Technically speaking we have decided not to take any more vacations because we are moving in six months. Don't know where we are moving, but still moving is expensive. We are going to have to buy a new couch, a new car, buy a house etc. We are expecting that moving will cost us a lot of money. The military pays to move our stuff and our airfare etc, still it will cost us quite a bit of out of our own pocket money. The smart prudent thing to do is expect that we will need money and therefore save some money in advance so as not to get into any trouble. Jeff is the one in our family who is good with money. He is very prudent.
Yet, Jeff is the one who brought home a brochure from our travel agent about a trip to Australia over Thanksgiving. Doesn't that sound lovely? It is a trip to Cairns, five nights. Surfing and snorkeling over Thanksgiving instead of shoveling snow. The trip is very expensive. I want to go. Now Jeff is not so sure.
I am not great with money. I tend to manage money with my heart. I decide if I should buy an item based on how much I want it instead of based on how much I can afford the item. I like to have nice things because I am a good person and deserve nice things. I am not extravagant but I have a hard time making money decisions based on the how that purchase will effect my financial well being instead of how much I want to go to Australia.
I does turn out that traveling all the way from America to Australia is actually cheaper than going from middle of no where Misawa, Japan to Australia, much cheaper. I do believe that one last trip would be lovely. We can add another continent to our list of accomplishments.
What about you, how do you make your big purchase decisions? A new car? A new computer? Is it based on how much you desire the item or how much you can afford to buy the item? You should have seen my debt when I got married, it was ugly. Jeff doesn't believe in debt, we even pay for our college as we go or we don’t go, imagine that.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Australia
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9/30/2006 06:31:00 PM
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Friday, September 29, 2006
Blogger Beta
I converted my blog from blogger to blogger beta. It is so lovely I could cry. I am so busy with homework today I wont have time to add a bit of my personal touch until later. Still, I took the time to go through each and every post and add labels, that was fun. If you have blogger I think you should change to blogger beta! You will be so happy! Have a great weekend.
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9/29/2006 05:42:00 PM
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Thursday, September 28, 2006
Headache
I have had a massive headache for about two weeks now. Why, because I ran out of allergy medication. I went to the pharmacy to get a refill and they informed me that while I still had about five refills left on my prescription their policy is that I have to have the prescription updated yearly. Since this prescription was written over a year ago, it is now expired. This means a trip to the doctor. I have been getting notices that I am overdue for a pap smear and that I am in need of a mammogram. I am sure if I ask for more drugs they are going to demand that I take care of the other stuff. And I don't want to. I hate going to the doctor.
I was so good while I was pregnant. I went to all the appointments. I got there early and waited until sometimes more than an hour after the scheduled appointment. I peed in cups, got stuck with needles, filled my bladder full of 1,000 ounces of liquid and held it for hours while I waited patiently 20, 30, 40 minutes past my appointment time. Went in and was chastised for not having a full enough bladder. The extreme discomfort not taken into consideration or the fact that the ultrasound was completed, information was obtained. I personally think this is just a big joke that men play on women that there really is no physical reason a pregnant woman has to have a full bladder to see inside the womb. A) They always tell me mine isn't full enough and B) they are always able to do the test even though they just said it wasn't full. If it isn't full enough why can you see the baby? Either you can see it and it is full enough or you can't see it and it isn't full enough. I hate going to the doctor.
Every day I read the paper, I watch the news, I read magazines; you know what they all tell me? I have to be my own health care advocate. I have to ensure that my doctor is diagnosing me correctly; that I am taking the right medication, to be careful or the doctor will get me. If I think about it, I have never been diagnosed by a doctor. I have never gone in and said, I don't feel right and been given a reason for my illness and a remedy. I have gone to the doctor not knowing what was wrong with me, but in those instances, I have always come away with a misdiagnosis. When the treatment doesn't work, I have to do some research, figure out what is wrong with me, and return to the doctor. When I go to the doctor knowing what is wrong with me, I have to arrive early, wait until late, get naked, sit in the room naked for hours, finally the doctor arrives and I have about four minutes to convince him of what I have and what I need to fix it. I have to make sure I use the correct medical terminology too because otherwise they will misdiagnose me again and I will have to rinse and repeat the process until I can get a doctor who will listen to me. Why can't I just tell the pharmacist what I need or send an email? I hate going to the doctor.
I feel that we are all being treated so poorly but that doctors only police themselves so they will never improve. They only way to fix it is if we all band together and refuse to go to the doctor. Sure, a few of us will have headaches and a few of us will die, but we will make the world a better place for our children. A world where they can go to the doctor and they doctor sees them at the appointed time. A world where they are treated with dignity and respect. A world where the doctor figures out what is wrong with you and gives you a treatment or your visit is free and he will come out to your house and keep trying until he gets it right. Are you with me? Are you ready to boycott western medicine?
My dear and lovely blogging buddy Laura, her mom passed away when Laura was very young. Her mom when diagnosed with a terminal illness decided instead of going to the doctor she would let Jesus heal her. Laura grew up without her mom. Maybe the doctors could have saved her. I would walk through fire for my girls. I don't want them to grow up without a mom. Not that allergies will kill me, but the whole Pap smear thing. I tell you I would much rather walk through fire than go to the doctor. Nevertheless, go I must, go I shall. I hate going to the doctor.
