Vacation

It was fun to spend time together as a family. I have noticed that when we travel we talk and interact so much. At home, we tend to drift off into our separate spaces. Force us into a vehicle together and we laugh and fight together. I really like my family, we all have so much energy, it is an amazing uplifting thing to spend time together. However, I have to really force it.



This week has been an at home vacation for us. Jeff went into work every morning but was home by 10. We bundled up the girls and went on some local adventures. The mall playground and video arcade, the bowling alley, the children's science museum.

It takes so much work to convince them all to be ready at the same time and to agree to do something together. It was worth all the forcing, in the end we had a great week. I got so many wonderful presents, so did Jeff and the girls, but it was the fun we had together that really made this Christmas special for me.



Next month, Jeff and Mandy are going down to Toyko for a couple of days to see a Sumo wrestling match. Jeff is going snow shoeing. Hopefully Mandy and I can get another ski trip in before we leave. Our departure date is scheduled for late March and I am hoping we will be here to see the Cherry Blossoms one last time. We will see, sometimes spring comes late here, but sometimes we see blossoms at the end of March.

I have to get back to homework and housework. Tonight is New Year's Eve here. We are having a family game night and watching the naked Japanese guy on the TV. Every year we watch him. We have no idea what is said, but a guy strips down to a loin cloth and dumps water on himself and does death defying stunts involving fire. There is always a bunch of Japanese people there watching and laughing. That is all I know. Our Japanese friend says that this year he might not be allowed to do his thing, because some people have complained that it is dangerous. I guess we will see if he get permission to do his crazy new year's stunt again this year. If he does I will try to take some video of it to share with you.

In Japan New Year's Eve is one of their most important holidays of the year. Many people go to the Budist temple at midnight for the ringing of the bells. The bells are run one time for every bone in a person's body and this is done to purify one of the sins of the past year. I have never been to the temple for new year's eve, I wish I had been able to go. Jeff and I feel it is important to be together as a family for new years. It would feel weird to leave Mandy and Lily and go out on our own, so we all stay together and enjoy the holiday with games. This year we got the Amazing Race DVD game, it is fun, Mandy beat us all the first time. I am hoping to talk the family into RISK, my all time favorite game. They don't like it, because I always end up ruling the world!

Happy New Year.

New Camera

I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas. Here is a video of Lily singing the ABC's made with my brand new digital camera! We had a very Merry Christmas here in Japan. I am looking forward to an amazing New Year. This week we have plans for lots of family adventures, and now I can give you pics and videos of Japan.

White Christmas

This is our last chance for a white Christmas for awhile. Here's hoping.

Most years we miss our families so much on Christmas that we try to find other lonely people and have a big family type Christmas with friends. We go to a lot of trouble to turn virtual strangers into family. This being our last Christmas abroad, and all of us being busy with school, and a bit intimidated by the move, we are having a quiet Christmas.

We did the work party. Other than that we are keeping it simple. Jeff and Mandy are both off the week of Christmas. We have decided that on Christmas day we will open presents, and then have a nice breakfast, and then just hang out the rest of the day. Watch TV, take naps, take turns playing with Lily, play with our presents, and then have a nice dinner. Just us. It always bothers me to be all on our own at Christmas, but this year it is like saying goodbye to an old friend, the family-free Christmas.

During the rest of the week we have decided to be on vacation at home. Very casual and leisurely however, we are going to try to do one small family event per day. Bowling, swimming, ice skating, arcade, jumpy castle - I have tons of ideas hopefully we can come to a consensus, or whatever I will force all this family fun on them.

I still have a ton of wrapping to do, batteries to buy, stocking stuffers too. But, for the most part we are ready. Except for the banana pudding, must get vanilla wafers. Merry Christmas.

Now tell me all about your plans.

Orders

We actually got our orders to go to Mississippi. There have been scads of rumors and such that all PCS's have been canceled due to a lack of funds, however, we are moving and that is that.

