Relay for Life

We all had a great time at the relay.

I baked, and baked for the bake sale, so did all my friends. There wasn't the turn out we expected and we ended up with a lot of left over goodies. Which was a disappointment.

The relay was supposed to go from 5pm until 5am on Friday. Jeff arrived at the venue around 8am. He called me around 10:30am to join him for lunch. I ended up getting a lot of phone calls, I tried to get the last sheet of cookies baked from the batch I was working on, I took a shower and I didn't end up getting to the field until after 11am. Not bad I thought. By then Jeff was busy with other things and instead of going to grab a quick lunch he put me to work. I was kneeling in the field putting up the cancer eduction signs and ended up getting a stinging rash on my legs from something I knelt in, I also got a sunburn. Then we got lunch. I didn't get home until almost two and therefore didn't end up baking any more cookies. Which is good since I didn't sell half of what I had already baked.

I then drove around delivering t-shirts to my team. Got home just in time to get Lily from the bus. She had spent the day outside for field day. She was covered in bug spray, sun tan lotion, sweat and a sunburn. I decided what she needed was a bath. I felt it would be more comfortable for her to spend the night outside if she wasn't all itchy and gross the whole time. She was not amused. This was not a part of the plan. We had discussed the plan for weeks and she was furious with me that I was giving her an unscheduled bath and we were leaving an hour late. I also made her eat a good meal. We made it to the relay by 4pm. Lily was clean, re-sprayed with bug spray and had a belly full of nutritious food. She spent the rest of the night eating pizza, hot dogs, cookies, brownies, cupcakes and I don't even know what else.

My friends came out and stayed for hours and hours. Everyone put an enormous amount of effort into the event. We had so much fun together. It was a swirl of activity and it was 5am before I had a chance to blink.

Lily slept from around 9:30 until 11 or so, and then she was up for the rest of the night. She must have ran 10 miles. She just kept running and having a blast. She won a whistle at one of the game booths and blew that thing all night. Drove loads of people mad, they complained about the whistle a lot. She would get upset when I asked her to stop. Mostly I thought that with the loud music and general loudness of the event that a whistle added to the overall party atmosphere and mostly I let her blow it to her hearts content. There were other types of noise makers as well.

At the end the three of us, Jeff, Lily and I carried our baton and our sign around the track together. It was fun.

I saw girls there who were not much bigger than our Lily and they were wearing the purple t-shirt indicating that they were cancer survivors. Lily was walking and talking with the girls, I was behind them a bit. I just tear up at the moment to see Lily so full of health and life running around a track until 5am. I cannot imagine how it would be to endure having a child sick with cancer. So glad to see those two girls full of health and vigor at the event. This is why I relay - I love to see so many survivors and I want to contribute to more people having a good outcome.

During this journey to the relay, the months of meetings and emails that brought us to the night, I met so many wonderful people. Cancer survivors and others like me who have been touched by cancer via family members. So many of these folks work so hard and with such grace. There are the frustrations and the complainers but overall I witnessed the most amazing bits of human spirit during this journey. I hope to learn to be less of a complainer and more of a -I don't know what to call it - a person who works hard toward a goal and lets it all just roll off their back with a great attitude and never sweats the small stuff.

If you ever are lonely I recommend volunteering, you meet the best people and your outlook on the world is forever changed.

Relay for Life

It is finally here tonight is the relay. Thanks to everyone who sponsored me. I hope I will be able to entertain you with great stories when it is all done. I am currently baking oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for our team's bake sale. Baking all day, walking all night.

If you are interested in sponsoring me you can go here: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/marshamlow

Please help me raise more money than Jeff!

Busy, Busy Me

Mandy had her prom last Saturday. What a day. She had taken the day off from work but was asked to come in from 8am until noon to help in the flower department. So many people were getting bouteniers and corsages and they needed Mandy. So she got up early, her least favorite thing in the world and went in to work. I often worry that she is not helping around the house and therefore has entitlement issues and I have raised one of those people. It turns out she puts others first, except at home. I can live with that.