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9/28/2006 11:41:00 PM
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Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Keys
Yesterday I wrote a post about how much Lily loves to run and how I fear that in the not to distant future I will no longer be able to keep up with her. After writing that post Lily and I took a shower and got ready to go to gymnastics. As we were headed out the door I discovered that I could not find the keys. We searched high and low until I remembered that I had left the keys in the car, all locked up and secure. As I glanced at the clock I discovered that we had five minutes until the bus would come. The bus stop is about a block from my house. I thought surly super speedy Lily could make it a block in five minutes.
As I encouraged her to run she said, I'm sorry Mommy I can't run, I'm too big. Whatever that means. We did make it to the bus on time only because the bus was running 7 minutes behind schedule. We even made it to gymnastics on time only because gymnastics was running late as well.
I tried to leave gymnastics a couple of minutes early so we could make it on the bus going home. However, Lily was very upset with me for this. She was actually quite a bit more than merely upset. So we missed the bus going home and had to wait an hour. There I was on the busiest street in Misawa with a very upset (screaming her head off - throwing herself on the ground) daughter. We were 3 miles from home and I couldn't get her to walk two steps let alone 3 miles. So I took her to Burger King. We had fries and milk. The Burger King fries are coated in flour and make her a little sick. I felt I was between a rock and a hard place and chose the hard place. After eating and drinking Lily's mood improved. We walked to the bus stop and played and giggles for 45 minutes until the bus finally came and got us.
I didn't really get all that stressed out during the whole escapade. A run of bad luck. I think the exercise is helping me with my nerves. Or I have quietly accepted that which I cannot change. Today however, I am so stressed out I can hardly function due to some difficult choices I have to make. One step in front of the other.
The short version is: my school is done with 5 terms per year instead of two. So a full time college student takes 2 classes every term. The terms are 12 weeks long and have a week long break somewhere in the middle. So you see that 12 times 5 is 60 plus 5 extra week long breaks gives one 65 weeks. Therefore the terms overlap. I am currently taking two classes. They are going pretty well. I need to take the next consecutive course for each of these classes, but if I take the next ones it will be overlapping with this term by four weeks. For four weeks I would be taking four classes. And the new 2 classes would be made even more difficult because I wouldn't have finished the pre-requisites completely at the onset. My other choice would be to wait until term 4 which starts in May or June. We will be moving during term 3. I am thinking that with all that time in between I may loose quite a bit of the knowledge. Another rock and a hard place. I think I am going to go for it. I tend to get high A's in these courses so a little extra difficulty will not kill me. But, four classes with the added difficulty might make me crazy. But only for four weeks. Ok that wasn't short.
We are getting very excited about moving back to America. Can't wait to buy our first home. It is all we talk about. The list of the choices we will have comes out Oct 10th. Only a couple of weeks and our choices will be narrowed.
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9/26/2006 07:09:00 PM
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Monday, September 25, 2006
I feel old
Your only as old as you feel and I feel old. Last week Lily and I expanded our daily schedule to include walking about a 1/2 mile to the gym and back. This is in addition to the walking to the playground and walking the dog. Therefore Lily has been walking a lot more than usual. When I say walking I really mean running. Jeff and Mandy have been very busy in the evenings and we find ourselves on our own a lot. I also have a ton of school work and find myself on the computer a lot. So Lily is not really getting as much attention from any of us as she is used to getting. Spending time together outside is helping us get through this difficult time. Lily and I have a great time talking, counting, singing, laughing and afterwards Lily eats better, sleeps better and plays quietly on her own better. All good things, excpet...
It seems that all this running, Lily doesn't particularly like to walk, she likes to run full tilt. All this running is causing Lily's endurance level to increase exponentially while mine is only increasing incrementally. Sunday for example we took the dog for a walk and Lily ran full speed for an entire mile. Lily's full speed with her tiny little legs is only a slow jog for me, but a slow jog for a mile is pushing up to the limits of my abilities. I fear that she will surpass me in the very near future. Therefore a little part of me thinks I should strap her into the stroller instead of letter her run. Wouldn't that be mean? It just doesn't seem fair that she is so strong so young. I think she gets it from her dad.
We did take her to the doctor. She is growing well. So her food allergies are not compromising her ability to grow, she is 75 percentile for height and weight. Which is delightful because she was under the 50th percentile before we found out her allergies and now she is more toward where I think she should be. While we didn't receive any additional council or magic cure for her ailments I was glad to have a professional tell me she is healthy. I worry, even if it is obvious from looking at her that she is fine, I still worry. I guess the wish for a doctor to be able to wave a magic wand and make her better is silly, but I couldn't help but feel a little let down that she isn't fixed. Because of all her vigor and good health I sometimes think that maybe she isn't allergic to anything, maybe she is better, maybe we were wrong. I guess it is wishful thinking or my brain playing tricks on me.
