Kids!

Three Posts in One

I am having trouble adjusting to this new work at home lifestyle. I went from having too much time on my hands to having not enough. Where is the happy medium. I never realized how busy I am being a wife and mother until I lost all the contemplation time I had. I love contemplation time. You might call it watching TV, reading, blogging, gardening, staring out into space thinking of things.

I have been so busy today that here and now at 10:30PM I am drinking wine and writing a blog post instead of going to bed. I have to get up at 10 til 6AM tomorrow and I usually like to have a good bit of sleep. Today I am feeling like I need a good bit of contemplation instead.

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Lily's school thing seems to be working itself out. She loves school. Her teacher works harder than most 20 teachers put together. Lily comes home and works hard on her homework, wanting very much to get it right. Who am I to throw a wrench in the mix. I may have taught Lily to read, but. I taught her the memorization method and at school she is learning phonics. The vocabulary that her teacher uses and uses to test Lily is unfamiliar to Lily. She therefore tested poorly. Everyday she is catching on to this vocabulary and phonics stuff. Knowing how to read most of the words she is sounding out is an advantage. She still has to sound out some words and she understands this concept. I am so excited she is learning at school. I think that the entire school uses this phonics system and so learning it the teacher's way is going to be advantages throughout her elementary education.

I guess I have decided to not talk to the teacher about the difference between my impression of Lily's abilities and the results of her test. Her teacher is very A personality. Like Lily, they should be best friends. The teacher works so hard and everything in the class is just so. They have so much structure and the pace is so fast. It is just right for Lily. It took her awhile to adjust.

Every day Lily comes home and tells me or her stuffed animals about how much she wants to yell at her teacher. Whenever a kid gets in trouble it makes Lily so mad. The teacher has a system of colored tickets, you start on green and if you have to pull a ticket you go down to blue, then yellow, then orange, the red. Red means you have to go to the principal. Lily came home on blue one time. She was blowing in other kid's faces and would not stop when asked. She thought it was funny. Lily had to pull her ticket. Every other day of the entire year she has come home on green. but, that one day, oh boy.

Whenever another child has to pull a ticket I think it reminds Lily of how it felt. She wants to yell at the teacher. Or hit the teacher. Sometimes she tells her stuffed animals about how all the kids should scream at the teacher, you are mean, we don't want to pull our tickets. It hurts our feelings, etc. She will go on and on about this. Daily. I love her never say die attitude. I want to join her on the no pulling tickets picket line. But, I tell her that the teacher is trying to help the kids to remember their manners. I tell Lily how much her teacher likes her and how great it is at school and how she is so lucky to have such a great teacher. She looks at me like I have two heads. I wonder if my propaganda will ever work? I can't believe I am sticking up for the man (teacher is actually a woman) against my own little rebel. On the inside I am with her.

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Lily and I are on the mend. She has been back in school since Monday. I am able to sleep through the night. Jeff came home from work today sick. He is distraught as this is the 3rd time he has been sick in a year. Previously not having been sick three times in his entire life. He says there must be nasty awful bugs and viruses here in Mississippi, I said, you have a young daughter dude. She picks it up and passes it all to us. He said, oh. I thought I would have built up an immunity with all the sickness from Mandy's younger years. Appears not. Joy. Poor Lily has had one thing after another since school began. She handles it well and fights it off, but I don't think she has been completely well in a very long time.

Weird trivia, Lily has never had an antibiotic - military is stingy. Mandy has only had them a couple of times long ago. Weird, huh.

Good at School Bad at Home

The Friday before Gustav, whenever that was, Lily came home with a note from the teacher saying she had been chosen as Star Student of the week for doing a great job. You could have blown me over with a feather. Her teacher and assistant teacher describe my Lily as being sweet and bright.

This same girl gets off the bus everyday with a smile. She gets on the bus with a smile. However, on the short walk from the bus stop to our home she has almost always begun to cry about something. This crying usually continues off and on until she goes to bed.

She seems to be able to behave beautifully at school, but she saves it all up for me. How sweet of her. I do realize this is entirely my fault and the child needs more discipline. I am slowly holding her more and more accountable at home. I cannot tell you how happy I am that she is doing well at school.


Today Lily started asking me questions like, "what would happen if ...."

