Picture Day

I have just now returned home from running a check to Lily's school. What a morning I have had. It is picture day for Lily and I somehow forgot to fill out the order form. I remembered to get her all dolled up. At the bus stop it suddenly hit me that I had forgotten to write the check and fill out the order form.

Before leaving for the bus, I was trying to get Lily's hair just right and she was squirming and crying. Mandy was trying to get a paper, which is due this morning, to print. I got so frustrated I couldn't get a braid in Lily's hair and I couldn't get Mandy's paper to print. Then Lily started crying that we were going to miss the bus. I got a straight part in her hair and put in a little clip. Lily is growing out her bangs and her hair needed a little help, especially on picture day. I noticed a lot of lint on the front of her navy blue dress and tried to find a lint brush or tape. Couldn't find either, where is all my tape anyways? Not in the tape drawer, but I noticed several new pictures taped all over the house. Lily likes to hang up signs. Boys bathroom, girls bathroom, no dogs allowed, restaurant, etc.

I got Lily to put on her shoes and backpacked, and we were out the door. She was of course upset that we were not the first ones at the bus stop this morning. We weren't last and we weren't late - but we were not first. Lily and I are working on using words and not whining, however that is not yet a skill Lily has mastered. We did get to the bus stop in time to wait about three minutes before the bus arrived. Usually we get there in time to wait at least 8 to 10 minutes. Lily likes to be first. While I am the mom and what time we leave the house is ultimately up to me, I tend to try and pick my battles with Lily.

I find that in a lot of my posts people's comments tend to be, you are such a great mom. Which is very sweet and I appreciate very much the kind words, I sometimes come away thinking that my blog is very self congratulatory. I hadn't intended that to be the case. It sometimes makes writing here difficult. In real life I don't get those comments. In real life I tend to get a lot of unsolicited advice about child rearing. Because in real life Lily is a hand full. I come here as a passive aggressive way of telling the world, mostly people that don't even know I have a blog, that I am to a good mom. I feel the need to explain myself, to say, I have a plan - I am trying hard - please shut up and leave me alone.

I think I have lost track of my story...

I came home from the bus stop and looked for Lily's picture order form and realized it was in her backpack. I thought to myself, it would have been easier to just bring Lily home from the bus stop and get the order form arranged and then drive her to school. But, Lily does not like to be driven to school, she rides the bus and she does not like change. So I decided to drive up to the school and fix it there.

First I noticed that Mandy was in the shower and that the light on my printer was blinking. I unplugged the printer and plugged it back in to discover that a half printed page had been stuck in the printer, what do you want to bet that Mandy's paper had not printed out? I tried to ask her while she was in the shower and she screamed back, I can't hear you can you wait a minute. 15 minutes later she tells me that the printer wont work.

So I fixed the printer, printed her paper, and then drove to the school. I didn't take a shower, had bed hair, and no makeup. wrinkled clothes etc. I hoped I wouldn't see anyone I know. What a morning. I got an order form from the front desk and filled it out, wrote the check. I was supposed to give it to the front desk and let them deliver it to the classroom. However, there was a long line of people who were late getting their kids to school this morning and so I walked down the hall and delivered the check to Lily's class myself, even though that is against the rules.

I got to the class and gave her assistant teacher the order from and check. Earlier I had seen her teacher with another parent in a conference near the office. As it turns out yesterday was my day to help in Lily's class, and the assistant teacher was home with a sick child so I stayed and helped for three and a half hours instead of my normal one hour. It was a lot of fun. So the assistant teacher thanked me for all my help and apologized for inconveniencing me, and I told her it was fun. I forgot to ask her if her son who has the swine flu is feeling better. I have not yet mastered the art of being a southern lady. Damn. I will make a point to ask her on Friday, which is my other day to volunteer at the school.

But, as we were speaking and I was giving her my check. About a dozen kids came out of their seats to give me hugs and tell me very important things. I felt so bad for disrupting the class. Especially since I was not supposed to be there. Not really, that was one of the high points of my life. I love being loved. Lily herself got out of her chair and came up to see me to. Last year the darling didn't even say hello to me when I was at the school and did not like for me to come to her class ever. This year I help in her class and she speaks to me, but never hugs me. I was thinking I was going to get a Miss Lily hug at school. I wrapped my around around her and she looks me in the eye and said, "You forgot to give me money for the raffle too." No Lily hug.

I gave her a dollar for the raffle and checked her face for crumbs. It is picture day after all. She gave me a sour expression and I told her she was beautiful. She smiled a little and returned to her seat. The other children were still trying to tell me important things. One saw me walking my dog. One lost a tooth. I said goodbye and sorry for disrupting the class and went on my merry way.

What a morning.

Receptive Language Delay: What Works for Me, 1st Grade

Every song I have heard on the radio this week has been a love song. Here I am missing my baby.

Maybe that will give me an incentive to keep up with my blog. A need for someone to talk to, someone to connect with.

In case you are on the edge of your seat wondering how the heck we all are...

Mandy got her license and her car. I am no longer a chauffeur. Not only do I have more free time, but her disposition has dramatically improved. She seeks me out and asks if she can help with chores and errands. I blinked my eyes and she became an adult. A thoughtful wonderful adult.

Lily is about six weeks into the first grade. She is doing well. Her receptive language delay is improving. Her behavior at school is fantastic. Her grades are average. She is still my little genius but she is has a bit of trouble demonstrating her genius on school work. It isn't for lack of trying she whole heatedly applies herself to school. We spend at least an hour usually two working on skills every night. She is steadily improving.

For all my receptive language delay friends, this is what is working for us currently. I have found that at six she physically improved, meaning her ability to process language is better than it was previously. Much of her delay now is caused by habit more than impairment. I work with her on improving her listening. I notice that she tends to tune people out especially when she is stressed or frustrated. She takes her cues from faces more than actual words and she talks over people so she doesn't have to listen.

What works for me... We play a game, I give her three funny things to do. Like - go to your room and punch your pillow, go to the garage and say the alphabet, go to the backyard and find an acorn. She has to listen to all three instructions and then do all three without any reminders. Then she gets to give me three instructions. She often forgets especially if one of the instructions takes time like saying the alphabet, but she is capable of remembering and I feel this game helps her to work that muscle. We get silly and have a lot of fun. There aren't any rewards or punishment we just make it fun, if she forgets I remind her or I pretend to forget to and we talk about it until she remembers.