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9/25/2006 06:16:00 PM
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Sunday, September 24, 2006
Amazing Race
Jeff and I love to watch the TV show Amazing Race. We feel that on most of our adventures we have felt pretty similar to the contestants. We have been lost in foreign countries with very little money. We have tried our best to locate some place without the ability to speak the language or read a map. Been there done that. It is so fun to see many of the places we have been on the show. Like this time they started in Seattle and went to Beijing, been there done that. So fun. All of our traveling experience and the thought of a million dollars you would think we would be first in line to apply for the show, but no, I like being married a bit more than I like the thought of a million dollars.
A couple of months ago I was at one of those functions, now that Jeff is a Master Sergeant we are constantly going to functions. I was chatting with some ladies, some were Japanese some were American. The American ladies were asking the Japanese ladies how to curse in Japanese. We were all giggling to no end. The Japanese ladies were writing down for us American ladies how to say some choice words to our husbands in Japanese. As I asked for the words to be written on my napkin they all looked at me and said, you don’t fight with your husband. What? Of course I fight with my husband. I need to be able to cuss in Japanese as much as the next wife.
As I told Jeff the story I started to remember that a lot of people make this comment to me. I wonder what it is about us that gives the impression to people that we don’t fight? I think that for the most part it is Jeff, he is very nice. I think people think that there is no way anyone could ever be mad at him. I guess that makes me the ultimate Bitch, because I get mad at him all the time. Especially when we are traveling. Because he never listens. Never.
Seriously though. We have only been married going on six years, in November. I guess that makes us relatively newlyweds. However, I have noticed that in the first couple years we did fight a lot more. Lately, he still annoys me in the same ways for the same reasons, but I don’t take the time to get really mad. Too much effort. Been there done that. He is who he is and most days I am glad to be married to him, so when he refuses to listen, I just skip the part where I get mad and move on. He does the same. I am sure no one thinks I am so sweet that Jeff could never possibly get mad at me, but he used to get mad more often than he does now. Now he is still annoyed by the same things but doesn’t bother to get all hot and bothered by it all. I am not sure if this is due to the fact that our annoyances are petty or if it is due to the fact that we are too lazy to have a good fight? Fighting takes way too much energy.
Still I need some good Japanese cuss words to feel better too. They have been in my wallet for a couple of months and never been used. But, they are there and they are ready just in case. I wonder too what it is that those ladies who only know me via the occasional function see in our relationship which causes them to assume we never fight. I was the only one singled out and accused of never fighting with my husband. While they were right, how did they know?
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9/24/2006 06:52:00 PM
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Friday, September 22, 2006
Malindi
I have written about our trip to Kenya a little bit before. I think I need to get some of these stories written down before they disappear from my head altogether.
Baby Elephant
The Day I met Angelina Jolie
After the Safari we went to a fabulous five star resort in the small coastal town of Malindi. Our resort was an Italian resort as we were living in Italy and were on an Italian Safari through Kenya. Our room was the most amazing room I have ever stayed in, every room we had on Safari was amazing but this one was bigger than the apartment we were living in back in Italy. The bed was raised up off the ground about five feet. It was an enormous bed covered in a canopy of mosquito netting. There was a beautiful picture on the quilt made out of fresh flower petals. Each petal artfully placed to design a welcome message including a picture. There was a walk in closet that was larger than my current bed room. The bathroom had an enormous shower. The floors were beautiful tile, there was even an air conditioner. Something I rarely see since leaving America. We had a front porch with a porch swing, potted plants and flowers which separated us from other bungalows. From our front porch we could see the pool which was about 6 feet from our porch and we could see the Indian Ocean in the background.
The first thing we, Mandy and I, did when we arrived was grab an empty coke bottle and go to the beach. I was so excited to put my foot in the Indian Ocean. I love that I have put my foot in so many bodies of water all around the world, I hope to get my foot on all the continents and in all the oceans by the time I expire. We also like to take a bit of dirt and put it into a locally bought coke bottle. You know Coke bottles are printed in the local language in many countries, so I have coke bottles in French, Arabic, etc. We like to put a bit of earth in our coke bottles. How boring is that? We get the traditional souvenirs too, but Mandy and I like to collect dirt, shells, rocks and coke bottles. Off we went to dip our toes and fill our bottle.
On the way to the Ocean from our room which was a very short walk we encountered dozens of local people. While on the property of the hotel the local vendors were not allowed to speak to us or bother us. The staff of the hotel however rushes to serve you the minute you leave your room. Here there were far more employees working at the resort than there were guests. They are all very educated men, they speak perfect English and Italian. They can converse in any manner of topics concerning Kenya and the world. They can tell you all about all the different religions the politics and culture of their home. They present this information with enthusiasm and with the grace to be respectful of you and your culture. An ambassador if you will. There job is to make sure that you the guest are happy. They will sit and visit with you. They will fetch you a towel, a drink, something to eat. They will join in a game of volleyball in the pool assembling as many employees as you need to facilitate a game. They will find you your favorite song to listen to while you sunbath. They will find you just the right souvenir to take home with you while you sun bath. They are fabulous. After about five minutes you feel like you are the most important person in the world. You feel like everything you say and do is profound and wonderful. It was lovely. I have no idea how a rich person could be unhappy. Just move to Kenya.