I put her hair up in rollers. I love fixing hair. I am not great at it but she was happy with the results. I did her make up once a few years ago and she hated it. Mandy almost never wears makeup so she had her friend come over to help.

I tried to get my work done, which is up to about six hours a day now, in the morning. Lily had some sort of virus and was throwing up. I spent the entire morning cleaning up puke and tending to Lily. I then planned on doing my work after Mandy left for the prom. However, Mandy's friend's mom came to the house along with her daughter and decided she couldn't figure out how to drive home and back again and invited herself to stay at our house until the girls came home from the Prom. I ended up not being able to do my work until Sunday. Which I usually have off. I emailed my boss and asked permission but she ended up not getting the email and gave me hell about it.

Mandy's date decided to come and pick up the girls first and then the other boy. Mandy's friend's mom was not going to be able to get a picture of her daughter's date. So I offered to drive behind the kids to the next house, where we took even more pictures. After the kids left we got the other mom and the three of us went to Wal-Mart where we printed out and shared all the pictures we had just taken. We got frames for our favorites and the girls came home to an album and framed pictures of thier night.

We moms then went out to have some coffee and visit. When they closed down the coffee house we went back to my house and watched what turned out to be everyone's favorite movie - Ever After! A very fun night, worth getting trouble for blowing off work. I really tried to get it done.

This entire week is going to be so busy too. Saturday is the Relay for Life. I am a team captain for the first time this year. It turns out that Mandy's senior trip is also this week so she will not be able to help out. My team is having a bake sale. This week I am baking and getting the sign ready etc. Wish me luck!

Thanks to everyone who has sponsored me. I will take lots of pictures and tell lots of stories. If you would like to help me raise money for the American Cancer Society by sponsoring me to walk all night long click here!

Credit Crunch: Credit score is over 800 still I was denied $300 credit

What? Here is the story.

My 18 year old daughter and I spent the day at the community college she plans to attend in the fall, because we are good with money and know we cannot afford a four year college. This is why my FICO score and my husband's FICO score are both above 800. Our only debt is our house and our new car. Nothing else, no student loans, no medical bills, no credit cards, etc. We do have several credit cards in our wallets with nice limits, but we pay them off every month. We like to use them as much as possible and collect points for free stuff. We are currently saving points for airline tickets to Lake Tahoe in 2011.

Mandy and I stopped by the bank on our way home from the college day. Her bank where she has several thousand dollars saved and where I also have an account and have several thousand dollars saved, they do not allow kids under the age of 18 to have a debit card or checking account. Now that she has turned 18 I wanted her to get a checking account, a debit card and a credit card. I want her to start to build credit and learn to pay bills. It is hard to figure out money and no matter how many things people tell you, the skills come from handling money.

I was planning to co-sign for Mandy's credit card. We asked what was the smallest limit they offered and it was $300. We filled out all of Mandy's information, she earns more than a thousand dollars per month at her job and has a savings account with several thousand dollars, a history with this bank but no credit. We filled out my information, I make a little under a thousand dollars per month at my part time job. They looked us up and said that I cannot co-sign a loan for Mandy because my house payment plus my car payment each month add up to more than what I earn each month. Even though both of those items the house and car are in both my husband and my name, they will not let me co-sign for a $300 credit card for my daughter because I don't personally earn enough money, my husband has to sign for the credit card. So if he were deployed right now we would not be able to borrow any money. They cannot look and see how much my husband makes even though we are both liable for the payments.

Does that make sense?

