I got this email from a friend and former boss of mine. Great parenting advice if you are wondering about appropriate behavior modification methods...
Tough Love vs. Spanking
(a psychological conundrum)
Most of America 's populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of "those moments."
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.
I've attached a photo of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely,
Loving Dad/Grangdad
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Parenting advice
Posted by
Marshamlow
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5/30/2006 04:46:00 PM
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Family
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School is almost out
Just a couple of weeks until school is out for the summer, for Mandy. I go year round. I am so excited. We got an email saying that Mandy is receiving the presidential achievement award this year. The awards ceremony is a couple of weeks before school is out? Before finals? The ceremony is on a Tuesday afternoon, at 1:30. I couldn't think of a more inconvenient time if I tried. What to do with Lily. How will Jeff get out of work? Etc.
Last year's award ceremony left me so mad. Mandy received many awards, including highest honor roll, physical fitness, high achievement in a variety of subjects. Every time they passed out awards the parents were asked not to clap until the end, not for each student individually but to wait until all the students had their awards and clap for everyone together. Mandy was one of the first ones called and we obeyed the teachers and didn't clap. About half way through the alphabet parents started clapping for kids. So Mandy didn't get clapped for and I felt awful. It really made me mad because I had come there to celebrate her achievement, and they didn't feel there was time for me to clap for her individually?
The teachers had plenty of time to lecture the parents. They spent over an hour telling us how to parent our kids. How now that our kids are going into high school they are going to lie to us about homework and grades, and how it is our job to monitor their behavior. Never believe your children is what they kept telling us. Check to make sure they did their homework. Check to make sure they passed their tests. If we don't keep our eyes on our kids they aren't going to graduate high school and they will be forever ruined. This to an audience of parents whose children were receiving awards for high achievement. The teachers even did a skit about a girl who wouldn't be graduating because her mom never checked her homework. Plus, this is a very small school, we had time to clap for everyone.
The lecture and the clapping thing. I am still mad. Plus, they took the opportunity to speak about politics. One teacher actually said she was so glad to live on a military base where everyone is a republican and she doesn't have to interact with a bunch of liberals. Does that mean that when Clinton was in office the entire military was democrats? Just wondering lady.
Back when Mandy was in elementary school, when I was an insecure single mom, I took what the teachers had to say to heart. And they were saying the same crap back then about monitoring your kids, checking homework, etc. I would monitor Mandy and her homework. We had these awful homework sessions every night that almost always ended in tears. And she was a mediocre student at best. I checked her homework, made her fix her mistakes. I went over the assignment and re-explained it all to her. She felt like I was telling her she was an idiot.
When Lily was born I just didn't have the time or energy to check her homework anymore. I told her that she would have to be responsible for making sure it was done and if she had any questions she could just ask me. She started getting A's instead of C's. Turns out for Mandy trusting her to be responsible for her own work made all the difference. A difference in her confidence, a difference in her grades, a difference in our relationship. To be fair she was 12 at the time and that is a big step forward in maturity, there is no telling what would have happened if I had parented her differently in elemenatry school. Plus, I could have been more patient and found a better way to conduct our homework sessions. I am just saying that trust, responsiblity and taking a step back works better with Mandy's personality.
God bless teachers. I realize that it is an amazingly hard job and that so many parents drop the ball, making their job even harder. But, I think that parenting advice and politics at an awards ceremony is in poor taste. Of course I never complained, never wrote a terse letter to the teachers or principal, so I am sure this year I will have to sit through the same crap. They do a great job and teaching and sometimes it is best not to step on toes, or maybe I am just a coward.
I love having such a successful daughter. One that always gets awards and nice notes from teachers. I don't imagine that will be the case with Lily, but I will always have the memories of Mandy's awards. Now I know that these achievements are totally her and not really anything to do with what a great mom I am, because I am a really great mom to her sister too, the one who throws screaming fits in the store and everyone gives those looks of contempt. We all need a little balance in our lives. Yeah. Mandy!
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/30/2006 03:19:00 PM
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Family
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Monday, May 29, 2006
Memorial Day




Thanks to Angel I have remembered why we celebrate Memorial Day. Here are some photos from a trip to the American graveyard and memorial in Normandy, France. It is the same memorial that is shown in the movie Saving Private Ryan. I have no words, the thought of all the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice humbles me.
Posted by
Marshamlow
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5/29/2006 05:14:00 PM
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Military Life
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Sunday, May 28, 2006
Funny Post
Have you ever had an annoying houseguest? Read this..
