So, No Way

Lily has been picking up some fun new words. Yesterday, it seems every sentence began with the word so...

So...Mommy, do you want to go to the playground?
So...Mommy, I'm thirsty.

It was extremely funny. When I take the time to read what I have written on my blog before I hit the publish button, I have to take out about ten instances of the word so.

She also picked up the phrase NO WAY! Instead of saying no, she now says NO WAY.

We had a great Halloween, lots of fun. We had a block party-pot luck dinner, followed by trick or treating. Lily lasted about 20 minutes, just around our street. We then went in the house and I traded her trick or treat candy for some homemade candy that was OK for her to eat. My friend went to all the trouble of making it for Lily from scratch.

Lily is not used to having sugar. She had two pieces of candy and went bonkers. We went outside with Dad to hand out the candy, Lily ran around like the Energizer Bunny. It looked like she was drunk. Her speech was incredibly loud and fast, every sentence beginning with the obligatory so...

I need to find a candy donation site to get rid of all the chocolate in my house before my head explodes.

While news of our next assignment could come any day now, the final deadline is in two weeks.

SO... two weeks is the longest I will have to wait to find out where I will be living five months from now.

I have become addicted to real estate websites, dreaming the dream of someday owning a home.

Happy Halloween!

New Book

This week has been completely frustrating for me. It felt like I was having a run of bad luck or bad Karma. Nothing serious, just everything seemed to have the anti-midas touch. Very frustrating, it is hard to find something nice to say when all I want to do is complain.

On Saturday, I had to stop by the library to make some copies and I noticed that after months of waiting they finally had Janet Evanovich's latest book on the shelf. I have been checking there daily for months because I am too cheap to shell out $30. I guess everyone else in Misawa had the same idea because the book has been checked out consecutively for months. I was so excited! Except when I went to check out the book, they told me I had overdue books and couldn't check it out until the overdues were returned. Damn.

Everytime I go to the library there are overdue books. One time they were mistaken, but usually it is Mandy. That child cannot seem to return library books. She checks them out 20 at a time, she reads 3 or 4 per week. It is so frustrating when I go there with Lily and we cannot check something out. Everytime I go to the counter they tell me know. It is embarassing.

It was an hour until the library closed, I called Mandy on the phone from the library and told her which book was overdue. I told her I was coming home and I wanted her to have the book ready for me when I arrived. I get home, she gives me the book, and she goes with me back to the libarary. We got there at 30 minutes until closing, we return the book, it is the wrong book. No book for me. So frustrating. Someone lost her library privelges and hates me. She had at least a dozen warnings. Life is hard.

The next day, I returned all of Mandy's library books, all of Jeff's library books and was able to check out my book. I read it straight through, cover to cover. I stayed up until 1 AM. Lily got me up at 5:30. She always sleeps until 6, what is her problem.

I read the first page of the book, it was like sinking into a warm bath on a cold winter's day. Lovely, engulfing peace and tranquility, an old friend. I love those books by Janet Evanovich, this one was Twelve Sharp, the 12th in a series. I laughed and laughed these books are so fabulous. I think my bought with bad Karma is over and I am back on the right path.

This week, I have two class, next week I start two more classes and will be trying to get through 4 classes all at once. All are computer classes and I really should be doing homework, so much homework so little time. If you don't hear from me for a month or so, don't worry I am just going crazy! Check out Fussy.org and see all the bloggers participating in a Novemeber writing challenge, NABLOPOMO, you should sign up too!

Thursday Thirteen #4: Travel Tips

I have often been told by friends and family that they would love to travel as much as we do, but it is so hard and they therefore do not.  Traveling isn’t really easy for me either, but I have learned a few lessons that make it a bit easier.  Here is a list of things I have learned the hard way. 

 