.... If I run in school?

.... If I yell in school?

.... If I hit the teacher?

I wonder if she is contemplating trying some of her less than favorable behaviors at school. I have no doubt she already has plans to take over the world.

So Ends the Summer

I never got the chance to tell you the story of how swim lessons ended. To recap: Lily took three - two week sessions of swim lessons over the summer. That is a total of six weeks of swim lessons four times per week or 24 lessons. Lily had a blast and loved every minute of it.

At the pool there is a big slide. Lily had wanted to go down the big slide since our adventures in swim lessons last summer. The slide was closed due to damage it sustained in Katrina. However, this summer on the last day of our first session of swim lessons the slide was re-opened and all the kids got to go down the slide. All the kids except the little ones in the mommy and me swim class. Lily was so upset because everyday she had been asking me if she could go down this slide for over a year and now others were going down, but not her.

The second session of swim lessons Lily was now in the level one class and eligible to go down the slide. It is all we talked about for the entire week. One of the mothers told me that the kids would be taken down the slide every Friday. I told Lily and it turns out that was misinformation. The plan was to take the kids down the slide every other Friday, on the last day of a session. So dumb. Lily was again devastated, but her very sweet and cool instructors took her down the slide on that day. Lily was on that day the only child who was given the opportunity to go down the slide. She got a pretty good dunking after flying threw the air and I wasn't sure how much she enjoyed the slide.

The following week was the end of the second session of swim lessons, Lily was in a class eligible for going down the slide, all things were a go. Again she was extremely excited. And everything went well and Lily had a blast. Lily was the only child in level one who went down the slide unassisted. The other children went down on an instructors lap and had their precious head held up above the water so as not to be dunked. Lily asked if she could go down alone and she did. She had a blast even with the dunking and she went down the slide several times.

The next Friday there was no slide and Lily understood. But, the final Friday of swim lessons the weirdest thing occurred. Lily was excited and talked of nothing but the slide. However, when the time came for her to go down the slide, another child was crying. He did not want to go down the slide even on the instructors lap. He was hysterical and he was Lily's friend. His mother said he did not have to go down the slide and he sat over with the moms to watch the kids go down the slide.

The instructors had Lily go first because the other kids were all afraid of the slide. They love Lily because she is always so excited about everything that it sometimes rubs off on the other kids. However, this time it worked the other way. At the top of the slide Lily refused to go down. She even refused to go down on an instructors lap. She said she was afraid. What is that some sort of peer pressure?

They had Lily climb down the ladder and in doing so she somehow managed to rip the toe nail off of one of her toes. It was completely crushed and blood was everywhere. Lily was crying and it took me awhile to figure out what was wrong. I carried her over to the lifeguard office to get a band aide. The lifeguard was more worried about putting on rubber gloves then in handing me a band aide. Once she got her rubber gloves and put them on she opened the most awful and dirty looking first aide kit I had ever seen. Everything was wet, rusty and gross. I scooped up Lily and took her to the car. I was not going to let anything from that first aide kit touch my precious baby.

The swimming pool is only a block from Jeff's work and as luck would have it he works at a hospital. I called and told him we were on the way. I had to park very far away. I couldn't put a shoe on Lily so I had to carry her. It was about 100 degrees and with 90 percent humidity and I was carrying my kid in a steaming parking lot for what felt like miles. We arrived at the hospital and of course there is so much construction I had to walk all the way around the the other side of the hospital and then back through all the halls to find Jeff. We arrived and Jeff had an enormous amount of gauze for Lily's tiny little toe. He did not have a band aide. He also had tweezers that did not look clean for me to remove the hanging bits of toe nail. I decided to just use my fingers and then made him go and get me a regular band aide.

After putting on the band aide I put on her she and she was able to walk. We bought cookies from some fund raiser and then went back to the car. Luckily she is brave enough to walk all that way or I would have passed out from heat exhaustion. As we exited the parking lot we had to drive back by the swim lessons and I decided to stop in to say goodbye to her instructors. Even though it ended badly Lily loved her teachers and they treated her so very well. All the other kids and parents were gone by then but we went and gave hugs and said our goodbyes. And so ended our summer swim lesson fun.

