Girlfriend Etiquette

I have accepted an invitation from someone I do not know in my spouses group to attend the Mama Mia movie tonight. It was an open invitation to the whole group, so I am not sure how many will be going. We will be seeing the movie and then going to dinner. This makes three weekends in a row that I have gone to the movie theater while Jeff stays home with Lily. I am on a roll. Usually I am the one staying home because Jeff and Mandy love movies so much.

I am feeling very brave to be meeting up with people I don't know for an outing. I must have gotten a cup full of self esteem from somewhere. Do you have trouble getting up the nerve to go to social functions where you don't know anyone? I think this is one of the things that causes me to have a hard time making friends when we move.

I have made a ton of chatting buddies at the pool during Lily's lessons. I wonder if it is dumb if I ask for and hand out my phone number. A couple of the ladies have girls who are starting kindergarten this year like Lily and they are both the youngest child just like me. They both live near me too. Seems like enough to exchange numbers? I am not good at making girl friends. Do you ask for numbers or do you wait to be asked? Then when you get the number are you a caller or are you a wait to see if they call you type of person? I could get numbers and plan sushi dates while Lily is in school. That sounds like fun. Or find a workout buddy. Not as much fun. Tell me you making new friends secrets?

Rude Texting

Not long ago I offered to drive a young lady and her two small children around town in order to buy a new car. She worked in Jeff's office (Air Force). Jeff was busy that day, I can't remember what he was doing. Her sponsor, a person assigned to help you out when you are reasigned to a new base, was also busy. I drove her around for more than two hours. The entire time she did not speak to me except to answer direct questions. Otherwise she was texting.

I felt rather unapreciated. I believe in Karma and in the military we move a lot and depend on the kindness of others. It was my turn to be kind. Many have been kind to me. But, she didn't even have a polite conversation with me. I wonder what her mom would say. My husband is her boss's boss so perhaps she just didn't know what to say. Two hours sitting next to me in a car going from one used car lot to the next and she did not have a thing to say to me. She was very young, closer to Mandy's age (16) than mine (38). Have you ever experienced this phenomenia? Busy Mom's post, Teen Texting Time inspired this post.

I wonder if Mandy is ever this rude. She also has unlimited text messaging. She doesn't tend to talk to me while we are driving in the car. She does tend to text her friends while I am driving her to work, or to the movies. I wonder why this never struck me as rude. Maybe we need to have a conversation.

Steak for Dinner

I am the most socially awkward person alive. Jeff says I have issues. I am either too chatty and dominate the conversation or too quiet and wallflowery. I have not been able to find a happy medium. The hardest part of moving around so much for me is finding new friends. I bit the bullet this past week and went to a military spouses club function. It was excruciating, the making small talk, the standing alone not knowing what to do with my hands, the trying to remember to ask questions and not to dominate the conversations, trying to remember to take advice and not be a know it all. Does anyone else feel the urge to suppress themselves in order to make friends? I did ok, we will see. I signed up to join all the various monthly activities that are being held by our club. Things like a playgroup, bunko, bowling...I am going to be very busy if I do all this stuff every month. I guess that is the point. I am going to try very hard to go against my love of being a hermit and to put myself out there in an earnest attempt to enjoy this assignment to its fullest. Even if it kills me.

While at the function I won a $25 dinner gift certificate to Logan's Roadhouse. Jeff, Lily and I went there for dinner last night. Mandy was tired from work and opted out. It was by far the best dinner of my life. It was so good. I realized that I have not had a steak dinner at a steak house since my honeymoon almost seven years ago. OMG. I am still full at 10AM this morning, but it was worth it.

As I type the words "this morning" I am reminded of Lily's latest verbiage, "last morning." I have never heard anyone use this expression before but it seems that she uses it in almost every conversation. I have heard, "Last night, I had steak for dinner." I have heard, "The other day, I took my final." I have heard, "yesterday morning we had pancakes for breakfast." But, I have never heard, "Last morning we went swimming at swimming lessons." Not until Lily made it up. So I am asking that you all adopt this verbiage, last morning, then I won't have to correct Lily. Please try to incorporate it into your conversations today....

Black Water -The Doobie Brothers

Old black water, keep on rolling
Mississippi Moon wont ya Keep on shinning on me?

We were listening to the radio and the song, began to play on the radio just as we were driving past the sign WELCOME TO MISSISSIPPI. We all sang along. We hadn’t planned on driving into Mississippi, but we missed our connection in Atlanta. We were put on stand by to get onto the next flight into Gulf Port, Mississippi but we did not make it on the plane. Our pets and luggage however did make it on the plane without us. They put us on standby for the next flight leaving four hours later. We had already been traveling at this point for 26 hours. Not a lot of sleep happened during this period. So we opted to rent a car instead of waiting four hours to be told we wouldn’t be on the next plane either. We schlepped ourselves to the car rental place, paid a small fortune and rented the coolest car, don’t have any idea what it is but it is smoking hot.

