Cookie Monster

Tomorrow is the big day. We start our adventure. Jeff has always said that he would love to buy a Winnebagel (he talks funny) and travel the country now that we are home. Instead of a Winnebago we will be doing it in our little Nissan. We traveled Europe in our little Nissan, now we have added a person (Lily) which means even less space. I think that hopefully I have learned how to take fewer things on trips. We shall see? Will we end up crammed into the car unable to move while we are driving across the country or will we just have a change of under wear in our back pocket? We shall see.

I have put off everything until the last moment. As per my usual procrastinating self. Yesterday was such a bad day. Lily was having issues and that plus the stress of seeing Jeff's family gave me a head ache. I basically did nothing yesterday. Now I have way too much to do today. At least Lily is feeling better.

The cookie thing will be the death of me. Remember how I was so excited upon our arrival here in America that I found cookies for Miss Lily to eat. (Due to her food allergies this was quite a feat). I even learned to bake some and she loves mine even more than the store bought type. I was so proud. I also found some chocolate milk that was Lily friendly. Last weekend she went to a birthday party and I baked her a cake to bring along and slip to her, which she also loved. Now the end result is that Lily will no longer eat any food. All she will eat is cookies, ice cream, cake, chocolate milk, french fries, and cheese. Talk about constipation. I have no idea how this happened. It feels like one minute, she ate mostly veggies and fruit, a little meat, some cheese, rice and beans. Now she will only eat sweets. When she takes a bite of broccoli (one of her favorite foods) she spits it out and makes faces, like I have poisoned her. Even watermelon, strawberries and kiwi no longer hold any charm for her. So I have halted all sugar.

I once read in one of those horrid parenting magazines that the taste of sugar impairs kids taste buds and makes the fruits and veggies taste very bitter. I think that this may have been what happened. So no more sugar until she starts to eat regular again. Which means that she has refused to eat at all. The refusal to eat and the constipation caused us to have a very unpleasant day yesterday. Now she is on a fruit, veggie, meat and water diet until her poop is better. She refuses to eat any of it and is very hungry and mean.

Fussy kid + too many errands = my day. Yesterday, when she got up from her nap and was still crying and crying for no reason. It was raining buckets and buckets outside and I opened the back door and went out onto the porch and splashed in all the puddles until I was soaked. Lily soon joined me. I was laughing and running around and acting like a total nut. In no time at all she was out in the rain, splashing in the puddles and laughing as well. It only took about two minutes, but those two minutes caused us to re-boot our day and we had peace for the rest of the evening. A moment of laughter and acting like idiots, and we were able to get past all the tension of the day.

Hopefully she will get over herself and start to eat again soon. Tomorrow we will be together in the car, the whole family for 12.5 hours, plus stops. Don't you wish you were me?

Mrs. Kravitz

Do you remember Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched? The nosey buttinsky neighbor, she is living next door to me, times a thousand. Mrs. Kravitz, AKA my neighbor, stops by daily to see what I am doing. She brings her granddaughter, who is Lily's age, and drops her off to play. No invitation, just a knock on the door and a here is my granddaughter.

Her granddaughter is scared of my dog, so I have to put the dog out back while the granddaughter is over playing. At first I thought this was OK, because Lily loves her granddaughter and they play together nicely. But, she wont listen to me. Mrs. Kravitz often sends her 30 year old son who lives with her over to fetch the granddaughter. The 30 yo son wont come in the house to get her, he refuses to enter my house as if I have cooties, and just waits on my front porch. I spend 15 or 20 minutes trying to convince the child to leave, she ignores me. I finally picked her up and handed her to her uncle and shut the door. She left behind a barbie which I have not returned.

Now I find myself hiding in my house. I have planted some flower seeds out front, hoping to grow a patch of lovely wild flowers, they have to be kept moist. I used to gently water them three times a day, now I am afraid to go outside. Sometimes I pretend not to see her and but she will call my name 30 times trying to get my attention. I am starting to think the reason I don't have any friends is because I am anti-social.

One time when Mrs. Kravitz brought over her granddaughter unannounced she decided to stay and chat. She spent an hour telling Jeff and I about her religious convictions. She has decided that Katrina did not destroy her things because God loves her and protected his favorite people. It is now her job to witness to us heathens that if we are good little Christians like her God will protect us as well. I think this is the conversation which made me feel uncomfortable around her. She also told us that the reason no one likes her is because she is black and her husband is white. She says that this is both of their second marriages, that his family including kids, and her family including kids are very upset about their union. The she goes to a white church and no one will even make eye contact with her because of her race. She has been married to her husband for many years, I forget how many but you would think that they would be over the race thing by now. Anyways, I think it is more her very imposing personality? But, what do I know about racism? I grew up in California and not the South, it is very different here, some people act like it is still 1862, you would be shocked, I am shocked all the time. But really Mrs. Kravitz I don't like you because you are rude. Jeff and I sat there for an hour listening to this stuff.

