Goodbye Spuds

Tomorrow is the first of September, and I am ready to get back on the fitness wagon. The temperatures have dropped a bit and I am hoping we are all ready to begin the couch potato to 10K in twenty weeks program. At least I am going to attempt this project.

Before we were all talking about doing this program together and running in a 10K together and having a fun girls weekend afterward. We ran into the snag of it being too hot to train. Now we are running into the snag of finding a 10K to run in together. Getting time away from family and the expense of travel is a coveted treasure for most of us and perhaps running in a 10K is not enough of an incentive to use up this coveted treasure. Especially when we have the opportunity to run in 10K's in our local area for free or for not very much money. Not everyone has enough confidence in the program that they would be able to actually run 10 Kilometers. And some of us just don't run.

Kim had a lovely suggestion, that we get together at the Mall of America. This got me to thinking that perhaps it would be fun for us to plan a get together that is not revolved around a 10K. I am not really a shopper, but the Mall of America is a fine choice. Perhaps we can have two separate things going on here. One is a get together, the other is a living more healthy support group.

For the support group, we can each of a set a goal for taking better care of ourselves. My goal will be to run in a 10K, I can do that here locally. Your goal can be something else. I can write a post about our group one day a week, say Monday. We can all talk about our progress, our setbacks, give advice, commiserate, whatever.

For the get together, it could be in celebration of meeting our goal, or it could be a completely separate thing. We can pick a place and find a way to do it for a reasonable cost and have ourselves a girls weekend.

I have fallen out of love with the Spuds Gone Wild, does anyone have a better suggestion? Does anyone like this idea of an online support group, where we each set a personal goal (fitness, eating, weightless, peace of mind)and we talk about our progress on Mondays. A little support a little accountability. It is every so embarrassing to set a goal and have to admit that you are a slacker.

Thursday Thirteen # 8

I have always enjoyed doing the Thursday Thirteen and thought I would give it another try...

1. Yesterday, I spent the entire day in my PJ's watching all the two year anniversary of Katrina stuff on TV. I don't know that I have anything to add except to say that I found all the national coverage was very hopeless and all the local coverage was very hopeful. People who came down here to report what is going on two years later showed all the bad glossing over all the good. People covering the story from local stations emphasized all the good and glossed over all the bad.



2. I also noticed that getting money from insurance companies and FEMA seems to be pretty biased toward people who are middle class and above.



3. There but for the grace of God go I. I can't imagine having to live in a FEMA trailer, having to continue to pay my house payment and insurance payment, while not getting any money for two years. I can't imagine my baby having to use a port-a-pot toilet at elementary school in the hot Mississippi sun. I wish I knew what to do.



4. This thing about perspective confuses me. For some families this experience was the most powerfully good experience of their lives. The thousands of people who have come to help re-build. The millions of dollars that have been donated. Neighbor helping neighbor, it is the most amazing thing.



5. For others, this has been the most horrid experience of their lives. Shaking their faith in God and people. I am sure you have seen all these stories of the people left on roof tops, the people who waded through the waters across the bridge and were turned away with shotguns, the people still living in formaldehyde filled FEMA trailers, the school children in FEMA trailers with no running water and port-a-pots-still. Everywhere you look there is growth and there is slab after slab of homes and businesses that have not been rebuilt.



6. Many people believe that you choose your perspective, that how you see this hurricane Katrina and her aftermath is a choice you make. Do you see all the good things or do you see all the bad things? I believe that at least in this case, perspective is not a choice that you make it is a choice that is made for you. I know that if I lost everything and two years later still had no hope of ever getting out of the FEMA trailer, I would not have a good perspective of humanity. But, if some strangers came and built me a new home, I think I might have a different outlook on humanity.



7. When we bought our house, we were forced to buy home owners insurance from one company, windstorm insurance from another company, and flood insurance from a third company. The windstorm insurance people finally sent us our receipt for our policy, the hard copy of our policy last week, six months after they cashed our check. For a lot of people, who had insurance, the flood insurance people say-it was the wind and the windstorm insurance people say it was the flood. They all expect people who lost everything to provide proof of what they owned, like photos or receipts? Right now the amount of money we pay toward insurance is more than the amount of money we pay toward our loan. If anything were to happen I wonder if all that would make a difference.



8. What are your thoughts on Katrina two years later? Is this an example of everything that is wrong with our country? Or is this an example of how when a situation is too much for the systems we have in place we all band together and reach into our hearts and find a solution? What is your perspective?



9. We have a four day weekend, starting tomorrow with no plans. I think I need to get out of the house and have some fun.



10. School starts on Tuesday, I am so excited about the class I am taking. However, my professor of my previous class has still not finished grading our stuff, so I wonder how I did there???



11. I finished reading Flirting with Forty, even though I was supposed to read Between, Georgia first and I still haven't finished The Memory Keepers Daughter or Baby Proof. I really like Flirting with Forty, I can't wait for our discussion.
    



12. So I read in the paper that Mississippi is the fattest, poorest, worst educated people in our country? What is up with that? I can't help but wonder, am I living in an area that is an exception to this because of the military community or due to being on the coast or because we happen to live in a really nice city? Is my perception off because I want to see the good or am I just living in an area that is unusually nice for Mississippi?
    



13. I need to get busy on Lily's quilt, so far I have bought the material, washed and ironed the material. My goal is to do the cutting and get something sewn this weekend. What about you, any weekend plans?

Happy TT. To find more lovely lists of Thursday Thirteens visit:
The Thursday Thirteen website
Technorati Thursday Thirteen tag.

By the Light of a Night Light

Last night I put Lily to bed at about 8:30PM then I laid down for a quick nap before having to pick up Mandy from school at about 10PM. They had an away volleyball game, so the poor girl left the house at 6AM and did not return home until after 10PM and still had to do homework. Poor girl.

When Mandy and I got home, I heard noises coming from Lily's room. She was having quite the conversation, two hours after I had put her to bed. I popped my head in to see what was up. Lily was on the floor reading a book to her Lamby by the light of her night light. Around her on the floor were dozens of books, I am assuming books she had previously read. It really cracked me up, she is only four and doesn't actually know how to "read", but there she was sneaking books late at night. Just like I did as a child and her sister still does. She knows all her books by heart and reads them with quite a bit of dramatic interpretation.

She was still mad at me this morning when she woke up for making her stop. First words out of her mouth were a continuation of our argument about going to bed the night before. I sometimes feel bad about forcing my kids to put the books down. The other day while Lily and I were having a room cleaning battle I was tempted to take away all her books until she assisted in the cleaning up, but I did not go quite that far. I did however load a butt load of baby dolls and their accessories into a garbage bag. I am pretty sure the books would have made more of an impact on her level of compliance.

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May I see your ID?

I am afraid I am not going to be able to watch the republicans liveStrong cancer forum today, if anyone else has the opportunity to see it at MSNBC.com live at 10AM central time, let me know what happens, OK?

At the dinner table the other night, I asked Mandy about her day at work. She is a cashier at a grocery store. She answered with the usual mumbled, "fine". I pressed the issue with some more questions, "anything interesting happen? any rude customers?" etc. Finally she told us a little story.