Be sure to read the comments too.
Thanks for all the birthday wishes and the thoughtful responses to my CARE post. I love blogging and am so glad to have discovered y'all.
Jeff is home safe and sound from his week in San Antonio. I sure did whine a lot even though he was only gone a week.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/28/2006 09:32:00 PM
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Blogging
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Friday, May 26, 2006
CARE International
In the mail today I received another large envelope from CARE. Have you ever donated money to a non-profit group? About a year and a half ago when the Tsunami hit, the tragedy hit us hard. We are close enough that we felt the earthquake. Just barley, I was talking on the phone to my dad, it being Christmas there and the day after here. Then on the Australian TV channel that we get, they showed the news coverage, all day everyday. It was not tame like American news, they showed a lot of dead bodies, especially the children. I remember every morning we would check the death count. We had been saving for a trip to Australia and we sent that money to CARE International. I did some research and discovered that CARE is supposedly the charity which spends the least amount of my money on administrative costs and the most amount of my money on people in need. However, every month since then I have received in the mail a huge envelope stuffed with pleas for more money.
Typically we have a standard charity we give to through a monthly allotment payroll deduction, and they don’t bother us with junk mail. However, this one time I wanted to give to help with the Tsunami. I imagine if I lived in America CARE would be calling me on the phone every day as well. I look at these mailings, the beautiful graphic design, the paper, the postage, all that money wasted. I makes me so mad. I keep thinking that all the money I gave to CARE went into the pockets of people who are richer than I am. The salary of someone working for a non-profit is more than our salary, same is true for graphic designers, etc. It seems to me that giving money to a non-profit is giving money up the social ladder rather than down. Jeff chose the military as a career path to serve his country and make a difference in the world. Not sure if I personally believe that is the case currently, still over the course of his entire career, to protect and serve, to believe in our country and values. That decision along with my decision to put off college and to stay at home costs us the opportunity to have a lot of money. We have given up the opportunity to own a lot of really nice things like a digital camera, or a nice computer, or a nice TV, a house, a nice car…We gave up the money we saved to go and see Australia to help the victims of the Tsunami and to see that money being spent on junk mail is really difficult for me. It just doesn’t make sense to me, I feel like a poor person supporting the rich people. I am sure that CARE is a wonderful organization. It is just that I don’t think that non-profit organizations is the right decision for our family anymore. Especially when we travel to third world countries and we see starving people in real life, why not just give the money to them? Then 100% of my money goes to people less fortunate than me. And if someone is going to buy my coveted digital camera with this money at least it is someone who is poor and not someone who is richer than me.
I don’t control the money at my house. I am trying to convince Jeff to stop the payroll deductions and take that money and give it directly to poor people, no more buying digital cameras for the richie people working for non-profits, the graphic designers who design the lovely literature begging me for more money, the people who spend my vacation money on junk mail. Even if the poor person I give the money to blows the money on booze and drugs, at least they had a little fun, it has got to be more productive than spending it on junk mail. What do you all think about charity?
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/26/2006 06:50:00 PM
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Complaints Department
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Thursday, May 25, 2006
It's My Birthday
No need to cry though. Even with Jeff far, far away I had a smashing birthday, thanks to my girls. Mandy was able to surprise me with a cake, lit up with candles and presents. Lily sang Happy Birthday to me. And we had a really lovely day.
Now that I am 37, I feel better than ever. I haven't gotten old enough to feel old. Life just seems to keep getting better every year.
I was trying to explain that to Mandy. To somehow tell her that when I was her age (15) I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. Now - I am, by societies standards, old and fat - yet I feel really good about myself. Then - I was young and thin, by anyone's standards, and I felt so ugly and unimportant. Weird. After having that conversation Mandy pointed out how much self esteem our Lily has, yes - she loves herself best, my sweet Lily.
Poor Lily I am always picking on her. Secretly I am so jealous of her love of life and and her love of herself.
I spent the day with friends, at the playground. I was a dutiful friend holding the new baby, listening and chatting. After awhile, my inner child got out, and I played with the kiddies. It started innocently enough, pushing the little ones on the swings. Then, I got a little crazy and I was running around, yelling and even climbing through the tunnels and sliding down the slides. I love having a little one. I am glad that I have a little one and can therefore still play at the playground. Must have given the neighborhood a good laugh to see me playing like that, but they see it everyday so they should be used to it by now.