Homework...Most of the other parents of first graders in my daughter's class spend about 15 minutes a night on homework and we spend at least an hour maybe two. However, we are doing more than they are. We go over things a lot. I make up work sheets that look like the ones she is doing. That way we can go over it together and then she is able to do her homework on her own. Sometimes she has trouble understanding instructions and so it takes me a little time and some ingenuity to explain things like fill in the blank. Lily prefers to pick her favorite word, than read the sentence several times with each of the choices and pick the one that works. She also likes to get done first, which is way more important to her than getting the write answer. I feel that by the end of the year she will be most improved, perhaps. She is on track. And we really enjoy the time we spend together doing homework, weird but true. I am grateful for the opportunity life has given me to be there for Lily.

That is my life in a nutshell. Add in a little volunteer work, a lot of paid work, a lot of dishes and that is it. Hasn't really seemed interesting enough to write about, but I miss you all.

All Over The Place

My parents and Jeff's mom are all coming to Mississppi to see Mandy graduate from high school and to spend some time with us at the end of May. I am trying to come up with a plan so that their vacation here is fantastic. Of course no one has opinions they all want me to come up with the plans, and when I do no one likes my ideas.

When Jeff picks up his mom from the airport he wants to pull into the driveway of the biggest mansion in our area and tell her, we are here mom. Then tell her to get back in the car before she gets arrested. Jeff tells it better. He is so excited.

I have a friend coming over to go walking with me, then I am stuffing envelopes for the PTO, doing my job, making reservations... The end of the school year is wild and crazy. I was putting everything on the calendar last night and it was all a bit much. Glad we decided not to do any extra activities this year. However, next year we are hoping to get into Girl Scouts.

So this post has meandered all over the place. This is my mind. All over the place.

A New Quilt

For Mandy's 18th birthday present I thought long and hard about what to get for her. I wanted it to be something she could keep forever and mean something to her but not cost a lot of money. She told Jeff that she wanted a new bread spread for her birthday present. I thought that was boring. Jeff is the type of person who gives me a list of what he wants for a present for birthdays and Christmas, I would rather be surprised. I would rather buy from the heart and get you the most wonderful and perfect present you didn't even know you wanted. More often than not people don't like my crazy gifts, but every once in a lifetime I will find the perfect gift for someone.

I happened to be on the website Brad's Deals while I was thinking about Mandy's gift and came across a special at Overstock.com on Egyptian Cotton Sheets. I asked Mandy if that was something she would like and she was overjoyed. She picked the black ones and they arrived and weeks later are still in the package unwrapped. Mandy loves Egypt more than any other place she has ever been and she loves to sleep. That may have been a miss. I am thinking of going in her room (something that is forbidden) and putting those damn sheets on her bed!

Mandy also wanted a new bedspread, too. We took her out shopping to all the stores and she found nothing she liked. Nothing. We talked and I offered to make her a quilt like I made for her sister. She wanted me to make a dragon in the middle of her quilt. I have trouble sewing a straight line if someone else threads the machine. I did some research and discovered that at Art.com they sell something called a fabric poster. We found the most perfect one, it is of two dragons around a yin/yang symbol. When it arrived in the mail we discovered that a fabric poster is a very fine delicate material like a silk handkerchief. We then went to the fabric store and picked out some fabric for the rest of the quilt. We discussed and I drew several designs until we found a design that Mandy liked. Then I put it on the computer to show her what the final quilt would look like and she was not happy so we re-made the design again. Now all we have to do is buy the fabric and make the quilt. I have to do the measuring again with the new design first and figure out how much fabric and how big to cut the pieces.

I have only ever made on quilt before and I had all that stuff figured out for me. It is very difficult to design a quilt from scratch with absolutely no experience. I miss my Grandma who passed away from Cancer last year. She was the one who quilted and got me to do my first quilt. She taught quilting classes. I would visit her sometimes as a little girl and she would teach me to crochet, knit, sew and we even made homemade pasta one time. We had it strung all over the house to dry, enormous 6 foot or longer strings of pasta hanging everywhere, such a vivid memory. I hope that this all works out and the quilt is lovely. I think it will be memorable something to last a lifetime? I it doesn't end up at the bottom of her closet like the one I made for Lily. I keep telling myself that someday that quilt will mean something to her. So far not so much.

I promise to someday take pictures and show you all the stuff, for now you will have to use your imagination.

Questions

Lily is going through another one of her asking questions phases. I have been trying to keep track of some of the best questions to share. I always try to answer her questions using language she can understand. Every single questions, Jeff usually says, "I don't know".

I can remember when we first got married, Jeff was often bothered by all the questions I asked him. I guess Lily comes by it naturally. I have to say that I enjoy our philisophical discussions, perhaps that says something about me - my favorite person to philosophy with is a five year old. Perhaps because she almost always takes my word for everything.

On to the questions...

• What is the last number?


• Where does the sky stop?


• Where does outerspace stop?


• What happens if I don't stop growing, will my head bonk the sky when I am 1000 years old?


• How old will you be when I am 100?


• What is 19 thousand plus 19 thousand?


• Where was I when you were a baby?


• Why do people die?


• How old will I be when I die?


• What would happen if the earth turned upside down, would we walk on the sky?


• Will I be taller than you?


• When will I be taller than you?


• When will I no longer be your daughter?


• What happens if I don't get married?


• Why are there so many cities and states?


• Is Japan in the world?

Isn't she fun?

Mandy's 18th Birthday

My sweet little baby turned 18 last week. We had a week long celebration. As luck would have it the Mardi Gras celebrations coincided perfectly with her birthday. The kids were on holiday from school Monday thru Wednesday. The universe was telling us to PARTY.

Mandy had some friends over on Tuesday. They brought all their video game stuff. We rented a volleyball net for the yard. I bought all the decoration that Mandy requested. I cooked all the food (sushi) Mandy requested. Other than that I took a backseat. Mandy decorated and greeted guests. As soon as all the food was done and out, Lily and I disappeared into the bedroom.

Lily was completely beside herself that Mandy's friends were not at all interested in Lily or anything she said or did. Poor girl. She spent the entire party trying to win over Mandy's friends, when I let her out of my room that is. She even invited many of Mandy's guests to her birthday party on July 14th as they were leaving. It cracked me up.