During Mandy's training they really emphasized the need to card anyone who might possibly be under the age of 40. Recently her boss amended this policy to tell her to card everyone who looks younger than 80. She also has to enter into the computer the person's birth date from their driver's license in order to process a purchase of alcohol. Mandy gets a customer who is purchasing beer, she asks for an id and the guy gets irate. He is obviously over 18, possibly over 40, but according to her boss she has to insist on an id. So the guy leaves the store in a huff without purchasing his beer. Don't know why, maybe he is offended? Maybe he doesn't happen to have an id on his person at the time? Anyways, we were reassuring Mandy that she did the right thing etc. I was speculating that sometimes men don't like to be told what to do by women, some men are just like that. I mean this guy went off on Mandy about the whole id thing and it was shocking, like where did that come from? I wondered if it was a male chauvinist thing?

Jeff then told us a story of a work related confrontation. Years ago as an Airman stationed in Korea during an exercise (training). Jeff was in charge of guarding the hospital. A police officer came to the hospital and this police officer was carrying a gun. Jeff had to tell the police officer that he could not bring the gun into the hospital. The police officer said that he was not allowed to unholster his gun. Jeff had to insist, telling the cop he could not enter the hospital with a gun. Jeff says that his gun (some machine gun thing) was bigger than the cops gun, and he eventually unholstered his gun and handed it over to Jeff. After giving the gun to Jeff the cop informs Jeff that they don't trust him with bullets so the gun is not loaded anyways. Jeff tells us that while his gun was bigger, they didn't trust him with any bullets either. So there you have it, Jeff's big confrontational story involving a standoff with a machine gun and a cop over who will give up their gun first, sans bullets.

I think perhaps this is one of those stories that Jeff has to tell. He is the world's best story teller, too bad he doesn't have a blog. Do you have any work related confrontational stories?

LiveStrong Presidential Forum- The Democrats

I just got done watching the two hour long LiveStrong Presidential Forum over at MSNBC.COM. I jotted down some notes. The Republicans will have their own separate forum tomorrow, each of the candidates who participated was given three minutes for opening comments and then sat down with Lance Armstrong and Chris Mathews to answer questions. While I am not an expert in politics by any means, cancer research and health care are primary concerns of mine. These issues will definitely impact how I vote. This is what I gleaned from this forum and I welcome your thoughts. To me politics is about discussion, I believe that we all want the same end result, world peace, no poverty, etc. How we achieve this is up for discussion, at least to me, but if you do not like to discuss politics I wont be mad if you take a pass on commenting today.

Senator Hilary Clinton, John Edwards, Governor Bill Richardson, and Congressman Dennis Kucinich were the participants.

The topic of Universal Health care was prevalent throughout the entire discussion. Each of the candidates are in favor of universal health care, of access to health coverage to all Americans. Their individual definition of what this really means to them differs greatly and was very difficult to pin down in some cases, this is what I learned.

Senator Clinton: Wants to work within the system we already have by implementing regulation of the HMO's, drug companies etc, these regulation would ensure that every American has health insurance, no one is denied based on pre-existing conditions, that all health coverage provides screening and preventative medicine. Her concern is that we keep the high standard of medicine that the rich people in our country currently enjoy but pass along this to the rest of our citizens as well.

John Edwards: Does not want to work with the HMO's, Lobbyists, drug companies wants govt to be separate watchdog over these companies who are the enemy and the reason our health care system is in crisis. He wants to give every American the choice between their current health care provider and govt insurance. The govt insurance would be paid for by getting rid of the tax cuts enacted by the Bush admin, he calls the govt insurance Medicare plus.

Bill Richardson: His ideas on universal health care were hard for me to pin down, his main theme was preventative medicine, personal accountability, healthier lifestyles, junk food in school, mandatory PE, smoking bans etc. His plans seems similar to Senator Clinton in working with insurance companies to give access to preventative medicine to everyone in the country. He was quite vague on this issue.

Dennis Kucinich: Not at all vague. His plan is no more for profit medicine in America at all. Completely eliminate health insurance industry, all monies for health care goes to medicine and none to doctors. We all pay into a national plan, plus what the govt currently give will be enough to give great medicine to everyone. No paperwork, no worries, doctors decide what medicine and treatments patients should receive and the government pays for it out of the big ole pot. The amount of money all collected together that we as Americans pay out toward health care and health insurance is enough to give the best care available to every American. He did not have an answer for the concern that this will diminish the competition aspect of our health care system which currently results in the best medicine in the world, if only for the rich.

The next big topic was research: Senator Clinton wants to double the budget for research, John Edwards wants to pay whatever it takes to find a cure even if it is billions of dollars - he feels that spending the money on cancer research now will save us money in the long run, Governor Richardson wants to increase the research budget by 206%, and Dennis Kucinich was incredibly vague in this answer. They were all in favor of stem cell research, Senator Clinton mentioned "ethical stem cell research", Edwards was pointedly asked if he supported creating embryos for the sole purpose of research and he said, he needed to hear more but his initial response was no. None of the others was asked about stem cell research specifically although they all made a point of mentioning that they favored it. Both Edwards and Clinton spoke about clinical trials, both want more people to have access to being able to have access to experimental drugs and treatments if the patients have informed consent. Leaving more consent in the hands of the patient and doctors.

The war. Each candidate talked about how the war was sucking up our budget and needed to be ended and those monies needed to be spent at home on things like universal health care, this was a very standard response.

Both Senator Clinton and John Edwards favor electronic medical records, none of the others were asked or spoke of this topic. Senator Clinton feels that not only would this help people like those displaced by Katrina but also would help in selecting patients for clinical trials based on their patient history and not based on who you know.

Some memorable moments were when Clinton said she wanted to end Bushes war on Science and enable the scientific community to reclaim their voice. Edwards said that every American needs to have the same access to quality health coverage that his wife has had. Richardson said, no one in his family has ever had cancer due to their healthy lifestyle choices and he wants that for the rest of the country (OK can you tell he rubs me the wrong way, I never said this was going to be unbiased reporting). Kucinich said he was a Vegan, the diet has a strong bearing on the our health and the way we feel, that he is 60 and his wife is 39 or 29 I forget and you do the math, then he held up his two fingers in the peace sign. He feels that food needs to be better labeled, that all the other candidates are in the pockets of big industry but not him, no pesticides, no genetic engineer food, no HMO's he says he wont take their money and he is all about us and not them.

I am still voting for Senator Clinton, but Edwards and Kucinich now have more of my attention. I believe that taking on the insurance industry in a frontal war like assault of Kucinich and Edwards in Naive. First, they have a lot of power and taking all that money away from all those really rich people would be a long and hard battle. Regulating them would have immediate consequences to the people who are in need of better health services. Slowly improving the system we have in my opinion would be the most savvy approach toward improving health care in America.

Don't miss tomorrows Republican LiveStrong Forum which can be seen at MSNBC.com live at 10AM central time.

Serenity Now

At the end of October Jeff's best friend Chad is coming to Mississippi to live with us for six months. He is a general contractor and came down with his church for a couple of weeks over the summer. After seeing the need for help in rebuilding homes two years after Katrina Chad decided to spend the entire winter here helping. He feels that having someone who knows what they are doing, someone who has a plan, will enable all the people who do come down to do work the opportunity to do the most good. Right now it is a mess. People come down and don't have the leadership necessary to get things done efficiently.