1. I used to bring a liter of water for each member of the family on every trip, carry it along with us and guzzle it down.  I was very worried about becoming dehydrated.  I used to have to pee every 15 minutes and spend the entire trip painfully holding it or pursuing all the creepy bathrooms around the world.  Now I hydrate a couple of days before the trip and for a couple of days after the trip, only drinking moderately while traveling.  I never carry water anymore and I rarely pee in strange places.
2. I used to bring snacks on trips.  Granola bars, nuts, trail mix, dried fruit would all be put in my bag with the 4 liters of water.  Heavy bag!  I always used to have a tummy ache while traveling.  I never could figure out why my belly always hurt on trips but never at any other time?  It was all the snacks, they are all gas producing snacks, which don’t mix well with hours of sitting on planes, trains and automobiles.  Snacks are no longer brought on trips.
3. I used to splurge on trips.  I would think to myself, that I am on vacation I should treat myself.  I would eat and drink with gusto, and feel icky.  Now I eat well at home, treat myself at home or near home.  On trips I eat sparingly.  I think of trips as fun time and eat to feel good physically.  While traveling I don’t really burn any calories and everything that I put in my mouth just sits in my belly and hurts, so I only eat two or three bites and I feel much better.  Surprising but true.  Even at hotels I only eat a little bit of plain boring normal food and I don’t get run down or belly aches.
4. I used to wear sweats or jeans on trips, dress comfortably.  Now I dress up, I am conscious of wearing something comfortable but I make sure it looks professional.  The quality of how people treat you on a trip is very influential on the quality of your experience.  People treat you better when you look professional.  I always wear a button down shirt, loafers and slacks.  I fix my hair and even wear makeup.  It really does make a huge difference in the quality of interaction with all the people, both other travelers and professionals.
5. I used to keep to myself.  I used to quietly stare off into space and not interact with anyone in the crowded airports and train stations.  Now I make eye contact and small talk with everyone.  It not only influences how they treat me, but it makes me feel better to have acquaintances.  It may be all in my head but smiling and saying hello to the people in line or the lady behind the counter really makes a huge difference in the quality of my trip.
6. I used to bring way too much crap.  This is a hard one especially with kids, you don’t want to be caught somewhere and need something and not have it.  But, really carrying a ton of crap you don’t need is worse.  I have really scaled down in what I bring.  One toothbrush, one extra pair of underwear and that is it.  Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be great?  If you really need it you can buy it, but really you don’t need it!
7. I used to bring a bag just for Lily, full of snacks and toys, and books, and her favorite blanket, her favorite stuffed animal, etc.  This never worked.  She would throw each item on the floor and scream louder and louder.  All the crap just got in the way and never helped her to feel better in the least.  So now I bring one coloring book and a couple of crayons.  
8. I practice traveling type circumstances for a couple of months before the trip.  I take her out to lunch, force her to take naps in her car seat while I drive around.  I take her to crowded food court type places and have picnics.  I make her take a nap in the bed with me, all kinds of things that we can introduce at home a little at a time to make the trip a little less difficult for her.
9. I make sure to let Lily run a lot when we have the chance.  We have one person stand in line while the other person chases Lily around the line or nearby.  We let her fun up and down the long crowded terminals.  We skip and hop and dance and basically act like idiots, but she does so much better when she is physically exhausted.  I cannot tell you how many laps I have run around airport terminals, but we take turns on Lily duty and it seems to work.
10. I used to want to sit at the front of the plane, to get off first.  Now I try to get tickets at the back.  With a little one the back is awesome.  There is usually a little bit of standing room in the back of the plane, for a screaming little one it is nice to have a place to stand up and rock them, a place that is out of the way.  We spent the entire flight from Japan to America and then back from America to Japan taking turns standing up and rocking Lily.  She just wouldn’t sit in her seat, she wouldn’t sleep, it was nice to have that place to stand.  There was a kitchen back there and the flight attendants were very nice about letting us pace around in a circle rocking Lily.
11. I used to just show up places and see what was there and see what I felt like doing at the time.  I discovered that doing research makes a world of difference.  Instead of buying a map when I get there, I buy the map ahead of time.  I pour over the map and memorize the how to get where I want to go.  Weather it is walking, or driving I know the way before I get there.  I know the land marks, I have the path highlighted on the map and the map in my bag.  So much stress, so many arguments have occurred because we were trying to figure out where we were going while driving down the road or while wandering around the streets.  We even would show up in a city in Italy, buy the map when we got off the train and spend the day not knowing where we were or what we were looking at.  Now I know what I am doing, where I am going and what I am looking at.  The rest of the family they don’t care but having one person lead the way makes it smooth, so do the prep work it really pays off.
12. I used to carry a backpack and not a purse.  Now I carry a small purse so that the essentials are easy to access.  Like tickets, a pen, id, money, toothbrush, the map, phone numbers.  It is very important to have easy access to these items, throwing them in the backpack and digging around for everything all the time is a recipe for disaster.  Leave the backpack at home anyways, less is more.
13. I used to have a lot of trouble sleeping on trips.  I would never be able to sleep away from home and this contributed to my feeling crappy while traveling.  Now I incorporate physical exercise everyday.  We make sure there is a gym at our hotel or nearby.  Or we will make sure we briskly walk at least three miles, everyday.  I think one of the reasons I had so much trouble sleeping is that I would spend the majority of the time sitting and exercise helps.   