I just wanted to point out to the universe how the credit crisis is effecting women. All women who have chosen to be the primary care giver of the family, if you chose to put your family first and career second, you are no longer able to borrow money based on yours and your husband's finances you have to have his permission to borrow money. No matter if you have been with a bank for year and paid every bill on time for years, no matter if you have a credit card in your purse from that bank allowing you to borrow thousands of dollars. Two of my friends with older kids who do not work said that they were able to co-sign for their kids credit cards w/o their husband's signature last year or in years previously. Another one of my friends who does not work told me that last year she borrowed money and bought her husband a car as a birthday present w/o his signature. Now, I was not allowed to co-sign for $300.

It feels so scary. What if I wanted to divorce my husband? What if he didn't want to help me? Would I be able to get an apartment? Would I be able to get utilities in my name? It is very scary. I was so proud of my credit score too.

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I am trying to raise money for the American Cancer Society by walking in the Relay for Life on April 24th. Our team will walk for 12 hours in a relay, if you would like to sponsor me Click Here. They money goes to fund research, pays for cancer prevention education, and helps people who have been diagnosed with cancer in programs that help with things like reimbursing gas money or buying wigs etc. Hope you can help!

Mandy's 18th Birthday

My sweet little baby turned 18 last week. We had a week long celebration. As luck would have it the Mardi Gras celebrations coincided perfectly with her birthday. The kids were on holiday from school Monday thru Wednesday. The universe was telling us to PARTY.

Mandy had some friends over on Tuesday. They brought all their video game stuff. We rented a volleyball net for the yard. I bought all the decoration that Mandy requested. I cooked all the food (sushi) Mandy requested. Other than that I took a backseat. Mandy decorated and greeted guests. As soon as all the food was done and out, Lily and I disappeared into the bedroom.

Lily was completely beside herself that Mandy's friends were not at all interested in Lily or anything she said or did. Poor girl. She spent the entire party trying to win over Mandy's friends, when I let her out of my room that is. She even invited many of Mandy's guests to her birthday party on July 14th as they were leaving. It cracked me up.

Lily and I were hiding in the bedroom. Watching cartoons and spilling chocolate milk all over the carpet. The party was scheduled to last from 12 until 5. At 5 we came out of the room and I started to clean up some of the empty food trays and empty glasses. The kids were outside playing volleyball. They hit the ball over the fence for the second time and they all went around the block to ask for the ball back. The behind us neighbor was not at home and as they all came back to the house many of them started to go home. We still had about 5 kids and they were playing video games. They had the rock star one, with drums, guitars, microphones. It was a game that a large group of people could play together.

The kids, Mandy included invited me to play with them. I said no a few times but they kept asking and finally I gave it a try. I had always wanted to play those games and I had so much fun. I never won at all not even close but I had a blast. It got to be 5:30 and none of the kids looked like they were leaving, I called Jeff and asked him to pick up some pizza on his way home. We fed them again. They all stayed until after 9. Jeff refused to play any of the games. What a poor sport. Can you imagine coming home from 12 hours of work, having to stop to get pizza and then having 6 teenage kids loudly playing video games in the living room. Poor Jeff. He and Lily hung out in the bedroom, me I was addicted to the games.

The kids were so nice. I have never in my life been included in one of Mandy's birthday parties. She not only invited me but she interacted with me as did all the kids. They made me feel really welcome and we all had a really fun time. They are really nice kids. They thanked me for the food, talked about their future plans, even asked for advice.

That day or maybe later something inside of me shifted. Mandy is an adult. I was able to keep her alive from birth to adulthood. Really nothing is changing at our house having arrived at this milestone. But, in a weird way it feels as if it has all changed. I am proud of myself, raising Mandy has been the single biggest accomplishment of my life. I feel that I did a good job, a great job. All that work, all that sacrifice and worry and the insurmountable vastness of it all - in the end we made it through with flying colors. Mandy is an amazing woman. She is the kindest person I have ever met, with more empathy than seems humanly possible, yet she manages to balance that with self esteem. She is able to feel compassion while putting herself first, giving without being depleted. She is one tough cookie that sweat heart. I thoroughly enjoy the role of parent of an adult, where I advise but ultimately I am no longer in control, I like the feeling of handing over the reins. I am a total control freak and I usually get frustrated when things are not just so, but less than a week into 18 I am liking being support staff and not the CEO of Mandy's life.