She also likes to tell me all about her job, and how much money she makes and how many lovely things she is planning on buying for herself. She is a "career woman" or so she says. She is a Realtor who seems to always be at home, or at least every time I go outside. I think she sits at her window like the Mrs. Kravitz from Bewitched waiting for me to leave my house. Sometimes she needs a break from her granddaughter, who she volunteers to watch, because her daughter works nights. This means that because I don't work it is my job to relieve her when she needs a break, because I am not a "career woman" I guess that means I am a no body, neighborhood kid watcher for free.

She does invite Lily over to play. But, I know this will show you how crazy I am, but I don't let my three year old go play in the house of a relative stranger. I don't even know their last name for heaven's sake. I will confess to you that Lily has never been cared for by anyone but Jeff, Mandy and I. (Except one time a really close friend of mine kept her for a couple of hours but only once). I realize that this is crazy, but we just moved here and don't really know anyone. Plus, we have a 16 year old who lives with us who can watch her sister. I really can't say how much of this is me not trusting anyone and how much is just circumstances.

What I really want is to make friends with my other neighbors, the ones like me, who don't show up and drop off their kids with a stranger. I guess the grass is always greener. To be fair to Dixie (my favorite native Mississippian), Mrs. Kravitz is from Michigan and not a native Mississippian - none of the natives have shown up at my door uninvited. They do wave when they drop by or introduce themselves if we happen to be outside at the same time.

What about you, do you have any crazy annoying neighbors?

Favoritest

Before we moved to Mississippi, Lily's favorite thing to do was puzzles. We did a dozen puzzles everyday easily. She would do the 24 piece puzzles on her own and the 100 piece puzzles with a little help from me. My help included turning over pieces and separating sections but I was never allowed to put together an pieces. Since we have moved, she has pulled out the puzzles a couple of times, but totally lost interest before completing it. So weird.

Now Lily spends most of her time playing with her babies. She talks to them, she cooks them breakfast, right now she is watching her favorite TV program and all her babies are lined up on the couch watching with her.

Before we moved, Lily would never let me help her with anything. She dressed herself, used the potty, washed herself in the bath, climbed in and out of the car etc, she DID NOT LIKE HELP. Now she will tell me that she cannot dress herself and ask for me to help her??? She likes to be pampered now and to snuggle. Even as a tiny baby Lily never liked to be held, she like to be facing the world and on the go, now she likes to cuddle.

I often wonder who she will become as an adult. She is sometimes quiet and shy and sometimes very opinionated and forthright. She can be a quiet intellect who likes to solve complicated puzzles or she can be a running, jumping, wrestling, bouncing off the walls maniac and I think she will become athletic.

Her fourth birthday is in about a month and a half, I still sometimes call her the baby. She really has moved on from being a baby and even from being a toddler. I really love this age, the age of discovery, the age when Mommy is the most smartest favoritest person in the world.

trips

My birthday was a lot of fun. We went to New Orleans and saw some art. I think the thing I like best about going on trips is the fact that we spend time together as a family. Stuck together in the car for hours on end, we have to talk to each other. My family is fun and full of energy and I enjoy hanging out with them. Most of the time everyone is so busy that we are just passing each other at meals and what not.

This coming weekend we are taking a trip up to visit Jeff's family in Virginia, lots of time together, Yeah. Too bad I am starting school this week. I am desperately trying to get ahead of the game so that I can enjoy my vacation. But, I am running into a lot of stumbling blocks. I have to download a ton of programs to the computer and install them and it is not going well. Once that gets done I think I will be ok.

We are going to be visiting Washington DC one day during our trip, I have never been. We are trying to come up with something that might be Lily friendly to do in DC. We will definetly be going back some day, and I don't want to try and see it all. Any suggestions? What is fun to do in DC?

We are also going to spend a couple of days in Tennessee seeing the Smoky Mountains. I have never been to Tennessee either, any advice on what to see or do? Jeff wants to follow trails and look at mountains. Ok, now that a half an hour is done what next. ha.ha.

Thanks for all the good advice and birthday wishes last week.

Do you ever get that voice in the back of your thoughts telling you that you are dumb, fat, ugly, stupid and no one likes you? Mine has been really loud this week. I can usually get rid of it with some sort of project or accomplishment, some sunshine or laughter. Mine keep lingering lately. I guess that means I should get up off the couch and go accomplish something.

Bed.Bed.Bed.Bed

WWE is coming to Biloxi. Mandy and Jeff are excited to be able to see their beloved wrestling in person. Lily and I do not care for violence. Or rather we don't care to witness violence, we are good with the violence toward each other. Mandy and Jeff, they are both much more peaceful than either Lily or I.