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Hands Free Device

I don't know if you've heard, but starting Jan 1, 2007 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a "hands free" adapter. I went to Circuit City and they wanted $50 for a headset with a boom microphone for my cell phone. Having a friend in the cell phone business, I talked with him and was able to come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot. These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all. He paid $0.18 each because he bought in quantity. I'm selling them for only $1.00. I've tried them out on Erickson, Motorola, Sony, Nokia and Verizon phones and they worked perfectly. Take a look and let me k now if you want one, and forward this to anyone you know who may want one!

Click to see photo

Laughter is better for your health than a chocolate candy bar. Thanks from my cousin Pam!

You've been Boo'ed

Last night as I was trying to prepare dinner. Lily was screaming, Mandy had just stomped up the stairs to her room, mad at me too. Jeff was rolling his eyes at the fact that everyone was screaming, including me. The door bell rings. It took me awhile to extricate myself from the pandemonium, but I eventually got to the door. There was no one there. It was dark, but I saw a bag, sitting there. I looked around and no one was anywhere to be found. I figured the gift bearer was frightened away by the noises coming from our home.

Inside the bag was a note, saying we had been boo'ed along with presents and candy. It said it was now our turn to secretly boo someone else. Wasn't that sweet? I gave everyone some chocolate, except the allergic one, who got stickers, and then we had some dinner and it was actually peaceful. Our first dinner at the table together as a family in more than a week. Twice baked potatoes and steak. I could cry, isn't that sweet.

Lily and I spent the day today making our boo bags, we are required to boo two people tonight. I am going to let Mandy do the actual booing, I don't think Lily is good at stealth. I love Halloween, my favorite holiday.

I love how on Halloween night when I am out with the girls, so many people are out and about, smiling and laughing. It feels on that night as if everyone is a big family a cohesive neighborhood. I love sitting at the door handing out candy as well, I love to give the kids huge handfulls and have a spooky doorway.

Last year because our house is in a relatively secluded part of the base we only had a handful of trick or treaters. Lily was not interested in trick or treating, so Lily, Jeff and I played tackle football in the front yard in between the kids. They must have thought we were nuts. I was jumping on his back trying to knock him down, and trying to teach Lily how to tackle her dad, Jeff was dodging us pretty good. Ahh, Halloween!

At least half of the Americans who live on the base put up signs that they do not participate in Halloween because it offends their religious sensibilities. I have never been particularly religious but spending an evening with the neighborhood, handing out treats and saying being kind to children, is against religion, no wonder I am not religious. I am rotting up some eggs this year for them. Just kidding, still that would be fun!

Pumpkins

I bought a couple of pumpkins for us to carve several weeks ago. We have to buy them when they come to the store, because that is really the only opportunity one has to get a pumpkin in Japan. Our two little pumpkins sat on the front porch for a couple of weeks. We were waiting until closer to Halloween to actually carve them.

One morning about a week ago I noticed that there were no longer two pumpkins on the front porch only one. I was incredibly distraught that one of our pumpkins had been stolen. For the next week, every one I encountered I told the story of my poor stolen pumpkin.

Walking to the playground with Lily,
my neighbor says: good morning, how are you today?
I say: My pumpkin was stolen.

My friend calls me on the phone,
friend: Hi Marsha, how are you doing?
me: My pumpkin was stolen.

A neighbor boy comes to the door,
neighbor boy: Do you have any old newspapers I can borrow?
me: My pumpkin was stolen.

You get the idea, this was all I talked about for days. I was the biggest baby. Yesterday, I noticed that there is now two pumpkins on my porch again. I cannot tell if this is my original pumpkin or a new one. They all look alike to me. I don't know if one of my friends or neighbors felt sorry for me and bought me a replacement or if the evil pumpkin theif, was actually just borrowing my pumpkin? I wonder if I owe someone a thank you? I think I owe everyone a bit of an apology for being such a cry baby. Still, My pumpkin was stolen - right off my porch.

You have to try Pandora Internet Radio.

Thursday Thirteen #3

1. Lily does not have strep-throat. By Wednesday she was starting to feel a little restless being indoors. Jeff got the afternoon off and we decided to take Lily to get a new puzzle.



2. We went to my very favorite store in all of Japan, a lovely children's store filled with lovely Japanese children's clothes, toys, and everything one could imagine. Luckily Jeff was there to pull me away from all the beautiful things and quickly pick the first puzzle we came upon. I love the Japanese puzzles, we get the 60 piece puzzles and they are very sturdy card board instead of the easy to bend and break American puzzles which only come in 24 pieces or 500 pieces with nothing in between.



3. We then stopped at the Japanese Grocery Store:
   
   



4. Mandy was expecting to have to take the bus home after volleyball practices because Jeff has been working so much and not sharing the car. His having the afternoon off meant we could swing by the school and pick her up. By the time we arrived Lily was having fits. I went inside the gym to make sure that Mandy was actually still there and to see how much longer. They were playing a practice game and the score was 3 to 7. Games usually take at least a half an hour.