The drive from Atlanta to Biloxi is supposed to take about six hours. However, our sleep depravation caused us to have to stop a lot and switch drivers. The one not driving would sleep like the dead the one driving started to drift off a bit. When we finally made it to Mississippi we were all awake and feeling quite a rush of excitement at entering our new home state. Mandy had to use the restroom and we could not find a single gas station open at 2 a.m. I did however know where the Wal-Mart is located and so we all took a potty break at the local Wal-Mart at 2 a.m. with our two kids. We of course hadn’t really slept in 33 hours, hadn’t showered or brushed our teeth, what they must think of us. We decided as long as we were there we might as well pick up a few things. $70 later we were back at the car. We decided as long as we are near our new home we can do a drive by. We pulled in the driveway and looked at our pretty new house, it was 2:30 am by now. Then we decided to drive past Mandy’s new school and finally we found our hotel. Lucky for us Jeff’s new boss went to the airport for us and picked up the animals and our luggage and dropped it off at our hotel for us. So at 3:30 a.m. we had arrived at our hotel and so had our pets. We fought for the rights for the first shower. I lost and had to take the dog for a walk.

By the time we had unpacked our suitcases enough to find some clothes and our soap and toothbrushes, and we had all showered and ate it was 5 am. Jeff and Mandy had to go to the airport because we were missing one bag, one of Mandy’s bags and the airport opened at 5. I got Lily cleaned up and I got the cat and dog bedding all cleaned up and the litter box all set up etc. By that time it was 6:30 and Jeff had to go into work to sign in and Mandy and Lily were watching TV and I laid my head on the pillow and rested for about an hour. This was now about 40 hours into our trip. We then had to get going to our final inspection of the house and then to the closing.

After we closed on the house it was around 11 and getting pretty close to the 48 hour mark in our journey. Of course I had rested my eyes for an hour or a moment here and there but not really all that much. At least I had showered. Anyways we decided to try and register Mandy for school. Next week is their spring break and today is the last day they would allow us to register before the break. I thought it might be nice for Mandy to have her school book over the break so she could figure out what is what. They gave me a huge packed of paper work to fill out and it was so difficult to get my brain to function well enough to remember Mandy’s name, age birth date etc. I was hilarious, what a spectacle to see me at almost 48 hours try to concentrate enough to register Mandy for school. They gave us a list of items we needed to get like a health certification of her shot records from the health department. She gave me directions to the health department and it made sense at the time however, that was before all the paperwork and when I arrived at the car I had a hard time remembering the directions. Then when we finally found the health department they wanted three phone numbers of people who could verify our identities. I am sure you know at least three phone numbers but I know zero phone numbers off the top of my head. How often do I call people in America? I could give you 100 email addresses off the top of my head but no phone numbers. It was a half an hours drive back to the hotel to get the numbers. So we worked very hard and “remembered” 3 phone numbers. Then we looked at the list and they needed some other documents that required us to actually and really drive all the way back to the hotel and then back to the school. Half an hour each direction. We had to do it right away or they wouldn’t allow her to register for two weeks because of spring break and something else I really can’t remember it all. Brain was fried. I somehow convinced Jeff who doesn’t really know his way around yet to go back to the school and Lily and I stayed here and went to bed. Of course I had to walk the dog, feed the Lily, and update my blog first priorities people.

Jeff and Mandy came home and we all slept like the dead for 8 solid hours. We were then hungry so we went back to Walmart this time at about 11pm, with our three year old. Took the dog for a walk, ate and no one would let me on my new lap top computer which I begged and pleaded to buy. My early birthday and early Christmas present. I had to wait until they all went back to bed to get a chance to play.

So, now I am back to bed it is almost 2 am, I am going to sleep until 7 and tomorrow we are going to rescue our car which has been in storage for four years.

Four More Days

We have four days until we leave. We are in the process of saying goodbye to people and places. Mostly we are hanging out in the hotel room. All very melancholy. It is hard to be around the people and places we love and will most likely never see again. It seems like it would be nice to be around it one last time, but it isn't very appealing right now.

We are having all kinds of things go wrong. Little frustrations to keep us busy I guess. And I keep buying things like food. Everyday I brings bags and bags of things into the hotel, like I am stocking up for winter. Trying to get rid of things, but it isn't going well instead I am accumulating things. Must be the part of my brain that hasn't yet accepted the fact that we are leaving.

from hello to goodbye

Today marks the 4Th anniversary of our arrival in Misawa, Japan. It was an arduous journey here. We left Italy, had a stop over in Portugal. This being a military contracted flight we all had to get off the plane and wait while the plane is refueled and inspected. We were on the bus to get back onto the plane and continue our journey to America when the bus was stopped and we were told to remain seated. We could see the plane, but had to sit on the bus for about an hour. This was in February 2003, most of the people who were on the bus and on the plane were coming home from the Persian Gulf. This was before we invaded Iraq, did you know that the Air Force has had people deployed to the Gulf since 1991, people have been having to serve in this area and have been shot at and away from family for 16 years. Anyways, most of the people on the plane were Air Force people's returning from their tour in the gulf. While deployed in the Gulf you are not allowed to drink any alcohol at all, even when you are not on duty. There were a bunch of young men on our bus, sitting looking at the plane, and they had managed to acquire a suitcase full of little liquor bottles and began to pass the liquor around our bus. I guess we decided to have a good time on the bus. Too bad I was 20 weeks pregnant with Little Miss Lily, who we were sure was a Howard Eugene at the time. Turns out that one of the women who was in Saudi was also pregnant and this being the reason for her return from the Gulf, she was very sick and they were seeing if she had to be evacuated from the plane or if she could continue on the journey to America. Evacuation would mean that all the plane's luggage would have to be removed, hers found and then everyone else's reloaded. Hours. So the doctors gave her an iv of liquid and she was able to continue on with the flight.