Having orders this early is a luxury. It gives us the opportunity to plan a smooth move. It takes quite a little bit of time for our belonging to be shipped from Misawa, Japan to the gulf coast of Mississippi. We have decided that we will ship the stuff early hoping it will be there and waiting for us when we arrive. We also have a car that has been in storage somewhere in America, a car we bought in Italy, we need to arrange to have it shipped to Mississippi and since it has been in storage for four years, we are thinking it will need a super-tune-up. It would be nice to have most of this arranged and taken care of so when we get off the plane, we have a house, a car, and all our stuff.

I am thinking this will help the girls, if the is less of a transitory time period. This decision means that the last couple of months here in Japan we will be without most of our stuff. We do get a second shipment, but this second shipment is of limited space, where we can ship the computer, some dishes, some sheets and blankets. And then we can also mail some things, and the rest we must carry ourselves. From Italy to Japan we carried a lot. As much as was legally permitted, two large suitcases, two large carry-ons, per person, and the cat. Now we have little little which means even more suitcases allowed. But, I have learned my lesson, less is more. I believe what I will be carrying is a toothbrush and a change of underwear. Plus, now we have a dog and a cat.

There used to be a plane that came here to the base and took us to America, due to budget cuts the plane no longer stops in Misawa. This means that we have to drag the kids, the animals, and all of that which we decided to carry with us from Misawa to Tokyo. The problem is that the airplane takes you from here to a domestic airport which is on the other side of Tokyo (1 1/2 hours drive) from the international airport. They do not allow animals on the shuttle bus between airports. There is a train one can take from Misawa and with three switched arrive at the international airport (Narita) however, they do not allow animals on the trains and there are many stairs. This is how we traveled one time on our trip to Alaska, it was hard with a lot of stuff. There isn't really any place to put your stuff on the train, and hey they don't allow pets. So what do we do?

It will be interesting to see how we get our pets to America. Most people are leaving messages on the bulletin boards around base, free pet to good home. We made the decision to keep our pets and to endure all the hell this decision will inure. I do think however, this will definitely mean that we wont be taking lots of suitcases with us on our move. We will arrive in Mississippi with the shirts on our backs and our two kids, our two pets and a smile.

What Ya Doing, Honey?

Lily's latest question. She comes up to me and asks, What ya doing, Honey? Or, What's wrong, Honey? She sounds exactly like me. It is so fun to watch her mimic me or Jeff.

Yesterday I was trying to get her to tell me her name, her whole name first and last, and my name and her dad's name etc. She didn't seem to be understanding the concept. I kept telling her our names and she would say her name is Lily, and that was it. She then asked me if she could watch Blue's Clues. So, I told her she could watch it as soon as she could tell me her name, my name and her dad's name. She rattled them off, followed by sister's full name, dog's full name, cat's full name and then she proceeded to get me the movie she wanted to watch.

That is the thing with Lily I can never tell if she is being defiant, bored, or just doesn't get it.

We have been playing hide and seek. At first she insisted on always being the counter, while I was always the hider. Finally, I convinced her we should take turns. So we take turns. However, on Lily's turn she always hides right next to where I am counting. As soon as I am done counting she jumps up, "You found me". My turn to count.

See my predicament, is she being slightly defiant (because she doesn't like hiding), is hiding boring, or does she just not get the concept? Yesterday, I told her to hide somewhere else, she did, and continued to hide in that new location, just around the corner, each turn for the rest of the game. She is a nut. I run the other way and pretend I cannot find her. I go to all the hiding locations I can think of. She chases me around, but I try to run fast enough that she cannot be found. And our dog always tells her where I am, is that fair?

This is what I have been up to, nothing very exciting. This and homework & housework. Life is pretty good, even though the snows, they have begun.

Bookwormsrus: The book club

Our book club is just finishing up the book, The gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson. One of the themes in the book is date rape, by a high school football hero or "god". After reading the book, which I loved by the way, I got to thinking that I probably need to discuss this topic with my 15 year old daughter. But, what do I say? What are the rules for dating or hanging out with popular boys? Avoid at all costs because they can do what ever they want, including rape, and you have no recourse, because they are "gods"? It is best to never be in a situation where you are alone with a boy, because this is considered to be consent to anything he wants, because he is popular and people will just assume that you said yes? I doubt she would even listen to that advice. So what do I say? Any thoughts?