Today Lily and I had a Royal Rumble. An argument over what to call her "bed", she wants me to call it her "sleepy night-night" I refused. Two hours of screaming ensued. It may seem like a silly thing to stand up to her about, and it really isn't important. Yet, I refused to say what she told me to say when she told me to say it and therefore she threw a royal fit. This was not ok.

I had asked her to pick up her puzzle, before she dumps out a third one onto the table. She told me her belly hurt and she was too tired to clean up her mess. I told her is she was that tired she should go to bed. She was furious. Because she prefers it if I say, go sleepy night-night. And she prefers it if I clean up her toys.

After two hours of screaming, sobbing so loud and so violently that she almost puked, I was able to explain that she can say "sleepy night-night" and I can say "bed" and we can still live in the same house. Ten minutes later she was crying about her shoes.

I got a lot of house work done during the fit. I vacuumed, she screamed. I mopped, she screamed. I cleaned the bathrooms, she screamed. Whenever she slowed down a bit I would give her a hug and try to move on, she would politely ask me to say "sleepy night-night" I would politely refuse, screaming ensued. I started to think that I wished I had been born a couple hundred years earlier. First there is the chunky women being pretty, and then there is the switch. Instead of all this drama I could beat her and we could move on. It sometimes seems like if we could just avoid all this sensitivity crap, give her a good smack and move on. Enlightenment, what joy.

It is ever so ironic that just yesterday I emailed an old friend that Lily is being so sweet lately, that I believe she is past her throwing fits stage. Guess I should think again.

She is sweetly putting together a puzzle right now. All fresh from the bath. I am thinking in my head.

Bed.
Bed.
Bed.
Bed.

I feel better now. Has she cleaned up the other puzzles yet?

no.

dots like Dixie

• The votes have been tallied and it was a close race, with The Memory Keepers Daughter nearly over taking The Last Girls, but in the end The Last girls won it by a nose. Since we had so much interest in the two books I was thinking we could read The Last Girls for our June book and The Memory Keepers Daughter for our July book. Any thoughts? All those interested in reading with the book club this month, you have hopefully plenty of time to acquire a copy of The Last Girls by Lee Smith. We will have our discussion at the end of June. We can do the discussion sooner if y'all are fast readers.



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• I guess Jeff was reading my blog last week when I wrote something about being sad that there aren't any adventures on the horizon. He talked me into a trip to visit his family in Virginia. He really had to twist my arm. He gave me a two week notice and I have to plan a 12 day road trip, activities, hotels, foods for Lily. Plus I start school next week. I love that man. It might sound weird, but I love to plan fun adventures. Plus, I am excited to show off the girls and Jeff loves his family so much. He lights up like a Christmas tree just talking about the trip. Who doesn't love a happy daddy?



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• I can't seem to grow flowers. Lily and I keep trying. Today I gave her the hose and put her in a swimming suit. I asked her to water the browning lawn. She mostly watered me. Meanwhile I weeded the garden and added some flower seeds. I know that it is well past the time I was supposed to plant seeds, this is probably why I am not really successful at the whole growing thing. I don't follow rules well. We ended up very muddy, but we had a good time and that is really all that counts.



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• Saturday is my birthday. I have somehow convinced the family that for my birthday we should all go to New Orleans, to visit the New Orleans Museum of Art. They have an exhibit called Femme, Femme, Femme with paintings of French Women on loan from the Louvre. France's way of helping New Orlean's get some tourism dollars in their coffers. I am so excited.

Hot

Sunday, I spent the entire morning and most of the day updating my dad's website, Spike's Pickleball Paddles. Pickleball is a game played by mostly Seniors and high school students. It is similar to both tennis and badminton, there is a court, a net, a whiffle ball, and a paddle. The ball travels at a slower speed, making it easier and less strenuous to keep it in play. For a more complete description of the game, I made a "What is Pickleball" page on the website. Pickleball Paddles were originally made of wood. Spike's Pickleball Paddles are made with a fiber glass shell, honeycomb aluminum core, and a custom cushioned grip...

After spending so much time with just me and my computer, I was in the mood for a walk. Jeff was giving me the day off from taking care of Lily. The two of them had not left the house the entire day. I was able to convince them to take a walk with me down to the water. It was late afternoon, a bit on the warm and humid side. We had a lovely walk, saw the water, did not see the alligator, and walked home.