5. I suggested to Jeff that we take Lily home and come back to get Mandy. I didn't know how to convey this message to Mandy as she was in the middle of a game, so we just left. I figured that the game she was in wouldn't even be over until after I got back. So we took screaming Lily home and I went back to the gym. This took 20 minutes.



6. When I got back I couldn't find Mandy. I waited for awhile. I asked some girls to check the locker room. I asked all her friends. Finally someone told me that she took the bus.



7. I hadn't seen her at the bus stop in front of the school when I arrived, so I checked the library to see if she was waiting there, I called home to see if she had made it home, I went back to the gym and asked around some more. After about an hour, I went home. She was obviously not at the gym, she must be on her way home. I just don't know how I could have missed her.



8. The bus comes every 30 minutes and as it becomes apparent that she isn't on yet another bus, I become more and more worried. She finally comes home, two hours later.



9. I rush to the door and ask where she has been. She bursts into tears. The bus she got on, which is a later bus than the one she normally gets on because practice was running late. This bus stops running at 7 PM. So this bus took Mandy to the bus depot and kicked her off. There is a second bus that runs the same route which runs until 10 or 11PM, but the one she got on apparently stops running at 7PM. They didn't tell her when she got on or when they passed the last stop she could get off, they just took her to the bus depot and then kicked her off the bus.



10. She was in shorts and a t-shirt, soaked in sweat from practice. She was carrying two bags full of books and clothes. It was below 50 degrees and misty. It was dark. She was two miles from home. There wasn't a phone or an open business along the way. No one stopped to offer to help her along the way. She walked home. She was upset.



11. I used to walk home from school much farther everyday, rain or shine. I can remember being soaked to my underwear. I can remember how lonely it is to walk and walk all alone, realizing that no one cares enough to wonder if you need a ride.



12. I gave her lots and lots of hugs, I cried. She got over it in about three seconds. I wonder if I ever will.



13. Lily's puzzle, the stupid puzzle that caused all this crap, ended up being all light blue and white, every piece looked exactly the same. Jeff couldn't even figure the dumb thing out. Lily spent all day Thursday engrossed in this puzzle, she spent hours working on it again and again. Sometimes she would let me help but mostly she just worked and worked. This morning she put it together four or five times and then put it away on the shelf, I guess she has conquered the puzzle and is finally ready to move on, evil puzzle.

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Depression

I was sitting at my computer happily typing away at a blog post when suddenly the window disappears, it closes as if it were never there. Last week instead of closing the window started opening new windows, one after another until there were hundreds of windows opened. I couldn’t close them fast enough. Sometimes computers suck.

Last week I was pretty depressed. I don’t think I suffer from it enough to seek medical help. I don’t feel like hurting myself or others, it doesn’t last for more than a couple of weeks. Just something I have had to deal with my entire life. I know in my head how to get out of the funk. I know that I have to make a list and start accomplishing things. Clean up my environment, eat healthy food, exercise, force myself to concentrate on the things I love and set aside the things that are causing me frustration, until I am in a mental place where I can handle those things. It all sounds so easy. But, it usually takes me a few days to struggle through all the murky feelings and start to fight for a lighter mental state.

There I was deep in the murk. No shower, sink full of dirty dishes, toys scattered around the dog hair covered carpet, when the mother of one of Lily’s friend’s calls and asks to come over and play at the playground near our home. We arrange a time, several hours later, and I begin to clean-clean-clean. I spent four consecutive hours cleaning my house, it finally looked normal. This is when she calls back to cancel the playdate. An hour later Lily came down with a fever.

Somehow cleaning the house, the furry of activity caused me to snap out of it, cleaning house, scrubbing my heart out, cleaning closets, re-organizing cupboards, is usually my depression ending method of choice. Perhaps I should NOT call it depression in deference to people who have actual depression. I don’t really have another word in my arsenal to describe it so I apologize. I was grateful that the fog had lifted and I was able to handle Lily with a fresh clear head.

I don’t have access to any fever reducing medication that does not contain corn. Truthfully, I haven’t done any research or tried very hard to find any, other than checking the shelves of the local stores and reading labels. It is all so overwhelming and she doesn’t get a fever very often. I tried to reduce her fever with a cool bath and sitting in her underwear. She wouldn’t eat or drink or move for that matter. I was able to keep her fever under 100 degrees so I thought it was best not to use the evil corn syrup containing Motrin or Tylenol. At bedtime I revised my opinion and gave her the Motrin. I worry that her fever would spike over night and I thought that danger outweighed the corn danger. The fever continued into the next day and resolved itself by evening. In total she had the fever for 24 hours. I have her some more Motrin at bedtime, just in case. The next day she was feeling much better, still a little sickly in the eyes, but eating, drinking, talking, and playing. She told me her mouth hurt so I looked at her mouth and throat with the flashlight and discovered her tonsils were red swollen and covered in white dots. I called the doctor and we got her in for a throat culture. We do haven’t gotten he results yet, Jeff checked the computer (he works at the hospital) and they hadn’t run the test yet, so we will see if it is strep. I think it probably is not because she is getting better, but one never knows.