Our plane was scheduled to land in Washington DC in the morning. However, the airport was fogged in. Our plane was redirected to Pittsburgh, however, there weren't any customs officials working in Pittsburgh at the time so we were not allowed to get off the plane. This was a plane that came from an American military base in Italy and then in Portugal. Filled with military and family only, still we could not get off the plane without being cleared through customs. So the plane was refueled and we left Pittsburgh to circle Washington until the fog cleared or we ran out of gas. When we finally landed, our connecting flight to South Carolina had already taken off. We were told the next flight was in several hours and then we wouldn't be able to connect to Roanoke until the next day. We decided to rent a van and drive to Roanoke instead.

We arrived in Roanoke and had a lovely visit with the family. The motel we had booked off the Internet which allowed pets (we were traveling with our precious Daisy the cat from hell). Our motel room reeked of cigarette smoke and me being preggers this caused my all day sickness to increase and I had several lovely sessions with the toilet. We spent a week or so visiting with Jeff's family and we were then off to visit my brother in Salt Lake City. Of course our plane was delayed. We arrived in our connecting city Philadelphia with the cat and with no flights into Salt Lake City until the next day. We found a hotel that would allow us to have a cat, bought a new cat box and some litter and spent the night. Actually the hotel was lovely and we even had a lovely dinner. We made our way to Salt Lake City the next day and had a lovely few days visiting my brother and his family. I hadn't seen them in years. Hadn't even met his daughter who was about four at the time and hadn't seen his son since he was a tiny baby. So that was lovely, except they are smokers and that made me so so sick.

Next stop was Seattle. We stayed there a few days. We had to find a veterinarian to certify our cat was still not sick as we were in the States for more than two weeks and our current certification expired after two weeks. This cost of about $100 for the vet to look at our cat for about 5 seconds. So fun. Then began our flight to Japan. This was another military flight, we had to stop at several bases in Japan before arriving in Misawa. We had to get off the plane, sit around for hours and get back on the plane. The whole trip took more than 24 hours. We arrived in Japan our new home, got off the plane and it was raining.

Jeff's workmates met us at the airport, and helped us get our stuff and our cat to billeting (military for hotel). By then the rain had turned to snow. We should have been ready for an 8 day sleep in but after taking showers we felt a bit hungry and were ready to sample some fine Japanese cuisine. We called a taxi and asked to be taken to a Japanese restaurant. Our taxi driver did not speak a word of English and took us instead to the Japanese police department. We finally convinced him to take us to a restaurant by miming eating and chewing. Very American. This is how we discovered the New Miayki, our favorite restaurant in Misawa. We eat there every year to commemorate our anniversary. It also snowed 19 inches that night, and has snowed around that much every year on our anniversary since our arrival. This winter it hasn't really snowed all that much at all, which is very weird, since it usually snows at least 100 inches every winter, this winter I think we have had less than 20 inches. So I wonder if we will get our annual big snow? Still tonight we dine at our lovely New Miayki which by the way is a Chinese restaurant, I usually get the sweet and sour chicken.

Sweet Sixteen

Mandy turned sweet sixteen last week. Many people have asked me about how she is doing in regards to our move. Mandy has been in six different schools so far in her life and she is about to move to another one, her last. This time she will be moving to a school that is not a military school filled with kids who move all the time just like her. This time she has been in the same school for four years, here they have junior high and high school together in the same building.

The moving is hard on all of us. The process, the leaving, the uncertainty, we are all a bit out of sorts and scared. We have moved many times. We have traveled all over the world and I think being in the middle of China or Kenya is gives me the same type of feeling of freaking out that moving gives me. So, I would have to say that Mandy is struggling but she will be OK. Many people tell me they would never do this to their child and I understand. It breaks my heart to see her struggle. It also breaks my heart when they are sick or have to get shots.

Perhaps I have just justified it all in my head, but I believe that this life we have given to Mandy is helping to prepare her for adulthood. I believe that learning to get through difficult times is a great skill to have and that will help her in life much more than having the safety and security of a constant house and school and friends. I believe high school is hard for everyone. This move will give Mandy the opportunity to start over. To make new friends, hopefully. We have talked a lot about how to make friends, about how to put yourself out there, about how to handle the rejection. We have talked a lot about the fact that she is an excellent student and if it is just an awful situation we can home school her through the rest of what she needs and she can begin taking some community college classes.