Lily and I were hiding in the bedroom. Watching cartoons and spilling chocolate milk all over the carpet. The party was scheduled to last from 12 until 5. At 5 we came out of the room and I started to clean up some of the empty food trays and empty glasses. The kids were outside playing volleyball. They hit the ball over the fence for the second time and they all went around the block to ask for the ball back. The behind us neighbor was not at home and as they all came back to the house many of them started to go home. We still had about 5 kids and they were playing video games. They had the rock star one, with drums, guitars, microphones. It was a game that a large group of people could play together.

The kids, Mandy included invited me to play with them. I said no a few times but they kept asking and finally I gave it a try. I had always wanted to play those games and I had so much fun. I never won at all not even close but I had a blast. It got to be 5:30 and none of the kids looked like they were leaving, I called Jeff and asked him to pick up some pizza on his way home. We fed them again. They all stayed until after 9. Jeff refused to play any of the games. What a poor sport. Can you imagine coming home from 12 hours of work, having to stop to get pizza and then having 6 teenage kids loudly playing video games in the living room. Poor Jeff. He and Lily hung out in the bedroom, me I was addicted to the games.

The kids were so nice. I have never in my life been included in one of Mandy's birthday parties. She not only invited me but she interacted with me as did all the kids. They made me feel really welcome and we all had a really fun time. They are really nice kids. They thanked me for the food, talked about their future plans, even asked for advice.

That day or maybe later something inside of me shifted. Mandy is an adult. I was able to keep her alive from birth to adulthood. Really nothing is changing at our house having arrived at this milestone. But, in a weird way it feels as if it has all changed. I am proud of myself, raising Mandy has been the single biggest accomplishment of my life. I feel that I did a good job, a great job. All that work, all that sacrifice and worry and the insurmountable vastness of it all - in the end we made it through with flying colors. Mandy is an amazing woman. She is the kindest person I have ever met, with more empathy than seems humanly possible, yet she manages to balance that with self esteem. She is able to feel compassion while putting herself first, giving without being depleted. She is one tough cookie that sweat heart. I thoroughly enjoy the role of parent of an adult, where I advise but ultimately I am no longer in control, I like the feeling of handing over the reins. I am a total control freak and I usually get frustrated when things are not just so, but less than a week into 18 I am liking being support staff and not the CEO of Mandy's life.

Of course she still doesn't know what she will do with her life, nursing is starting to seem like it will not be for her because of the blood and dying. Marine biology is seeming maybe not for her because of all the science. Even changing jobs this summer from the grocery store cashier job she hates to something full time that is less back breaking labor being spit on by customers and more sit at a desk and gossip type work - is feeling like too much for her to think about right now. I suggest she ignores. I think, well if she wants to cashier all summer, then that is what she will do. Last week her ambivalence was grating on my nerves something fierce, this week I am empathising with the whole she feels overwhelmed thing. Her dad is still completely frustrated with her, so at least she will be nagged by someone.

Life continues on even if it is always changing.

By the way friends, I am trying to raise some money for the American Cancer Society, I sent out emails to everyone in my address book, but if I somehow missed you... I am the team captain for a Relay for Life team called Pac Man (Parents Against Cancer -Man) the theme of our relay is the 80's. If you are interested in making a donation Click Here.

Over Thinking is My Asset

Long time readers will remember all my stories about how my five year old Lily has been obsessed with various things over the years. Starting with blocks, puzzles, letters, time, streets, running, dancing, etc. Recently she was loving reading. When she would barely read at all we would spend hours reading together. I would read to her or she would read to me. Her reading to me involved asking me various words and going over the story until she had the book memorized word for word. I don't know about you but sitting with her and reading a children's book for two hours is not really my idea of a good time. Maybe the first dozen or so times is fun and a bonding experience but after awhile my brain starts to ooze out my ear.

School has taught Lily phonics and now she sounds out words. She comes home with books to read for school and she has no interest in reading those books. She actually has no interest in reading her Junie B books anymore either. We used to spend hours reading and now she would rather do almost anything else, I have to force her to do her homework. The funny thing is that she read well now, we could sit down and read a book in maybe five minutes. The same is true for all the other obsessions Lily has had over the years, we used to spend all day doing puzzles and now she almost never wants to take the time to sort the pieces and find the edges etc. Her current obsession is telling me stories and planning parties for her babies. She also wants to know everything there is to know about outer space and how she can get a rocket ship, a space suit and go there. She also needs to know the exact age and year she will be old enough to venture into space, you have to plan ahead you know.

I was pointing out to Jeff the other day how fickle our Lily's passions seem to be. I told him my theory of why this is true. Based on my experience of taking a few child development classes, reading a few child development books, and being a day care provider and a mother I have drawn the following conclusion. I believe that whatever developmental stage Lily is going through determines her passions. For instance: if she is going through a cognitive developmental stage she is hungry for knowledge and wants to figure out how things works. If she is going through a gross motor developmental stage she is obsessed with running, jumping, climbing, kicking, being the fastest etc. I feel that her obsessions are just a result of her developmental process and not a reflection of her personality or the things that will be her true interests and passions when she is done cooking, fully developed, or grown.

Jeff thinks that everyone goes through stages. We like something for awhile and then move on to something else. He often tells me I over think things. Ya think?

Tonight Lily has her kindergarten play, we are so excited.

The Momma Fish

Today while Lily was taking a bath she was much louder than the TV in the living room. She was playing with her toys and just playing. I asked her to use her inside voice. She cried.

Then in a mommy like voice she said: Lily what is wrong.

Crying Lily: wahhh, mommy is being mean to me.

mommy Lily: it is ok sweetie, you will be alright.

crying Lily: wahh, why is mommy so mean to me?

mommy Lily shouts to me: Lily's mom - Lily's mom - this is not Lily this is the mommy fish - why are you being so mean to Lily? If you cannot be nice you will lose your job. Do you understand.

mommy Lily to crying Lily: It is alright Lily don't cry.

Some days I just don't know what to do with that child.

Homework

Tonight I was trying to help Lily with her homework. The assignment was for me to help her understand what her teacher calls the K and C rules. K before e, i, or Y. C before a, o, or u.

I began to explain. Lily's response is:

sometimes c borrows the ssss sound from s. but, the s doesn't mind because the c gives it back when she is done. They are really good friends. Sometimes the c spends the night at the s's house. s likes to share she is really nice.

Sometimes I feel like I have to stand on my head and juggle fire to get that girl to listen to me. Every other word out of my mouth starts Lily on a monologue. She has an enormous imagination, which I am sure is good. I think perhaps it is her imagination which is blocking her receptive language cortex.