I originally started this blog to get out of a depression that was lasting way too long. I thought that forcing myself to sit down and type something positive about my life would help retrain my brain to focus on the good instead of the mind numbing bad of being a stay at home mom. I also started school for this reason and sometimes it helps. I think that the upcoming move, all the anxiety and unknown is weighing on me and I have to redouble my efforts to keep my mind out of the murk. I keep feeling myself sinking under.

Potty Training

Lily has officially passed the 3 years and 3 months mile stone without being potty trained. I won't bore you with the excruciating details of our trials. It is hard to be the mom of a little one who is behind the curve. At every milestone, Lily is always behind her peers. She didn’t sit until well after six months, she didn’t walk until fourteen months, talking didn’t begin until well into her second year. Once she makes it to the milestones, she seems to catch up rather quickly. All the little ones in her playgroup who walked and talked before Lily are all running and playing at the same level with her today. So it would seem that she is not developmentally delayed, at least in my humble mommy opinion, it seems as if she just comes about her development at a different time table than EVERY other child on the planet. Plus she is stubborn.

She has decided not to sit on the potty at all any more. She is done. (She will sometimes sit on the potty for her daddy, but he is never home and she still won't go on the potty even for daddy). I tried coercion, bribes, screaming and yelling, naked all day, inviting over her potty-trained friends for peer pressure, blah, blah, blah. I have successfully potty trained before, even spent several years potty training other people’s kids as a career. I feel that I need a t-shirt that says, “I am not an idiot”. Maybe I am an idiot. Maybe someday I will look back and laugh about what a trial Lily can be. Maybe.

Lily and I have come to an impasse about sitting on the potty/toilet so I have stopped talking about it at all. When she asks to wear her regular underwear, I say ok. When she has an accident she helps me clean it up, but I don’t mention the potty/toilet. Let’s face it she knows, she is being stubborn and I have decided to give it a bit of a rest. I am thinking a month or maybe two. During that time, I am not going to mention the potty to Lily at all. There is a potty in the living room, a potty seat on the toilet, if she wants to use it she can. She pretty much hates her pull-ups. I have decided to make her wear pull-ups when we leave the house and to bed, but otherwise I let her wear her underwear and we just clean up the messes, and messes and messes.

In order that I don’t feel guilty about taking a step back and re-grouping before I try to convince Lily to try to be potty trained again, I have decided to focus on the other aspects of potty training. Like dressing herself. Right now, Lily will change herself, all by herself. She takes off the dirty, underwear or pull-ups and cleans herself with the wippies and then she puts on the new underwear/pull-ups and pants. She does this all on her own. I help her a bit with the hand washing afterwards. I guess my thinking is that when she gets past her stubborn fit about sitting on the potty she will be able to go in and take off her own pants and go to the potty all on her own. I think that this is part of the problem, she doesn’t like me to be so involved in her private potty stuff. I am hoping that when she feels confident in her ability to dress and undress she will feel better about sitting on the potty.

The other issue is the feeling of letting go of the pee or poop while sitting on the potty this freaks her out. She would rather go into when there is something against her skin, instead of just letting it fall into the potty/toilet. The letting go bit is a trial for her. Can’t seem to get it into her head that it is ok. During the naked all day portion, that lasted three weeks, she would scream as if she saw a monster and cry ever time the potty came out and there wasn’t underwear or pull-ups on her. Now she pretty much refuses to be naked, she will go and dress herself. I would have to hide all her clothes and listen to her scream for clothing to try the naked all the time method again. I am not willing to withhold clothing from my baby.

This is where we are on the potty training. We love our Lily. She is so precious, so happy, so sweet. She just doesn’t want to use the potty or toilet and I haven’t found a way to make her. Did I tell you she can count to 50 in English, 10 in Spanish, and 10 in Japanese? I have all the hope in the world that she will catch on to the potty and be fine someday or not. We are in the very largest size in pull-ups, I guess the next step will be depends.

Thursday Thirteen # 2

1. October 4th was the 75th anniversary of the first airplane to fly non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight started here in Misawa, Japan and ended in Wenatchee, Washington, USA. Miss Veedol, the plane, is the symbol of the city of Misawa. The flight took more than 40 hours, glad the flight time has decreased a bit. This region is famous for apples, some say the apple seeds came as a gift from the pilots of the Miss Veedol.