As Mandy and I left the resort property on our way to the beach we then encountered the peddlers. We were surrounded by men and women who wanted to sell us something, anything. They were willing to trade us our shoes, our glasses, our clothes, anything we wanted they would trade us. In return they would find us any treasure our heart desired. It was fun. They would braid our hair or give us henna tattoos, wood carved items, etc. It was a bit overwhelming for me, the walk to the Ocean. Being surrounded by so many people wanting something from me. I don't really like to say no. I don't really feel empowered a lot in my daily life to tell people no and feel ok about it. It was surreal to be such a disappointment to so many people all at once. We did make it to the water stuck our toe in and were on our way back up to the room. I had such a hard time walking away from these people asking me to do this and that, I got caught up on the beach. I had such a hard time saying no that I was pretty much frozen. Mandy left me there listening to all their pitches somehow unable to say NO. She went and got Jeff, he came and told everyone NO and we went back to the room. I never went back out to the beach. I never put more than a toe in the Indian Ocean. Life on the resort is different than life off the resort that is for sure.
Later we took a tour bus and saw the local market. Here they were selling all the things that had been traded with the tourists. This market consisted of an area of about a couple of blocks full of tables, each table was covered with a shade made out of branches and leaves, like the roofs on the huts on Survivor. Each table at the market had different things. There was a table of sunglasses, a tables of hats, a table of tennis shoes. I saw a table of the fabric the Kenyan women use to make their skirts. Every woman had a colorful wrap around skirt, they used this same material to make baby carriers as well. They are the most vivid colors and patterns of flowers I have ever seen. I couldn't leave Kenya without one of these skirts. I tried to talk Jeff into buying it for me but he handed me the money and said good luck.
I ventured away from the tour group and approached the woman who was manning the table selling the beautiful fabric. I asked her how much. They speak English and Swahili in Kenya. She answered. I bought two. A man from another table came over, it seemed like he was making sure I wasn't bothering the woman. He seemed very protective. She gave me my change and I moved along. It was fun. It still have the beautiful skirts, a bright purple one and a bright red one.
Next we went to the wood carving factory. This is were most of the wooden souvenirs made in Kenya come from. People come and make the carving and then they get a portion of the profits from the sale. There is a store where you buy the carvings. Most of the street vendors who hang out in front of the resorts, come here and get the souvenirs. Then they sell the souvenirs to the tourists. If the tourist pays with clothing or shoes, a camera or whatever western item they have the vendor takes that item to the appropriate table at the market place and barters with the owner of that table. A combination of money and items for sale. It seems that this market is a great way for the locals to get a bit of western stuff infused into their lives. Most of the ladies I saw in Kenya wore western t-shirts with their Kenyan skirts. Everyone seemed to have western shoes, sandals or tennis shoes. Perhaps there is a department store somewhere and Nike is sold in a mall in Kenya as well. But some of these items come to the people via the tourists.
My little story, no moral no point just a little bit about our adventure to Kenya.
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9/22/2006 05:34:00 PM
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Thursday, September 21, 2006
Partisan Politics
I have been a bit frustrated lately. The one thing that is driving me more crazy than all the rest is politics. I believe that there are many things happening in our country that need to be discussed. Like education, healthcare, environment, unemployment, interest rates, and THE WAR. I feel that the entire political discussion boils down to are you with us or against us. Doesn't matter which side of the isle you choose: pro-Bush, anti-Bush, red, blue, for the war, against the war. Once you choose your side, you identify yourself and therefore never again listen to anyone who is not on your side. Anyone who is on your side you find a way to agree with them.
I believe that any argument has some merit, you learn that in school, you can always find something positive to say about a position and you can always find something negative about a position. Choosing the course we take based on red and blue that frustrates me. There are great thinker, great ideas on both sides of the isle. No one ever talks issues anymore they only want to know, can I like you? Are you on my team or the other team?
I believe people are beginning to identify themselves and which team they hit for while making comments on blogs, comments about non-political things like motherhood or menopause, first they introduce themselves by identifying their party choice. Maybe we should all get tattoos. Dicks and Asses, right on the forehead. Movies should be clearly labeled so we don't accidentally watch a movie which may in some way represent an idea from the other team. I'll never tell you which side I am on, the only person I feel comfortable talking politics with is Jeff, with everyone else I am scared they are going to slit my throat or something. Freaks me out.
All I want is better education for the poor, better healthcare for the poor, better interest rates on my savings account, environmentally friendly fuel, world peace. Anyone with any ideas about that crap I want to listen and discuss, live in a better world. I am an American red, white and blue (I wonder who the white party is?). I know I know I sound like Pollyanna, but seriously don't you think people determine weather or not you are full of shit before they even hear what you have to say, based on your political affiliation?
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9/21/2006 04:25:00 PM
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Monday, September 18, 2006
Nightmares
I had a nightmare last night. I don’t usually have nightmares, but lately I have been having them quite a bit. I have no idea the underlying cause or whatever, sometimes a nightmare is just a nightmare.