I gave her a bath, did the two other homeworks, then we went back to the k and c explanation. She already understood the concept and I guess this was the reason she didn't want to hear it again. I let her explain it to me and then I put her to bed, only 45 minutes past her bedtime. At least her homework was done. And I am thankful that in Kindergarten there is only homework on Tuesdays. Yeah!

Junie B. Jones

I was very worried about Lily starting Kindergarten having never been away from me. Kim suggested reading Lily some books about starting Kindergarten and she gave me a list of recommendations. Shortly thereafter I found myself at the bookstore without Kim’s list. So instead of getting a book recommended to me by a kindergarten teacher I got the first book about kindergarten that I saw at the store. In my defense book stores are a 45 minute drive from my house. We ended up with the book, Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus. This book is about a girl named Junie B. and her first day of kindergarten. It is a chapter book, but intended for younger kids.

At first Lily wasn’t interested in listening to this book and she started kindergarten without being prepared by a book. She did alright. I continued to try and read this book to Lily on regular basis. The book is filled with naughty forbidden words like: stupid, dump, and shut up. Lily picked up all these words. Soon she was getting in trouble on a regular basis for her inappropriate vocabulary. Jeff suggested that we stop reading the Junie B. book. However, by then Lily was really enjoying the book. We went from her listening to one page at a time to one chapter and then to her sitting still and listening to the whole entire book in one sitting. This took about an hour.

The fact that Lily has a receptive language delay does not mean she is incapable of receiving language and listening, it means it takes a good bit of concentration. I feel that the more she listens the better she will get at listening. Exercising the receptive language muscle. For this reason I continue on with the Junie B. book. In fact we checked out more of them from the library. Lily is happy to spend an hour everyday reading the same Junie B. book. I however needed to expand our repertoire.

She got the next few Junie B. books for Christmas. We continue to enjoy the books on a daily basis. I am glad to have a bit of variety. Lily continues to struggle with remembering what is appropriate for Junie B. is not appropriate for Lily.

In the books Junie B. often screams, just like Lily in real life. Whenever the words are printed in all caps and it says that Junie B. screamed that particular passage I scream it out while reading. Lily lives for that part. She asks me to repeat it over and over again. I insist that we take turns. Junie B. screams whole paragraphs of text at a time and Lily read it. We do it over and over again, screaming at the top of our lungs. We dissolve into giggles. Jeff will be in another room and come to see what in the world is going on. Just reading a book we will tell him. He shakes his head. He is not at all thrilled with Junie B.

Lily Monster

At Lily's school the way kindergartners are disciplined is with colored tickets. Everyday they start on green if you have a behavior problem your ticket is pulled and you are on blue, then yellow, then orange, then RED. At red you go visit the principal.

Lily had her ticket pulled one time on August 15th. She remembers the date and talks about it all the time. Until last week that is, last week Lily had her ticket pulled three days in a row. She came home on blue: Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Last Friday there was a special treat for Kindergartners, they were allowed to come to school in Pajamas and watch the movie Polar Express after the movie the kids had hot chocolate with marshmallows and cookies. Everyone could go to the party except kid's whose ticket was pulled MORE than three times in that week. Lily thought the teacher had said if your ticket is pulled three times you cannot go, I thought that too. So she went to school on Friday thinking she was going to have to stay behind while all the kids went to the movie, except her and two boys who have their tickets pulled everyday.

You would think that Lily would be absolutely devastated by this punishment. She seemed to be more bring it on than upset. Everyday that week she would come home and ask me questions about having her ticket pulled. What happens if I come home on blue? What happens if I come home on yellow? What happens if I come home on orange? What happens if I come home on red? She would repeat the questions over and over again in the same sitting or in an hour later. I am not sure but I think this is a part of her receptive language delay, Lily asks the same question 5 million times in a row. Used to drive me crazy, now that I understand that processing the answer to the question takes her a bit longer I no longer mind repeating. Sometimes I just keep repeating until she gets it. Sometimes I get creative and try alternative ways of getting the information into her pretty little head. Lots of physical gestures and rephrasing. Although I have to be careful with the rephrasing, because sometimes that makes it worse, instead of having one sentence of information trying to get in her head now she has two different sentences trying to get in and this causes a lot of frustration.

I had a choice while Lily asked all those questions. A choice between making a super big deal out of having her ticket pulled of reinforcing the teacher or not. I chose to let the punishment stand and not make a huge deal out of the ticket pulling. I am not entirely sure I made the right choice but there it is, my choice. Every time Lily asked me about having her ticket pulled, What will happen if...? My reply was a simple, I will say, "I hope you come home on green tomorrow." Lily thought and thought about this and asked me and asked me. I know she was thinking, so what is the big deal anyways, nothing bad is going to happen. I am choosing to allow the ticket pulling itself be the punishment. She has to walk to the front of the room in front of the entire class and pull her ticket. That is really hard for little miss I hate to be criticised. And she has to pull her ticket without throwing a fit, without telling the teacher to shut her big fat mouth, like she tells me when I have her go stand in the corner or I take away her favorite toys for the day. So that is the punishment and at home I simply say to Lily, I hope you come home on green tomorrow. I thought very long and hard about this decision and like I said, I am not entirely sure that it is the right one, we shall see.

One side effect of all the ticket pulling has been that Lily has come out of her shell. The entire school year she has insisted that she have the exact same lunch everyday. She brings her lunch box and eats all the exact same foods, put in the box in the exact same way everyday. All of a sudden she no longer wants to bring her lunch she wants to buy her lunch. Yesterday she bought her lunch for the first time and she loved it. Now she wants to buy everyday. She went from having to have everything just so to wanting to try new things. She also informs me that she no longer wishes for me to walk her to and from the bus stop. I didn't let her have her way on that one.

I am wondering if this is all just a growing spurt. Perhaps the social part of her brain is growing and I am seeing a bunch of changes all at once. Or is this a result of living through having her ticket pulled three times. Her biggest fear come to life and now she is no longer afraid of what might happen if... One thing is for sure, the Lily I know at home is beginning to surface at school. Strong, loud, defiant and fun Lily has started kindergarten. The quiet obedient little girl who was sitting in Lily's seat these past four months seems to be out to lunch. It makes me happy that she is feeling more confident at school. Relaxing enough to make mistakes. I think it will help her in her development immensely. I am not sure her teachers will agree.