I believe that we have a strong family and we depend on each other through these difficult times. We all deal with the stress in different ways and we are all having a hard time right now. The leaving is the hardest part. When you get to a new place it is all sunshine and roses, but the saying goodbye to everything you know and love, that sucks. So Mandy is having a hard time, and I think that it is OK. I think that the moves and the travel has prepared her for life better than if we always lived in the same place. I believe she has learned how to deal with difficult situations and she will never be the type of person who stays in an abusive marriage or continues in a horrid job just because she is afraid of change. I believe we have taught her that she has the ability to shape the world in which she lives, she chooses if she is happy or sad, she chooses her circumstances and she is not a victim of the world, poor me. To me this is one of the most important gifts I can give to her. I don't think that high school is all sunshine and roses for her right now as it wasn't for me, so I don't think that moving is taking her away from some idyllic happiness and forcing her into a world of gloom and despair. The process of moving is very difficult but I believe in the end it will be worth it.

My 20th high school reunion is this summer and now Mandy will have a school where she can graduate from and attend reunions. Not that I have gone to a single reunion but still the option is there she will be reintegrated into America after living overseas for almost 7 years.

The new me

I haven't been blogging much lately. I have been going crazy instead. No one wants to read about that, how does the saying go? When you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Here is my humble attempt to find something nice to say in the mist of the chaos in my head.

We had the movers come to the house today for an inspection. We have our date for picking up the "big" shipment confirmed for January 22nd. It will take 60-70 days for our stuff to get to Mississippi and so it should arrive before or shortly after we do. We will have a second, "small" shipment right before we leave and those items won't get to Mississippi until a couple of months after we do. This gives me about two weeks to sort through everything we own. Give away what we no longer need. Separate "big" shipment items from "small" shipment items and of course the items we will be carrying on our back from here to there. I love going through the closets, it is a time for seeing all the things that I keep because they are so special, but put away because they have no function. Pictures, mementos from trips, pressed flowers, old journals, letters, baby books, the memories are wonderful. Too bad I am finishing up two classes and have papers, computer programs, final exams, all happening now when I need to be sorting through all the stuff.

I have found that keeping busy is helpful. (Not really, but I am trying to stay positive) Jeff is doing a scavenger hunt this weekend. He went snow shoeing last weekend. He is going to Tokyo with Mandy next week to see Sumo wrestlers. He is really getting the most out of his final months in Japan. Yippee for him. He is lucky that he is so handsome and sweet or I might accidentally poke him in the eye while he is peacefully sleeping.

I am really looking forward to my trip to America. To getting away from all those people I adore. We made a mistake on the dates and didn't catch it until too late and now instead of going for a week I am going for almost two weeks, darn! Jeff's boss's boss has invited me to stay in her guest room, for free, and our realtor will be driving me around, no car rental, and that is saving us about $1000. Which is nice because traveling from here to there is very expensive, even at this time of year with all the discounts, there are still all the trains and buses to consider just getting from my house to the main airport of Japan. It is all paid for and the tickets are due to arrive here soon, yeah!

I am so excited to be looking through houses and finding just the right one for the next 5 or 6 years, or maybe more you never know.

Every time I move I feel like I am leaving behind all the things I don't like about myself. Starting over with a clean slate in a new place. With every move I actually do redefine myself a bit, some of my bad habits rear their ugly head, but I have grown so much and learned so much with every move. I enjoy coming to a new place and making new friends and being the new me.

When I moved to Japan I wanted to share all my experiences from traveling around the world with people. I thought my pictures and stories were so very interesting. I thought that it was important to invite people into my home when they first move here and show them everything I have learned about Japan. But, I was instead just a big fat know it all. Here I learned to only give advice when asked. People like to figure it out on their own. It is a subservient position to have to listen to someone else tell you how it is and people don't really like that. So with this move I am going to work on being a good friend. I am working on being the type of person who listens more than speaks. The type of person who makes others feel special and therefore others want to be around. This is a complete and total change from the know it all person I have always been. It will be interesting. Let others be the expert, I am the student.

See I was able to find a way to finish this post on a positive note.

White Christmas

This is our last chance for a white Christmas for awhile. Here's hoping.

Most years we miss our families so much on Christmas that we try to find other lonely people and have a big family type Christmas with friends. We go to a lot of trouble to turn virtual strangers into family. This being our last Christmas abroad, and all of us being busy with school, and a bit intimidated by the move, we are having a quiet Christmas.

We did the work party. Other than that we are keeping it simple. Jeff and Mandy are both off the week of Christmas. We have decided that on Christmas day we will open presents, and then have a nice breakfast, and then just hang out the rest of the day. Watch TV, take naps, take turns playing with Lily, play with our presents, and then have a nice dinner. Just us. It always bothers me to be all on our own at Christmas, but this year it is like saying goodbye to an old friend, the family-free Christmas.