When we walked in the door the house felt warm. I thought it was just a result of the invigorating walk. I sat under the fan for awhile and wasn't cooling down. I looked at the thermostat and noticed that the temperature in the house was a bit higher than what it should have been. I thought it was odd but continued on with the process of cooking dinner. I used my new Mother's day wok and made a lovely stir fry, using up all the misc. left over meats and veggies which had accumulated in my refrigerator over the last week. I set aside some of the stir fried meats and veggies, along with some fresh garlic and ginger, for Lily. I made a sauce for the rest of us: 1 tsp instant dashi + 1 cup boiling water, 3 tbs soy sauce, 1 tbs vinegar, 1 tbs sake, 1 tbs tapioca starch. It was really good. Would have been better with some wasabi.

After dinner and dishes, the house still felt warm to me. I looked again at the thermostat and noticed that the temperature had gone up even more. Upon further investigation it seems that the fan on the "thingy" outside was not working. New house + $525 home inspection = broken air cond. after less than 2 months. Luckily we negotiated a home warranty with our sellers. However, I was not aware that this home warranty meant that I had to pay the first $100 of the bill.

Turned out to be a broken capacitor, the bill was $130. So my negotiating skills brought me a savings of $30 whole dollars. (When the guy told me it was the capacitor I kept thinking, isn't it a flux capacitor that allows for time travel in Back to the Future?) At least I have cool air raining down on me again. I lived for the last seven years with no a/c. I thought Italy was bad with temps in the upper 90s. But, at least it cooled off at night. In Misawa the humidity was such that the temps at night mirrored the temps during the day. Those were some long hot nights. I practically had a panic attack about the a/c when it went out here. Even though I know that it is a luxury and not a necessity. When in America...

I think that just about everyone who expressed an interest in the book club has had a chance to vote. I will leave it up one more day just in case.

The book vote

With Four great books suggested I am putting up a vote poll on the sidebar. I was thinking we should vote and pick sooner than Friday. As soon as I get everyone's vote I will post the results. No matter which book we pick for this month we can always read the other ones later. They all appear to be great reads, I think I am going to order them all, just for fun.

I am not really sure how an online bookclub is supposed to work? I was thinking that once we have read the book I will post the bookclub questions on my blog and we can discuss. I will invite anyone who wishes to participate in the discussion to join us. Most of the time the discussion questions use the book as a jumping off point but you don't really have to read to have an opinion.


Dream When You Are Feeling Blue
by: Elizabeth Berg


The Memory Keeper's Daughter
by: Kim Edwards


The Last Girls
by: Lee Smith


Ahab's Wife
by: Sena J. Naslund

BookWormsRus - book club

I am hijacking my friend Angel's book club this month. I am inviting everyone reading this to participate, even you.

The first step is for us to pick a book. Any suggestions? Favorite books, new books you are dying to read - all suggestions welcome. Even if you are not interested in participating in the book club I would love it if you would make a recommendation for us.

Leave a comment or send me an email to make your suggestion. I will post a list of all the suggestions next Friday and then we will vote.

where am i?

I have been doing a lot of driving. My skills have improved and my terror levels have dropped. I have been staying on the correct side of the road. (FYI: in Japan they drive on the other side of the road-like England) One time I drove above the actual speed limit. I was on a 55 mph stretch of highway and I was going 60. I was still being passed by everyone, but at least I was a bit more respectable.

I picked Mandy up from school (she usually rides the bus because I am evil-but when she has an after school activity I have to go and get her). While driving home, instead of going down the road to our house, I went in another direction. There was this area of town I had always wanted to see. While I was researching the area, I had found a ton of houses in this area that were for sale. My Realtor had told me that all the homes in that area had been flooded in Katrina so I hadn't looked at any of the houses. But, I was still curious.

I didn't know how exactly to get there from where I was. I didn't know exactly which road to take or where to turn. I asked Mandy to look at the map. She was not amused. She was upset that I had kidnapped her and wasn't driving directly home. Lily was upset about that too. Mandy at first refused to look at the map. Then she pretended not to understand how to read the map. I kept going and basically explained that we weren't going home until we found what we were looking for. We could meander around without direction or she could guide me. I also explained we were low on gas so she might want to hurry or we would be meandering around on foot.

Mandy map reading skills improved immensely and soon we found the neighborhood in question. We drove up and down the streets for awhile. We looked at the beach in this neighborhood. We determined that we like our neighborhood better and we are very happy with our choice of a house. I made a u-turn near the beach. No one was on the road around here, we were chatting and looking around. I guess the fact that my mind was not on the driving 100 percent and the u-turn got me confused because I did it again, I drove on the wrong side of the road. Mandy pointed it out that I was driving on the wrong side. At first I disagreed.

I was all set to tell you that I no longer have to even think about which side of the road I am driving on. That I have re-acclimated myself to America. I guess not. I will probably be confused for life. Mandy got a big kick out of my mistake. She enjoyed the rest of the ride home, laughing at me. We even saw some really cool looking mansions.