The Giving Tree

by Shel Silverstein is mine and Lily's favorite book.

We hadn't read it in awhile. Her reading has advanced to the point where she was able to read much of the book to me this time. Having a book that we take from the shelf and each time we read it together she is able to read more and more of it herself is magical.

The first time we read the book she was mesmerized by the repetition of words and seeing those words on the page she noticed that apple and happy both contain app. She fell in love with learning the spellings of words and she memorized dozens of words. Now she is reading in school and skims over the apple and happy not even noticing the app in both.

This time she is hearing the story. She is asking me questions, who is not really happy? Why aren't they happy? Read this page again mommy. Tell me again why is the tree not happy. Why did the boy take her apples, branches and trunk. Tell me again mommy.

We talked about the story, the meaning, for a couple of days and then it was gone. We moved on to another book, another story, another thought. The Giving Tree sits beside me on my desk, ready to be reshelved for another day. I wonder what magic this book will bring to us the next time we pull it from the shelf.

-do you have a favorite book that you share with your child?

Each of my children have different books they love. At this age for Mandy it was Dr. Suess's ABC's. She made me read that book to her every night for more than a year. Lily gets consumed by a book and talks of nothing else and then we move on, consumed by another book only to return and reacquaint ourselves with a book again on another day.

Nutcracker

It is that time of year again. Mandy and I are off to see the Nutcracker tonight. She had to work today from 8 a.m. until 3 p.m. the show is at 7:30 p.m. We have to drive to another city about an hour and a half away. A very full day for both of us. I have to work and take Lily to a birthday party.

Last night I got up around 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. because my belly was giving me a lot of trouble. I thought perhaps a bit of tums might help me get back to sleep. I noticed that the light in Mandy's room was still on.

I have the feeling that Mandy is going to be grumpy and not a lot of fun tonight. Working all day after having been up all night. We will be in the car together driving on the freeway in the dark for a total of three hours. I hate driving by the way.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Seems to me that we are not going to be having a whole lot of fun on this trip. Why bother. So we can say we did? This is what I hate about Christmas, you do a bunch of crap you don't really feel like doing in order to say that you did those things. Are you supposed to pretend that it was all worth the trouble?

When Amanda was little, going to the Nutcracker was so magical and fun. We would get all dressed up and we would have so much fun. We would always buy a cookie at intermission and we would talk for hours about the costumes, the music and the performances. Sometimes our favorite ballerina would be someone with a very small part. We would compare all the performances we have ever seen and discuss which production we enjoyed the most.

I am imagining that we are going to drive there in silence. Watch in silence. Drive home in silence. Perhaps Mandy will sleep. When I try to talk she will tell me she is not in the mood to talk right now. I will worry that she is depressed or having some sort of troubles I don't even know about. But, now I know that the reason for her being a pain today is going to be because she stayed up all night reading and she is tired. Perhaps I will ask her when she gets off from work if she really wants to go today or not.

One good thing about kids who go away to college is that I don't have to deal with all the bad choices and I don't have to suffer from the consequences of bad choices. With her in the house I am so wrapped in her stuff that I suffer with all the late to works and the didn't study for a tests and I stayed up all night reading a book and now I am being an ass.

Too bad she has no desire to leave home. No desire to listen to me or be responsible either it would seem.

Univ. Dorms or Community College

That is the question which is currently plaguing Mandy's life.

Turns out we did our best but we were only able to save enough money for about one semester of tuition for Mandy at a University. Which means if she goes away to college it will be with loans. I actually applied for financial aide in order that I could finish my degree this year and I was denied. We make even more money this year and I am pretty certain we will not be able to get any grants. Mandy will apply for some scholarships but we are doubtful in that area as well. She got good enough grades to get into the college of her choice but beyond that scholarships are not likely.

Mandy could save $24,0000 dollars if she went the community college route instead of the living in the dorms at the university route. I crunched the numbers and living at home all four years, going to the local community college the first two years and then going to her university of choice from home via a satellite campus just down the road would give her the opportunity to receive the exact same degree at a savings of $24,0000. That is a lot of money in our family.

I haven't even gotten one degree yet. I think of college as something I wanted to give my daughter more than anything. I am so upset that over the last eighteen years I did not save more and I am not able to give her this free and clear. Feeling like a failure. I know that my decision to be a stay at home mom for the last seven years is the major reason we do not have the money saved to send her away free and clear. I am feeling pretty low. I have to admit here that my decision to be a stay at home mom was mostly for me. I love this job. These years have been the best of my life. I feel like staying home with my kids is the one thing in this world that I was born to do. It is my favorite thing, my passion.

I know that my being home has been beneficial to Amanda. Mandy was in daycare from four until eleven, before and after school. I couldn't afford world class care and so she got the other kind of care. She hated it. Mandy's personality is the type that she likes coming home and being with mom. I have also been able to drive her to work everyday. Drive her to volleyball everyday. She was able to do a lot of things that she wouldn't have been able to do because I was always able to drop everything and give her what she needed. But, for the most part being a stay at home mom has made my job as mom easier and given me the chance to do the mom thing without the added stress of a job. I am not the type of person who does stress well. I like this laid back life. I gave up having extra stuff so that I could really enjoy the years my kids are young. But, I also gave up the ability for the rest of the family to have a lot of cool stuff that extra cash can give. They all agree that my being home adds to the quality of their lives in non-monetary ways. But, I still feel bad that my decision has cost Amanda the chance to go away to college free and clear of any financial concerns.

If Mandy chooses to go away to school. We have told her that we are prepared to take on as much of the financial burden as possible to limit the amount of money borrowed. We will help her pay back whatever money she does end up having to borrow. We have above 800 credit scores and will be able to get her the best interest available. She can live at home after college while she is getting her loan paid off and working her way up the corporate ladder. But, at the end of the day she will be responsible for paying off a large portion of her college tuition.

Currently Mandy has no idea what she wants to pick as her major, what she wants to do for a living etc. Which means she most likely will end up on the five year college plan. Which will add even more debt to her student loan if she chooses the university route. Mandy is also worried about being around a bunch of people whose morality is not like her own. She is very much against drinking, drugs and sex. She didn't get those ideals from me but that is how she feels and she is worried that living in the dorms she will be a fish out of water.