Of course she still doesn't know what she will do with her life, nursing is starting to seem like it will not be for her because of the blood and dying. Marine biology is seeming maybe not for her because of all the science. Even changing jobs this summer from the grocery store cashier job she hates to something full time that is less back breaking labor being spit on by customers and more sit at a desk and gossip type work - is feeling like too much for her to think about right now. I suggest she ignores. I think, well if she wants to cashier all summer, then that is what she will do. Last week her ambivalence was grating on my nerves something fierce, this week I am empathising with the whole she feels overwhelmed thing. Her dad is still completely frustrated with her, so at least she will be nagged by someone.

Life continues on even if it is always changing.

By the way friends, I am trying to raise some money for the American Cancer Society, I sent out emails to everyone in my address book, but if I somehow missed you... I am the team captain for a Relay for Life team called Pac Man (Parents Against Cancer -Man) the theme of our relay is the 80's. If you are interested in making a donation Click Here.

Relay For Life

Last night was the Relay for Life, thank you very much for all your contributions. We were able to exceed our goal. Jeff volunteered me as the online chair yet didn't tell me what to do. Then I was sent a 80+ page manual on how to run the website. What I didn't know was that I was supposed to solicited information out of the teams and email and post that information. Now I know. I was invited to do the job again next year, even though this year I only did my job for a week. I guess that is the great thing about being a volunteer.

Jeff won the spirit award for his team. He has a lot of spirit and this year he used a bull horn.

This was my first year attending the event. If you have never attended a relay for life event, you should find one near you and check it out. We had a blast.

It all starts with the introduction of the cancer survivors in our area. Some speeches are made by some of the survivors. Thanks are given. And then the relay begins. The object of the relay is for each team to keep at least one person on the track the entire night, from 6pm until 6am. The first lap around the track is done by the survivors in their purple shirts. Next lap is done with survivors and their caregivers. I cried. It is very moving to see all the people in your area, your neighbors and to see those who have fought and won and those who are fighting, young and old. Last year a young girl came with all of the hospital bracelets she had accumulated throughout her entire life, a mountain of them. She wanted to keep those bracelets on the track all night and Jeff offered to help out, he was proud to carry her bracelets.

Next the teams all come onto the track with their banners. There is a contest for best banner. And then at least one team member is to be on the track for the entire night, each team has a baton and that baton must stay on the track. There is a baton contest too. They had some pretty terrificly creative batons last night. Jeff was in charge of pictures so there are none.

The next part of the relay for life is to remember those we have lost. This is done during the luminaries portion of the evening. After the sun sets bags with the names of those to be remembered written on them are lit with a candle inside. There is a ceremony. I wasn't able to make it to the ceremony as it was way past Lily's bed time, but Jeff lit one for his dad and Mandy lit one for her great-grandma.

Finally the last purpose of the relay for life is to fight. We fight against cancer in two ways, one is in coming together and two is in raising money for the American Cancer Society. Each team gathered donations, and I thank everyone who donated, we also had fund raisers before the event and then the actual event is a big fund raiser. It was a carnival. Each team set up a booth selling something fun to do or something good to eat. One of my favorites was throwing a wet ball at someone's face, they stick their face through the hole and you get four chances to nail them right in the kisser for a dollar. Lily tried a bunch of times. There was also a dunk tank and face painting, all kinds of great food. We ended up spending more than $100 just goofing off. And all that money goes to the American Cancer Society.

I had never been to a relay for life event before so I thought I would do a little recap for you. I hope that you take some time to check out the relay in your area, they should be going on pretty soon. Having a great time, eating great food, and having that money go toward curing cancer what could be better. Check out the website to find a relay near you.