I need a nap

Lily got me up at 5:45 A.M. this morning. Which is good, we are on our way to getting up everyday at 6 A.M. for school. Except that, tonight I have to take Mandy to a bookstore for a release party at midnight. That store is 45 minutes from our house. Of course there aren't any bookstores in my little town, drives me crazy.

I hope I can get a nap in. Mandy thinks we should do our back to school shopping this evening when Jeff gets home. Dinner, shopping, maybe a movie, and then the book party. At least I know I can stay up for 36 hours before my brain stops working. Like when we moved here from Japan, missed our connection from Atlanta to Mississippi. We drove through the night because we were scheduled to close on our house in the morning. And we thought this was a good idea because of our pets. We wanted them to be able to run around in the big back yard as soon as possible instead of living in a cage at a hotel. That was a fun day.

I forgot to mention yesterday that I am not the only one having a bit of trouble with school starting. Lily is being clingy. Which is so weird because she has never been a cuddly person. Now she doesn't want me to be in a different room from her and she actually asks to sit on my lap. Usually I have to give her bribes to get hugs. The other day she actually cried when I went out to pick up Mandy from work and left Lily home with her dad. She has never cared before when I have left.

The two of us are putting on a brave face. She tells me everyday, when she looks at the calendar and counts the days until school starts, "I am so excited about school". Me too, we are both so excited about school.

Jeff who tells me that he is not worried at all, he took all of next week off. Tuesday because that is meet the teacher day from 1:30 - 3:30. He wants to meet the teacher too. Wednesday so he can see her get on the bus for the first time and be there when she gets home. Thursday, well why not because he already took off Tuesday and Wednesday - no reason to go to work just for Thursday. Friday regularly scheduled day off. But he swears he is not worried about her starting school. I guess he and I will be having a second honeymoon next week while the girls are in school.

Last Week of Summer Vacation

I am not worried about how Lily will do at Kindergarten. She is very ready. The past six weeks of swim lessons has showed me that she is able to listen, follow directions, get along with others, speak up for herself, etc. I am also looking forward to having some time to myself. I have tons of plans. I think school is going to be a great thing for both of us.

Except, I have been having nightmares. I dreamt that Lily got off the bus at school and no one was there. She began to cry. She was scared and alone. I wasn’t there for her and didn’t even know she needed me. Now I can’t seem to sleep anymore. I stay up too late. I don’t sleep when I go to bed. Being overly tired is also making me mean and short tempered. I am having a hard time dealing with everything, even though in my head I am certain there is nothing to worry about.

I am supposed to be getting Lily up at 6 A.M. because she gets on the bus at 6:50 A.M. and I want to get her used to getting up at 6 now rather than later. I am so tired at 6 from having stayed up half the night that I have been unable to accomplish this mission. It is so weird too; Lily has gotten up at 6 her entire life. Yet this summer she started sleeping in until 7 or 7:30. Now I have to break that habit. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I will think of that tomorrow.

I thought I would include a video of Lily at swim lessons. Check out her stroke, future Olympian. Ok, so she was swimming in a circle instead of a straight line, she got her little arm out of the water for the stroke. I have tons of swim videos so be nice or I will make you watch them all!

Today Mandy is coming with us to swim lessons and then we are planning to have a picnic and then all of us swim together this afternoon. Maybe we will take Mandy driving. Her permit expires today. I am thinking we are going to need to get a new permit and continue on with the learning portion of driving. It will come, everything happens in its own time. Speaking of Mandy, don’t forget, Friday at Midnight you need to be at your local bookstore for the Breaking Dawn party. Hope to see you there. I will be the one sleeping in the car. Just kidding. TEAM EDWARD! Mandy and I both agree if we were in the story we would pick Jacob over Edward, but for Bella we see that Edward is the only choice. If you have no idea what I am talking about you need to be reading the Stephanie Meyer’s books. And you obviously don’t have a teenaged daughter.

Mama Mia

My night out with the girls started with me arriving at the theater about five minutes before the movie was due to begin. I didn't know any of the other women coming and had no idea what they looked like. As I walked up, in the rain, to the ticket counter I was thinking I should have made a plan of where I would meet up with someone. I bought my ticket and looked around. I didn't see anyone familiar, I didn't see any group of women waiting together. I thought perhaps they would be waiting outside the door to the specific room which was showing Mama Mia.