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.



2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!



3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.



4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.



5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.



6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.



7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.



8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?



9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.



10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

-author unknown, came to me via an email.

moving

Thanks for all the great advice. You have given me a lot to think about. I am surprised by how many of you said not to worry about the flooding. I am totally creeped out by the thought of living in a house that had been underwater, all that yucky toxic waste floodwater coursing through the walls and in the soil of the yard that my child plays in or that I grow veggies in. Disgusting. The more I think about it the more important it seems to me that I don't live in a house that was under water during Katrina or during any other hurricane. My understanding is they get a lot of bad storms in the fall.

Our plan is to buy, there are a lot of great reasons not to buy, and buying may not be the wisest thing we have ever done, still we are determined. Unless we absolutely cannot find a livable house, we plan to buy. There is great brand new base housing, because it was all completely leveled by the hurricane. There are a lot of really great houses to rent. Still we are going to buy. Hopefully it will turn out to be an good investment and help us save for our future home in Roanoke. But, even if it turns out to not be a moneymaker, at least we will be able to live in our own home, paint the walls, rip out the carpet, etc. With all of our animals and kids we want to be able to get off the plane and drive to our house. That is the goal. Hopefully we can make it come true. If not we have other options, so it isn't life and death. Still we are going to try to realize our dream.

My parents totally agree with y'all about renting for awhile. So everyone can tell us a great big I told you so when we end up making a poor decision. But, remember I have animals and kids who are not easy on rental properties. Plus, the lovely military moves all of our belongings, one time - If I decide to move say from a rental to a house in a year we would have to pay for that move ourselves. Who is to say the perfect house wont come up for sale while I am looking and we will find it and it will be ready right when we need it? It is possible. So we are going to try to do everything in our power to make it happen. If not, we will live on base or something.

About the traffic, many of the bridges and major highways were destroyed by Katrina so the traffic is bad right now. This is the reason that living on the outskirts of town is such a long commute. With everyone on the same road at the same time it is a cluster. Maybe someday the roads and bridges will get repaired and living in the country will be less of a commute.

I still think y'all are crazy to say not to worry about flooding, I don't think I could live in a house that was soaked in 10 feet of sludge, no matter how much bleach was used to clean it. Yucky! And what about my veggie garden? I was hoping to save some money by growing veggies as that is pretty much all Lily eats, we pay a fortune in potatoes, carrots, onions, celery, bell peppers. I was hoping to grow all that.

stresses

Slowly but surely I am trying to catch up in school. I have gotten so far behind. It is very stressful. I don't do stress well.

Searching for a house is turning out to be very difficult. There are literally hundreds for sale in the general area in our price range, it should be easy. However, it sucks. After seeing what happened during Hurricane Katrina, it seems obvious that we should buy a home as far inland as possible. Right? Nothing that was flooded during that hurricane or any other. Right? There is a slight problem, all the houses that we want to buy are close to the ocean. We want Mandy and Lily to go to a good school, those schools are for the people living in houses practically on the beach. Plus, there is the commute thing. Do we want Jeff to have an hour commute? He already works ungodly hours here with a 10 minute commute. Add an extra 2 hours per day to him being gone.

Mostly I just feel so frustrated. We did find this lovely house, well it was lovely on the Internet. Big, beautiful, good schools, good commute, never flooded, however - one of Jeff's co-workers took a look and said the area was icky and run down. Part of me thinks, who cares if the neighbors mow their lawns or if the neighborhood is rundown and the house is old, who cares. Good schools, good commute, no flood. I guess now I have to add to the list neighbors who mow? Is that an important indication of their good neighborliness? Do your neighbors mow? Does your neighborhood ever look rough?

I better get my nose back in the books.

PS Lily is so potty trained! She came and got me while she was playing at an indoor play area, way up in the slide, she came and got me and told me to take her to the potty. Where she actually pooped, in a public restroom. So proud. Maybe someday I will let her out of the crib. Not!

Hu's on First

Borrowing Trouble

Do you borrow trouble?