Now you know what a dork I am, but it is my birthday so you have to be nice! I apologize for all the commas, it is late and I can't sleep due to the lack of husband, but my brain is not working at 100%.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/25/2006 10:31:00 AM
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Military Life
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Gabrielle
I was watching Desperate Housewives the other day, we are a few weeks behind y'all, this was the episode where Carlos and Gabrielle were debating the merits of having a nanny. Gabby said something like, "I will be a better mother if I have a good night sleep." I couldn't help but think, Amen.
This week Jeff has been out of town, so I haven't had much of a chance to be selfish. I have found that I am not as good at being a mom when he is away. It is the little things, like how much I smile, or how much patience I have.
With my sweet Lily, queen of defiance, we have developed a relationship of give and take. I have found ways to coerce her into behaving with my charm. I make doing what I want seem like it is way more fun than acting like a lunatic. But, not this week. I just want her to listen to me.
We were carrying the groceries from the car to the house. Lily wanted proceed up the path to our house, not by walking, but by hopping, not even by hopping regular, no she wanted us to hop backward. Arms full of groceries, Lily insisted we hop backwards. Of course, she wanted me to participate, she is the queen. When I refused, she threw herself to the ground and had an enormous melt down. When I walked away, she got up and ran away screaming.
This would never have happened if Jeff was home. See if Jeff was home, I would have smiled and agreed to hopping backward. I would have laughed and said, "I love hopping, good job Lily." It is not that he would have been there at that moment, he would have been off at work. But, everyday he spoils and pampers me just a little. It is so nice to be spoiled and pampered that I go through my day with a zest for life. No spoiling = no zest.
Gabrielle is my favorite Desperate Housewife. I think she may be my exact opposite, but I am working on being a bit more selfish and pampering myself a bit more. My grass does need cutting too.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/24/2006 06:16:00 PM
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Family,
Feminism
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Rice Planting
What do you think of when you think of Japan? Electronics, great cars, big cities, neon signs, buildings with tv screens on the side filled with advertisments? Would you believe that here in the land of technology they still plant their rice by hand? I don't know if everyone does it. I know that here in Misawa they do.
Today Mandy got to go on a field trip to plant rice. She went out in the muddy field and learned to plant the rice by hand. She had a blast. My daughter who washes her hands obsessively, was covered from head to toe in mud. And she loved it.
If I go to the Japanese grocery store, a 5lb bag of locally grown rice costs about $35. I guess when you hand plant, grow, and harvest your rice it is a bit more expensive.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/24/2006 01:38:00 AM
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Adventures
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Friday, May 19, 2006
Sweet
This morning Lily was doing something precious as she usually does, and I said,
“Lily, you are so sweet”And Lily replied,
“sweet Jesus”And I had a good laugh.
Every time I hear that particular expression it tickles my funny bone. I had never heard that expression before I married Jeff. I think he is the first Southern person I ever knew. If you have never met a Southerner, “Sweet Jesus” is how one expresses frustration with others or a situation. In Northern California we would say, “WTF” or “Good Lord” or “Oh my God”. Anyways, here is the story that tickles my funny bone.
About five years ago when Jeff and I were newly married, one of the first Family Adventures we undertook was a drive to Salzburg, Austria. It was about a five hour drive from where we were living in Pordenone, Italy. The drive is incredible. Through the mountains all the way. Straight up the middle of Austria, from the southern most portion to the northern most portion. The highway is dotted with castles and incredible mountains.

We arrived in Salzburg and it was raining. We had driven all that way, we were going to see the city. This being one of our first trips, we just showed up. Now I research a place before going, then we would just show up and see what we saw. So we found a place to park, we found a restaurant, we found some really expensive umbrellas. After lunch, the skies had cleared, no more rain, now we were forced to carry really expensive umbrellas all day. We saw a big enormous hill with a fortress/castle in the distance and we decided to walk that direction. We walked through the old section of Salzburg, and up the hill. We discovered it was quite expensive to go inside the castle/fortress so we just looked at it from the outside. We then started back down the hill. On our decent we noticed a beautiful church. We decided to go inside. There was a placard on the wall next to the door of the church. It basically said that the movie The Sound of Music was filmed at this church. However, this is still a real church. No large tour groups were allowed and anyone entering the church must be respectful of the fact that this is a place of worship. So we entered hesitantly. I was so excited.

The inside was very dim. My eyes had not adjusted to the dimness. I saw the pillars that the Von Trap family hid behind in the church and I went over to get a closer look. I didn’t notice that there was a step down, and I tripped. This being a big empty church the sound of my tripping was loud and it echoes. Mandy was started by this sound and dropped the wooden sword she bought as a souvenir at the fortress/castle. This made an even louder noise. Which cause Jeff to exclaim loudly,
“Sweet Jesus”.