I went in and no one was standing at the door. I entered the theater and I didn't see anyone that I knew and no one waved to me. I looked around for a bit and didn't really know what to do so I found a seat and sat down. A few minutes later a lady I recognized entered. I think she is the general's wife, but I am not sure. I haven't been very active in the spouses group and I don't go to many functions. I know that she was the highest ranking spouse at a previous function. I cannot remember her name, I am not even sure we were ever introduced. She was standing halfway up the stairs talking to a few ladies, they were all looking for seats and the theater was almost entirely full. There were several people between me and her so I asked the person closest to me if this was the spouses group and he replied: I am not in the spouses group but she is, and pointed to his wife. I think I may have asked the general if he was in the spouses group, don't tell Jeff. So I found my group.

Watched the movie. I was my favorite movie ever. I hate to say that because you know when people tell you a movie is great you have high expectations and then you are inevitably disappointed. I laughed, I cried, it was set in Greece. What more do you want from a movie. If you go, wait during the credits there is a great little bit at the end.

After the movie we went to dinner. While there were many people who went to the movie only four of us went to dinner. Three of the four of us had daughters between the ages of 17 and 22. We could all therefore relate to the movie. All of the other ladies order drinks. I never order a drink if I am driving myself home. I love to drink, but you know, it was night and raining, and a DUI would effect my husband's career. We were there for over 2 hours and so I guess it is OK? What about you, do you have just one drink if you aren't going to drive for a couple of hours. Well not me, so I felt a little left out for a moment. But, quickly recovered.

It was a lovely evening and we all had a great time. Lots of stories and chatting. We have all lived everywhere. We all worry about our girls. We even talked a little about my compost bin. I am trying to figure out how to make one without spending money.

Girlfriend Etiquette

I have accepted an invitation from someone I do not know in my spouses group to attend the Mama Mia movie tonight. It was an open invitation to the whole group, so I am not sure how many will be going. We will be seeing the movie and then going to dinner. This makes three weekends in a row that I have gone to the movie theater while Jeff stays home with Lily. I am on a roll. Usually I am the one staying home because Jeff and Mandy love movies so much.

I am feeling very brave to be meeting up with people I don't know for an outing. I must have gotten a cup full of self esteem from somewhere. Do you have trouble getting up the nerve to go to social functions where you don't know anyone? I think this is one of the things that causes me to have a hard time making friends when we move.

I have made a ton of chatting buddies at the pool during Lily's lessons. I wonder if it is dumb if I ask for and hand out my phone number. A couple of the ladies have girls who are starting kindergarten this year like Lily and they are both the youngest child just like me. They both live near me too. Seems like enough to exchange numbers? I am not good at making girl friends. Do you ask for numbers or do you wait to be asked? Then when you get the number are you a caller or are you a wait to see if they call you type of person? I could get numbers and plan sushi dates while Lily is in school. That sounds like fun. Or find a workout buddy. Not as much fun. Tell me you making new friends secrets?

Fair Skin in Mississippi

The girls and I all have very fair skin. I have had a lot of sunburns in my life and try very hard not to burn my kids skin. We love to be outdoors and especially we love to swim. Yesterday, we forgot one of the cardinal rules of swimming and Lily and I both got sun burns.

This is Lily's first sunburn. I have been doing a good job of keeping her skin safe. Everyday before swim lessons I apply her waterproof sunscreen 30 minutes before she gets in the water. I use SPF 15. When Mandy was a baby the Pediatrician recommended that we always use SPF 15. He said that using a higher number doesn't really offer that much more protection from the sun but does put a lot more chemicals into her blood stream. I only use sunscreen when we are going to be in the direct sun for more than 15 minutes between the hours of 10 A.M. and 2 P.M.

Yesterday, after swim lessons, Lily and I had a picnic lunch and then went back to the pool and swam together for a couple of hours. I forgot to reapply sunscreen to Lily and forgot to put any on me at all. That is so weird, I am always so good about remembering to put on the sunscreen. I don't know what I was thinking.