Thursday Thirteen # 7

1. My Lily has trouble digesting egg, corn, and wheat. She has been out of sorts for days and spent the night throwing up. Which leads me to believe that I inadvertently fed her something which I shouldn't have. However, I cannot for the life of me figure out what it was that is making her sick. Very frustrated, and very tired.
   
   
2. I made my dad a website as a project for one of my classes several months ago. Now it is an official website. Spike's Pickleball Paddles. I have to update the content a bit. I originally made the website according to the teacher's instructions -without using any web authoring programs (typing out the HTML by hand). Now I can use web authoring tools. But, the truth is they all confuse me. I am leaving the logo on my blog with a link to his website. Feel free to put it up on your website if you feel like giving my dad some free advertisement. Or going over to his new website to buy yourself some pickleball paddles.
   
   
3. I start my next class May 29. This one is introduction to Oracle and SQL, which is data base coding. I am very excited. I already got the book, can't wait to start reading it.
   
   
4. I joined the paperback book swap, the link is on the sidebar. It is a free service, you join by posting 9 books you are willing to mail to anyone in the club who requests the book. For the first 9 books posted you receive 3 credits. Each credit allows you to order a book posted on the website from another member. There are currently over a million books posted. They are all organized and categorized and it is easy to find something you like. Every time you send a book to another member you get another credit. I am loving it. I usually donate my old paperbacks to thrift stores or friends. I read many books that I have no intention of reading again and they accumulate all over the place. Now I can send them off in the mail and get another book for free. Also, they tell you how much the postage is, so I don't even go to the Post office, I just wrap up the book and stick on some stamps, put it in the mail box and put up the little flag. I am loving it, just so you know. You pay for postage when you send and don't pay anything when you receive. You can list hard cover books and audio books as well.
   
   
5. Speaking of books... I am currently reading Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weirner. It is a really good book. However, I miss my bookclub, bookwormsrus. Let's start reading books again, guys. Instead of making Angel do all the work, why don't we each take turns hosting the book club. I can start, this month I will host the bookclub on my blog and then someone else can volunteer for next month. Or we can do it every other month or every three months. Anyone interested?
   
   
6. My lemon tree out back has a ton of little green balls on every branch. I couldn't be more excited. The Gardenia bush is also blossoming and the Magnolia trees all over Mississippi are beginning to bloom.
   
   
7. Does anyone know how to quilt? I took a quilting class about a year ago. It was so much fun. Now my grandma who is an expert quilter is sending me some squares she made and I am going to be putting them together to make an actual quilt. I am both scared and excited. The only time I have ever sewed anything was at the class, not even sure how to thread my machine. But, I am hoping to get some quilting books, bite the bullet and learn to sew. Maybe I should take another class?
   
   
8. Now that we are all done moving. Now that my parents have come to visit and gone home. Now I have no exciting adventures on the horizon. We don't have any summer trips planned. No exciting vacations to exotic locations. I have dreams of someday going to far away places. But, for the foreseeable future my plans are ... I have no plans. I am having a very hard time with this fact. I am missing the lure of the next adventure.
   
   
9. Do you have your Harry Potter plan in place yet? Our closest bookstore is not sure if they are going to do the midnight sale. Mandy and I are planning to find a midnight sale somewhere and we also ordered one from Amazon just to be safe. So if all goes well she will start the book at midnight and I will be able to read the one from Amazon instead of having to wait for Mandy to be done. Last book, she read it straight through in one day. Took me a week. I had Mandy read Misery in case Harry dies so we could have a plan as to how to resurrect him. I am not sure Mandy is over Dumbledore yet. If Harry goes, we shall never recover.
   
   
10. Most days Lily and I get up around 6 or 7. We like to take it easy and piddle around the house until 10 or 11 and then get out of the house and do our thing. I would really like to change this schedule so that we get out of the house at 7 or 8. The conditions outdoors here in Mississippi as we edge closer to summer are not as favorable in the afternoon as they are in the morning. Change is hard though and I am finding it extremely difficult to get out of the house before 10.
    
    
11. I would really like to incorporate some exercise into my schedule as well. Change is hard.
    
    
12. I have been working very hard to make a Lily friendly cookie, see # 1. My gluten-free blogging buddies, Laura (recipe blog here) and Natalie have inspired me to keep on trying. I have been tweaking and baking several batches of cookies per week. I am getting closer with every batch. The last couple batches have been so good that Lily will no longer eat the store bought gluten-free cookies, my parents and Jeff both said they were good, and the last batch even got the thumbs up from Mandy. This is big because Mandy doesn't pull punches and she, my parents and Jeff are not on gluten-free diets so their feedback comes from a different place than Lily. I still have a couple of kinks to work out and then I will post the recipe. It is a cocoa and peanut butter cookie with sour cream subbed for the eggs. There is too much butter in it though and I would like to get it to be a little less of a heart attack cookie and a little more like a snack than a treat if you know what I mean.
    