We girls may have been loud but at least we didn’t take the lords name in vain in a church. I think that might actually be one of the ten commandments, but I am not really sure as I am a sinner. Unlike my husband who is typically a saint who never swears or gets frustrated. That made my day, that Jeff cussed us in a church. Ha, I love to make fun of him for it. Now his sweet baby girls is going around cussing like her dad. Hee, hee. Don’t tell him that I taught it(Sweet Jesus) to her just to drive him crazy.

Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/19/2006 08:19:00 PM
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Adventures,
Family
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Photoshop is hard
Who knew? Anyways, I thought I would show you some of my work. I am not getting the best grades in the class, mostly B's but I sure am having fun. Anyways here are some of the logos I have designed all by myself for my dad's pickleball paddle company. As soon as I finish the class I am going to design him a website, I just want to learn a bit more about design first. What do y'all think?



If you want a pickleball paddle email me and I will get you in touch with my dad.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/19/2006 04:51:00 AM
Labels:
Spike's Pickleball Paddles
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Thursday, May 18, 2006
Sunburn
Yesterday we spent the entire day outside. I pushed Lily in the stroller. We met up with a friend and went to a playground. We walked to get the car. All told we spent about 5 hours in the sun.
I have had incredibly fair skin my entire life. You would think I would have learned by now to put on sunscreen. For some reason every year I need to get a good sunburn before I remember the sunscreen. This year I got one myself and one for Lily. Seems like yesterday that the snow melted. I guess I better get some sunscreen, hats, and start working our outside time around the sunburn hours of 10-2.
Our walk was lovely, though. I love where I live. We walked past a lake, a golf course, a forest. The cherry blossoms are almost gone. We didn't make it to any cherry blossom festivals this year. We tried, but it kept raining on weekends. The cherry trees are now filled with green leaves. I know that you all had spring months ago, but it finally reached me up here in the arctic circle.
I have a ton of homework to do, so best that I stay out of the sun today. Still the playground is calling my name. Plus, Lily's naps are so sweet after the playground. I can't believe I let Lily get a sunburn. She is nearly three and I managed to keep her from burning all this time. I hate sunburns.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/18/2006 07:03:00 PM
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Family
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Housework
I am the world's worst house keeper. So yesterday I tried really hard to practice being a good one. You know with my Mother in law coming I want to make a good impression. I did pretty good for the morning, we went to gymnastics and the thrift store. I did homework during Lily's nap. And then in the afternoon, I was going to do some hardcore housework, but I ended up playing with Lily. We found Lincoln Logs at the thrift store. We had so much fun. Then, I forced myself to fold laundry. I only had two loads to fold. I turned on the music, started folding. Then Lily came in and we started dancing, it took me over an hour to fold two loads of laundry and it isn't even all put away now, a day later.
Last night getting ready for bed, Lily started to sing songs and smile and giggle. She was being really, really cute and sweet. This worked for a bit, Jeff and I congratulated ourselves on making such a sweet child. Then, when I picked her up to take her to bed, she got ugly. Screaming, clawing at my shirt, snarling, at least she tried the cute first. So I smile, laugh, dance and sing to get out of housework, Lily does it to get out of bedtime. I prefer to think we are just fun girls who don't like to be tied down with rules. Heaven help me try to learn how to be a good housekeeper.
Today is the next weigh-in for my weight loss contest. It is such a lovely day, and Jeff took the car, so I am walking the three miles to the weigh-in location. Hopefully I will burn some calories on the way. Then I have to walk to Jeff's work, another 1/4 mile and then go grocery shopping. All before noon. I may be too tired to do housework today. At least Jeff's mom will get to see that her son is a saint, who has to endure an evil wife. Isn't that what every MIL wants?
Updated: I lost another three pounds at the weigh in bringing me to a total of 15 lbs in 6 weeks, only one week to go.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/17/2006 05:13:00 PM
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Family,
Military Life,
Weightloss
1 comments
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
New Template
I have been working on this for months. It is not yet exactly the way I want it. I think it is pretty though. The waterfall is from a beautiful place we like to visit very near our home. Bet you never imagined Japan looked like that.