2. For about five minutes, I was so excited to know of the two assignments available. Then I realized I still don't know where I am going. We are getting closer.



3. Lily has discovered a love of painting. She will paint for hours, this is how I am able to watch TV. I sit with her and I pretend to paint, while she paints one page after another. Everyday on our walk we check out the changing colors on the trees, later when we paint, Lily paints the trees the color of the day. The color she chooses to paint her trees is never the actual color of the trees. Yesterday's trees had pink trunks and green leaves.



4. Mandy kicked ass at volleyball last weekend, she is awesome. I can't wait to go see the games again this weekend.



5. I have been watching Weeds, it is the best show I have ever seen, very inappropriate, but extremely funny.



6. Jeff put Mississippi as his first choice and LA as second choice, we will find out by November 15th, where we will be living come March.



7. I love my computer classes, I can't decide if I want to become a Web Page developer or a Computer Forensics expert. I guess that is why you go to college to learn, the more I learn the more I love. Someday I will learn how to put my Java programs on my blog, and then you can play paper, scissors, and stone.



8. I still love Blogger Beta, so lovely. I can't get the spell checker to work, and I have to sign in every time I post a comment on anyone's blog or come to my blog, because the system doesn't seem capable of remembering me, so far that is my only complaint.



9. This week is week four of going to the gym for me, Lily and I walk up there every morning with some friends, they have a playroom it is lovely. Instead of losing weight, I have been steadily gaining weight since re-incorporating the gym back in my life. It isn't muscle, it is ice cream. Time to re-start the eating portion of the plan, yuck!



10. I have a yellow ticket in my mailbox. This means I have a package, I will pick it up today, I think it is my book, Swapping Lives by Jane Green. The book I am supposed to be reading for my book club. I think you should join our book club, there is still time.



11. My friend Angel is selling PartyLite, if you are looking for an easy gift or something nice for yourself, check out her blog. Angel is a real life friend who I have known for years and I can vouch for. You can set up a paypal account and order through her. She gives gifts and discounts too.



12. I am making my favorite for dinner tonight: rosemary, garlic, lemony roasted chicken with red potatoes. I will someday have to post a recipe. I was thinking about trying to post some gluten-free recipes but I never remember to measure. Who would want to read a recipe that goes, a little of this, a lot of that, stir and bake for a while, you know until it is done. I guess I cook through intuition more than through actual science. You would think this means my food is good, not so much, but the chicken it is divine. Even better than the roasted chicken, I did before we went gluten-free. (We try to eat as a family all at the table and therefore I try to cook stuff that we can all eat, even though only Lily is technically gluten-free).



13. I cannot believe that no one clicked on the link and read the Baby Elephant Story, it is the best thing I have ever written. I guess I will have to sit down and try to write something good that is new. Until then you could always read about the cute little baby elephant whose parents try to save him from drowning in the pool. Will the baby survive?

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Choices

Yesterday we traveled to Morioka Zoological Park, about two hours from our house. The trip was lovely, through the rolling hills, farms, and mountains. The zoo was nice as well. Lily was even well behaved the entire day, shocking. It was nice to spend time together. At home we tend to do our own thing, but stuck together for the entire day we interact a bit more. I like my family and the interaction is just what we all needed. The next few months are going to be so busy, and we each have our own things we have going, so once in awhile to be stuck together in a small vehicle for several hours is nice.

I think that we have all been ruined for life for the whole zoo experience. After what we saw in Kenya, it is hard to see elephants in captivity, very hard. To read the story of the baby elephant in Kenya click here.

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Mississippi vs. California is a hard choice. Do we get a choice? We at least get the illusion of a choice, there are two assignments and there are two people, if we each choose the same the choice will not be ours, if we each choose differently then the choice is ours. So which do we choose and does it matter? At first I wanted LA. I lived in California from the age of 12 until the age of 26. The longest I have ever lived anywhere and I love California, I love the culture, the people, it is me. I want to take Jeff, Mandy and Lilyto see the Sierra Nevada Mountain range, Yosemite and all the other lovely places from my childhood. I want to live in a place where we have access to everything that America has to offer, sports, theater, good schools, museums, gluten-free stores and restaraunts, used book stores, thrift shops, and Disneyland. What could be better than LA? A dream come true.

After a little research I am discovering what you all probably know, I could never afford a house in LA, not in an area I would want to live. And how do I know which area is good and which is bad? There are 80 school districts in LA county - not schools, school districts. Can you imagine how much research that is going to be? I started making charts, with school districts, test scores, zip codes, ect and four hours later I had just scratched the surface. There is just so much there, so much.