During the rest of the week we have decided to be on vacation at home. Very casual and leisurely however, we are going to try to do one small family event per day. Bowling, swimming, ice skating, arcade, jumpy castle - I have tons of ideas hopefully we can come to a consensus, or whatever I will force all this family fun on them.

I still have a ton of wrapping to do, batteries to buy, stocking stuffers too. But, for the most part we are ready. Except for the banana pudding, must get vanilla wafers. Merry Christmas.

Now tell me all about your plans.

Orders

We actually got our orders to go to Mississippi. There have been scads of rumors and such that all PCS's have been canceled due to a lack of funds, however, we are moving and that is that.

Having orders this early is a luxury. It gives us the opportunity to plan a smooth move. It takes quite a little bit of time for our belonging to be shipped from Misawa, Japan to the gulf coast of Mississippi. We have decided that we will ship the stuff early hoping it will be there and waiting for us when we arrive. We also have a car that has been in storage somewhere in America, a car we bought in Italy, we need to arrange to have it shipped to Mississippi and since it has been in storage for four years, we are thinking it will need a super-tune-up. It would be nice to have most of this arranged and taken care of so when we get off the plane, we have a house, a car, and all our stuff.

I am thinking this will help the girls, if the is less of a transitory time period. This decision means that the last couple of months here in Japan we will be without most of our stuff. We do get a second shipment, but this second shipment is of limited space, where we can ship the computer, some dishes, some sheets and blankets. And then we can also mail some things, and the rest we must carry ourselves. From Italy to Japan we carried a lot. As much as was legally permitted, two large suitcases, two large carry-ons, per person, and the cat. Now we have little little which means even more suitcases allowed. But, I have learned my lesson, less is more. I believe what I will be carrying is a toothbrush and a change of underwear. Plus, now we have a dog and a cat.

There used to be a plane that came here to the base and took us to America, due to budget cuts the plane no longer stops in Misawa. This means that we have to drag the kids, the animals, and all of that which we decided to carry with us from Misawa to Tokyo. The problem is that the airplane takes you from here to a domestic airport which is on the other side of Tokyo (1 1/2 hours drive) from the international airport. They do not allow animals on the shuttle bus between airports. There is a train one can take from Misawa and with three switched arrive at the international airport (Narita) however, they do not allow animals on the trains and there are many stairs. This is how we traveled one time on our trip to Alaska, it was hard with a lot of stuff. There isn't really any place to put your stuff on the train, and hey they don't allow pets. So what do we do?

It will be interesting to see how we get our pets to America. Most people are leaving messages on the bulletin boards around base, free pet to good home. We made the decision to keep our pets and to endure all the hell this decision will inure. I do think however, this will definitely mean that we wont be taking lots of suitcases with us on our move. We will arrive in Mississippi with the shirts on our backs and our two kids, our two pets and a smile.

moving

Thanks for all the great advice. You have given me a lot to think about. I am surprised by how many of you said not to worry about the flooding. I am totally creeped out by the thought of living in a house that had been underwater, all that yucky toxic waste floodwater coursing through the walls and in the soil of the yard that my child plays in or that I grow veggies in. Disgusting. The more I think about it the more important it seems to me that I don't live in a house that was under water during Katrina or during any other hurricane. My understanding is they get a lot of bad storms in the fall.

Our plan is to buy, there are a lot of great reasons not to buy, and buying may not be the wisest thing we have ever done, still we are determined. Unless we absolutely cannot find a livable house, we plan to buy. There is great brand new base housing, because it was all completely leveled by the hurricane. There are a lot of really great houses to rent. Still we are going to buy. Hopefully it will turn out to be an good investment and help us save for our future home in Roanoke. But, even if it turns out to not be a moneymaker, at least we will be able to live in our own home, paint the walls, rip out the carpet, etc. With all of our animals and kids we want to be able to get off the plane and drive to our house. That is the goal. Hopefully we can make it come true. If not we have other options, so it isn't life and death. Still we are going to try to realize our dream.

My parents totally agree with y'all about renting for awhile. So everyone can tell us a great big I told you so when we end up making a poor decision. But, remember I have animals and kids who are not easy on rental properties. Plus, the lovely military moves all of our belongings, one time - If I decide to move say from a rental to a house in a year we would have to pay for that move ourselves. Who is to say the perfect house wont come up for sale while I am looking and we will find it and it will be ready right when we need it? It is possible. So we are going to try to do everything in our power to make it happen. If not, we will live on base or something.

About the traffic, many of the bridges and major highways were destroyed by Katrina so the traffic is bad right now. This is the reason that living on the outskirts of town is such a long commute. With everyone on the same road at the same time it is a cluster. Maybe someday the roads and bridges will get repaired and living in the country will be less of a commute.

I still think y'all are crazy to say not to worry about flooding, I don't think I could live in a house that was soaked in 10 feet of sludge, no matter how much bleach was used to clean it. Yucky! And what about my veggie garden? I was hoping to save some money by growing veggies as that is pretty much all Lily eats, we pay a fortune in potatoes, carrots, onions, celery, bell peppers. I was hoping to grow all that.