    
13. I found an Asian market in my area. Instead of having to drive two cities over into a bad area of town I can go just down the street to a lovely clean well lit store. I bought a box of instant Dashi (Japanese fish broth) and have been making all kinds of delicious foods. I used it to make miso soup by sifting a couple of tbs of miso paste into the broth and then adding veggies, meat, and noodles. I used the dashi in place of chicken broth in some of my stir fry recipes, so good. The dashi tastes to me like that broth you get at a Japanese restaurant with the green onions and crunchy stuff. The instant stuff is as easy to make as boiling water and tastes perfect to me.
    
    
    
    Happy TT. To find more lovely lists of Thursday Thirteens visit:
    The Thursday Thirteen website
    Technorati Thursday Thirteen tag.

good byes

My parents were here but now they are gone.

Last night I watched the Series Finale of Gilmore Girls and I am not sure if all the crying was from the Gilmore Girls goodbye or from saying goodbye to my parents.

Alligators and Pictures

Sorry I have been neglecting my blog and all my blogging pals. My parents are visiting and we are having so much fun that I have hardly had a moment on the computer. I have taken some cute pics of the alligator who lives down the street from me. I was excited to be able to introduce her (Sue the alligator) to my parents. That day that we walked down to the Gulf from my house we also saw two pelicans and some dolphins frolicking in the surf. The fishermen on the pier had some shrimp, carp and crabs. We had an eventful morning walk. Lily has been a sweet little angel and Mandy too. Really lovely visit.

Another example of the lovely people here in Mississippi... Jeff and I collect artwork from all the places we have lived. We were in need of things to hang on our walls and we have found some lovely pieces that remind us of our adventures. While our things were being shipped here to Mississippi from Japan, Jeff's two favorite pieces were damaged. We hadn't seen them and the movers told us they were being restored. Still hadn't heard any news and we were beginning to think of these pieces as being lost. On Saturday afternoon as I was getting Lily ready for her nap there was a knock on the door. There on my front porch was another example of why I love Mississippi.

There they are, Jeff's two paintings, completely restored and looking lovely. The people who brought them by in the trunk of their car worked at the place where the pictures were being restored and just happened to be coming out to my town for the weekend for a Mother's Day visit. They knew that the paintings were valuable and that we were a military family and so they took it upon themselves to just bring the painting to our house. What a lovely surprise. Who does that? I almost cried.

In fact earlier in the day a neighbor had stopped by to tell me that she had just set up a water slide in her yard and would Lily like to come over and play. My parents were off on an adventure with Mandy, Jeff was at softball practice and I got to sit on their porch and visit while Lily wore herself out. Lots of nice things have been coming my way this week, I am a bit overwhelmed. Here are some pictures of the alligator, see if you can find her...

Do you see her?

Listen to Me

My parents are coming, my parents are coming, tomorrow.

This is a big deal for me. Since we have been traveling the planet we haven't had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with family, Jeff's or mine. This is the thing I have missed the most about being away. They are coming for a week. Staying with us.

This gave me the kick in the pants I needed to get some more unpacking done. We hung pictures, unpacked the last couple of boxes etc. I still have to organize Lily's closet and the garage, but we are well on our way to being all moved in.

Except the yard, the yard needs some serious tlc. Hopefully mom my can give me advice, I have a brown thumb and my mom can make anything grow.

Other than fixing up the house, we had a very busy weekend: gymnastics, Renaissance fair, May festival, Cinco de Mayo celebration.

Lily is taking gymnastics here. She is still having problems following directions. Not sure if I should give up on the whole gymnastics concept or keep trying. I was debating spending time working on her listening and following directions skills at home to help her improve at gymnastics. She really has no interest in gymnastics, but I really want her to learn how to listen to another adult and take turns etc. I will have to think on it.

I play games with Lily, games like Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, Green light -red light, and memory. When I explain the rules to Lily she has trouble following the directions, she looks at me like she does not comprehend what it is I am saying and she acts as if she doesn't comprehend what I am saying. Then, when she gets it - she will explain the game to me in her words and all of a sudden she directs me how to play and then she understands the game. It sometimes seems like she is incapable of doing anything I tell her to do, but if she gives the directions it is all OK. Maybe it is just my imagination. But, even getting dressed or cleaning up, she will only do things that she has given the order to happen and refuses to do things I ask her to do. Did I tell you it took me 6 months to get her to walk to the playground and home without running into the street back when she was 2. Now she walks with me without running off and is such a delight. I can even let her walk around stores etc. She even willingly holds my hand in the street. But, those six months were hell. Now I am thinking I need to teach her how to follow directions. Be a hard ass about listening and maybe that will help her in gymnastics and eventually later at school. Not looking forward to this fight. All this to say I have an ulterior motive for keeping her in a structured class like gymnastics.

