Evil Woman

Market Magic

Momsense

Today we had to go up to the base for me to register for my proctored exam. For those of you unfamiliar with proctored exams, my college, the University of Maryland University College requires that I take my final exam with someone who is certified to administer such exam I guess to ensure that I do not cheat. All my course work except the final is conducted via the Internet. I have a lot of stuff I read, a lot of course work and projects, I even have group projects and class discussions. I love learning in this environment, going to the classroom is more fun, meeting new people-making fun of the professor etc. But this way I learn more, I am a hands on learner, so reading the book and doing the work, having discussions it works for me.

I first got directions to the Education center on the base. Jeff was busy but he got me the directions which he told to me over the phone while I was driving. Luckily Mandy was with me and she wrote it all down. So, either it was given wrong or written down wrong but we couldn't find the building we needed.

We did find the Thrift store which I have been looking for. This is where one goes to join the Base Spouses club, which I did, I also bought Lily a toy school bus, and Mandy two books and me one book all for a dollar. I asked everyone in the building I could find for better directions to the education center. I found out that the name of the building had changed, that was helpful. Still no one really knew the name of the street. So we got back in our little black car in the middle of summer in Mississippi and drove around some more. We finally found the building we needed. Whoo - hoo.

We walked around this building for about an hour, it was a maze of dark hallways and steel doors. Round and round, up and down we searched for room 212. I couldn't even find a person to ask. I walked past 100's of offices and not a person in the halls. I was a bit intimidated to poke my head into a room, might be a top secret location. Not.

Jeff finally returns my call, I tell him his directions suck that I found the building but I am somehow lost inside. I ask him for the phone number or some sympathy. Just then I saw a guy, he was buying a coke out of a machine. Right in the middle of my conversation with Jeff I asked the guy for directions. He told me the secret to finding room 212, you have to go down that hall, about halfway, turn left, go down that hall until you find the double door, go through the double door that says on it, keep this door closed at all times, turn right, go to the end of that hall and through more double door, turn immediately right and through the single metal door this takes you to the other section, then you go up the stairs, through the double doors, take the fourth left, to the end of the hall, right and it is the second door on the left. I am not lying! Well now that I know how to get there we found the education office.

I almost hugged the lady at the education office, until she told me that the proctored exams are not there, but at the library. You would be proud to know I found my car, drove around for 15 minutes and found Jeff's work. We went in, used the restroom, said hello, and then went just down the street to the library.

Loved the library. Nicest people I have ever met, we checked out many books, registered for the exam, and were on our way. Lily fell and skinned her knee, fell asleep in the car on the way home, but otherwise an uneventful day.

funny

Here is a funny to make up for my lack of blogging. I hope you enjoy it, there is audio.

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.



2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!



3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.



4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.



5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.



6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.



7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.



8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?



9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.



10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

-author unknown, came to me via an email.

Hu's on First