I have noticed lately that I get very upset over other people's troubles. When I see a child missing I am as upset as if it were mine. Even fictional characters and their fictional troubles can cause me to become overwrought with panic and basic upsetidness. Today is made up word day, didn't you know?

While I do believe that my ability to empathies is one of my best qualities, I also believe that it is not doing me any good to borrow the troubles of others. I am in the process of trying to learn how to separate your problems from my problems. Just saying that makes me feel bad, like I am being selfish not feeling badly enough for you and your problems.

Seems I have a bit of work left to do. I have no idea what the reason for this crazy borrowing trouble comes from. A) I suppose it could be that I am familiar with this feeling of panic and while I don't have it in my daily life anymore, there is a sense of home in that feeling and I am drawn to it. or B) My self esteem is so bad I feel like I don't deserve to be happy if someone else is not.

I don't think it matters the why? Just the knowledge that it is not a good idea and trying to let it go. This is my pre-new years resolution to try to only get upset over actual real life problems that effect me and to learn how to empathies without taking on the sorrows of others.

Home

Approx. 115 days until we leave. That is just over 16 weeks. Leaving me ample time to stress, so why am I stressing so much right now? I need to focus on my two new classes. We are on week 5 and I haven't really sunk my teeth in yet. I am falling farther and farther behind. Every time I try to concentrate my mind wanders to all the things I have to do for the move and for Christmas etc.

I got my scores for the two classes I just completed. In the Internet: A practical guide class which is basically an introduction to html I got 99.8 as my final score, pretty good. For my other class, Java programming II, I got an A. The teacher only graded 3 out of the 5 programs I completed for the class, I got 100, 95, and 100 on those assignments and a 95 on the final. However, I am upset that two of my programs he never bothered to even grade. I did get an A in the course, but that isn't the point, I would have appreciated some feedback on my work. Am I on the right track? Is there a different way of approaching the subject? It is all very frustrating.

Lily seems to be coming down with a cold. She is fussy and has a bit of a stuffy nose. I am going to buckle down and get some homework done today during Lily's nap. Try to quit dreaming of the lovely house I want to buy. I have been doing so much research, I found a fema map showing which homes were flooded by Katrina. I found several good school comparison websites. When I find a house we can afford in an area of a good school, I check to see if that house was flooded and then bookmark the house. So far out of about 2000 houses I have found 10 that meet my criteria. But, one of those houses is my dream! It is so perfect! But it is so long before I move and with there being so few homes for sale that were not flooded by Katrina I am afraid it will be scooped up. No sense getting my hopes up, whatever will happen will happen. I just cannot wrap my mind around the fact that we are going to be home owners. Back to homework!

Ugly Christmas Lights

I found a link to this site over at Busy Mom.

www.uglychristmaslights.com

It is very funny!

Reading

I had to take a standardized test for my college last week. I haven't taken one of those in quite some time. Instead of being the parent reading the scores of my child, here I was taking the test and having my intelligence judged, it was an eye opening experience for me. I haven't gotten the scores yet, so I cannot qualify this post by telling you exactly how smart this test has determined that I am or am not.

I noticed as I took this test that it was terribly boring. It was very difficult to focus in on the content because it was not at all interesting. The wording was not the type of wording that one can skim, it was complex sentence after complex sentence. While I can normally read, blogs, news, books, college text books at a pretty good pace and come away from the experience remembering most of what I have read, I had a very difficult time doing it on the test. I could feel the strain on my brain, a physical sensation of a strain on my actual brain, I did it and got threw it, but the effort was more difficult than the actual work. Basically the questions were easy but the sitting threw the test and reading the material was excruciatingly hard. Kind of like reading this post.

My point is learning to read and being a good reader is something that is hard to qualify with a test. This test I took was more a measure of my ability to have self discipline than my ability to read. I notice this with my girls as well. Mandy reads volumes of books every week. I estimate that she reads about 2000 pages per week in the form of several short books or a couple long books. When I take the time to read on of her books and we discuss, I find that she remembers every detail, even a year later. She is also quite good at inferring the overall meaning of the text, why the author said this or that and what the character would do in another situation. However, Mandy on performs average on those standardized tests. Sometimes less than average. I think it is an attention thing, and not a comprehension or ability thing.