Lily is very sweet. She doesn't act out. She doesn't break things, or get into things she shouldn't. She just doesn't like to be told what to do. For the most part we have a routine and she knows what to do and how to do it without being told. Therefore, we can make it through the day without any conflict. If I don't cross her our day is actually lovely and she is the most well behaved and sweetest child you have ever seen. She even says, "May I have a cookie, please". So sweet. And she laughs and plays and dances and is so sweet and fun. But, I have to teach her how to listen and follow directions. I am imagining that my sweet little Miss Lily will not be coming out to play for another six months. Sometimes being a mom is no fun at all. It is so much easier just to not cross her, but I am the mom and she is the child. So cross her I must.

I am going to wait until my parents have gone back home before I unleash the follow directions and listen to me school of Marsha.

Any how to teach a stubborn child how to listening and following directions advice?

Bugs

Last night we had a bug the size of a rat in our kitchen.

I screamed, "Jeff".

He was sitting with his feet propped up watching basketball. Instead of hearing the terror in my voice and coming running, his reply was, "what".

When I finally convinced him to come and kill the bug, he asked me where the paper towels are. I told him he was on his own and left the vicinity.

My dog and cat were neither one of them any help at all in this escapade. Which is so funny because this morning I am sitting outside on my back patio, enjoying the sounds of birds chirping. The dog is chasing away any bird who comes into our yard. She is acting like she is king of the hill.

My Gilded Cage

Little Lily likes to dress herself. If I dress her she has a meltdown of vast proportions. While there are many things in our day that I have had to stand up to Lily about, that she had horrendous screaming fits about, and I had to stand my ground, dressing herself is not one of those things. However, she knows that I know that if I help her she will have an enormous fit. Therefore she revels in the power she believes she holds in her tiny little hands when she is dressing herself. She will chat with me. She will sing songs, or whatever. She will take her time, while I sit next to her. She gets that little smile on her face, like, I have all the power, hee--hee-hee.

Even if we are getting dressed to go to the playground or the cookie store, Lily will take her time. I will remind her that we are off on a grand adventure and she will still take her time. Because she can. I imagine if I was in a hurry we wouldn’t have this moment. This moment that comes about everyday that gives Lily her power trip and seems to settle her in regards to fits and being contrary. It is also a moment of many laughs. This is the reason I like to be a stay at home mom. I feel our home is running smoothly at an unhurried pace. That everyone is getting the moments that they need.

On the other hand, everyday is a struggle for me as a stay at home mom. I have a lot of trouble pulling myself up out of the murky depth of one day after another. It is a vast gulf of repetition everyday. Endless dishes, laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing, cooking, more dishes. There are days, weeks even that I don’t have the will power to pick myself up and do all that crap one more day. I have to struggle against the lethargy of sitting on the couch and watching TV or reading blogs. If I am really good. If I make us a schedule and get outside, do crafts, keep the house clean, cook fabulous dinners; if I do my job with the vigor of a thousand women, life is exactly the same as if I spend the day watching soaps and eating cookies. I feel like the concept of accomplishment is abstract and hard to wrap my mind around. For me being a stay at home mom is hard.

For me the decision to stay home was not one made with absolute certainty, it was the lesser of two evils. In a way I am marking time until I get my degree, until Lily is in school, until Jeff retires from the military, until Mandy graduates from high school. Then I will be a working mom. Then the circumstances will finally be aligned in such a way that working will be the decision which will make a bit more sense. I imagine I will miss sitting on the floor and discussing the meaning of life with a three year old, while I patiently wait for her to put on her clothes so we can actually leave the house, my gilded cage.

The Shed

When I was a child my Grandmother used to take our entire family out to dinner on my birthday every year. I got to pick the type of food and she would pick the restaurant. Every year I picked BBQ ribs. When I was 12 we moved away from the Seattle area to the Sacramento area and I was no longer able to go out to dinner with Grandma for my birthday. From then until now I can count on one hand the number of times I have had BBQ ribs. I don't know why, just how it worked out I suppose.

Last night we went to a great BBQ place called THE SHED (check out this website there are even fun games). I had the ribs. Jeff had a combo plate with beef, chicken, and sausages. Everything was so good I cannot tell you. Mississippi knows how to do BBQ. This particular restaurant was so much fun, had so much ambiance etc. It was such a blast. They have been featured on the food network, won all kinds of awards. I think it has been voted best BBQ in America. I happen to agree. They have a live band every Saturday, we are hoping to go back soon.

A place always starts to feel more like home when we have favorite places. I know have a favorite Mexican restaurant, Sports Bar, Korean, and now BBQ. More like home everyday.