We wanted to help Chad in his efforts to make a difference in the world. For the most part he will be staying over in Pearlington with his church group, but on weekends he will come over here to try and find some paying jobs, and he will live with us rent free. That way he wont have to earn quite so much money and can spend more time doing volunteer work.

Sounds like a good idea, but it also sounds like it could go wrong in so many ways. One thing is for sure, if we don't tell Chad about my blog I can tell you exactly what I think of having Jeff's best friend in our home for six months. I told Jeff I hope our marriage survives this and he gave me a look like I killed a puppy.

Jeff: I asked you before I invited him.

To Jeff this means, I have consented and no matter what I cannot get upset about anything because, he asked me first.

We currently cannot afford to do a bunch of stuff I want to do, like paint the trim on the house, plant some grass in the bare spot in the back, get some entertainments center and book cases... I have a list a mile long of things we "need" for our new house. But, buying a new house, going to college, me not working, we have no money for these things. But, with Chad coming we all of a sudden have the money to turn our garage into a bedroom for Chad. See, I said Chad could come so this means I cannot get mad that we are spending money on Chad and not me.

Jeff saw this one coming and offered to let us spend some money on the house this weekend. So now we have no money, but we are spending money on the house and on Chad. Where is this money coming from? College... I could be taking more than one class at a time. See how selfish I am. This giving up space and money in order that Chad can make a real difference to a whole lot of families is hard for me.

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Food Allergies the Finale

I have been experimenting with Lily's diet since her fourth birthday. She is allergic to wheat, corn, egg, oat, apple, and tomato. Allergic is not really the right word but it is a word people understand. She is actually intolerant, like some people are allergic to milk and they swell up, have trouble breathing, go to the hospital etc. Some people have lactose intolerance, they get a belly ache from drinking milk. See the difference? Lily is ..... intolerant. Don't know which word or how many words to fill in that blank, it is to the best of my understanding a bunch of enzymes that her body has trouble digesting. Her symptoms were quite severe as a baby and we have been very careful with her diet ever since.

The doctor recommended that we try re-introducing those foods at the age of four just to see, because many kids out grow this thing that she has. So I did, re-introduce. For the last four years I have been cooking every meal for Lily from scratch. She eats four to five times per day. Do you have any idea how many dishes that is? It has been a real challenge trying to figure out something she will eat, something she can eat, and something she should eat. Sometimes I get so frustrated. Like when we go visit family, or go on vacation, or move, it was all a trial. I would mess up, Lily would get sick. Corn and wheat are often hidden in the most unlikely places and I would feed her something and it would contain one of her triggers and she would get sick. No fun.

Now, I had to try to get her to eat stuff. That was so funny. Now I am trying to coerce my kid into eating an Oreo, just try it sweetie. She looks at me like I must be on drugs. The other day I tried to get her to take a bite of scrambled eggs, she acted like I was trying to kill her. She wouldn't taste mac n cheese etc. The girl wants her broccoli and blueberries. Go figure.

I know you are thinking I am so lucky to have a girl who wants to eat fruits and veggies. I know, I am glad both my kids like fruits and veggies, unlike their momma. The problem is that those foods are not portable. When we have to eat dinner at Mandy's volleyball game, a sandwich is a lot easier than messy, perishable fruits and veggies. Did I mention she wont even taste bread.

I have been feeling so bad all this time, because Lily has been missing out on all the good foods. Missing out on all the traditional foods that we all eat and love. She apparently doesn't mind. I am sure that will change once she goes to school next year.

So far, and we have been doing this for 6 weeks, so far Lily has not had any reactions. Now I have no idea what to do with all my time. I fed Lily a peanut butter and banana sandwich for lunch, she helped me make it and after getting past her fear of the bread, she gobbled it down and asked for another. That took a total of 2 minutes. It usually takes me at least an hour to prepare and clean up for just one meal. My head is spinning with the possibilities.

Of course, Lily still wants all the homemade no processed food crap I have been feeding her for her whole life. Poor girl. I have gotten used to eating this way too. I really learned a lot about food and ingredients, I am not sure we will entirely change the way we eat. At least now we have a choice. Cross your fingers that it is really and truly gone for good and not going to bite me in the butt. I still keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Blog Redesign

I did redesign my blog and now I am not sure if I like it. It will most likely keep on changing until either I like it or I go back to school and am too busy to goof around with the layout.

If you want to add a third column to your Blogger blog, or any other advice you could possible think of in regards to Blogger, you should go check out Tips for new bloggers.

I have applied to Blogher to put ads on my blog. I have tried google ads, and amazon ads and never got a cent from either. Blogher ads pay not just if someone happens to click a link and then spend money, they pay you just for having the ad on your site. We shall see if they approve me. The requirements are simple, if you are interested go check it out, just click on the blogher ads link over at blogher. Maybe we will all become millionaires together.

Cell Phone Wars

Raising a kid on a military installation overseas has its advantages. While I am glad to be back in America there is an adjustment period going on. The best way to describe living in another country on a military base is like living in a small town in the 1950's. While we had access to the Internet and DVDs etc, there wasn't a lot of access to much of the American culture. Good or bad, we were far removed from America.

Our family had no cell phone for instance. We didn't really need a cell phone, every building on the base had a phone and they were all free. We didn't have to worry about letting our kids play outside unsupervised. The streets were crawling with unsupervised kids.

Most of the Americans who live overseas with the military do not learn the language. We know that we are only going to be in that country for a short time. Learning a language is hard. And we all have serious entitlement issues. Not knowing the local language in some ways isolates us all to the other Americans living there on the military installation with us. We are all far away from everyone we have ever known in our entire lives, all there are only so many other people who speak the same language as you. So you get to know your neighbor, your co-workers, everyone you encounter, you get to know them.

Moving back to America, the people here don't really need me. They all have their families. They all have friends. They have ties to this community and unlike living overseas I am an outsider. Isn't that weird. Living back in America I am more of an outsider than I was living in other countries?

Since we don't know anyone, when we got here we were wondering why in the world we would need, a phone line, and three cell phones. We did get two cell phones and thought that would be more than sufficient. Who are we going to call? Who is going to call us? Jeff hates cell phones. Therefore, Mandy usually carried one and I carried the other. Mandy would call and tell me to pick her up, to drop her off etc.

Mandy entered all her friend's phone numbers into the phone she used. She called it her phone. Jeff was upset, because he felt like it was his phone. He paid for it. But, he doesn't want to use it. As time goes by things change. We are making friends, we are getting calls, and Jeff needs a phone because of work. Poor guy.

What to do? Take away Mandy's phone that was never hers in the first place? What about if she needs to call me? Or if I need to call her? As her chafer we tend to need to keep in contact. Since Mandy has a JOB and earns money we decided to make her pay for the phone and get another one for Jeff. Mandy agreed, and we even got her unlimited text messaging on her phone. She has agreed to pay the cost of up keeping that phone, the monthly fee for that phone. So our little girl has her own cell phone. I never thought I would see the day.