Our burns are mostly gone this morning. We had so much fun at the pool. Lily is possessed with wanting to learn to swim. She worked very hard re-doing all the things she does at her lessons, over and over again for two hours. I couldn't believe her determination. I had to drag her home kicking and screaming. I really don't like that determination when it is focused on fighting with me, but when it is focused on swimming it is a delight to see.

Lily absolutely refuses to listen to me or allow me to help her be a better swimmer. Her swimming technique is to stand in a vertical position and move her arms and legs in a way that makes her look like she is running under water. By the end of the day she was getting horizontal and moving her arms at least in a way that would propel her toward her goal. It cracks me up that she tries so hard but wont listen to my guidance at all. Not her swim instructor either. At some point our teachings will sink in and Lily will swear that she thought of it on her own. Yesterday, she jumped into the water and swam to the ladder more than 50 times. She didn't want me to touch her at all.

We had so much fun, and we want to go again today. I am worried about the sunburns and wondering if that is such a good idea. Perhaps if we put on sunscreen and keep our time at the pool down to a shorter amount of time. Maybe we should wait until next week. Next week is our last week of summer vacation. All summer I have been taking Lily swimming in our yard because we have a little pool and at the base pool she cannot touch the ground. I thought she would have more fun in the little pool. Turns out she is having more fun in the water over her head at the big pool.

Seems that we have decided to swim today in the noon sun with sunburns. Lily is so very excited. Me too!

Fearless and Friendly

Lily's days of being four are coming to an end. Elementary school here we come. Monday is her birthday. I have been a stay at home mom and Lily has not been away from me very much at all in her life thus far. I have been a little concerned that this would handicap her kindergarten experience, however in the end it has been a wonderful gift for both of us to be able to spend these years together. Now she is more than ready to take the enormous step of independence and venture off on to the school bus to full day kindergarten all on her own. School starts on Aug. 6th here.

Meanwhile, we have been taking swim lessons. We have just completed the third week and we have three more weeks to go and that takes us right up to the week that school starts. School is starting on a Wednesday for some reason. Our first two weeks of swim lessons were in the mommy and me class. They require all kids under the age of five and a half to be in the mommy and me class. Lily was able to demonstrate that she can float on her back and belly and that she is able to hold her breath and put her face in the water, so they promoted her to the next level of swim lessons. We call the class the no-mommy class, but they call it level 1. This past week Lily has been in the pool everyday without her mom. While I was there at the pool I made sure to sit far enough away that I couldn't hear what was going on and gave Lily a little space.

The first few days Lily was a little quiet. While she loved the no-mommy class and excitedly talked of nothing else, she kept to herself for the most part during the lessons. On Friday she was feeling quite confident and her exuberant personality started to be expressed to her teachers and the other kids. That day I ended up sitting very close by her class and was able to hear and see all that was going on. Lily is the best little swimmer in the class. If she only knew what to do with her arms and legs she could be an Olympian. She is not at all afraid of the water and loves to be under water. But, she kicks and moves her arms in ways that are not conducive to going forward. I guess that is what the lessons are for. The other children in the class are a year or so older and most of them do not like the water much at all. They line up at the wall and take turns being helped by the teacher. While waiting at the wall Lily is the life of the party. She is giggling and goofing off with the other boys. Especially this one boy who is quite a bit bigger than her. The two of them were the renegades of the class and even had to be separated. One time the teacher asked the kids to raise their hands if they were listening. Lily and her little friend where the only ones to not raise their hands. While she is technically there at swim lessons to learn to swim, I can't help but be glad she is having the chance to work on her social skills. She appears to have an instinct for socialization and my kindergarten concerns are lessened by the fact that she was able to be comfortable with the teachers and kids in swim lessons in less than a week. Yeah, Lily.

There is an enormous slide at this pool. Last summer and so far this summer the slide was closed for repairs. Last week all the kids got to go down the slide on Friday, in celebration for passing their two week swim lesson session. All the kids except for the little ones in the Mommy and me class. We were then in the mommy and me class and Lily was so upset that everyone got to go down the slide except her. Another mom told me earlier this week that they go down the slide every Friday. I passed this information on to Lily and now that this week she was in the no-mommy class she was so excited that on Friday she would be allowed to go down the slide. This is all she talked about. As the lesson was coming to an end, I noticed that none of the kids in any of the classes were going to the slide. No one was talking about it, no one was lining up. As the clock ticked slowly toward 11:15 I got a knot in my stomach. I knew that there was not going to be sliding at the end of today's lesson. I felt horrid for telling Lily she would be able to go down the slide without having asked the teacher. I knew she was going to be upset.