When I was around 10 or 11, prime slumber party age, I had a scary story that I told at ever slumber party. I told the story well and repeat performances were often requested. The story was about a doll that would come to life in the middle of the night and kill the family members. I would go into extreme detail about the coming to life, how the eyeballs would change from plastic to real and blink. Then the finger nails would grow not like a person but like a cat’s claws. Then the plastic doll, with real eyes and cat like claws would rip the still beating heart out of someone and eat it. Good stuff.
After a week or so of waking up with nightmares, last night I woke to the sound of Lily’s CareBear, saying “I’m Sunshine Bear”…. Lily has this Care Bear she takes everywhere. We have had it forever, but it still talks when you press the belly. It must have solar power or something, because you would think after a couple of years the damn batteries would expire. But, no. So I awoke to the damn bear’s freaky voice coming through our baby monitor. It kept going and going. So I went to Lily’s room thinking I would move the bear, thinking she must be laying on it or something. Something. The bear was on one side of the bed, Lily on the other. I have no idea what was making that bear talk and talk and talk. I did check the eyes, they appeared to still be plastic. Perhaps Lily rolled over while I was on my way to her room?
So I went back to bed. Still only half awake. Later I jumped out of bed and ran to the wall next to Jeff’s side of the bed. I was screaming, Jeff, Jeff. I was trying to grab something or stop something from falling. I really have no idea as I was asleep. Jeff said something like, what? Which caused me to realize that I was dreaming or something. At that moment I couldn’t articulate what I was doing. I knew what I was trying to catch or grab, I just didn’t know the words. Like I was dreaming vivid dreams without words to articulate the dream. It was weird. The more I woke up the less I understood why I was standing on the other side of the room screaming for Jeff to help me stop something from falling on our completely blank white wall. I went right back to sleep, it was about 2 AM, Jeff was never able to fall back to sleep. Sorry.
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9/18/2006 05:33:00 PM
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Sunday, September 17, 2006
Going Home
The list of people who got overseas assignments is out. Our name is not on the list. Meaning we are going back to America in March. The list of assignments available will come out mid October.
We still haven't heard about the special duty assignment Jeff applied for in India. No news most probably means we are not going.
There is a special duty assignment working at the embassy in Israel, Jeff thinks we should apply, I am skeptical.
The hard part is not knowing. I am willing to get excited about our next duty station where ever it happens to be, just not knowing is hard. If I get excited about America and then we end up in India, I will be disappointed. If I get excited about India and we end up in America I will be disappointed. So I am getting excited about moving.
I am working on getting rid of stuff. I love lightening the load. Going through the closets and drawers, cleaning everything, getting it all neatly organized. What will we be taking with us? What are we done with? It is all very cleansing. I also love going through all those boxes, pictures and things I love that are hidden away in closets, things I only see when we move. Memories. I am excited about the pre-move closet cleaning. It is all I have. My positive attitude is taking a great deal of work today! But I am proud to have found a ray of sunshine to focus upon.
Truthfully I think I have accepted the fact that we are going to America. I don't really have even an inkling of hope that any of the special duty things will come about. I am getting excited about being near family. I am getting excited about buying my first house. I am getting excited about going to museums (I know I am such a nerd). I am getting excited about going to see the Nutcracker Ballet every Christmas again. I am really excited about the prospect of being able to paint my walls, I have lived with white walls for more than 20 years now, not a drop of color, I am going to paint or paper every single solitary inch of our new home! It will be shocking!
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9/17/2006 07:19:00 PM
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Friday, September 15, 2006
blogging
I began my blog with the intention of keeping my friends and family up to date on our lives while we are living so far away. Before I discovered blogging I would send long emails to various friends and family. Most never really replied. I think for the most part they found my attempts to stay in contact to be annoying. Like I was expecting them to do the same and they were not predisposed to writing. Blogging allowed me the opportunity to write about my adventures, keep a diary I guess, without annoying my family. If they are interested they can read about stuff without feeling put upon.
So the first six months or so of blogging I would only blog when I had gone on an adventure or if something big happened. I did however begin to read other people's blog. I discovered Dixie at a time when she had taken a pledge to blog daily for a certain number of weeks. I really enjoyed going to her blog everyday and finding something new, guaranteed. I learned a little bit of the possibilities of blogging. It doesn't just have to be a newsletter to the family. It could be a place where I say what I think about all kinds of things.
I believe that before I could actually speak I would sit in my crib frustrated by what others were saying. To this day I am often frustrated by what everyone else is saying. I watch movies, TV, read books, newspapers and blogs. I hear the opinions of so many people and don't feel like my opinions are being expressed. I always have something to say about everything. Most of the time my odd thoughts cause me to loose friends.
Before I blogged I would express my odd thoughts via conversations and emails. Before I blogged I would all of a sudden lose a friend or person I conversed with out of the blue. People don't tend to tell me, Marsha I don’t agree with a word you say, therefore I will never speak to you again. They just disappear from my life. I never know what it is that I have said to offend them. As I began to blog for real. As I found a way to say the things on my mind via the blog instead of to all the poor people who happen cross my real life path. I began to discover something new. People tell me what they think. Instead of walking away shaking their head, I have actually learned a thing or too from my blogging friends.