I know that sound very quaint, every sixteen year old girl in America has her own cell phone, but we are still adjusting to being back in America. So it took us awhile. Here is the problem. There was a set up fee for the new phone, about 40 dollars, and I forgot to tell Mandy about all the user fees and taxes on the phone. The price I quoted to her was less than the actual price and I never mentioned the set up fee. Jeff things she should have to pay both the set up fee and the extra costs. That this is a life lesson, when the cell phone company says 9.99 per month plus 7.99 per month for unlimited text messaging, what they really mean is 40 dollars up front and 25 per month after all the extra charges. I think that Mandy is paying enough. I feel like I lied if I go back to her and tell her, it is actually going to cost... when I said it would cost... I am not the real world I am her mom and I don't feel comfortable being deceptive. What do you all think? Isn't it enough that she has to pay out monthly for her right to use a cell phone? Do I really need to get all technical on her? Not that I will listen to you or Jeff, just wondering.

Mandy is such a superstar. She did great at volleyball. Poor girl has a back to school cold. Every day she is out until at least 9PM due to volleyball and her job. Did I mention she is president of the Japanese club and after playing volleyball until 9PM she had to make fliers for tomorrows club fair at school. She is so busy and doing so well, I really want to reward her, but I also don't want her to leave home with too much entitlement. It is a fine line, or is it just me?

High School Athletics

So, no one wants a handmade gift from me? I don't blame y'all, I am not so good at the handmade, except baking. I am a great baker, must be because I am a great lover of all things baked. In order to participate in the pay-it-forward blogging challenge I am going to put the name of everyone on my blogroll in a hat and pick three names and send them something handmade, whether they like it or not!

Last night we went to the meet the athletes night for our city. Mandy is on the volleyball team and was one of the athletes introduced. This was my first chance to be a part of high school football in the south. This event was held at the stadium, the high school stadium. It was a very professional put together event. I have been to stage production that were not pulled off as well as this introduction of all the middle and high school athletes in our city.

The stands were filled with parents. Every child who participates in any type of athletics had his or her name read aloud. The announcer was more professional than most of the local TV anchors. The production went along smoothly the introductions were interspersed with cheer leading performances, band performances, dance performances. The mascot came out onto the newly redone field and peed. We all cheered. I am so excited for Friday night lights.

My family we are trying to acclimate ourselves to our current environment. In Japan we went to Sumo, to festivals, we tried to learn a bit of the culture and take part. Same is true of all the places we have gone. But, high school football, my girls are having a bit of trouble fitting in. Lily decided that during the national anthem she would talk very loudly. Shushing only increased her volume. We got a lot of looks. How dare our child disrespect the flag. At least Jeff was there in his uniform, otherwise we might have been beat down. In Japan we had to stand for the national anthem every stinking day at 4:30. Even in our own yard we had to stop what we were doing hand over heart in respect. Lily, we have taught her manners, they just didn't take. Mandy on the other hand spent her time reading a book. There she was on the field before the entire town, waiting her turn to be introduced, reading a big thick book. Even when the cheerleaders were cheering, even when the FOOTBALL players were introduced, Mandy had her nose in a book. I am surprised she had time to look up for her turn to be introduced.

Tonight is my night to work the concession stand for the volleyball buster club. Hopefully my volunteering will redeem us???

I noticed last night, kids in Mississippi are not fat. Everywhere you go, obese kids, not so much here. Here kids are tan, fit and polite. When a kid asks you a question, even if you are a Yankee stranger who doesn't belong, they say sir and ma'am. These are the best looking, best behaved kids I have ever seen in my life.

I didn't participate in much of anything while I was in high school. I am glad that I am pushing Mandy to participate. She isn't unwilling, she loves volleyball, but I think that if it weren't for the pushing she would be in her room reading. At least now she is out there in a football field reading. I am only teasing her, she doesn't read my blog anymore because when I post pictures of her it makes her so mad that she can't see straight. Cross your fingers that tonight her volleyball team has much needed success.

Pay It Forward: Gift Exchange

I have never actually seen the movie Pay It Forward I had actually never heard of it until this morning. Sitting in my lounge chair sipping the perfect cup of coffee, reading my morning blogs I came across an interesting challenge at Dixie Peach, and I have decided to participate...

Here is how it goes:

I will send a handmade gift to 3 random people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this Pay It Forward exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days, that is my promise! The only thing you have to do if you like, is in return pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

If you don't have a blog you can find another way to pay it forward and that is perfectly acceptable as well.

Steak for Dinner

I am the most socially awkward person alive. Jeff says I have issues. I am either too chatty and dominate the conversation or too quiet and wallflowery. I have not been able to find a happy medium. The hardest part of moving around so much for me is finding new friends. I bit the bullet this past week and went to a military spouses club function. It was excruciating, the making small talk, the standing alone not knowing what to do with my hands, the trying to remember to ask questions and not to dominate the conversations, trying to remember to take advice and not be a know it all. Does anyone else feel the urge to suppress themselves in order to make friends? I did ok, we will see. I signed up to join all the various monthly activities that are being held by our club. Things like a playgroup, bunko, bowling...I am going to be very busy if I do all this stuff every month. I guess that is the point. I am going to try very hard to go against my love of being a hermit and to put myself out there in an earnest attempt to enjoy this assignment to its fullest. Even if it kills me.

While at the function I won a $25 dinner gift certificate to Logan's Roadhouse. Jeff, Lily and I went there for dinner last night. Mandy was tired from work and opted out. It was by far the best dinner of my life. It was so good. I realized that I have not had a steak dinner at a steak house since my honeymoon almost seven years ago. OMG. I am still full at 10AM this morning, but it was worth it.

As I type the words "this morning" I am reminded of Lily's latest verbiage, "last morning." I have never heard anyone use this expression before but it seems that she uses it in almost every conversation. I have heard, "Last night, I had steak for dinner." I have heard, "The other day, I took my final." I have heard, "yesterday morning we had pancakes for breakfast." But, I have never heard, "Last morning we went swimming at swimming lessons." Not until Lily made it up. So I am asking that you all adopt this verbiage, last morning, then I won't have to correct Lily. Please try to incorporate it into your conversations today....

My Degree

This is my last weekend of my Oracle programming class, and of course I procrastinated everything until now. I actually took the final on Monday, but I still have not started my final project. Yikes. My teacher was useless this semester. He did not interact with the class at all the entire time. He posted everything we would need on the Internet and said, go for it. Basically I could have just bought the text book and gotten more out of the class than I did paying almost $1000 when you count the text book.

I took this class not because it was required for my degree but because I wanted to learn more about programming a data base. I think I would have been better off just buying the book. My teacher posted an exact copy of the proctored final exam on the Internet for us to study and then said the exam in open note. Of course he posted the damn thing on Wednesday and I took the exam on Monday. So, everyone in the class got this extra help while I went into the exam blind. I didn't even know it was going to be open note.

Oh well. Maybe it is just my particular school... When I went to community college right out of high school, the expectation was very high. The professors made you work for your grades. Now it seems like all you have to do is give them the money and they give you your grade. Has college always been this way? Am i the last to know? I used to be so in awe of a college degree. Having spent 20 years and still not being able to attain this coveted honor, due to the limits on my time and money. Now I am thinking it is just a sham to keep the poor man down. If you think about it, obtaining a degree is hella expensive and scholarships and financial aide is hard to come by. Being able to pay for college is something reserved for afluent people whose parents got a degree themselves.

