Potty Training

Lily has officially passed the 3 years and 3 months mile stone without being potty trained. I won't bore you with the excruciating details of our trials. It is hard to be the mom of a little one who is behind the curve. At every milestone, Lily is always behind her peers. She didn’t sit until well after six months, she didn’t walk until fourteen months, talking didn’t begin until well into her second year. Once she makes it to the milestones, she seems to catch up rather quickly. All the little ones in her playgroup who walked and talked before Lily are all running and playing at the same level with her today. So it would seem that she is not developmentally delayed, at least in my humble mommy opinion, it seems as if she just comes about her development at a different time table than EVERY other child on the planet. Plus she is stubborn.

She has decided not to sit on the potty at all any more. She is done. (She will sometimes sit on the potty for her daddy, but he is never home and she still won't go on the potty even for daddy). I tried coercion, bribes, screaming and yelling, naked all day, inviting over her potty-trained friends for peer pressure, blah, blah, blah. I have successfully potty trained before, even spent several years potty training other people’s kids as a career. I feel that I need a t-shirt that says, “I am not an idiot”. Maybe I am an idiot. Maybe someday I will look back and laugh about what a trial Lily can be. Maybe.

Lily and I have come to an impasse about sitting on the potty/toilet so I have stopped talking about it at all. When she asks to wear her regular underwear, I say ok. When she has an accident she helps me clean it up, but I don’t mention the potty/toilet. Let’s face it she knows, she is being stubborn and I have decided to give it a bit of a rest. I am thinking a month or maybe two. During that time, I am not going to mention the potty to Lily at all. There is a potty in the living room, a potty seat on the toilet, if she wants to use it she can. She pretty much hates her pull-ups. I have decided to make her wear pull-ups when we leave the house and to bed, but otherwise I let her wear her underwear and we just clean up the messes, and messes and messes.

In order that I don’t feel guilty about taking a step back and re-grouping before I try to convince Lily to try to be potty trained again, I have decided to focus on the other aspects of potty training. Like dressing herself. Right now, Lily will change herself, all by herself. She takes off the dirty, underwear or pull-ups and cleans herself with the wippies and then she puts on the new underwear/pull-ups and pants. She does this all on her own. I help her a bit with the hand washing afterwards. I guess my thinking is that when she gets past her stubborn fit about sitting on the potty she will be able to go in and take off her own pants and go to the potty all on her own. I think that this is part of the problem, she doesn’t like me to be so involved in her private potty stuff. I am hoping that when she feels confident in her ability to dress and undress she will feel better about sitting on the potty.

The other issue is the feeling of letting go of the pee or poop while sitting on the potty this freaks her out. She would rather go into when there is something against her skin, instead of just letting it fall into the potty/toilet. The letting go bit is a trial for her. Can’t seem to get it into her head that it is ok. During the naked all day portion, that lasted three weeks, she would scream as if she saw a monster and cry ever time the potty came out and there wasn’t underwear or pull-ups on her. Now she pretty much refuses to be naked, she will go and dress herself. I would have to hide all her clothes and listen to her scream for clothing to try the naked all the time method again. I am not willing to withhold clothing from my baby.

This is where we are on the potty training. We love our Lily. She is so precious, so happy, so sweet. She just doesn’t want to use the potty or toilet and I haven’t found a way to make her. Did I tell you she can count to 50 in English, 10 in Spanish, and 10 in Japanese? I have all the hope in the world that she will catch on to the potty and be fine someday or not. We are in the very largest size in pull-ups, I guess the next step will be depends.

Thursday Thirteen # 2

1. October 4th was the 75th anniversary of the first airplane to fly non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight started here in Misawa, Japan and ended in Wenatchee, Washington, USA. Miss Veedol, the plane, is the symbol of the city of Misawa. The flight took more than 40 hours, glad the flight time has decreased a bit. This region is famous for apples, some say the apple seeds came as a gift from the pilots of the Miss Veedol.