I put this forth because I know that most of my readers are products of the college dorm and have university degrees. So enlighten me folks. What am I missing. Why should I encourage my reluctant to go away to college daughter to actually go away to college. After taking into consideration the money and lack of direction, what are the advantages of going away to college? Also take into consideration the fact that Mandy has traveled the world: Europe, Africa, Asia. The choice is hers, we often discuss the pros and cons of each side and the pros for going away to college I don't have anything to add to that list. I say something like: experience of a lifetime and she says something like, quit saying that mom. So give me some reasons for going away to college or tell me that community college and living at home are not the worst thing in the world.

Recptive and Expressive Language Delay

Many of you have been urging me to speak to Lily's teacher. I have been putting it off. I am a wuss when it comes to confrontations. To recap, Lily's teacher tested her ability to read and recognize letters etc - Lily did poorly on the test. This came as a shock to me because she if very good at doing these types of things at home.

We had another incident. The kids started coming home with books to read. They are cute little books containing three letter words the kids can sound out based on the letters they have learned so far this year. Lily read the book and had so much fun she has read it to me more than 100 times. The first time you read a book on your own its a little magical. Once the child could read the book we are supposed to send it back in so they can be tested. Lily did not do well on the test.

Another book comes home. This one I am supposed to read to Lily because it is supposedly beyond her reading level. She read it to me no problem. I was a little amazed. Seems she understands how to sound out words. She read the book to me several times. We talked about the story over and over. I was absolutely certain that she understood how to read each word in the book and also understood what the teachers call fluency (meaning she knows what the words mean). I signed the paper and sent the book back to school and Lily came home with a note saying her score was 0% and that I need to make sure she understands the book before I sign the paper.

I didn't know what to do. I was very upset. Jeff happened to be home from work that day and told me to write an email to the teacher. I didn't want to. I didn't know what to say. So Jeff wrote the email. The teacher called us back immediately and I got the phone. I was hoping he would.

I talked to the teacher for almost an hour. Turns out that she knows Lily is an excellent reader. She knows that Lily is very bright. She knows that I work with her and she appreciates all I do. She says Lily is very well behaved too. But... She believes that Lily is having a problem with her ability to understand and communicate language. The fancy words are expressive and receptive language. while Lily is doing well in class even better than most, it takes her a long time to understand directions etc.

This conversation was like a light bulb moment for me. The teacher had literally explained my child to me. I have always known that she is not exactly the same as everyone else. I mean she is very smart, so it is hard to explain what is different. She has an excellent vocabulary and speaks well, but her ability to have a conversation is limited. Meaning she often doesn't answer questions. I will be talking about one thing and she will be talking about something else. Getting a connection with Lily is a challenge. I often times have to repeat things or demonstrate things in a demonstrative manner before she knows what I mean. I guess I have been doing this intuitively. I love Lily's teacher. I can't believe how many times I have taken her to the doctor or written on my blog about something and not been able to figure it out.

Right now we are in the process of going through paperwork and talking to the speech teacher and head teacher to see if we need to come up with a program. We will at some point have a meeting all together. I don't know that there is any intervention needed because she is doing quite well in school. It is just nice that the teacher and I both understand that she isn't always able to understand directions right off the bat. It isn't that she isn't listening or paying attention, she isn't being bad. It may be something she will just grow out of and catch up with her peers or it may just be the way she is.

I read that all children with Autism have this problem too. The thing is that Lily's isn't that severe. I think the biggest problem is that she is ahead of her peers cognitively and behind in her language skills. It must be hard to not have the language ability to express all that goes on in her head. It is not for a lack of trying because she talks pretty much every waking moment. I guess she is working on things.

That is what is up with the Lily bug, she learned how to read - she is reading whole actual books it makes me want to sing and dance. And her teacher figured out what it is about Lily that is just a little bit different than other kids. She has a little bit of trouble processing language.

Blue Skies and Sunshine

Lily came home early from school on Tuesday for throwing up and has been home with me ever since.

She has been battling a fever.

I have been battling a cough.

My cough is keeping me up at night.

The combination of worry for her and lack of sleep has left me in a fog.

Today is better.

Lily's has been fever free since 1PM yesterday. I did keep her home again from school today just to be sure and she is doing very well.

I slept last night too.

The sun is out and the sky is blue. Do you think it would be bad for us to enjoy the weather when she is home sick from school?

I am so very grateful that I have the opportunity to be able to drop everything and be here for her until she is completely well.

Lily just got herself a glass of water while I was typing this out. I love five!

Behavior Modification VS Medicating Hyper Children

Today is Lily' s fifth day of Kindergarten. She is doing great at school. The first few days she wasn't really able to settle down enough to communicate with me. Now she is back to her old self. I wonder if kids with ADD or ADHD are always like that? I mean for days Lily couldn't settle down enough to listen or talk, I knew she was in there but I couldn't get a connection.

Some of the things I did which seem to have helped Lily settle down: I put us on a schedule. I used only a soft patient voice, even though she was driving me crazy and I wanted with every fiber of my being to scream, "knock it off". I gave her a physical outlet for her extra energy, like going for a walk or wrestling with me. I also get her up for school about an hour before we need to leave for the bus, that gives her enough time in the morning for a lea surly breakfast and time to goof off and not be in a rush. Finally she started to come out of that hyper place and was our Lily again. I hope the same is true about her behavior at school.

I can see why people would want to medicate a child who cannot calm down enough to engage. I would say that Lily is on the hyper side of a typically developing child. I am so thankful that I am able to calm Lily down and get her focus back after a week of intense behavior modification work at home. I can't help but wonder what it would be like if all that work did not net any results. If no matter what I did Lily couldn't settle down enough to connect with me, to listen and hear me and to gather herself enough to communicate her thoughts to me.

I share this experience with you because I hear so much about kids being over medicated. I wonder if I was in a different place and not able to spend so much time with behavior modification, would Lily need to be medicated? I know we all wonder if some of the kids who are being medicated could really be better managed with some behavior modification. There are so many children being medicated today. But, are they really being over medicated? I just can't wrap my brain around that statement. Why in the world would a doctor give medication to a child unless that child really and truly needed that medication? I do know of moms who give their child Benadryl or Tylenol as a behavior modification tool. But, a doctor? Do you feel that thousands of doctors are really and truly just writing prescriptions for kids without the kids best interest at heart? I really wonder about that when I hear people talk about the over medication of our children. Are our doctors really that greedy or lazy? Are our doctors so corrupt that they just write prescriptions without a second thought? Is that what we as a society think of our doctors, who are supposedly the best doctors in the entire world? What are you thoughts?