Most of my classmates put less than an hour per week of effort into school and still get A's. There is no accoutablity for learning and become proficient in the subject matter. Very frustrating. So I am giving them my money and getting my stupid piece of paper. Neither Jeff nor I have parents that have a degree. It has taken us quite some time, Jeff and I but he has and I am about to enter the coveted special group of college grads. I am making sure Mandy goes right out of high school and has that leg up starting her adult life. Even though I am beginning to think that all it is, the degree is a piece of paper saying you belong to the "have" club.

Evil Woman

I took a week, but here I have finally finished my story...

Have you ever fallen off a see-saw and banged your head on the cement? I did at a very young age, but I still remember how much it hurt to hit my head hard on the cement. The sound my head made as it hit, the white searing pain.

I can also remember that while this happened at pre-school, none of the caregivers would help or comfort me, they were too busy chatting to deal with me as I lay there, as I walked to them and asked for help, too busy for me.

Have you ever been bitten by fire ants? Once as a small child I was playing with this really cool mound of dirt. Man did it hurt when all those ants swarmed me and bit me. I was in so much pain that while running home I decided to stop at a neighbor's house. A house that had a little girl my age, a house where I often played. I knocked on the door and the mother of my little friend told me that she didn't have time to deal with me, screaming and crying, hand red and swollen, because she was busy and not my mother.

Have you ever had your face slapped really hard? I can remember as a small girl, I was playing outside and so was some of the other children my age. One of my friends was learning to ride a bike, her little brother was learning to peddle a big wheel. The little brother on the big wheel was trying to go up a hill and not having a lot of success. He would peddle and still the gravity was pulling him backward on the hill. I gave him a gentle push to help him along. He screamed. The mother explained to me that he didn't like to be pushed. I watched for a while longer and when the mom wasn't looking and he was going backward down the hill despite his valiant peddling up the hill efforts, I pushed him again. He screamed, she slapped me, really hard. Wow, that hurt. I was only trying to help, to this day it is hard for me to watch someone struggle without lending a hand, you would think that slap would have taught me a lesson.

I have at least a dozen of these stories, the time I was punched in the face in Kindergarten by a third grade boy and both the teacher and Principal told me it must have been my fault, because he came for a good home and I did not. Teachers, dentists, doctors, social workers, neighbors, a police woman, I have stories about how these people all treated me as a small child. A small child whose mother didn't really have the time to pay attention to, bath, feed, play with or protect.

I was taken away from this home and put into foster care, adopted by a lovely family and after the age of six my life was even more traditional American than Leave it to Beaver. But, somewhere in me there still lives that little girl who everyone treated like trash. I think a part of me still blames myself.

This is the Epiphany I had last week when I was so mad at my dog. She like me had a previous life where she wasn't treated so well, and she like me still has a bit of the scraggly dog no one wanted in her. And sometimes this makes me really hate her. But, I guess it ain't really about the dog now is it?

Puppy Love

Sunday morning Lily and I were curled up in a chair watching cartoons. When the cartoon ended the remote was no where in sight and while Lily wanted to change the channel I was content to continue our relaxing cuddle.

On the TV came a movie or show I really don't know which, it started with a box of puppies. All the puppies looked like little labs, they were all black except for this one little white puppy. The box was located outside the door of what looked like a store. First a little girl came out of the door, she bent down and picked up one of the black puppies. The little white puppy was jumping up trying to be picked but she left with the black puppy. This scenario continued, one by one the black puppies were taken and the little white puppy was left in the box, until she/he was alone. Then, when she/he was all alone, the sky darkened and it began to rain.

I looked over at Lily, her eyes were red and the tears were brimming over. She began to cry in earnest. The puppy, the poor little puppy, he is all alone in the rain, why won't the little girl take him home. She was seriously crying.

On the TV, came the words, one year later... and it showed the puppy all grown up. I tried to explain this to Lily, but it didn't make sense. I tried to explain that the puppy was alright. But, she wouldn't hear me. She was really upset. I tried taking her to daddy to see if he could help her feel better, no luck. We ate lunch, read books, colored, all the while she was either crying or on the verge of crying about the poor puppy. I was finally able to convince her that the puppy was alright. That we like the rain and it doesn't hurt and the puppy likes the rain to. That the puppy jumped out of the box and went to the girl's house, where he is sleeping happily on her bed. It took me awhile to sell this version of the story, but finally she bought it.

But, still she talks of the puppy in the rain, who jumped out of the box and went to sleep on the little girl's bed.

BookWormsRus - book club

August book club discussion is up at Angel's place. For September we are reading both Flirting with Forty ... by Jane Porter and Between, Georgia ... by Joshilyn Jackson. Feel free to read both or just one.

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Any volunteers for hosting either of these discussions in Sept?

Spanish Immersion

Back before I married Jeff, Mandy and I were living in Fort Wayne, Indiana. To recap, I was born in the Seattle area, moved to the Sacramento area around twelve and then to Indiana at 26, still with me. My dad was transfered for both of the above moves and I wanted to be near my family so I moved to Indiana with Mandy. Then my dad retired and moved away and I was in hell alone. But that is another story.

Mandy's local elementary school happened to be a charter school. This charter school decided that they would offer students the opportunity to do a program called Spanish Immersion. The theory was that since kids whose parents do not speak English are able to graduate from high school speaking English fluently... we thought if we made our kids speak nothing but Spanish at school they would graduate speaking Spanish fluently. Starting in Kindergarten the kids would spend half the day with a teacher who only spoke to them in Spanish. They wouldn't be teaching them Spanish in the traditional way, vocabulary words, verb conjugations, they would just conduct the business of kindergarten in Spanish. The other half of the day the kids would go to their other teacher who spoke English. The Spanish teacher taught them math and science and the English teacher taught them reading, writing, social studies.

The kids were kept together k-5th and in 6th they all moved on to the junior high school. Mandy's class was about five or six years into the program so it was running very smoothly. The parents were very involved in this process, we had meetings, fund raisers, etc almost weekly. We all did girl scouts and birthday parties, play dates etc. The same group of less than 20 kids were together in school and out of school for all those years. Except, half way through 4th grade I married Jeff and we moved to Italy.

Mandy has kept in touch with many of the kids from her Spanish Immersion class. Saturday while Mandy was on her break at work her cell phone rang. It was one of her friends from Spanish Immersion, her friend was right then at a reunion party of their Spanish Immersion class, at the home of Mandy's 1st Grade Spanish teacher. Mandy got the chance to speak to many of the kids and teachers. They passed the phone around and were excited to hear about all of Mandy's travels.

I told Mandy if she can get her driver's license we can drive up to Fort Wayne for the next reunion. At the time we were practicing in an empty parking lot, she was upset that I was making her practice while she was telling me about her phone call. I wonder if any of those kids are fluent in Spanish. I know that Mandy didn't take any more Spanish until high school and it came to her very easily, she gets 100's on everything without even studying. But, that is just Mandy not sure if it is from the immersion...Still the experience was priceless.

Spuds Gone Wild: Week 3 revisited

I am hoping you all will be fine with having a week three re-do. If you want to move forward to the week 4 training feel free.