We have tons of adventures planned. However none of them involve an airplane. We are going to see as much of Japan as we can during our last year here. The weather has finally warmed up, there are actual leaves on the trees and the temperature made it all the way to 70 this week. Now that it is warm, northern Japan is one of my favorite places on earth. Mountains, oceans, lakes, waterfalls, rice fields, everywhere you look it is unimaginably beautiful. The people are kind and easy going.
Having Jeff's mom here will give me an extra incentive to go see it all one more time. Plus, we are planning to go camping at least once a month. Which is another great way to see it all. And in July we are going to take the girls to Tokyo Disney and stay in a 5 star hotel in Tokyo. Jeff will climb Mount Fuji again, and the girls and I will explore Tokyo.
That is about it, our upcoming adventures and the new waterfall template.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/16/2006 06:28:00 PM
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Adventures,
Blogging
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Monday, May 15, 2006
My Brain, part II
Now that I have admitted that I leave things laying around the house, I might as well let it all hang out. When we moved into this house is was enormous. We had lived in a tiny two bedroom in Italy. There we had very little storage space, very few drawers, very few cupboards etc. So we didn't really have a lot of STUFF. Here, we had so many cupboards and drawers we didn't have enough STUFF to fill them.
Everytime I leave something on a counter or a table it gets put in an empty drawer or cupboard. Fast forward three years. All our cupboards and drawers are full and I don't know where anything is. This summer I get to go through each and everyone of those drawers and cupboards, organize and put it all away. Joy. Truthfully I enjoy organizing stuff, so it should be a blast.
Also this summer Jeff's mom has agreed to come and visit us for a month. I am very excited. How brave is she? We have an extra room, so I am working on getting it all nice for her. This is going to be our last summer here so having someone to show all my favorite spots to will get me off my butt and out and about. Plus Lily has never met her Grandma, and Mandy and I have only met her twice. I must begin cleaning.
In my desktop design class, which is an introductory class and I want to point out that I have no experience with art or creativity so be kind to me, anyways I am tasked with picking a business for future assignments. I picked my dad's real business and so I am able to make a logo, webpage, brochures etc for him to actually use. My dad actually retired about 7 years ago, they sold everything they own and bought a fifth wheel and are traveling the country. They learned of a sport called Pickleball and have become very involved. My dad has actually won medals in Pickleball Olympics etc. They have also made many friends their age, people who are also retired and living in fifth wheels. These people meet up in various locations and follow the good weather, winter in Arizona, summer in Oregon, that type of thing. Anyways my dad has started making Pickleball paddles and selling them for a bit of extra money. I will let you know how my design plays out. I hope to be of help.
I had a great mother's day, truthfully everyday is mothers day here at Chez Adventures. My family is nice to live with, they treat me well. I hope you all had a great mother's day as well. I sent my mom a present, which is not typical because I am usually forgetful, but hopefully it will get to her soon.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/15/2006 07:44:00 PM
Labels:
Family,
Military Life,
Spike's Pickleball Paddles
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Saturday, May 13, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
My Brain
When I read Angel's comment about leaving shoes around the house it reminded me so much of myself. I have this problem where I cannot do two things at once. So if someone is talking to me I will set things down and not remember where I put it, not remember actually setting it down at all.
For example, yesterday...
Mandy is applying to do the summer hire program again this year. This is where high school students get jobs working in various offices around the base. They get paid good money and it is actually counted as being a federal employee and all that comes with that status. Last year Mandy worked at the post office. There isn't any air conditioning on the base and her hours were 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Working in the warehouse sorting mail, including the heavy boxes. It must have been between 90 and 100 degrees in that warehouse. Nothing like some hard labor to teach a teenager values. This year she specifically requested working in an office, we will see.
Anyways, yesterday was the last day to turn in the application. So of course this is the day we chose to do it. I am a bad mother in that I didn't read the application or check to see what she wrote, I gave it to her and set up a time I would pick her up from school and drive her to where she needed to turn it in. When I got there she was still filling in the paperwork. I don't know why she was doing it then instead of the night before, but whatever. So it turns out she needed her passport and social security card. She was upset that I hadn't read the paperwork and bring everything she needed with me. Why would I read her paperwork? See, not a real nice mom. So I drove home to get what she needed while she went to the bank to set up a direct deposit and then walked to her dad's office to finish filling out the paperwork.