When 11:15 finally came and the teachers said it was time to go home, Lily climbed up the ladder out of the pool very quickly, stood at the side of the pool and dissolved into tears. She was not throwing a fit so much as crushed. I wrapped her up in the towel and told her how sorry I was. The instructors were beside themselves worried about Lily. What is the matter? I can imagine this extreme change from the laughing, goofing off, life loving girl that they had seen all week to this devastated sobbing girl was a shock. They had no idea what was wrong, did she lose a limb climbing out of the pool? I explained the situation and apologized to Lily again. We all told her next Friday she would get to go down the slide. Her crying was ebbing a little, but she was still ever so sad.

All of a sudden her two instructors decided they would take Lily on the slide. One of them took her to the deep end and helped her climb the stairs to the top of the enormous slide. Usually little kids are not allowed on the slide. You have to be able to swim the length of the pool unassisted to be allowed to use the slide during regular pool hours. But, if you are in swim lessons on every other Friday (I thought it was every Friday) they help the little ones use the slide. Today Lily was the only kid in swim lessons who got go down the slide. She flew out the end of the slide, she was suspended in air for several beats and then went into and under the water. The teacher helped her up and to the side of the pool. I met her there with a towel and thanked then many times. I think it was a little more than Lily expected as she was pretty quiet.

I guess Lily has made an impression on her teachers for them to go to such lengths for her. It was so sweet. Funny too, that they spend the entire lesson trying to get other kids to jump into the water or put their face in the water and here is Lily wanting to fly out the end of the slide into the deep end of the pool. She has wanted to go down that slide since last summer when she first saw it. So wish fulfilled. And Mommy feels so much better about kindergarten knowing that she seems to be doing well interacting with her peers and teachers without my interference. I wonder how she is going to feel about the slide next Friday, will she still want to do it now that she knows?

My 4th of July weekend summary

We had a most excellent fourth. We had some people over and a bbq. The food was good the company was excellent.

The men were playing poker by the time dark came. We had some options for our fireworks viewing pleasure. We could drive downtown to see the show, we could walk to the beach near my house and perhaps see the show from there, or we could sit in the backyard and listen to the show. We opted for the walk to the beach near my house.

It was dark, and there aren't any street lights. I hooked us up with a few flashlights and we were off. Lily insisted on coming even though it was past her bedtime and she was already pretty cranky. People were fearful of walking that far with a cranky little one. They all thought I was going to have to carry her. I don't carry Lily. Jeff and the other boys decided to continue to play poker and not see any fireworks.

Lily opted to run the entire way there to the beach. I had trouble keeping up with her. I kept having to ask her to stop and wait for the others (and for me to catch my breath). We got to the beach and it was a wonderful view of all the fireworks shows that were happening in our area. We could see two differnent towns and several casinos shows. All in the distance with another show right there at the beach where we were. Lily doesn't really like noise, but she survivied. I had a most excellent time. We walked back home and by then from the sultry night we were all soaked with sweat. I was impressed with how well Lily behaved.

The boys finished up their poker and everyone went home around 11PM. I usually join them in the poker but this time I wanted to visit with the ladies. It is weird that none of the other ladies like poker. I love beating them. Not long ago we played in a tournament and had proffessional poker players (people who have played at the cassinos). And I took out two of them in one had. It was great. Jeff ended up winning the tournament but I paved the way for him.

Saturday we (Jeff, Lily and I) were bored by 5PM. We had spent the day hanging out. Our house is clean, our yard is mowed, we spent all our money on having our house painted, buying a new car and buying a security system for the house. What to do. Jeff wanted to go out to dinner. I thought it might be more prudent to walk across the big new bridge (2 miles). We decided to do the walk, it was still pretty warm when we went at 5PM. The bridge is an enormous hill up and down. Lily and Jeff jogged for awhile. I walked. They waited for me. On the way back Lily was very hot and cranky. She no longer wanted to walk.