First day of Kindergarten

I am sitting here in my home all by myself, watching Matlock. Can't wait to find out who done it. Yesterday was Lily's first day of kindergarten. Jeff took the rest of the week off from work except that today he had a meeting he couldn't miss. This is the first time I have been alone. So far no one has cried, we are working our way through this period of adjustment the best we can.

Lily decided to get a hair cut, long hair has a lot more tangles than short hair.

Tuesday morning I spent with Mandy at the DMV renewing her permit. Tuesday afternoon Jeff, Lily and I got to go to the school and meet Lily's teacher. The classroom was amazing, and Lily loved it there. We got a packet of papers to read. We had already gotten the class supply list, brought the supplies to the meet the teacher day, but in the new packet we got on Tuesday the teacher informed us we needed to get Lily a mat to take a nap on. I did not know this ahead of time and did not know how my bus riding daughter was going to carry a sleeping mat. The teacher also requests that Lily bring a change of clothes and a jacket in her backpack everyday. Plus, Lily brings her lunch so her little backpack is very full. We decided to put Lily on the bus and then jump in the car and bring the sleeping mat to the teacher before Lily got to the school. I couldn't think of any other way to get the sleeping mat to the school. I wanted to make sure that Lily didn't have a bunch of change added to what she is already going through going from a life spent with mom to going to school all day. I think it is best if she rides the bus to and from school all the time with as little change to her schedule as possible. The school recommends utilizing the bus and it is a nighmare to drop off. Plus I think the kids going to and from cars looks dangerous. All the kids on our street ride the bus and the bus driver is very nice. I know a lot of parents feel like the bus is an unsafe environment for the kids without a lot of supervision but I am feeling this is the best for our little Lily. Plus she loves it. Here we are on the first day at the bus stop.

After Lily got on the bus we rushed to the school to get the mat to the classroom before Lily got the classroom. I did tell Lily I was going to go there and bring her mat while she was on the bus, it wasn't like I was keeping secrets. I just want for her to feel like school is for her without me. She is very adamant that there are NO MOMMIES ALLOWED at school. She told me that she is pretty sure there is a sign at her school a big sign, that says NO MOMMIES.

School drop off is a crazy thing. The teacher gave us a two typed page instructions for how to drop off your child, including a map. Bascially you enter on the East you drive around the back of the school drop off the kids at the back of the school and exit on the west of the school. Since there was so much traffic, Jeff thought he could drop me off as we entered on the East and as he drove around the school I would run to drop off the mat and be back in the car before he exited the dropping off line of traffic going around the shool. I jumped out of the car and all the doors on that side of the school were locked and there was no path to the front of the school from that side of the building. I would have had to swim a moat. While Jeff was driving around the school, here is Marsha walking next to all the cars waiting for their turn to drop off the kids. What a dork. I finally got around and there I was walking with a mat and no kid. Jeff was in line to drop off a kid without a kid to drop off. The opening the door lady looked at him and around the car and gave him a wierd look. I walked straight to Lily's room, got a lot of looks but no one stopped me. Must have been the mat. The school forbids parents from walking their kid to the room, everyone was walking their kid to the room. The school forbids parents from walking to the room without first checking in at the office, so that was my first offense.

But, all went well, I dropped off the mat, and found Jeff. We then had to navigate through all the traffic from the school to a church. Our PTO held a boo hoo breakfast for all the parents who had kids starting kindergarten. I met several moms that live very near me and have girls Lily's age. So great. Two girls from Lily's actual class that live just two streets over. I exchanged phone numbers etc. I signed up for all the committees available. Is that too much?

After the breakfast we came home and looked at each other for awhile. I called my parents forgetting about the time diffence and woke them up. Jeff wanted to see a movie. We decided to go to the gym and to lunch. I killed myself at the gym and then we went to the Korean Restaraunt that we love still in our workout clothes. If you have never had Korean food, let me tell you that when you eat it you stink afterwards. Fermented cabbage, lots of onion and garlic. Jeff eats there a couple times per week and he reeks. It is nicer when we have both eaten there, I think it deadens the senses. I imagine that I did not smell or look all that great. But, I made it through the day. We stopped at Walmart and got home and still had about an hour. I was counting down all day to when will Lily come home.

She got off the bus and I can't tell you how happy I was to see her. While she talks all day everday, I could not get out of her any details about school. I drove me crazy. We had cookies. Lily did tell us that she forgot to bring her water bottle from from her backpack with her to lunch and she didn't know how to buy milk with the money I sent. The school has a lunch account for people who buy lunch, but not for people who buy milk. She must bring exact change everday 35 cents for milk. First day of school and I gave her water and money for milk, yet she had no fluids. Seven hours away from me and no fluids, I am surprised she is still alive. Just kidding. Jeff and I were discussing how to handle this, to make sure she got something to drink at lunch tomorrow, which is now today. And the teacher called.

Isn't that sweet, the teacher called us so we could discuss her first day. I love her teacher. The teacher gives us a daily stamp telling of her day: green great, blue good, ... red horrid. Lily got green her first day. I was so relieved, long time readers will remember that Lily has had a difficult time learning how to behave. During the phone call I was able to ask about the milk situation etc. The teacher was able to tell me that Lily talks all day long, even when the teacher is talking. When the teacher askes Lily to stop talking and use her listening ears Lily says, "What". And when the teacher reminds Lily to say, "yes, Ma'am" Lily growls at her. The teacher actually made the Lily growling sound to me over the phone. She asked me if we have taught our daughter to say, "yes, Ma'am" at home. She said she wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I felt like saying that she was lucky Lily didn't scream and smack her like she does me, when I correct her behavior. But, I did not say that. I told the teacher that yes, we do teach her to say yes, ma'am at home. And that I will work with her at home and remind her about not talking when the teacher is talking and to say yes ma'am.

Lily's teacher also mentioned that Lily was very excited to be at school and had a very good day. Excited seems like to tame a descritpion about how Lily feels about going to school. I thought that a girl who has never been away from her mom would be shy or timid in this new situation. I guess I thought wrong. I am happy that Lily feels safe and is developing her social skills. I do not think Mandy spoke to anyone at all during elementary school. While the teachers could not praise Mandy enough for her excellent behavior, Mandy was misserable and I don't really think she got a whole lot out of elementary school. Lily may be a chatter and not the dream student for a teacher I think she will get attention and not be that kid the teacher didn't even know was in her class.