Gulfport and Biloxi Mississippi were devestated by hurricane Katrina. Living there would give us the opportunity to infuse that area with our money, buying a house, paying taxes, grocery shopping, it would all help the community to rebuild. We would have the opportunity to do volunteer work and really make a difference in our country, something very important to Jeff and I. In Mississippi we would be comfortable financially, we would be able to afford a nice house, and live at a higher standard of living, we would be able to afford a comfortable life and we would be closer to Jeff's family.

I still have a lot to research, but I am pretty sure that my mind is made up. Maybe tomorrow I will have another thought. Not that what I think matters at all, so why worry. I really should just do my homework and clean the closets. Concentrate on the things I can control and let the other things work themselves out. Ya, right!

The Assignments

There are two assignments available:

• Los Angeles, California
• Biloxi, Mississippi

We will find out which we get in Novemeber. What a contrast.

my first homework assignment in html class

Lemon Gelato

The brisk, refreshing taste of lemon is always welcome after a pasta meal. In this vaelvety ice cream, crème fraîche contributes richenss and a flavor reminischent of cheesecake. Look for crème fraîche in good cheese shops and specialty-food stores. Serves the gelato with berries.

Prep time: 20 minutes, plus 8 hours for chilling

Ingredients

• 1 cup half-and-half
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 3 lemons
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 6 egg yolks
• 1 cup crème fraîche or heavy cream

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1. In a nonaluminum sausepan, combine the half-and-half and cream. Using a vegetable peeler, remove the zest of 1 lemon in long strips. Add to the cream mixture. Place over medium heat and bring just to a simmer.


2. Meanwhile, grate the zest from the remaining 2 lemons. In a food processor, combine the sugar and grated lemon zest and process until well mixed. In a bowl, combine the egg yolks and lemon sugar. Whisk until pale and smooth. Slowly whisk in the hot cream, then return the mixture to the saucepan and place over medium-low heat. Cook, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until the mixture visibly thickens and coats the spoon, about 4 minutes. do not allow it to boil or it will curdle.


3. Remove from the heat and stir for 1 minute. Let cool for 15 minutes, then whisk in the crème fraîche or cream. Cover and chill thouroughly,about 8 hours.


4. Strain the mixture into an ice-cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer's directions.


5. To serve, scoop the gelato into serving dishes.

NUTRITIONAL ANAALYSIS PER SERVING: Calories 253, Protein 3 g, Carbohydrates 17 g, Total Fat 20, Saturated Fat 11g, Cholesterol 158 mg, Sodium 33mg, Dietary Fiber 0.

Thursday Thirteen # 1

1. We are planning on going to the Morioka Zoo this Monday with some friends. We haven't had the chance to go on any trips with our friends in over a year. This may be our last time before we leave. I have never been to the Zoo, it is a couple of hours away. It should be fun. Turns out that Monday is Columbus day and a Japanese holiday all at the same time so we are all off, which never happens.


2. Mandy's school is having homecomming week. She asked me to help her with her hair on Wacky Tacky day. The only time she has asked me to help with her hair since she was about five.


3. Mandy has a volleyball game tonight, she has been working hard this season and is a part time setter. The covetted position on the team.


4. I just signed up for the scholarship for two more courses, my last two courses here in Misawa. The new classes start Oct. 30, the ones I am taking now end Dec. 4. That means the month of Novemeber I will not remember. Hopefully my new classes are easy. The ones I am taking now are ok. I am currently trying to figure out what a Java Array is?
   
5. Lily and I are having a hard time getting along. I think I broke her. I feel like every decision I make is wrong, wrong, wrong. I tried to potty train her again and she refused. I presured her and now she just refuses to pee at all ever. My choices are a girl who wears regular underwear and never pees or a girl who wears pull ups and never sits on the potty. At least she gives me choices.


6. Mandy and I went out to dinner last weekend, just the two of us. We discovered that we miss each other. We used to be so close. Lately (the last 6 years) not so much. We both miss our relationship, but this entire week, we both tried but it is so hard. So hard to be close to each other. I think the problem is that we are both wanting to be the alpha female and it isn't working. So more trying.


7. Did you know that in some people allergies cause a the bodies chemical makeup to change and in some people this causes one to have anxiety and depression? I found this out the hard way, I still haven't called the doctor to get my allergy prescription updated. Now it isn't just allergies it is allergies plus crazy. Joy.


8. Jeff and I went on a date last weekend. We saw Miami Vice the movie. It was horrid. The worst movie I have ever seen. Jeff said it was just like the TV show. But, I loved the TV show. Either my tastes have changed or the movie was nothing like the show. I bought the first season of Miami Vice the TV show for Jeff about a year ago. Someday I am going to sit down and watch it to see if my tastes have changed or not. I really hated that movie.