I have learned that what I am saying and what people are hearing me say are often very different things. Much of that is my fault from poor presentation, but a little of that is that people tend to hear things through their own filter. I have learned that you have to know your audience in order to actually get a message to them. You have to know how they are going to interpret what you say and make allowances for their filter in order to be heard. I have also learned that my filter causes me to see the world in a way that makes me feel alone, like I am the only one who feels the way I feel. When in truth I have a lot in common with a lot of people. I am learning to listen and learning how to communicate.
All that aside as I make blogging friends, I have started to care about these people. I realize that the people we are on our blogs is different than the people we are in real life. I read the blog of someone who I know in real life and was shocked by the fact that while everything she said on her blog was 100% true and accurate, the things which were not said, caused the things which were said to appear in a different way. She came across as a sweet, shy, poor me, when in truth she is a very strong personality who is very much in charge of every room she enters. I realize that all my blogging friends are really different people in person, but I still like our blogging relationship. People who come by and leave comments, or people whose blogs I read and enjoy following their story. I would miss them if our blogging relationship were to end. This is causing me to edit myself a lot. I am so worried about saying the things I think, I find I no longer have very much to say. I find that I am so afraid of being me that I have become someone I don’t really know, on my blog. It is a lot easier to put yourself out there when you don't have any friends because there is no one to reject you.
I was telling this all to my dad on the phone the other day and he told me that he doesn't agree with half of the things I say on my blog, but he still reads it. Probably the same is true about all of you. That you already think I am nuts and still are my friends so what does it matter what I say.
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9/15/2006 08:19:00 PM
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
This and That
There really isn't very much to say right now. Saturday is the very last possible day we could be told our next assignment will be overseas. Not very likely at this point. Still, a slight bit of hope remains. Otherwise we will be going back to America in March, we will find out the possibilities available in Oct and our actual assignment in Nov. Military life means waiting.
Summer is winding down. Everyone seems to be making a last ditch effort to enjoy the sunshine before it is all gone. We have been to one picnic after another at the lake, plus birthday parties, etc. Lots and lots of socializing, running around in the sun and having fun.
Last weekend we rented a cabin on the beach. We invited friends and Jeff's co-workers for dinner. We had a bbq and campfire, everyone went home and we slept in the cabin. It was lovely. We were walking distance to our house so we were able to walk home at bedtime and let the dog out, instead of paying our neighbor $20. First thing in the morning Mandy couldn't wait to get out of there and went home and let the dog out again. So there we were, we had the cabin until 11 am. It was around 7 am. We had all the food and hardware to cook my famous camping breakfast, potatoes, ham, onion, bell pepper - take some out for Lily and then add some eggs and cheese for the rest of us. Jeff went on and on about how lovely the cabin is, how much he wants our eventual home to be a tiny wood cabin just like this one. On and on. Then he said, so do you want to go home now. He kept asking if I was ready to leave. He said I could cook breakfast at home, why don't we go. I am enjoying sitting and watching the lake. The peaceful lake, but Jeff wants to go home. He made me go camping, he made me sleep in a tiny little cabin with the world's most uncomfortable bed. Lily is having a blast with three playgrounds to choose from and all the sand. But, Jeff wants to go from his dream cabin to our house that he complains about all the living time. He drives me crazy. So we went home. Jeff got to watch his football, I cooked everyone breakfast and we all took naps.
The rest of the base was busy with the air show. This year more than 125,000 people came onto the base to see the airshow. I sat in my lovely house away from the crowds and relaxed. Every year Jeff has to work the entire day during the airshow, this year he took leave to be able to go to the show, instead he watched football and napped. I hear it was lovely.
Lily's allergic reaction which was the result of my horrid mothering and allowing her to taste some Japanese food at the Nebuta festival, it is finally completely over. She is back to her old self. Very lovely. In the last week or so it seems like she has matured about two years, but actually she is just back to where she was before the reaction. She talks instead of screams. She cooperates. Her behavior is lovely. No more thinking a little bit of this or that probably wont hurt anything, I get the message!
I am busy with two classes. I have tons of homework due and I am procrastinating. So far nothing too difficult.
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9/13/2006 05:43:00 PM
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Family
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Saturday, September 09, 2006
Smile
Lily and I spend our week days with a pretty set routine. Everyday we venture out of the house at around the same time. We have a handful of playgrounds near our home and even more if we want to get in the car. We usually spend a couple of hours every morning running around. This helps Lily burn off all that energy and the sunshine and a little social interaction is good for both of us.
Most days we run into the same people. The same kids, the same moms, we all have the same idea. There is one mom, she is an at home day care provider and she doesn't like me. Whatever. She is very nice to everyone else, but she wont even say hello to me. After six months of being ignored and snubbed I have gotten over being offended and now I do my best to upset her. I actually enjoy making her face red. I will come to the playground and sit right next to her and say, good morning. I smile and ignore the fact that she doesn't respond to me. I talk about the weather and such like we are best friends. For some reason she hates me so much that my close proximity offends her to the point that she becomes physically flustered. So much fun.