I drove all the way home (3 miles) through a lot of construction, at a rate of about 5 mph, on-base speed limits are crazy slow. I get home and I took Lily out of the car and brought her in the house with me. It is illegal to leave your child in the car even for a minute. If you break a law on base someone will turn you in. Anyways I get the passport, I have it in my hand. I try to get Lily to come back over to me, to not take off her shoes, and to go back to the car. During this process I, unbeknownst to my brain, set down the passport on the counter. I get Lily back in the car, buckled in her car seat and start driving the 3 miles back to where Mandy is. About 10 minutes later, remember I am driving really slow, I start thinking, where is that passport?
I pulled over to the side of the road and started looking threw my purse, my glove box, my pockets, no passport. I turn around and drive back home. I get Lily out of the car, go in the house, I don't put her down. I find the passport on the counter and grab it. I go back to the car, pick up Mandy and take her to the office she needs to turn in her paper work. We are 15 minutes late. We have the wrong passport (we have to have govt issued passports and tourist passports). The lady who is working there is so nice she lets it all slide and takes the application and it turns out we don't need the passport at all. I didn't go in with Mandy I went and turned in my application for a scholarship for next semester. Poor Mandy had to do it all on her own.
So this is my brain, I set things down all the time without realizing it. Tomorrow I will tell you how Jeff takes all the stuff I leave lying around and hides it from me.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/12/2006 08:58:00 PM
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Family
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Coffee of the Day
Bloggers Beach Blast - If you would like to buy some you can always click the link on the side panel. Anyways, this coffee is a mild blend with a chocolate and caramel flavor added, somehow they add this flavor right to the actual beans. When I first brewed it, the entire house filled with the aroma, it was wonderful.
Yesterday afternoon I got a call from Mandy's dentist, the impression they took of her teeth had to be re-done and I had to get there right away. It was time for Lily's nap. I brewed myself a pot of this lovely coffee, combined it with some splenda and 2% milk and put it in my thermos. I got Mandy out of school, drove her to the dentist. Lily fell asleep in her car seat just as I had planed. I sat there in the parking lot, facing some beautiful cherry trees in full bloom, I drank my coffee, and read my book. The windows of the car were open and it was a peaceful still afternoon. Very lovely.
It reminded me of about 12 years ago, when Mandy was the toddler, I would put her in her stroller and walk up to the local coffee shop. By the time I would get there Mandy would be asleep. While Mandy would nap in her stroller, I would enjoy an iced cafe mocha with my mom. We did this about once a week. I really miss my mom right now. Another member of our family is having a hard time, I wish I could be there for my parents, for my brothers, my nieces and nephews. It is hard to be so far away.
While I am unable to fix the problems in the lives of my family members, I am able to fix some things in my life. I am trying to take all of my, I wish I could be there to fix your life, energy and apply it to me and the things that could be fixed. I still have not been able to sleep in about a week from worry. I feel a bit deceived, you see I have always believed that eating right, drinking plenty of water, and daily exercise will cure what ails you. Now I think that is a bunch of bunk. I still can't handle stress. I know it has only been 6 weeks, and since I am only about 10% toward my goal I will most likely start to feel incrementally better as I get fitter and healthier. But, I no longer believe that I am going to become a person who handles stress well, I guess that is just not me. I will be a skinny girl who does not handle stress well, instead of a fat one. I guess that will have to do.
I was watching Oprah in the middle of the night last night. Granted I was half asleep, but it seems like she was saying that marriage is bad and that women loose their identity. What? There were a bunch of women who have chosen to not speak their minds because they are getting or have gotten married. What? Besides my sweet mother, I have never met a woman who is like this. All my friends are very outspoken and feel like marriage has enhanced their ability to be who they are. Am I the only one? Are you guys traditional wives that don't express opinions and smile to try and make your husband happy? I am not like that at all, poor Jeff. I never have to try and guess what he is thinking, and he never has to guess what I am thinking. We just let it all hang out, I try to say things in a nice way, and I don't just say a bunch of mean stuff just to be mean. But, I don't feel like I gave up a part of me to be a wife. Maybe because I was old when I got married? (31). I guess I didn't realize there are still women who are trying to be stepford wives. I think Oprah made that up.
This makes me curious, I am inviting you to weigh in on the most debated issue in our home. Every marriage has a conflict that is absolutely unresolvable. Jeff and I will never change, yet I am curious what you think. So, here goes, what we fight about is the remote control. Not who gets to hold it, because Jeff cannot be in the same room as the tv without, the power, in his hand. We argue about what to do with the remote when we go to bed. One of us thinks it goes on the tv, the other thinks it goes on the coffee table. So where do you put your remote when you go to bed, near the tv or near the seating area? Just curious.
Sorry I haven't written in awhile, it is curious that I get more hits on the days I don't write than on the ones I do, go figure.
