This was the subject of Jeff's email yesterday. He wants my permission to volunteer to go to Afghanistan for a year. A year. I would stay here in Japan. Without a job, without all that much contact with the outside world, with a two year old and a teenager. It would suck.
He joined the military to serve, to do his job, and so far he has never been sent to the front lines. Twelve and a half years in the military and his job is to write reports about reports, now he has been promoted to upper middle management and he is given the pleasure of writing reports about the people who write the reports about the reports. So to go to Afghanistan would be to fulfill his reason for joining the military in the first place. Instead of waiting for them to order him to a forward location he wants to volunteer.
Volunteering also has its rewards, we would get the opportunity to hand pick our next base, Europe here we come, and we would get more money, and it would help Jeff’s career. The higher his rank is when he retires the more money we get paid in retirement. One of the biggest benefits of the military is that you get ½ your pay for the rest of your life when you retire, plus healthcare. Bla, bla, bla I don’t want him to go.
I know I married a man in the military . I knew this was his dream when I married him. I really don’t want to be alone for a year, I really don’t want him anywhere near the war. Very selfish I know.
So I told him that I would support him no matter what, but that I don’t want to be the one to make this decision. It is up to him. If I told him to follow his dream and go, and then he got killed I would forever feel it was my fault. I guess I will no matter what because I know that if I insist he doesn’t go he wont. I told him that if he doesn’t go, and he resents me that would be awful too. So it is his decision. He worries we will hate him. I said we wont. I know it would take a lot of adjustment when he got home, but we would survive. So do you think I did the right thing? Should I have told him not to go? Should I have told him to follow his dream?
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2 comments:
I don't envy y'all having to make this decision. While there does seem to be some benefit in Jeff going to Afghanistan, the danger part is scary.
I'll say a prayer that a decision be made in peace and that it be the right one.
That is such a difficult decision. I'm a rather selfish person, I want my husband with me all the time -- but I think you said the right thing in telling him the decision is his and you'll support it.
Under other circumstances, I would say tell him to follow his dream. But its Afghanistan. Afghanistan.
I don't envy your situation, and I hope everyone is happy with it and remains healthy through the decision.
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