2. For about five minutes, I was so excited to know of the two assignments available. Then I realized I still don't know where I am going. We are getting closer.



3. Lily has discovered a love of painting. She will paint for hours, this is how I am able to watch TV. I sit with her and I pretend to paint, while she paints one page after another. Everyday on our walk we check out the changing colors on the trees, later when we paint, Lily paints the trees the color of the day. The color she chooses to paint her trees is never the actual color of the trees. Yesterday's trees had pink trunks and green leaves.



4. Mandy kicked ass at volleyball last weekend, she is awesome. I can't wait to go see the games again this weekend.



5. I have been watching Weeds, it is the best show I have ever seen, very inappropriate, but extremely funny.



6. Jeff put Mississippi as his first choice and LA as second choice, we will find out by November 15th, where we will be living come March.



7. I love my computer classes, I can't decide if I want to become a Web Page developer or a Computer Forensics expert. I guess that is why you go to college to learn, the more I learn the more I love. Someday I will learn how to put my Java programs on my blog, and then you can play paper, scissors, and stone.



8. I still love Blogger Beta, so lovely. I can't get the spell checker to work, and I have to sign in every time I post a comment on anyone's blog or come to my blog, because the system doesn't seem capable of remembering me, so far that is my only complaint.



9. This week is week four of going to the gym for me, Lily and I walk up there every morning with some friends, they have a playroom it is lovely. Instead of losing weight, I have been steadily gaining weight since re-incorporating the gym back in my life. It isn't muscle, it is ice cream. Time to re-start the eating portion of the plan, yuck!



10. I have a yellow ticket in my mailbox. This means I have a package, I will pick it up today, I think it is my book, Swapping Lives by Jane Green. The book I am supposed to be reading for my book club. I think you should join our book club, there is still time.



11. My friend Angel is selling PartyLite, if you are looking for an easy gift or something nice for yourself, check out her blog. Angel is a real life friend who I have known for years and I can vouch for. You can set up a paypal account and order through her. She gives gifts and discounts too.



12. I am making my favorite for dinner tonight: rosemary, garlic, lemony roasted chicken with red potatoes. I will someday have to post a recipe. I was thinking about trying to post some gluten-free recipes but I never remember to measure. Who would want to read a recipe that goes, a little of this, a lot of that, stir and bake for a while, you know until it is done. I guess I cook through intuition more than through actual science. You would think this means my food is good, not so much, but the chicken it is divine. Even better than the roasted chicken, I did before we went gluten-free. (We try to eat as a family all at the table and therefore I try to cook stuff that we can all eat, even though only Lily is technically gluten-free).



13. I cannot believe that no one clicked on the link and read the Baby Elephant Story, it is the best thing I have ever written. I guess I will have to sit down and try to write something good that is new. Until then you could always read about the cute little baby elephant whose parents try to save him from drowning in the pool. Will the baby survive?

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Choices

Yesterday we traveled to Morioka Zoological Park, about two hours from our house. The trip was lovely, through the rolling hills, farms, and mountains. The zoo was nice as well. Lily was even well behaved the entire day, shocking. It was nice to spend time together. At home we tend to do our own thing, but stuck together for the entire day we interact a bit more. I like my family and the interaction is just what we all needed. The next few months are going to be so busy, and we each have our own things we have going, so once in awhile to be stuck together in a small vehicle for several hours is nice.

I think that we have all been ruined for life for the whole zoo experience. After what we saw in Kenya, it is hard to see elephants in captivity, very hard. To read the story of the baby elephant in Kenya click here.

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Mississippi vs. California is a hard choice. Do we get a choice? We at least get the illusion of a choice, there are two assignments and there are two people, if we each choose the same the choice will not be ours, if we each choose differently then the choice is ours. So which do we choose and does it matter? At first I wanted LA. I lived in California from the age of 12 until the age of 26. The longest I have ever lived anywhere and I love California, I love the culture, the people, it is me. I want to take Jeff, Mandy and Lilyto see the Sierra Nevada Mountain range, Yosemite and all the other lovely places from my childhood. I want to live in a place where we have access to everything that America has to offer, sports, theater, good schools, museums, gluten-free stores and restaraunts, used book stores, thrift shops, and Disneyland. What could be better than LA? A dream come true.