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Marshamlow
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5/10/2006 10:51:00 PM
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Thursday, May 04, 2006
Amish Quilts
When an Amish woman is making a quilt she purposefully adds a small imperfection, only Jesus is perfect and she doesn't want to have a perfect quilt. When I was taking my five hour quilting lessons, my instructors would tell me that mine was an Amish quilt whenever I noticed a mistake. The showed me how to look at it in perspective, from a distance and notice the beauty. Since then I have been applying that lesson to everyday life. I have been saying to myself, that was an Amish quilt. I believe this has caused me to see more of the positive things in life as opposed to the small imperfections, that I am usually focusing all of my attention.
For example, I had to take the final exam for a class a couple of days ago. So far I have had 100% of all the points possible on every assignment and every quiz. I have been trying very hard. But, when the teacher gave us a study guide for the final I kept putting off studying. The day of the final, which was scheduled at 5:30pm I chose to go play outside most of the day instead of studying. I had a blast, beautiful days are few and far between. Lily met some sweet little girls her size and had the time of her life. I took the final and got a 78%, wow that is bad! I don't know that I have ever gotten a 78 and I had the potential to do much better. But, that was an Amish quilt! I still get an A in the class, so really sitting in the sunshine watching Lily have such a great day, was the right choice and I am happy with my 78.
Why is it that the Blogger spell check does not recognize the word blog?
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/04/2006 10:57:00 PM
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Family
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Average Loser
We had our third weigh-in for The Biggest Loser contest. Can you believe it has already been 2 weeks since the last one? This time I lost 1 and a 1/2 pounds, which was a bit of a let down.
However, this does bring my 4 week total to a whopping 12 lbs, and that is good. Also, I have been exercising for 6 consecutive weeks. I don't know I have ever stuck with it that long before. I have noticed a difference. Not just in my abilities at the gym, but in my day to day life as well. I no longer have aches and pains. It no longer hurts my knees to walk down the stairs, etc. So I may not be winning the contest but I am feeling a bit better and on the right track. I wouldn't say that I feel like a new person, I think the changes so far have been creeping up on me and very small, perhaps as I get smaller the changes in how I feel will get bigger.
Posted by
Marshamlow
at
5/04/2006 05:12:00 PM
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Weightloss
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Overseas Living
I would imagine that the thought of living in a foreign country would seem an odd choice for an American family. We volunteered to come here to Japan and are trying to find a way to go to live in another foreign country for our next assignment. Must sound like we are not very fond of America. In truth we love our country, our culture and miss our families.
Living on an American military base in a foreign country is in some ways like living in an American city, with a big fence around it, in the middle of Japan. My daughter goes to an American high school, with American teachers, American text books, and other American students. The difference is that they are all military brats. We live in an American neighborhood, with American neighbors, American built home, American playgrounds, library, dry cleaners, grocery store, furniture store, gym, etc. So in many regards we are raising our kids in America.
When we leave the base we are in a foreign country. However, the city where I live fully one third of the population is American. They can all tell from my neon white skin that I am American, they all speak English and I try to learn a bit a Japanese but basically I am lazy and rely on their kindness. I get to shop in a Japanese grocery store, but then go to the American one on base to pick up the American things I cannot do without. I can eat at a Japanese restaurant, but they are kind enough to provide me with a menu in English. I enjoy going to foreign countries, but I always go with the help of a English speaking guide, who helps me with the hard stuff.
I would have loved to go to Korea. The base is actually less remote than Misawa. Here we have to travel to Tokyo to get a flight to America, traveling to Tokyo is very expensive and it is very far away. In Korea, the base is only 30 miles from Seoul, which has flights to America. The military is weird about Korea, Jeff would have to get orders there, and then ask permission to bring the family. A lot of families are able to go there, I checked and the high school has 300 students, ours has 550. Anyways, they might say no you cannot bring your family and then the girls and I would have to go live somewhere else without Jeff for a year. They cannot just tell Jeff yes or no if he can bring his family until he has the orders. Once you have orders, it is orders and you have to go. Right now he has a choice, because he already did a tour in Korea in 1998. If no one volunteers for Korea, which usually happens, they give orders to a non-volunteer, Jeff would most likely not fall in that category since so many people have never been. I guess Korea is not meant to be.