I didn't know the reason she hated me so much, until recently. We have never had a conversation, I have never met her at any other place, just the playground. So why does she hate me? Must be my good looks. I accidentally overheard her having a conversation about me the other day. I came up to the playground behind her and she was carrying on a conversation about me, oops. She hates me because I smile too much. I am serious. She want to "smack that smile right off my face". What is up with that?
After overhearing this juicy gossip, I have been noticing that I do indeed smile more than other people. I have noticed that most people do not smile at all. I usually smile and say hello to people. Most people will say hello without a smile. I also noticed that children also do not smile. My Lily, she is always smiling and laughing. People usually react and tell me she is such a happy girl. I tell them they are crazy she is a defiant little fit thrower. They shake their heads at me because she is giggling her head off. You all know that I complain about Miss Lily and her fits pretty constantly since she has been born. Yet, what I didn't realize is she is 95% sunshine and giggles.
What about you? Do you smile throughout the day? Do you smile when you say hello or good morning to people? Do you smile at your family? Do people who smile a lot annoy you?
I am thinking of buying the nice lady at the playground who hates me one of those happy face balloons, or happy face stickers for all the little kiddies she cares for. She will probably have a coronary and die on the spot. He he. Don't hate me because I am happy!
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9/09/2006 08:53:00 PM
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Military Life
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Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Internet
My professor asked if the Information Age is the panacea of society. Everyone in the class said no, everyone but me. Am I just being contrary for the fun of it or am do I just see the world from a different perspective from normal people?
I can still remember the way it felt to get off the airplane and use the restroom in a foreign country for the first time. The way that it felt to be surrounded by German germs. It somehow felt very different than the American bathroom germs from the other side of the world. I remember how I would feel about tragedies which occurred in foreign lands as opposed to in my own neighborhood, how I felt before I started living in and traveling to foreign countries. I had an us and them mentality about the world. When my next door neighbor lost her job I invited her and her family over for dinner every night for a month, until she was situated, but when I read about the millions of people starving around the world I felt bad but didn't feel that it was my problem to solve.
I believe that this us and them mentality is the social issue which permeates the world today. I believe that the Information Age is going to rectify this issue. That it is the panacea of today's society and will change the world as much or even more than the Industrial Revolution. Every day more and more people are loosing the illusions of us and them and seeing the world as just us. Right now the Muslim world is them, doesn't matter that there are a billion of them, and the vast majority are good people. Right now the victims of Hurricane Katrina are them. Right now the people who live in the inner cities 20 miles from our home towns, whose children go to school without enough money for heat, let alone a quality education, those people are them as well. The ease of access to information and communication via the Internet is giving us the opportunity to see these people in a new way, as a part of us. It gives us the opportunity to see a new perspective and that will change our society.
Pedophiles are in my opinion an excellent example of the positive way in which the Internet and the Information Age is changing our society. That evil scourge has been a part of our civilization always. It is a part of every civilization. The number of pedophiles and the number of victims of molestations has not been changed by the Internet. The ease of communication of the pedophiles has been increased just like the ease of my communication with my mother half way around the world has been improved but the actual crime has not increased. The only thing that has really changed is that we the average people are starting to take notice of the evil within our society. Instead of feeling that only other people's children are at risk of being molested we are seeing that our children are at risk as well. This of course has always been the case, our children have always been at risk but now we have a big spot light shinning on this evil corner of our society. Now we are going to stand together and do something about pedophiles.
I do believe that the increased access to communication and information is going to change the us and them aspect of our society and make the world we live in a very different much better place, eventually.
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9/06/2006 10:00:00 PM
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Blogging
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Colds
On Saturday afternoon Lily and I both came down with colds. Each day we wake up the cold gets a little worse. Last night was awful for me, and this morning even worse. I haven't had a head cold in a very long time so I am not sure if I am being a baby or if I am dying. It feels like dying. Lily on the other hand is business as usual. I am not entirely sure if she is handling her cold better than I am handling my cold because a) she is tougher or b) she isn't nearly as sick as I am.
I thought about it for awhile and decided that she is probably just less of a complainer than me so I decided to suck it up. I washed the dishes, folded the laundry, swept and mopped. The entire time I did those chores I felt a lot less sick. I then sat down with a cup of coffee and boom, the sickness returned. Seriously my nose would stop running while I am busy and gallons of snot runs out while I sit. What is up with that?
My classes started on Monday, I have a ton of assignments due today, and my brain is barley functioning. I guess I will show vast improvement as the course continues along its path, my professor will be so proud. Because the work I am about to do for today is going to bite, big time. I hope you can't catch a cold via the Internet. Oh, and to my husband and eldest daughter, perhaps if you would do the dishes, after eating the delicious meal I prepared for you, while I went to bed early, you wouldn't be exposed to my germs so much. Ya know!
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9/05/2006 05:53:00 PM
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Sunday, September 03, 2006
Complaining about Lily's allergies
Yesterday, I took Lily to her first ever birthday party (outside of the family). I have been avoiding them due to the cake issues. I have actually had nightmares, real nightmares. All the kids sit at the table and get a piece of cake. I tell Lily she can't have any cake due to her food allergies. She screams and all the moms tell me how evil I am not letting my baby have cake.
