Receptive and Expressive Language Delay

I wrote here back in the fall that Lily's kindergarten teacher believed that she had something called a receptive and expressive language delay. I agreed with that assessment and was happy to have a name for what I had noticed about Lily. I feel that I have a similar way of perceiving the world and that I completely understand. My perception is that for Lily and sometimes for me the world of language is difficult. For example depending on your skills I would ask, Have you ever listened to a poem and known every word spoken individually but had no idea what was said? But, listened a few more times took some time to concentrate and finally started to understand what the poem was saying. Or the same can be asked about an algebra problem or geometry. Right we have all been in situations where we had to really focus to understand the concepts being told. Where any noise in the room or stray thought could distract us and make the comprehension diminish. This is how Lily feels all the time. While she is capable of hearing and understanding every word spoken to her is difficult to get into her brain, it takes a lot of effort on her part.

The plan was for Lily's teacher to have the speech therapist evaluate Lily. Which happened and the speech therapist said she completely agreed with the teacher because Lily was asked questions and her answers did not match what was being asked. Like she would be asked what she was doing and she would answer about the weather. The teacher said that this would be passed on to the lead teacher who would schedule an appointment for the teacher, parent, speech therapist, and lead teacher to get together and map out a plan.

I never heard back. Finally when I got the first report card after half the year was over I scheduled a conference with the teacher. Meanwhile, Lily was doing great in school and on the standardized tests. I talked to the teacher and she said that Lily is not eligible to meet with the speech therapist or head teacher or to get a plan because her receptive language delay is not interfering with her academically. She then went on to tell me all kinds of things that have happened that indicate to her that Lily is still having the same difficulties in class.

I was upset to say the least. I feel like my kid is being punished because I am an involved parent who works with her at home. I feel that she should be allowed to have the highly paid, highly educated experts take a look at her situation and give us some guidance. I am doing my best but some expertise might make a huge difference in Lily's development. I am not asking for her to be pulled out of class on a daily basis and privately tutored, I am asking for a meeting, for some input. But, no at Lily's school you have to be failing to be eligible for help. Even if you have a learning disability and there are people in the building specially trained in this stuff they wont even speak to me unless she is failing. Am I the only one who thinks this is a bunch of crap?

Lily's teacher is great, most of the time. She tells me when Lily is struggling with something and I work with her at home. She often times doesn't understand the instructions and I have to explain it at home. I guess I am finding a way to get into her head because so far I have been able to help her understand things that she fails to understand at school. One time her teacher pulled her ear and told her to use her ears and listen. Which upsets me because that seems unfair when it is so much harder for Lily to listen than it is for the other children. I called her and spoke to her about the ear thing, Lily says her ear was pulled the teacher said it was touched, either way I didn't like it. I didn't say that but having made the phone call meant it didn't happen again.

Lily's school work often comes home with the words, follow directions or listen to your directions written on the paper. Lily asked me one time if it was ok if she tears up those papers and throws them away. I said yes. We go over the directions and recreate the page and she does it the way the teacher wanted but the paper with the mean words Lily tears it up. She then wads it up and then we take turns stomping on the paper and throw it away. Lily likes that. She hates being corrected. She gets corrected all the time because she mostly doesn't hear the instructions. So, I let her take out her frustrations at home.

So, why is Lily doing so well academically and on the standardized tests if she has a receptive and expressive language delay? Because she is brilliant? Just kidding. She really has a strong desire to do well. She is very motivated. I am not really sure that I instilled that motivation in her. I encourage that motivation and reward that motivation with a lot of praise but she has that in her. IF a child doesn't have the internal motivation to want to do well in school I don't know how you would put it there.

Working with her I try to be there for her, to encourage and to explain things in non-verbal ways as much as possible. I let her explain it back to me. I take the time to listen to her. I think that hearing how her mind is working helps me to be able to fit the missing pieces into her head in a way that she can understand. I have her draw me pictures of the classroom or playground when she is trying to explain things to me.

The number one most important piece of advice I can give is to focus on the strengths. If a child loves something and is interested in something focus almost all the attention on that and just do enough to get by on the areas where they are struggling. I know that sounds exactly the opposite but it facilitates the love of learning and their interests change. It also helps to not build up a hate or frustration.

Any receptive and expressive language advice out there?

Kindergarten Testing

Lily's school has thus far given her two standardized tests. One was administered by the school counsilor and Lily scored very high, way above average on her ability to read for a kindergartener. The other test was adminstered by her teacher and on that test Lily scored about average or even below average on her ability to read. The teacher wrote in the note that the kids were sat at a computer and had to listen to the computer asked questions and then respond.

The school says that these tests are given in order to establish where the children are when they enter the school in order to monitor if they are improving. I guess to assess if the teacher is actually teaching the kids.

In the first test there isn't a lot of room for improvement as she maxed out on the test. They were not testing if she could write her name, because she definetly could use some improvement on that. This was a test to see if she could read and she can read apparently very far above her grade level.