Lily is still a little on the possesed side. She is hyper and hard to talk to, easily upset etc. With patience and calm I have been able to keep her on schedule and keep her from having a melt down. I know it is a lot for her to handle but I think she is doing well. It is just so weird that she has this whole day of things that I don't know anything about. What are her friends names? Were they nice to her? Did she laugh? Did she have fun at recess? What did she learn? I have no clue, no clue at all.

A World in Which Bad People Do Not Exist

For those of you keeping track today is Friday and slide day at swim lessons. Last week Lily was disappointed that they only use the slide on every other Friday and was able to coerse her instructors into taking her down the slide. I was wondering if she would be as excited this week about going down the slide now that she really knows what it is like, to fly through the air and go completely under the water. The answer is YES, she was excited, and she loved it even more this time. She was the only one in her level one class who went down the slide on her own, instead of on her instructors lap. She was smiling/ laughing so hard that she got water in her mouth everytime she went down. She didn't swallow or choke, I guess she is learning. I have never seen a kid love swim lessons as much as Lily does.

Now for my dilema and request for advice or thoughts. I am worried about the private parts talk. Lily having been cared for only by family thus far, we have never really seen a need to have a talk about private parts. Now that she is going off to school I feel the need to tell her don't let people look or touch these parts.

On the other hand I am a little hesitant to bring into Lily's perfect little world the topic of bad people.

Fearless and Friendly

Lily's days of being four are coming to an end. Elementary school here we come. Monday is her birthday. I have been a stay at home mom and Lily has not been away from me very much at all in her life thus far. I have been a little concerned that this would handicap her kindergarten experience, however in the end it has been a wonderful gift for both of us to be able to spend these years together. Now she is more than ready to take the enormous step of independence and venture off on to the school bus to full day kindergarten all on her own. School starts on Aug. 6th here.

Meanwhile, we have been taking swim lessons. We have just completed the third week and we have three more weeks to go and that takes us right up to the week that school starts. School is starting on a Wednesday for some reason. Our first two weeks of swim lessons were in the mommy and me class. They require all kids under the age of five and a half to be in the mommy and me class. Lily was able to demonstrate that she can float on her back and belly and that she is able to hold her breath and put her face in the water, so they promoted her to the next level of swim lessons. We call the class the no-mommy class, but they call it level 1. This past week Lily has been in the pool everyday without her mom. While I was there at the pool I made sure to sit far enough away that I couldn't hear what was going on and gave Lily a little space.

The first few days Lily was a little quiet. While she loved the no-mommy class and excitedly talked of nothing else, she kept to herself for the most part during the lessons. On Friday she was feeling quite confident and her exuberant personality started to be expressed to her teachers and the other kids. That day I ended up sitting very close by her class and was able to hear and see all that was going on. Lily is the best little swimmer in the class. If she only knew what to do with her arms and legs she could be an Olympian. She is not at all afraid of the water and loves to be under water. But, she kicks and moves her arms in ways that are not conducive to going forward. I guess that is what the lessons are for. The other children in the class are a year or so older and most of them do not like the water much at all. They line up at the wall and take turns being helped by the teacher. While waiting at the wall Lily is the life of the party. She is giggling and goofing off with the other boys. Especially this one boy who is quite a bit bigger than her. The two of them were the renegades of the class and even had to be separated. One time the teacher asked the kids to raise their hands if they were listening. Lily and her little friend where the only ones to not raise their hands. While she is technically there at swim lessons to learn to swim, I can't help but be glad she is having the chance to work on her social skills. She appears to have an instinct for socialization and my kindergarten concerns are lessened by the fact that she was able to be comfortable with the teachers and kids in swim lessons in less than a week. Yeah, Lily.

There is an enormous slide at this pool. Last summer and so far this summer the slide was closed for repairs. Last week all the kids got to go down the slide on Friday, in celebration for passing their two week swim lesson session. All the kids except for the little ones in the Mommy and me class. We were then in the mommy and me class and Lily was so upset that everyone got to go down the slide except her. Another mom told me earlier this week that they go down the slide every Friday. I passed this information on to Lily and now that this week she was in the no-mommy class she was so excited that on Friday she would be allowed to go down the slide. This is all she talked about. As the lesson was coming to an end, I noticed that none of the kids in any of the classes were going to the slide. No one was talking about it, no one was lining up. As the clock ticked slowly toward 11:15 I got a knot in my stomach. I knew that there was not going to be sliding at the end of today's lesson. I felt horrid for telling Lily she would be able to go down the slide without having asked the teacher. I knew she was going to be upset.

When 11:15 finally came and the teachers said it was time to go home, Lily climbed up the ladder out of the pool very quickly, stood at the side of the pool and dissolved into tears. She was not throwing a fit so much as crushed. I wrapped her up in the towel and told her how sorry I was. The instructors were beside themselves worried about Lily. What is the matter? I can imagine this extreme change from the laughing, goofing off, life loving girl that they had seen all week to this devastated sobbing girl was a shock. They had no idea what was wrong, did she lose a limb climbing out of the pool? I explained the situation and apologized to Lily again. We all told her next Friday she would get to go down the slide. Her crying was ebbing a little, but she was still ever so sad.

All of a sudden her two instructors decided they would take Lily on the slide. One of them took her to the deep end and helped her climb the stairs to the top of the enormous slide. Usually little kids are not allowed on the slide. You have to be able to swim the length of the pool unassisted to be allowed to use the slide during regular pool hours. But, if you are in swim lessons on every other Friday (I thought it was every Friday) they help the little ones use the slide. Today Lily was the only kid in swim lessons who got go down the slide. She flew out the end of the slide, she was suspended in air for several beats and then went into and under the water. The teacher helped her up and to the side of the pool. I met her there with a towel and thanked then many times. I think it was a little more than Lily expected as she was pretty quiet.

I guess Lily has made an impression on her teachers for them to go to such lengths for her. It was so sweet. Funny too, that they spend the entire lesson trying to get other kids to jump into the water or put their face in the water and here is Lily wanting to fly out the end of the slide into the deep end of the pool. She has wanted to go down that slide since last summer when she first saw it. So wish fulfilled. And Mommy feels so much better about kindergarten knowing that she seems to be doing well interacting with her peers and teachers without my interference. I wonder how she is going to feel about the slide next Friday, will she still want to do it now that she knows?