4 DAYS OF ACTIVITY - SUNDAY, TUESDAY, THURSDAY, AND SATURDAY AS FOLLOWS: 8 MINUTE WALK, 5 MINUTE JOG, 5 MINUTE WALK, 5 MINUTE JOG, 7 MINUTE WALK. -Hanson's Running - couch potato to 10K.

I have noticed in the comments that everyone is being very hard on themselves, me too. This training makes me feel like a failure because I am not really living up to it 100%. I noticed with your comments that we are all feeling pretty guilty about not taking better care of ourselves. We really should be putting ourselves first and taking better care of ourselves, and none of us are, in a way that makes me feel better, less alone in my inability to succeed in this one area of my life. It is a real downer.

This week in the comments, no negative talk. You must come up with one thing you did this week that you are proud of. One thing that you did for better health. Are you all up to the challenge of saying something nice about yourselves? I am thinking that reversing the way we look at ourselves in this regard might be helpful toward walking the walk and getting ourselves off the couch. It is worth a try? The calling ourselves names isn't really working. Even if you didn't get the chance to exercise at all, try to think of something nice to say about yourself in regards to taking care of yourself and your health. Maybe you drank some water? Maybe you ate a veggie, ate less sugar, got a good night's sleep, walked up some stairs? I know you can do it.

I've got my final in nine hours and have 80 hours of work to do to get ready for it, and then I have a final project due Friday that I haven't started. I have been having the hardest time with keeping up with this class. My procrastination is giving me a nervous breakdown.

September BookWorms poll

***updated: I have added one more book and reset the poll due to technical difficulities. Please consider the new book and recast your vote.

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Here is a list of the book which have been recommended for our September selection:

In Porter's second dip into the chick lit pool (after The Frog Prince), Seattle single mom Jackie Laurens begins wondering how important happiness is: divorced with two kids and a thriving decorating business, she assumes she's happy, but can't help feeling like something's missing. When her married friend, Anne, arranges for the two of them to indulge in a Hawaiian getaway in honor of Jackie's 40th birthday, Jackie agrees. Anne backs out at the last second, but Jackie decides to suffer through the vacation solo. Hawaii is gorgeous, but the hotel pool deck groans under the weight of middle-aged men whose coarse chutzpah is only overshadowed by their flabby bellies. Just before she resigns herself to the depressing prospects, she meets Kai, a sexy, tan and much younger surfing instructor. Life doesn't get better, only more complicated as Jackie tries to balance the sultry, sweaty joys of Hawaii and Kai with the obligations of motherhood. Porter's romance roots show in the gratuitous sex scenes and in how easily tears flow from Jackie's eyes, but this book fits the bill as a calorie-free accompaniment for a poolside daiquiri.

"Mine is a story of craving; an unreliable account of lusts and troubles that began, somehow, in 1956 on the day our free television was delivered." So begins the story of Dolores Price, the unconventional heroine of Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone. Dolores is a class-A emotional basket case, and why shouldn't she be? She's suffered almost every abuse and familial travesty that exists: Her father is a violent, philandering liar; her mother has the mental and emotional consistency of Jell-O; and the men in her life are probably the gender's most loathsome creatures. But Dolores is no quitter; she battles her woes with a sense of self-indulgence and gluttony rivaled only by Henry VIII. Hers is a dysfunctional Wonder Years, where growing up in the golden era was anything but ideal. While most kids her age were dealing with the monumental importance of the latest Beatles single and how college turned an older sibling into a long-haired hippie, Dolores was grappling with such issues as divorce, rape, and mental illness. Whether you're disgusted by her antics or moved by her pathetic ploys, you'll be drawn into Dolores's warped, hilarious, Mallomar-munching world.


There's "no such thing as a town smaller than Between," Joshilyn Jackson writes about the setting of her new Southern novel. It's not awfully far from Athens, Ga.; it's surrounded by pines and threatened by kudzu. Its major attraction is a museum devoted to porcelain dolls and butterfly farming: "a must-stop spot for the kind of people who liked to pack up a camper and go see freakishly large balls of tinfoil."
Between is also the home of the Fretts and the Crabtrees, who are like the Montagues and the Capulets, only more eccentric. The Fretts are "meticulous to the point of mental illness," Jackson writes. If they ever cuss, they use only cuss-words that appear in the Bible. They have money; they create order. The Crabtrees, meanwhile, live in squalor and chaos, sloping in and out of common-law unions and borderline felonies. The primal Crabtree landscape is a helter-skelter vision of "rusted-out bodies of cars and partial cars, heaps of old lawn mowers, fridges, gas stoves, and chunks of various engines." Crabtree men don't ask for dessert; they holler, "Baby Jesus, but I [expletive] need some pie."

A faithful summary of Between, Georgia would have to go on for pages to honor its enormous cast of quirky characters and its breathlessly intricate plot. But what you need to know is that the narrator, a spirited young woman named Nonny, was born a Crabtree and raised as a Frett. Her adoptive mother and aunts, in their tidy print dresses and orthopedic shoes, are naturally at odds with her Crabtree grandmother and a slew of redneck Crabtree cousins. But an attack by a vicious Crabtree dog brings the families together and sets the action going.

There's also Nonny's husband, Jonno, physically irresistible and ethically deficient, from whom she'll be divorced as soon as they can stop having "goodbye sex" and get to their court date in Athens. Jonno plays in a rock band called X. Machina -- as in deus ex machina, an ancient Greek plot-resolving device that comes in handy when this book reaches full gallop.

Jackson, whose first novel was gods in Alabama, has a gift for juggling a zillion movable parts. Adept at the kind of farce that requires characters to hide from each other in the bushes, she's also good at poignancy and at darker scenes of mayhem. There's so much back-story that it takes the reader a while to get oriented, but once you've got it straight, Jackson produces an astringently humorous performance.

Though Between hasn't the emotional depth that occasionally enriched gods in Alabama, it's equally dotted with Southern "characters." A favorite: the airhead virago Amber DeClue. Please let Scarlett Johansson play her if there's a movie so she can deliver the line: "I have to go iron my hair."

(is this the correct book - I couldn't find one called Finding Peyton Place???) With her mother deceased and her older sister suffering similar symptoms, successful 30-something novelist Annie Barnes turns detective—Erin Brokovich-style—when she reluctantly returns to her "stifling, stagnant, and cruel" New Hampshire hometown of Middle River in Delinsky's diverting latest (after The Summer I Dared). A company town dominated by Northbrook Paper Mill, owned by the powerful Meades, Middle River's real claim to fame, according to Annie and other townspeople, is that it was the model for the once notorious bestseller Peyton Place by Grace Metalious. Annie's neighbors are equally sure that she's returned to dig up their dirt, and, like Metalious, write about it. Though Annie is less concerned with gossip than possible mercury poisoning, Metalious speaks to her from beyond the grave, egging her on in her investigation. The plucky heroine also begins a flirty e-mail conversation with a Deep Throat who calls himself "TrueBlue" and hints at Northbrook Mill's dark doings. And against all odds, handsome Meade scion James seems to be an ally in her environmental crusade. Readers with an appetite for light fare will find all the right ingredients—romance, mystery, suspense, sisterly rivalry and a thoroughly happy ending.