There are a couple of reasons we would prefer to live in a foreign country as opposed to return to America. The biggest is Mandy. She will be 3/4 of the way through her Sophomore year of high school when we leave. If we go to another overseas base, she would be with a school full of other Military brats, who move all the time. She would continue on with the same text books, same curriculum, same everything. Overseas schools are awesome, they spend twice as much money per student as in the States. The high schools are state of the art, the teachers are well paid, they have a phenomenal amount of brand new stuff. And all the students are military kids, which means they are for the most part a great group of kids. There are a ton of opportunities, they whole community comes together for the schools. I cannot go on enough about how great the schools are.
The second reason we would like to remain overseas is because of the travel. We love to travel. However, my husband makes around 30k a year. The military doesn't pay all that well, they pay you a little more if you live overseas, and it is a bit cheaper to drive down the street of the country where you live than it is to fly here from America. We would never be able to afford to travel like we do from America. This is our only chance.
Third is money. In America I would have to work, I would prefer to finish my degree first and I prefer to be a stay at home mom.
When we first go married and took Mandy out of her comfort zone she was not at all happy. She had a hard time adjusting to having a dad and to living in another country. I feel like she is better for having gone through that adjustment as a child rather than as an adult. She learned that the world is the world, people are the same everywhere, you are who you are everywhere. It doesn't matter if you live in the same house your whole life or a new house every year. She tends to be the type of person who likes consistency, she likes to watch the same movies over and over, she reads the same books again and again. I tend to be the type of person who likes change. I feel that having had to face her fears and see that change wont kill her, will help her in life. Mandy will never stay in an abusive relationship because she fears the alternative. She will never stay in a job she hates because she doesn't know what else is out there. I feel that it is important to realize that the world you live in is your choice and that you are not a victim of unfortunate circumstances and I feel that this life has effectively taught her that lesson.
It wasn't easy or fun all the time, but she has gone from being afraid to being very self sufficient and confident.
There was a special duty assignment available for MSGTs it was in Korea, I am not kidding. There was also one in Thailand. Jeff really wants to apply it is a position at the Embassy. We were all so excited, however, Jeff was informed that due to the fact that his career field is severely undermanned they would most likely not release him to do a special duty. I told him to apply anyways. He is going to officially ask permission to leave the career field before applying. So we will see. There is a very slim possibility that we will get to go to Thailand, but most probably we will have to wait for the next list in September.
Coffee of the day: Bloggers Boot Up Blend
Today I made it in my Italian stove top percolator type espresso maker, and I heated some milk in my Italian stove top milk frothing device. I am closing my eyes and imagining that I am sitting at a sidewalk cafe in Pordenone sipping my cappuccino and eating gelato. Watching little old ladies in fur coats, with high heels, riding their bicycles while smoking with one hand and holding and umbrella with the other hand- on their way to church to say their morning prayers.
Posted by
Marshamlow
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5/03/2006 05:24:00 PM
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Military Life
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006
The Coffee is here, the coffee is here!
Coffee of the day: Bloggers Boot Up Blend
'Blogging Rocks.' Log on to an amazing medium blend of African, Central and South American Coffees. Rich taste and smooth finish for the perfect breakfast blend.I just recieved my package of Boca Java in the mail. I had to have it sent to my parents and have my parents mail it to me, if you order some yourself it will only take a couple of days to get to your house. We don't get UPS here, only regular US post office type mail. I have been looking forward to making my first pot since last night. I even considered having some before bed, but I need my sleep.
I have been having the worst week, I am sick, I didn't loose any weight at all last week, even with my big 10 lb weight loss the first two weeks of the contest, our team came in 16th place (out of 70 teams), I have a proctored exam today, I can't figure out how to make a parent-child sublist for the database I am creating, Lily is being a pain (she is sick too), well that is all I can think of but I am sure there is more.
So I am running around and stop by the post office, and there waiting for me is the coffee. I am so excited. A gift for me? Yeah. Perhaps I imagined it, but from that moment to this, my luck has completely turned around and all things are going quite well. Now I am drinking that first cup. It was so worth the wait. I decided to go with, the Bloggers Boot Up Blend for my first cup, a breakfast blend. It is amazing and rich, quite the wake up fuel. Now I am certain I will have the fortitude to study for the exam. No more blogging on empty for me.
If you are like me and in desperate need of a pick me up, this is the best, getting a package of delicious coffee in the mail.
In other news...
The list of overseas assignments came out yesterday. For my husband the assignments available are Korea and Korea. Looks like we are waiting for the next and final list of overseas assignments coming to us in September. If there isn't anything on it we will be heading back to the good old US of A.
Posted by
Marshamlow
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5/02/2006 10:01:00 PM
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