I didn't see a single thing on the menu that Lily could have. I am thinking that my next quest is to find a way to make homemade ribs, Lily friendly slow cooked BBQ ribs. Any advice? And if you are ever in the area, I'll be sure to take you to THE SHED! The had a sign saying that they are hiring, I am going to try to talk Mandy into applying for a job there, it looked like a place that would be a ton of fun to work at!

Recipe for Miso Soup

THIS RECIPE IS NOT GLUTEN-FREE - MISO IS MADE FROM BARLEY

The following ingredients can be bought at Amazon.com if you cannot find them at your local Asian Market. I included a link to the Wikipedia explanation of the ingredients and a picture.

Miso soup is the combination of Dashi (a broth) and Miso paste. Most Japanese today even in restaurants do not make homemade dashi from scratch. You can buy instant dashi granules, combine with water to make a broth (1 tsp hon dashi combined with one cup of boiling water) and add in the miso paste (in the process detailed below) and have semi-homemade miso soup. This way you can also adjust the dashi granules and miso paste until you find the combination you like best. Instant dashi has all the salt and msg already added that make the soup so good.

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Homemade Dashi
4 1/2 cups water
One 4-inch (10cm) square Konbu
1 TBS (.5 oz) Katsuobushi (bonito flakes)

Use a clean, damp cloth to wipe off white film on surface of kombu. In a sauce pan, combine water and kombu. Let soak for up to 2 hours, the place over high heat and bring to a simmer.

When stock begins to bubble slightly, after about 5 minutes, check center of kombu. If it is soft, remove kombu from saucepan and set aside. If it is hard, continue cooking for a few more minutes, then remove.

Let mixture come to a boil, then stir. Sim off any bubbles or scum on the surface.

Remove from heat and add a small amount of cold water to lower temperature before adding bonito flakes. (Boiling water makes them smell.)

Add bonito flakes to saucepan. Do not stir. Use chopsticks to press the flakes down gently to bottom of saucepan. Let rest for 3 minutes.

Lay a cheesecloth or clean napkin over a colander and strain mixture into a large bowl to remove bonito flakes. Remove the drained bonito flakes and reserve.

If, after tasting the finished dashi, you wish to strengthen its flavor, return mixture to saucepan and simmer for another 5 minutes.

Makes 4 1/2 cups number one dashi.

Traditionally you are supposed to take your used konbu and used bonito flakes and redo the entire process a second time to make number two dashi, a slightly diluted version of dashi is best for miso soup. Another tip is to use the number one dashi and a little less miso.

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Miso soup
4 cups Dashi
2 TBS (2 oz) miso paste

Bring dashi to a boil in a saucepan over medium heat.

Put miso paste into a strainer. Hold or place stainer over boiling dashi.

With back of a wooden spoon that fits well in strainer, rub miso so that you sieve it through strainer into boiling stock. Discard any grainy remainders in strainer.

Stir soup as it simmers gently. Check for taste. Remove from heat and serve.

Miso should be made to taste adding more bonito flakes or instant dashi granules to the stock will create a stronger flavor. Add almost any vegetable, meat or seafood to the soup, but be sparing with strongly flavored or particularly aromatic ingredients. The following are ideal: diced shallots, diced tofu, wakame seaweed, daikon radish, corn, scallops, clams, fish, finely sliced shiitake mushrooms, enoki mushrooms, okra, pork, bamboo shoots and asparagus. (not all together - pick and choose what you like.

If ingredients need cooking, cook them separately and then add to finished soup. Ingredients such as tofu, enoki mushrooms, shallots and seaweed do not need cooking; just place them in the serving bowls, pour the hot soup over and serve.

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Other interesting things I learned. Many people use Konbu that has already been used to make dashi a couple of times and stick it in the pot while making japanese sticky rice, for added flavor. If you are vegetarian, you can skip the bonito flakes and just add double konbu to make dashi broth. Dashi broth is used in thousands of Japanese recipes, the broth of Japan. If a recipe ever taste good but just not exactly right consider adding some dashi. (and msg, which makes everything better-did I tell you I bought a one pound bag of the white stuff).

I love, love, love miso soup. I have never made it but now that I did all this research I am excited to drive back to the Saigon Oriental Market and buy all these ingredients and do some trial and error. Not sure how to make it gluten-free.

this week

Remember last week when I wrote a blog entry about romance. About how I no longer keep track of who does what in my marriage. No longer is there a running tally of who has been nice and who has been selfish. Remember all that?

Today, I am terribly mad at my husband. And today I can remember ever single selfish thing that man has ever done. And today that list feels pretty damn long. Men! Today I am not terribly happy that we only go out to see war movies. While last week it was sweet this week it is annoying me.