Alaska

Jeff sent me an email today in which he inquires what I think of him applying for a job in Alaska. I have just got my mind wrapped around going to LA or Mississippi, now he want to apply for a different job and make me wait some more. Sometimes people in the military don't know where they are moving until a few weeks before they move.

Jeff, Mandy and I have all been having wild and crazy dreams. Perhaps the stress of the wait. We sit around the dinner table and compare our dreams. I guess it is nice to know we are all going through the same thing at the same time. Mandy looks at Lily and says, she has no idea, no idea her world is about to be turned upside down. Poor Lily, she was born here, this will be her first move. My Lily queen of the fit, I can only imagine what moving is going to do to her disposition.

Lily still sleeps in the crib. She is happy there. She doesn't climb out. Her crib converts to a toddler bed and then eventually to a double bed. We are debating if we should introduce her to sleeping in a bed now or just wait until we move. I really don't want to do the bed yet, we have enough problems with Lily I am not ready to fight with her at bedtime. However, I wonder if it will be slightly easier on her moving if she is already used to sleeping in a bed?

Pumpkins

I bought a couple of pumpkins for us to carve several weeks ago. We have to buy them when they come to the store, because that is really the only opportunity one has to get a pumpkin in Japan. Our two little pumpkins sat on the front porch for a couple of weeks. We were waiting until closer to Halloween to actually carve them.

One morning about a week ago I noticed that there were no longer two pumpkins on the front porch only one. I was incredibly distraught that one of our pumpkins had been stolen. For the next week, every one I encountered I told the story of my poor stolen pumpkin.

Walking to the playground with Lily,
my neighbor says: good morning, how are you today?
I say: My pumpkin was stolen.

My friend calls me on the phone,
friend: Hi Marsha, how are you doing?
me: My pumpkin was stolen.

A neighbor boy comes to the door,
neighbor boy: Do you have any old newspapers I can borrow?
me: My pumpkin was stolen.

You get the idea, this was all I talked about for days. I was the biggest baby. Yesterday, I noticed that there is now two pumpkins on my porch again. I cannot tell if this is my original pumpkin or a new one. They all look alike to me. I don't know if one of my friends or neighbors felt sorry for me and bought me a replacement or if the evil pumpkin theif, was actually just borrowing my pumpkin? I wonder if I owe someone a thank you? I think I owe everyone a bit of an apology for being such a cry baby. Still, My pumpkin was stolen - right off my porch.

You have to try Pandora Internet Radio.

Choices

Yesterday we traveled to Morioka Zoological Park, about two hours from our house. The trip was lovely, through the rolling hills, farms, and mountains. The zoo was nice as well. Lily was even well behaved the entire day, shocking. It was nice to spend time together. At home we tend to do our own thing, but stuck together for the entire day we interact a bit more. I like my family and the interaction is just what we all needed. The next few months are going to be so busy, and we each have our own things we have going, so once in awhile to be stuck together in a small vehicle for several hours is nice.

I think that we have all been ruined for life for the whole zoo experience. After what we saw in Kenya, it is hard to see elephants in captivity, very hard. To read the story of the baby elephant in Kenya click here.

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Mississippi vs. California is a hard choice. Do we get a choice? We at least get the illusion of a choice, there are two assignments and there are two people, if we each choose the same the choice will not be ours, if we each choose differently then the choice is ours. So which do we choose and does it matter? At first I wanted LA. I lived in California from the age of 12 until the age of 26. The longest I have ever lived anywhere and I love California, I love the culture, the people, it is me. I want to take Jeff, Mandy and Lilyto see the Sierra Nevada Mountain range, Yosemite and all the other lovely places from my childhood. I want to live in a place where we have access to everything that America has to offer, sports, theater, good schools, museums, gluten-free stores and restaraunts, used book stores, thrift shops, and Disneyland. What could be better than LA? A dream come true.

After a little research I am discovering what you all probably know, I could never afford a house in LA, not in an area I would want to live. And how do I know which area is good and which is bad? There are 80 school districts in LA county - not schools, school districts. Can you imagine how much research that is going to be? I started making charts, with school districts, test scores, zip codes, ect and four hours later I had just scratched the surface. There is just so much there, so much.

Gulfport and Biloxi Mississippi were devestated by hurricane Katrina. Living there would give us the opportunity to infuse that area with our money, buying a house, paying taxes, grocery shopping, it would all help the community to rebuild. We would have the opportunity to do volunteer work and really make a difference in our country, something very important to Jeff and I. In Mississippi we would be comfortable financially, we would be able to afford a nice house, and live at a higher standard of living, we would be able to afford a comfortable life and we would be closer to Jeff's family.

I still have a lot to research, but I am pretty sure that my mind is made up. Maybe tomorrow I will have another thought. Not that what I think matters at all, so why worry. I really should just do my homework and clean the closets. Concentrate on the things I can control and let the other things work themselves out. Ya, right!

The Assignments

There are two assignments available:

• Los Angeles, California
• Biloxi, Mississippi

We will find out which we get in Novemeber. What a contrast.