First we sat down and watched all the boats for awhile, then we tried to get her to walk again. She was not happy. Then she got this great idea to walk backwards. So I walked backwards with her. She laughed and smiled, no longer cranky. We held hands and tried to jog backwards. It was hillarious. Jeff took off and walked quite a ways in front of us. Poor Jeff, he is not the backwards walking type of person. Some of the people we backwards almost walked into were shitty and didn't move over for us. I guess we were backward walking on the wrong side of the walking path. People actually tripped over Lily, I would shimmy behind her real fast so they would hit me and not her. Jeff was shaking his head. At least Lily didn't whine the rest of the way instead she was giggling and having a good time. I don't know how Jeff puts up with us.

You Can Do This

I woke up this morning at 4 a.m. to a crying Lily. I went to see what was the matter and she was sleeping on the floor between her kitchen and table. A tiny little area just big enough for her. I asked her what was wrong and why was she sleeping on the ground, she told me that she had left her babies in the living room last night.

I convinced her to get in the bed and tucked her in, I left her room and went back to bed. She was crying again within minutes. I am really a very lucky mom, because Lily has been sleeping through the night since she was about three months old and only rarely wakes me up in the middle of the night. I feel like it must be important, there must be something wrong for her to have woken me up in the middle of the night. I went back in her room and snuggled up next to her in the bed. After a bit of chit chat I realized that I was coming down with a cold.

I wonder if Lily is too and that is the cause of her waking me up. She doesn't sound sick but you never know. I got up and took some cold medicine and went back to sleep with Lily. I finally had to roll over and sleep with my back to her because she could not stop talking. And then she went to sleep. I got to be a little uncomfortable in my hanging off the side of the bed position and snuck back into my bed a little after six.

Lily didn't wake up until nearly 9 a.m. Which is unusual for her as she normally gets up between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. I am working toward getting her used to getting up at 6 a.m. because that is what time she will need to be getting up when school starts. School is early around here. Lily was so worried when she got up. She cried for an entire hour. She hates having her schedule disrupted.

We normally start getting ready to leave the house at 8:45 a.m. Today we were just waking up and needed to do breakfast in addition to getting on our swim suits and sunscreen. We don't leave the house until 9:45 a.m. but we are slow and need a lot of wiggle room. This morning Lily was just over the top worried, she couldn't go to the bathroom or eat breakfast because we were late. It all dissolved into madness. I finally had to send her to her room to cry it out while I showered and I tried again later for the breakfast. It was such a struggle. Again I wonder if she is getting sick. There was just so much crying.

We finally got fed, suited and lotioned. We were ready to go with 15 minutes to spare. Enough time for me to water my flowers. Lily settled down and we were off to swim lessons. I could really feel the congestion in my chest while in the garage getting into the car.

When we got to swim lessons our teacher explained that Lily was ready to go to the next level, that she was far more advanced than most of the kids in the next level class. The reason they hadn't as of yet advanced Lily is due to the fact that they are short a teacher. Anyways, that is exciting because that means Lily will be able to have swim lessons without me in the water. A little tiny step away from her mom. We went on to have our class and I swear Lily learned to swim over the weekend. She is back floating on her own and now belly floating with her head in the water. She can jump off my leg and go down under the water and then get herself up to the top of the water to get her breath on her own. She is so unafraid, just needs some guidance on what to do with her arms and legs. Too bad the girl cannot listen.

She is still a bit fussy and I am still a bit sick. Hope it gets better and not worse. But, the day is shaping up better than I expected. While making coffee this morning after unsuccessfully getting Lily to stop screaming for about an hour, I was having to tell myself, you can do this, you can do this. And I did, amazed even myself.

Swim Lessons

Lily and I are going swim lessons this summer, a mommy and me class. It is four days per week for six weeks in an outdoor pool. I am hoping to lose some on my neon white glow. We use sunscreen but 24 hours in the sun is going to have to make some sort of mark on my skin. Or not.

Lily is doing great. Yesterday was lesson two and she actually floated on her back by herself. She loves the water as much as I do and we two are having a blast. I am having so much fun with Lily this summer. In the back of my head I am feeling the ever present thought of her leaving me for kindergarten in just a couple of short months. Five years of 24/7 and poof in a couple of months we will be separated for hours and hours every day. Who thought of this school thing anyways?