The same is true with math. I have been tutoring on and off in math for more than 20 years. I have always been extremely successful at helping people. These people always come to me saying that they are horrible at math and they just can't do it, and by the time I get through with them, they get an A in their class. What is the secret? The secret is that different people learn in different ways, they understand the information and come to their conclusions in unique ways. Tutoring is more about listening than about talking. Listening to how they interpret the information and getting into their language and their system and pointing out a step here and there to help them connect the dots. Some people have a natural ability and for some people it takes some mental strain to connect the dots but most people can do math, even you.

I think the same can be said about reading. There is an element of intelligence, and element of the methods of teaching, and an element of is the material interesting. Basically what I am saying is that it is easier to learn to read when you care how the book turns out, than it is when you are repeating sounds on flash cards, or some other monotonously boring learning to read technique. Instead of presenting information that is at the reading level of the kid, I think kids do better when they are presented with reading material that is at their intelligence level. Mandy didn't learn to read no matter how hard I tried and how much we practiced until she was 8 and we read Harry Potter. We went from Courdory to Harry Potter. While she couldn't read Courdory she was quite able to read Harry Potter. Once she got up her confidence she was able to read anything. But, to this day she struggles with the ability to read things she finds boring like a standardized test.

Reading things that are boring and uninteresting is an important skill to have to be successful in life. School does an excellent job of teaching kids that self discipline that is necessary for this skill. Moms do a good job of helping kids get over the hump when they are having trouble with learning at school. So many people are arguing the merits of home schooling vs public schools. For me I think there has to be a combination of both. I am great at catering to my girls and finding ways of making the material interesting and explaining things in a way they understand. I know them better than anyone and I learn in very similar ways to each of them. However, I have not been successful all by myself in teaching them how to adapt themselves to the environment and read and succeed in ways that are hard. Life has a lot of layers, solutions are a little of this and a little of that.

Christmas Meme

I stole this from Capello

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
We do both. Jeff loves the egg nog, I make hot coccoa from scratch so Lily can enjoy it with us. Her corn allergy keeps her from enjoying the pre-made stuff.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa does not wrap the presents he leaves at our house.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
We have a white Christmas fake tree. Jeff went out and bought a fake tree the first year we were married. Mandy and I are allergic to the real ones. He came home with the cheapest tree the store sold. The picture on the front of the box showed a great big green Christmas tree. However, upon opening the box we found a 4 foot white Christmas tree. Jeff loves this tree, which we still use six years later. He believes it is our family tradition and therefore we cannot buy a green one.

All this to say that we have always had a green strand of colored lights on this all white tree, very tacky! This year I found a strand of white lights with a white cord. With some gold garland and lots of colorful ornaments I think the tree looks good for the first time. However, I prefer colored lights, maybe someday I will find a strand of colored lights with a white cord? But, for now, white lights.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No. But, I do kiss everyone a lot.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Ours went up this year on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It is different every year depending on what is going on in our lives.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Ham and sweet potatoes.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
Every Christmas was wonderful in my childhood memories, it is hard to find a single one.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I don't remember. For the most part I still believe in Santa.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
We open one present on Christmas eve. We try to put out the presents early. And we all have weeks and weeks to shake the presents and try to determine which present we will be opening on Christmas eve. We try to fool each other by wrapping small things in big boxes, or burrying the cool presents way in the back underneath the socks which are wrapped in an enormous box. But, Santa always brings the best presents.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
I collect ornaments from our adventures and from the girls school projects.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Dread it! The rest of the family loves it, I have been living in Misawa way too long to get excited about snow!

12. Can you ice skate?
Barely. Mandy and I used to ice skate when we lived in Fort Wayne, we would desperately hang on to one another and wobble around the ring. Does that count?

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Merlin. It was this computer game, it looked like a red phone. It had 9 games, like tick tack toe, and memory, etc. Hours of fun.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
The girls, giving them good memories.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Banana pudding.

17. What tops your tree?
A Santa Claus we bought in Italy, very European.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
Giving.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song (s)?
Jingle Bells.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Yuck.