Market Magic

Driving while crying

Last night after eating a delicious dinner, if I do say so myself, Jeff and I lingered at the kitchen table wistfully discussing how we will spend our next summer's vacation. He wants to see his family, I want to see mine. Jeff wants to go to his niece's graduation. I want to go to Lake Tahoe and hook up with my parents and brothers. We have decided to compromise and do it all. We are positively giddy with the anticipation of another trip. I haven't been to my beloved California in 12 and 1/2 years I am so looking forward to visiting the best spot in all of California. Jeff loves mountains and has never seen the Sierra Nevada, or even been to California, unless you count a lay over at LAX, which I do not.

I was asking Jeff if he thought we should camp at Lake Tahoe or find a motel, whether he thought we should drive there or fly, etc. This is when he mentions that he isn't sure when we should plan the trip, he can't remember which month his is on the list to deploy. I still feel like someone has punched me in the gut. I cried and he says, this is why he doesn't tell me things.

This morning I got up extra early to work on my homework, Mandy missed her bus. So, I got Lily up and ready to go, drove Mandy to school, got gas, came home, dog crapped and peed in Lily's room. I cannot tell you how much I hate our dog. We rescued her, she had been abused, she has never recovered. She is such a brat, if she doesn't get to come with us she gets mad and craps in Lily's room, because she knows how mad that makes me. And then if I even look at her funny she will act all scared and pee all over the carpet. She drives me crazy, I started to think to myself no wonder why so many families have abandoned her, she is just such a brat. She can't be home for 30 minutes on her own without having a tantrum and crapping and peeing in Lily's room. Sometimes she pees on my bed, that is reserved for when we go out of town. She waits until we come home and then she goes and peed on the bed right in front of me.

I put her out in the back yard while we went to run errands. Plenty of shade, gave her water. Still, she is never outside for more than 5 seconds unless we are on a walk and I was so worried and felt so bad for hating her so much. I felt so bad that I started bawling as I was driving down the road. I haven't done that since I was a teenager. Driving while crying, that is so embarrassing especially at four way stops. I thought of this story to write on my blog, I had an epiphany, but now I have spent so much time setting the story up I am thinking I will make the actual story tomorrows post. See you then.

These boots were made for walking

Saturday night at 10 PM, what were you doing? I was walking down my street, stomping actually, steam coming out of my ears. At some point I thought to myself, should I be out here at this hour by myself. My neighborhood feels safe, I did research before buying our house and it is statistically safe, but still I felt a bit exposed, alone in the dark. I decided to stay close to my house and just walk up and down my street. Since I was already out there, I remember my training for the 10 K and decided to try the first run/walk bit.

At 10 PM the temperature and humidity were better, not ideal but manageable. I had covered myself in bug spray just in case and all my anger gave me a bonus amount of energy. I was off and ready to knock out the first bit of running in my training schedule. However, as I turned around at the end of the block, jogged up toward my house and then past my house, there sitting on the porch were neighbors. I was mortifed. I haven't had the chance to meet these neighbors yet, imagine me slowly jogging up and down my street to an audience. I went back into the house and took a shower. Jeff made comments, "that was quick". He thinks his comments are helpful. They are not. He imagines himself my trainer, he is not.

The next day I decided to continue my training in the house, with the AC and no spectators. What a big baby, but the important thing to me is that I accomplished something.

Meme

I have been tagged for a meme by the lovely Mama Daisy.

HERE’S THE RULES…- We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.- Players start with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.- People who are tagged need to write their own blog post about their eight things and post these rules.- At the end of your post, you need to choose eight people who get tagged and list their names- Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they are tagged.

1. I have a scar on my hand from a water skiing accident.
2. I have several scars on my knees from roller skating accidents.
3. I am a Gemini.
4. I plan to vote for Hilary.
5. I love to fix things.
6. I love to grow things.
7. I love to cook.
8. I love making computer programs.

Instead of tagging eight people, I am going to be a rebel and leave the tagging up to you. If you would like to do this meme, then consider yourself tagged.

Spuds Gone Wild: Week 3

We are already on week three of twenty, don't you feel fit? Anyone found a 10 K for us to run in? Me either. This weeks plan:

4 DAYS OF ACTIVITY - SUNDAY, TUESDAY, THURSDAY, AND SATURDAY AS FOLLOWS: 8 MINUTE WALK, 5 MINUTE JOG, 5 MINUTE WALK, 5 MINUTE JOG, 7 MINUTE WALK. -Hanson's Running - couch potato to 10K

Leave a comment about how you are doing. Give me some tips.

I'm a clutter bug

I was thinking yesterday that I am going to have to delete my blog when Lily learns to read. I am not very nice to her on my blog am I? I do spend quite a bit of time complaining about the difficulties of raising her, and not a lot of time talking about how amazing she is. Most people who know Lily in real life take all my complaining with a grain of salt. They roll their eyes at me because Lily is truly a delightful little girl. When we are out and about people always stop to talk to her and she can bring a smile to the grumpiest person's face. She is just so happy and her personality is quite infectious. I thought I would tell a nice Lily story for a change, to help with perspective.

Many of my friends will complain that their husbands leave their socks and underwear lying in piles all over the house. That their husbands can sit down on the couch next to a pile of laundry in need of being folded and turn on the TV. That their husbands don't even see the clutter and disarray that they leave in their wake. In truth, those would also be great descriptions of me. I am not at all good at taking care of clutter. I am clean, my house is clean, the dishes are clean, the floors are clean, the toilets are clean, but clutter-what is the point?

On a typical day Jeff will come home from work and every surface of the house will be covered in toys. The coffee table will be strewn with half done puzzles. The carpets with Lincoln logs in one corner, dueplo blocks in another, and those tiny little Lego's that hurt like hell to step on will be right in the middle of the floor. Our bedroom floor and bed will be covered in babies, blankets and stuffed animals. And Lily and I will be reading a pile of books on the couch totally oblivious of the chaos around us. I have not been at all successful at teaching her how to put away one toy before getting out the next toy.

This all really upsets Jeff. He should have an afternoon tea with my girl friends and listen to how their husbands are so disrespectful as to leave their underwear in the middle of the bedroom, he could really sympathies with my friends. Jeff you see does not like clutter at all. He has tried everything over the course of our marriage to convince me to pick up more. And, well it really hasn't worked. Every fight we have ever had has been about this subject. Mostly he has gotten over it. But, lately for some strange reason I have been making an effort to pick up the house before he gets home from work. How domestic of me.

I know, you are thinking where is Lily in this story, it is coming... About an hour before Jeff gets home Lily and I start to pick up the house. We work together and put away all her toys, her babies, her books, etc. We organize them all neatly on her shelves and in her closet and we run the vacuum. Sometimes we sweep and mop the floors, we make the beds, run the dust cloth over the coffee table and then start dinner. Then Daddy comes home to a freshly clean house, no clutter at all, the smells of something cooking and we rush to the door to say hello. Best wife ever!

After a week or so, this got kinda old for me, old habits and all. We were busy with so many activities during the day, running here and running there, driving, driving everywhere (too much Dr. Seuss?). Instead of jumping up to clean the house an hour before Jeff comes home, I decided to write on my blog or read other blogs. To pop a movie in for Lily and to relax for a bit.

Here is the part about Lily. . .