Going Home

The list of people who got overseas assignments is out. Our name is not on the list. Meaning we are going back to America in March. The list of assignments available will come out mid October.

We still haven't heard about the special duty assignment Jeff applied for in India. No news most probably means we are not going.

There is a special duty assignment working at the embassy in Israel, Jeff thinks we should apply, I am skeptical.

The hard part is not knowing. I am willing to get excited about our next duty station where ever it happens to be, just not knowing is hard. If I get excited about America and then we end up in India, I will be disappointed. If I get excited about India and we end up in America I will be disappointed. So I am getting excited about moving.

I am working on getting rid of stuff. I love lightening the load. Going through the closets and drawers, cleaning everything, getting it all neatly organized. What will we be taking with us? What are we done with? It is all very cleansing. I also love going through all those boxes, pictures and things I love that are hidden away in closets, things I only see when we move. Memories. I am excited about the pre-move closet cleaning. It is all I have. My positive attitude is taking a great deal of work today! But I am proud to have found a ray of sunshine to focus upon.

Truthfully I think I have accepted the fact that we are going to America. I don't really have even an inkling of hope that any of the special duty things will come about. I am getting excited about being near family. I am getting excited about buying my first house. I am getting excited about going to museums (I know I am such a nerd). I am getting excited about going to see the Nutcracker Ballet every Christmas again. I am really excited about the prospect of being able to paint my walls, I have lived with white walls for more than 20 years now, not a drop of color, I am going to paint or paper every single solitary inch of our new home! It will be shocking!

Smile

Lily and I spend our week days with a pretty set routine. Everyday we venture out of the house at around the same time. We have a handful of playgrounds near our home and even more if we want to get in the car. We usually spend a couple of hours every morning running around. This helps Lily burn off all that energy and the sunshine and a little social interaction is good for both of us.

Most days we run into the same people. The same kids, the same moms, we all have the same idea. There is one mom, she is an at home day care provider and she doesn't like me. Whatever. She is very nice to everyone else, but she wont even say hello to me. After six months of being ignored and snubbed I have gotten over being offended and now I do my best to upset her. I actually enjoy making her face red. I will come to the playground and sit right next to her and say, good morning. I smile and ignore the fact that she doesn't respond to me. I talk about the weather and such like we are best friends. For some reason she hates me so much that my close proximity offends her to the point that she becomes physically flustered. So much fun.

I didn't know the reason she hated me so much, until recently. We have never had a conversation, I have never met her at any other place, just the playground. So why does she hate me? Must be my good looks. I accidentally overheard her having a conversation about me the other day. I came up to the playground behind her and she was carrying on a conversation about me, oops. She hates me because I smile too much. I am serious. She want to "smack that smile right off my face". What is up with that?

After overhearing this juicy gossip, I have been noticing that I do indeed smile more than other people. I have noticed that most people do not smile at all. I usually smile and say hello to people. Most people will say hello without a smile. I also noticed that children also do not smile. My Lily, she is always smiling and laughing. People usually react and tell me she is such a happy girl. I tell them they are crazy she is a defiant little fit thrower. They shake their heads at me because she is giggling her head off. You all know that I complain about Miss Lily and her fits pretty constantly since she has been born. Yet, what I didn't realize is she is 95% sunshine and giggles.

What about you? Do you smile throughout the day? Do you smile when you say hello or good morning to people? Do you smile at your family? Do people who smile a lot annoy you?

I am thinking of buying the nice lady at the playground who hates me one of those happy face balloons, or happy face stickers for all the little kiddies she cares for. She will probably have a coronary and die on the spot. He he. Don't hate me because I am happy!

Etiquette

Jeff and I were invited to a birthday party at the beach. This is a surprise party thrown by a husband for a wife. When we were invited Jeff asked what we could bring in the way of food, and was told we do not need to bring anything. Jeff told me all this and I was not going to bring any food to the party. About an hour before we were set to leave, Jeff asks me what I am planning to bring. I said, nothing, you told me we don't need to bring anything. Jeff feels that it is rude to show up without something. We are bringing a present.

I feel that when I throw a party and tell people they don't need to bring any food, I mean what I say. Jeff feels that is just something people say and you should bring food anyways. So what do you all think? Tell the truth would you bring a covered dish, a salad, some soda, or just the gift? We got a nice gift.

The librarian

Today is Thursday. On Thursdays Lily and I like to go to story time at the library. Last week, we ended up staying too long at the playground and missed story time. I took Lily to the library anyways to get a new book and I read to her myself in the story area. When we went up to the counter to check out her book, the librarian said we had an overdue book and we would have to return that book before we could check out a new one. So I left without the book.

I got home and by then Lily was asleep. The overdue book was one of Mandy's so I asked her to locate this book. She told me that she had given me that book to return two weeks ago, in a bag with about 20 other books. She asked if I had returned all the books in that bag, and I said yes. She check the car, her room and said that she is certain that the book had been returned. Mandy usually checks out and reads a bag full of books every week. She has never lost a book, never. Mandy has never lied to me, I have known her for 15 years and she has never misled me, so I believe her when she tells me she returned the book.