9. Jeff has been doing two jobs for the last several weeks. Not like twice the work load in the normal hours, but 16 hour days. It is driving me nuts. This makes me feel bad. That he is so supportive all the time and when he can't be supportive I lose it. On the other hand, I can only handle what I can handle.


10. I am seriously considering getting a job at our next base. I am just not sure that I am cut out for the stay at home mommy bit. Logically it is the best for Lily and her stupid food allergies. Also she is not on course with other kids her age. She is always about six months behind what she should be developmentally. Having one on one with me helps her get to the next step with love and kindness instead of being labeled a problem child. I am afraid that in a stressful situation Lily would be a frustration to a care provider and not be liked. Maybe I am projecting my frustration. I see the local care providers and they are not the type of people I would feel comfortable caring for Lily. Still it would be nice to get a break sometimes.


11. We should be finding out what assignments are available in the next few days. The list is supposed to come out on Monday but that is Columbus Day. I am not sure if that means the list will come out Friday or Tuesday. Since we are a day ahead here in Japan, it will most likely be Wednesday before we see the list. Still that is less than a week. A list of the possibilities.


12. There is a Defense Attache position available in Norway. Jeff has previously applied for two or three of these positions and been denied. We are getting excited about going to the States, but I believe he is going to apply for this Norway position anyways, just to see. We wont get our hopes up or anything, but no sense not trying.


13. My blogging friend Jennifer writes a Thursday Thirteen every week. Today is Friday, but still Thursday in the States, anyways I am a copy cat. Great idea and I haven't been blogging in awhile I thought a good list would help.

Contrary Personality Disorder

I do not like to be told what to do. Perhaps that sound a little juvenile and perhaps it is, still this is who I am.

Example 1: As a child my parents would come into my room at night and tuck me in. Kiss me good night, say I love you and turn out the light. I was so completely frustrated by this, every night. I felt that forcing one into a ritual of saying I love you and kissing and hugging is horrible. I felt that if you say I love you when you are told to say I love you it doesn’t really mean I love you. It is just a silly ritual.

Example 2: Again as a child. Every night at dinner we were required to say thank you to my mom and tell her how much we enjoyed our meal. Again I felt that being forced to say thank you made the thank you insincere and therefore false.

Example 3: I have been trying to convince my family that we should eat dinner at the dinning room table. Instead we eat dinner on the couch watching TV. For years I have been trying. Whenever I serve dinner at the table I get so much rebellion from Jeff and Mandy that I have given up the fight. Last week someone told Jeff it was eat dinner with your family day, so he suggested we eat at the table, because someone else told him to do it. Jeff and Mandy were so excited to participate in the day thing. Me, not so much. I don’t want some day to tell me when and where to eat my dinner. Even though technically I want the family to eat dinner at the table I don’t want them to do it because of some day, I want them to do eat at the table when I suggested we eat at the table.

I have always been this way. I don’t like to do what I am told I am supposed to do. It makes me itchy and I just want to find a compelling reason not to do all the supposed tos. I have always been this way and always will be. I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with Jeff, where I tell him, I really wanted to do X but now I cannot because you told me to do X. Sorry.

When Mandy was born, she did not have this contrary personality disorder. Mandy likes to give presents on Christmas, she loves the rituals of good night kisses, of saying thank you Mommy dinner is delicious. Mandy thrives with boundaries and supposed tos. There are a vast array of other personality traits which Mandy possesses which are quite similar to mine but not this one. I thought for the longest time that the reason I am so contrary is due to the icky bits of my childhood, before I was removed from my biological family and adopted. I thought I was broken, or as Jeff says, that I just had “Issues”. I bought into the theory that our personality and choices are a result of how we are raised and how our parents treat us.

And then there was Lily. Sweet little Miss Lily has my Contrary Personality Disorder. She doesn’t like to do anything anyone tells her to do, ever. She is an extremely sweet, kind, happy person – but don’t tell her to do something or she will oppose you with the force of a thousand suns, doesn’t matter if it is something she wants to do, she would rather die a thousand deaths than do the supposed tos. Yeah Lily!

For this reason and others since Lily has come into our lives I have changed my perception of the amount of influence parenting has on a child’s personality. I used to think that a person was a product of their environment, now I am not sure how much of an influence I believe environment has. It has become apparent to me that biology or DNA is also very much responsible for our personality. But, the thing I think makes us who we are most is choice. I may have a DNA based urge to rebel but I can choose my behavior. I may have personality traits which are the result of my childhood but I have the capacity to choose my behavior. Anyways, it is freeing to feel that I am not broken, and freeing in raising Lily & Mandy to realize that every little thing I do and say isn’t going to determine who they will eventually become.