Somehow Lily decided she like the whole cleaning up the house bit, and she has been cleaning up without me. She picks up and puts away all her toys, organizes her room. She even will pick up my socks off the floor and put them in the hamper. She will make the beds and wipe down the coffee table. It is hilarious. I couldn't find my phone, or my book and Lily knew exactly where she had put them. We lost the remote for the TV and Lily knew right where that was too. She loves to look around the house and see it all picked up and neat. She must have gotten that from her dad??? Neat and tidy, that is my Lily no more toys scattered around the house. Jeff is so happy. Daddy's little girl.

Food Allergies

History: When Lily was around 9 months old I discovered that eating wheat, oat, corn, egg, apple, or tomato made her sick. When I informed her doctor, he subjected her to many tests. When all those tests were negative he sent her to a specialist who gave her another battery of tests. All these tests and it has not been determined why Lily gets sick when she eats these foods. They tell me she will probably grow out of it by the time she is four, or she might have celiac disease, many people especially little ones test negative for Celiac even when they actually have the disease. It is all very confusing for me. Except, I just don't feed her stuff that makes her sick. That part is easy. The why she gets sick, that part is hard.

Now what: Lily just had her fourth birthday. I decided it might be a good idea to re-introduce some of these foods and see if she still gets sick. I started with egg. I put an egg in her pancakes every morning for about three days. At first I didn't see any reaction. No rashes, no diarrhea, no lethargy-I am thinking, great, this is fabulous, I am so excited.

Screaming: Then the screaming happened. For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, you will recall that Lily spent most of her twos and threes screaming at the top of her lungs all day long. And then she stopped. For the last six months we have had very few episodes. We had a bad episode while visiting Jeff's family toward the end of our vacation, how embarrassing. Mostly, Lily has been screamless. I mean whole days, even whole weeks with no fits. She communicated with words, it is lovely, so lovely. About three days after the introduction of egg into her diet, the screaming came back.

Was it the egg? Many other things happened during this time, that could have led to the screaming. Things like driving all day long. Due to Mandy's volleyball and work schedules, Lily went from having a daily three hour nap to not having any nap at all. That could lead to a grumpy gus. We also started swim lessons, which was new and perhaps a bit stressful at first. We also ran out of many of the foods Lily loves and have been unable to find these foods again. Like her favorite cereal, the gluten-free and corn-free flour we use to make pancakes, her cookies, blueberries, etc. So Lily has been refusing to eat some. Could it be that she was tired and hungry and just grumpy? Or was it the egg?

Previously she would have rashes and diarrhea. This time there was no physical reaction. A part of me is questioning myself. A part of me is wondering, is this food allergy thing just in my head? The doctors tests have all been negative, according to them there isn't a logical explanation or scientific evidence of her having an allergy or whatever to these foods. I have never heard of anyone else being allergic to such a weird combination of food. No one else in our family has problems with these foods or any foods. Lily is never sick (knock on wood), most kids who have food allergies get sick a lot, and she is almost never sick.

I just don't know what to think. There was a real difference in her behavior when I gave her the egg. There was a real difference in her behavior when we were on vacation and eating out at restaurants and she was most likely ingesting one of the foods which may or may not cause her to get sick. It has been a week since I have given her any egg, and it has been a week since she has thrown a fit.

The fits: Just to be clear, the fits are when she starts to scream and cry and I cannot snap her out of it for a very long time. She wont listen, or react to me, she just loses it. Usually we communicate, she listens and discusses things etc. But, when she is having a fit, she will get mad at something like if I call her pajama shorts, just shorts instead of saying pajama shorts and this will cause her to start screaming, lose all sense of everything and just scream and throw things for an hour. I will have to rock her or just leave her to get it all out. This used to be my life all the time, it was a nightmare. But, lately she will laugh and tell me that I said it wrong and go on with her life. It used to be everything like when she would have a cup of milk if I set the milk down on the table in the wrong spot or if her babies were put on the pillow in the wrong order etc. Everything would drive her crazy. Lately this behavior has totally disappeared.

Conclusion: I really don't have a conclusion. I don't know if it was the food that led to this behavior or if it was just the age. Was the fits last week a result of the egg or just a coincidence? This week there is still swimming lessons, still no time for naps, still none of her favorite foods, but this week there haven't been any fits. I just wish she could take a test and have a diagnosis. I just don't know if I want to keep testing the food or if I just want to let it go. Any thoughts?

Spuds Gone Wild: Week 2

How is the exercise going? Anyone found a 10K in your area? Sorry for the delay in posting this weeks schedule. The complete schedule can be found here.

4 DAYS OF ACTIVITY - 30 MINUTES OF EASY WALKING ON SUNDAY, TUESDAY, AND THURSDAY. SATURDAY AS FOLLOWS: 10 MINUTE WALK, 3 MINUTE JOG, 7 MINUTE WALK, 3 MINUTE JOG, 7 MINUTE WALK.

Permit

Yesterday I spent four hours in the car driving my kids to their various activities. It is driving me crazy. This is the last week of swim lessons and the last week of Mandy's summer vacation. Things may slow down a bit soon.

Mandy got her driving permit, finally. Jeff and Mandy have been working all summer toward getting her a permit. He says that he did all the ground work, but I ended up having to take Mandy to get her permit.

Mandy, Lily, and I arrived at the DMV first thing in the morning. We acquired number 45, there is only enough space for 5 people to stand in line. Everyone else is instructed (screamed at) to wait in the waiting room (capacity of 20 people tops) or go outside. We went for a drive. Browsed the local Lowes. When we returned they were on number 39.

We found a seat in the waiting room and Lily and I began to read Richard Scary's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go. This particular book first belonged to my little brother, then to Mandy and now to Lily, it is a very raggedy book, well loved. They finally called our number and we were then to stand in the line, the line that only allows for five people.

I got screamed at because I was there to change my Indiana license to a Mississippi license and we only had one number. In fact I was screamed at about this about 6 times. But, I was able to get my Mississippi license and Mandy was able to get her permit. And Lily was a complete angel the entire 3 hours. Yeah, Lily!

Mandy has not been very cooperative about getting her permit, says she doesn't want to drive. She has not been cooperative about getting a job. She has not been cooperative about going out for the volleyball team. My interaction with Mandy this summer has been difficult to say the least. I often am waiting for 5, 10, or even 15 minutes in the car, waiting for her to come out of the house to go to work, or volleyball. All we seem to do is fight.

I am not one of those women who wants to buy beer for her kid so she will like me, but I wish she would like me. I have worked for 16 years to give this child a good life, and she acts like being in the same room with me causes her skin to crawl. She makes me so mad. But, getting her permit seems to have moved things in a better direction. She is very proud and happy to have her permit. She has been driving around the neighborhood, getting a feel for things.

The other day we were driving, me driving, to volleyball and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen came on the radio and we sang together. It was so lovely. I know this post is disjointed and my point is lost even to me. Spending the summer with Mandy has been a roller coaster of emotions and keeping her on the path I think she needs to be on has been one of the most difficult things of my life. It is hard not to back down and just let her be, let her make her own choices and have some peace. But, her choices are wrong and she needs to learn to drive, have a job, and interact with others.

I keep hoping that by the time Lily is this age I will be too old to get this frustrated. But, on the other hand, Mandy is the best kid ever. She doesn't get into trouble or do drugs or sneak out or any of those things that other teen moms are so worried about. She just wants to be left alone so she can read.