The second test was controlled by the teacher. I think that a) the teacher's impression of Lily is that she is not all that bright. Because she doesn't listen and she can't write. But this was a test to see if she could read. The categories on the test are things like can she recoginize her letters, match the capital and the lower case - she scored very low there - which is an obvious testing error becuase she could do this very well since she was two year old. Lily has a fondness for letters and numbers and flashcards are one of her favorite toys. She lines them up in ABC order first capital and then lower case - for years. If the tests says that she cannot identify which capital letter goes with which lower case letter the test is flawed. Or is it the test taker? B) This teacher's assessment of her job is based on Lily's improvement - is it really in her best interest to say that Lily has maxed out on everything at the beginning of the year. Doesn't really make her look all that good.

I guess that makes me sound like I don't trust or like the teacher. I do trust her and like her very much. I just feel that this test is not a reflection of Lily's abilities and that the other test backs me up. At least there is the other test.

I don't know if I should say anything to the teacher. Like, your test is completely wrong. I don't think that this test is reflective of anything other than the teacher's opinion and my telling her she is wrong is not going to change her mind. Perhaps I will say something at the parent teacher conference. I have not as of yet told the teacher that Lily reads at home.

Lily's hand writting is improving by leaps and bounds. We still get what I call nasty grams on her school work, things like:

practice your handwritting

practice writting your name

color in the lines

or my favorite

don't scribble

We have had one "good job". I saved it. I don't read the mean ones to Lily. We do practice handwritting every day. She loves to practice handwritting and we sit at the table and she is the teacher and tells me what to do and how to do it. At first I was correcting her and very worried about teaching her to make it perfect. But, that isn't how I taught her to read or count and that method has never worked with Lily, especially when I tried to potty train her. {shudders}

So I am taking a back seat, I am encouraging her to learn to write on her own. I give her the resources, like examples. But, I give encouragment for her efforts in order that the effort is fun and she will continue to practice. A part of me feels that I am not being hard enough on her and she needs to be told she is doing it wrong, when appropriate, but experience tells me that method doesn't work well when it is one on one her and me.

When I was helping Mandy with her homework as a elementary school student (she is now a senior) I would grab the pencil out of her hand, take the paper and show her how it was done. I was very smug and she always felt like I was saying she was stupid. So I sit on my hands, I have grabbed the paper from Lily, but I try, and I am working on listening and encouraging.

I guess I just took a major detour from the subject of kindergarten testing. I am a little frustrated that this one test did not accurately reflect Lily's ability to read. It did accurately reflect her ability to listen and follow directions. I guess I feel those are two entirely different things. But, I am asking you, does it matter?

One possible scenereo is that by the end of the school year Lily's teacher's test will show that she is now way above average and attribute Lily's success to her great teaching abilities. Another scenerio is that at the end of the year the teacher will still beleive Lily is on the slow side of average. I don't know that it actually matters what this one woman believes. As long as Lily does progress in the areas she needs help like writting and listening, abilities that are not tested. perhaps that is not entirely true as a person who is not able to listen well does not do well on reading tests where there are complex directions which must be followed in order to establish you understand the that B and b are both the same letter in different forms.

Do I tell the teacher that my child is brillant?

I am just home between volunteering at Lily's school and driving Mandy to the orthodontist. My schedule seems to have gone from having nothing to do to having more to do than ever. I am having a great time.

I am trying to not over volunteer at the school. I am trying to not volunteer to do anything that would put me in direct contact with Lily. I do have lunch with her sometimes. OK, more than sometimes. I find that I go there to the school for one reason or another nearly everyday.

Yesterday I had to buy myself a new dress, a dress to wear to a wedding. I had such a great time. I was in no hurry. Later I had to go to the school for Kindergarten Curriculum night. The teacher explained in detail all that will happen in Kindergarten. Of course this is the same information we got the day before school started when we went to meet the teacher. It is also the same information which is sent home with Lily. It is a little frustration to get all this information so many times.

At the Kindergarten curriculum night I discovered that they are learning to identify their letters and numbers. That they are learning to count to 10. I am wondering if I should mention to the teacher that Lily knows how to count to 100. She can literally count to 100 forwards and backwards. She can also identify all of those numbers out of sequence and in sequence. She also knows how to spell and read several words that start with each letter of the alphabet.

There are a ton of things that the teacher is teaching that Lily does not know. But, I wonder if it would be useful for her teacher to know that Lily is so far advanced in these things. If I should send her an email. The teacher has not asked, should I offer her this information or is that bragging?

Lily is having trouble following directions. She is having trouble writing her name and coloring in the lines. I work with Lily on the things she needs to learn at home. It is slow going, but now she is at least interested in these things. Before she was not receptive to leaning to write. What do you think, should I write the teacher an email about how advanced Lily is? Or should I let her figure it out for herself? Currently I think she is under the impression that Lily is a little on the slow side. Due to the fact that Lily is not very good at interacting with the teacher or listening to the teacher. What do y'all think?