I spent the weekend trying to bake a cake without eggs or flour. The first one tasted great but was the texture of a gummy bear. The second one had a perfect cake texture but tasted like saw dust. I eventually got something decent, not great but decent and I brought a piece of cake to the party. When we got to the part where kids were getting cake, I slipped Lily's cake on a party plate and handed it to her. She did not notice the difference. She didn't eat it, but she didn't scream. She went about playing and having a great time. Poor girl thinks cake is gross.
It was a big hurdle for me, to let Lily go to a party. Doesn’t that sound weird? She had such a great time, I am so glad we went. I still haven't found the courage to do preschool or even a playgroup because they both have snacks. I just don't understand why a three hour long preschool or an hour long playgroup has to have a snack. I would have never even thought it was out of the ordinary if it were for Lily's allergies. I guess no one else thinks about those things either. I guess I could make a special treat for Lily, try to coordinate what I make for her with what will be served so she doesn't see the difference? Or I can just get her used to the idea that she eats differently? I am putting these decisions off for another year.
When I called to make Lily's doctor appointment for her three year old check up I was told they don't do well baby checks for three year olds. So I have to decide if I want to force the issue. I would like for Lily to have a check up. There really isn't a clear reason except that she has food allergies. I want to tell the doctor she still gets sick if she eats those foods. I am not really sure why, or what telling the doctor will accomplish. So far, we have been sent to Hawaii for extensive testing and they couldn't find the reason for her adverse reaction to eating those foods. They told me just don't give her the foods that make her sick. At every appointment there after I remind the doctor of her issues and they tell me she looks fine, just don’t feed her foods that make her sick. So, do I really need to go back and be told again not to feed her the foods that make her sick? On the other hand, shouldn’t her progress and growth be at least noted by the doctor? It is weird being in a military community, we get free health care, but we have to make a case for ourselves in order to get an appointment. Even if you do get an appointment and get to see the doctor you have to convince the doctor to take the time to give you their best efforts. More often than not people just dismiss you as abusing your free health care and they do their best to usher you out the door. I have found that the only way to get a doctor to listen to me is to bring Jeff. I took Lily to the doctor five times with her food allergies alone and was dismissed, I brought Jeff and we were sent to Hawaii. However, I have to convince Jeff that we need to see the doctor and that I am not over reacting. A part of me isn't sure, I mean what is the point?
Posted by
Marshamlow
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9/03/2006 06:03:00 PM
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Food Allergies
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Saturday, September 02, 2006
Volleyball and home
As the school year resumes so does volleyball. Mandy made the JV team. She is practicing for many hours everyday after school. Along with all the homework that comes with taking a rigorous course load and her paper route. She has gone from the summer schedule to the fall one, from afternoon naps and late night TV, to being busy from the moment her head leaves the pillow in the morning to the moment her head hits the pillow at night.
There are quite a few military bases in Japan and Korea, the high schools compete against one another in sports. This means leaving the base on a Thursday night, riding on a bus all night, playing games on Friday, sleeping on a gym floor, and playing more games on Saturday, riding the bus all night, getting home Sunday morning. Then there is the catching up on sleep & catching up on missed school work (Friday). All this for the away games, I volunteered to come along as a chaperone on one of the trips. Jeff will take the time off work and stay with Lily.
Volleyball has been the most amazing experience for Mandy. It is worth all the craziness and it only goes through the end of November. Which is very nice, since we are leaving in March and this will give her the opportunity to complete the entire season. Last year she earned a letter, I haven't got her the jacket yet. I am not sure what to do, She will be attending another school for 11th and 12th grade. Besides, with her summer job, the girls has more money than I do.
So where are we going in March? I have no idea. Doesn't it suck not knowing? We really, really, really, want to stay overseas. Send us anywhere. But, we are almost certain we will be sent back to America. No idea where. We did everything we could to stay overseas. Applied for every job available, the list of who got the overseas jobs comes out in two weeks, so keep your fingers crossed.
Whenever we go to America for a vacation or during a move it overwhelms us. The American culture is so fast and furious. It is a big adjustment. The aggressive driving, loud restaurants, pushy people. It scares me a little. It all seems so big and violent. Weird what the mind does to you, after being away for so long, it is America that seems foreign to me.
Yesterday, I spent the day wandering around Misawa with a friend. We walked for hours, up and down the main streets and back streets and we noticed how this seems so familiar to us now. When we first arrived we noticed everything about Japan that is different from America, but as we wandered the streets yesterday, all we saw were the things that are just like us. Where ever we go whatever we do, only 5 1/2 years until Jeff retires and we finally get to make a home for ourselves, a permanent home, we will get to be a part of a community instead of always the outsider. We will get our rocking chair, our front porch and settle in for forever. I wonder if we will love it, the settling in, or hate it?
Send good thoughts for an overseas assignment, think Europe. And good thoughts for the Volleyball team.
Posted by
Marshamlow
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9/02/2006 06:04:00 PM
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Family
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