Mandy, Lily and I returned to the library. On the drive there Mandy was very upset, she doesn't like confrontations and fears this is not going to go well. I told her I would speak to the librarian if it made her feel so uncomfortable. I told the librarian that we had returned the book two weeks ago. Mandy had checked the shelf and the book wasn't there. I told him we were sure that we returned the book, but since it wasn't on the shelf, I was willing to pay for the book, just to clear up our library account. Our family, we utilize the library so much I cannot imagine going without, I would be willing to pay a whole lot to make this all go away. The librarian first told me that he had to check the shelf himself, he was beginning to get a little hot under the collar. I don't know why he was mad, I assume this is due to the fact that I have impugned him in some way saying I returned the book, which I had. I was being very polite, I didn't throw a fit or make demands, I just wanted to pay for the book.

I had a very unhappy three year old with me and I knew that we would not be able to be nice library patrons for more than a minute or two longer. He went to check the shelf, he was gone for about twenty minutes. This is a very small library, I am pretty sure I could have checked the entire library in those twenty minutes, maybe he is a slow reader. He returned and said the book was not on the shelf. Dude, I told you that twenty minutes ago. By this time I am holding a very loud and very obnoxious Lily. I opened my wallet and adked, how much?

He said: Did you lose the book?

I said: No, I returned the book two weeks ago,but I am willing to pay for it because I don't want to lose my library privileges.

He repeated: Did you lose the book?

I repeated: No
.
He said: If you lose or damaged a book we do not accept cash. If you lose or damage a book, we do not accept credit.

Lily is really squirming to get down and being very loud and I am trying not to reach across the counter to grab this little Japanese man by his purple spikey hair and scream, How much?

He says: If you lose or damage a book we do not accept checks.

Long pause.

If you lost or damaged a book you have to buy the book online and replace the book. Once you give us a receipt showing you have purchased the book, we will clear your account.

I started to leave.

He said: Tell you daughter to look for the book again.

And I walked away.

In the exchang above, I was being very generous in regards to his ability to communicate in the English language, very generous.

On the drive home, Mandy was livid. She was so mad she wanted to kill that man. I tried to explain to her that I believed her, but there is nothing we can do, we have to replace the book. I said that we can scream and yell and make a huge scene but in the end we will have to replace the book. This is the military after all. I said that he made a mistake, however, we should be the bigger person. There is no way we can win in this situation and there is no use in pursuing a course of action which will do nothing more than frustrate and anger us ever more. Someday, when one of us makes a mistake, that the person we inconvenience with our mistake will be as kind to us as we are being to that jerk at the library. Mandy said, she just wanted to pull his purple spikey hair right out of his head. I told her, me too.

On Sunday Mandy and I went through her room, we cleaned every inch, and I did make sure to look at every one of her five million books, just to be sure. This made Mandy a bit upset, like I don't trust her. When Jeff asked if we looked for the book, she really got upset, saying we don't trust her. I looked at every piece of everything she owned. In fact we actually took everything out of the room and cleaned it and put everything back in, so I guarantee you that we do not have that book.

The next day, I went online and ordered the book. I gave Jeff the receipt and asked him to go to the library and show it to the smarmy librarian so we can clear up our account. I told Jeff I was too mad. I asked him to be sure to make smarmy remarks to that purple spikey haired jerk. Like: We replaced the book, because you gave us no choice, but you need to figure out what happened to this book, so you don't inconvenience more people with your shoddy work ethic. I am not good at smarmy even in hindsight. Jeff asked me to write it down for him, because he isn't used to making smarmy remarks, so I punched him. Just kidding, but I really did want to punch him. Jeff took the receipt to the library and a different nicer librarian told him that book had been returned on Sunday. Sunday is the day we cleaned Mandy's room all day and never left the house. So according to the library we returned the book on Sunday. They will not acknowledge that they checked the book out to another person and that person returned the book on Sunday. So we have a book coming in the mail that the library doesn't want.

I am off to the library for story time today with Lily. I will be checking out the book Lily wanted last week. I hope I have the grace not to punch the purple spikey haired smarmy ass librarian, if not I hope they let me blog from the Japanese jail.

Just to be clear, this library is on-base filled with American books written in English, I don't speak or read Japanese. However, much to the chigrin of the American spouses on the base, most of the jobs go to Japanese nationals. So the librarians are all Japanese people who live in our local community working at the American library.

School is out

I just finished my last assignment for my summer class, Introduction to Programming in Java. I have two weeks until the next semester begins. I will be taking two courses, yikes. But, I am excited about the break. What a relief.

Jeff is off climbing Mt. Fuji for the last time.

On Thursday it was 96 degrees, 67 percent humidity and no air conditioning.

On Friday morning we got up early to make sure all the flowers got a good drink of water. Thinking they would be thirsty after all that heat. About an hour later, the skyies filled with clouds and it rained all day, Friday and Saturday. Ha, ha very funny.

I am hoping to create an interesting post sometime soon.