After a little research I am discovering what you all probably know, I could never afford a house in LA, not in an area I would want to live. And how do I know which area is good and which is bad? There are 80 school districts in LA county - not schools, school districts. Can you imagine how much research that is going to be? I started making charts, with school districts, test scores, zip codes, ect and four hours later I had just scratched the surface. There is just so much there, so much.

Gulfport and Biloxi Mississippi were devestated by hurricane Katrina. Living there would give us the opportunity to infuse that area with our money, buying a house, paying taxes, grocery shopping, it would all help the community to rebuild. We would have the opportunity to do volunteer work and really make a difference in our country, something very important to Jeff and I. In Mississippi we would be comfortable financially, we would be able to afford a nice house, and live at a higher standard of living, we would be able to afford a comfortable life and we would be closer to Jeff's family.

I still have a lot to research, but I am pretty sure that my mind is made up. Maybe tomorrow I will have another thought. Not that what I think matters at all, so why worry. I really should just do my homework and clean the closets. Concentrate on the things I can control and let the other things work themselves out. Ya, right!

The Assignments

There are two assignments available:

• Los Angeles, California
• Biloxi, Mississippi

We will find out which we get in Novemeber. What a contrast.

my first homework assignment in html class

Lemon Gelato

The brisk, refreshing taste of lemon is always welcome after a pasta meal. In this vaelvety ice cream, crème fraîche contributes richenss and a flavor reminischent of cheesecake. Look for crème fraîche in good cheese shops and specialty-food stores. Serves the gelato with berries.

Prep time: 20 minutes, plus 8 hours for chilling

Ingredients

• 1 cup half-and-half
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 3 lemons
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 6 egg yolks
• 1 cup crème fraîche or heavy cream

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1. In a nonaluminum sausepan, combine the half-and-half and cream. Using a vegetable peeler, remove the zest of 1 lemon in long strips. Add to the cream mixture. Place over medium heat and bring just to a simmer.


2. Meanwhile, grate the zest from the remaining 2 lemons. In a food processor, combine the sugar and grated lemon zest and process until well mixed. In a bowl, combine the egg yolks and lemon sugar. Whisk until pale and smooth. Slowly whisk in the hot cream, then return the mixture to the saucepan and place over medium-low heat. Cook, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until the mixture visibly thickens and coats the spoon, about 4 minutes. do not allow it to boil or it will curdle.


3. Remove from the heat and stir for 1 minute. Let cool for 15 minutes, then whisk in the crème fraîche or cream. Cover and chill thouroughly,about 8 hours.


4. Strain the mixture into an ice-cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer's directions.


5. To serve, scoop the gelato into serving dishes.

NUTRITIONAL ANAALYSIS PER SERVING: Calories 253, Protein 3 g, Carbohydrates 17 g, Total Fat 20, Saturated Fat 11g, Cholesterol 158 mg, Sodium 33mg, Dietary Fiber 0.

Thursday Thirteen # 1

1. We are planning on going to the Morioka Zoo this Monday with some friends. We haven't had the chance to go on any trips with our friends in over a year. This may be our last time before we leave. I have never been to the Zoo, it is a couple of hours away. It should be fun. Turns out that Monday is Columbus day and a Japanese holiday all at the same time so we are all off, which never happens.


2. Mandy's school is having homecomming week. She asked me to help her with her hair on Wacky Tacky day. The only time she has asked me to help with her hair since she was about five.


3. Mandy has a volleyball game tonight, she has been working hard this season and is a part time setter. The covetted position on the team.


4. I just signed up for the scholarship for two more courses, my last two courses here in Misawa. The new classes start Oct. 30, the ones I am taking now end Dec. 4. That means the month of Novemeber I will not remember. Hopefully my new classes are easy. The ones I am taking now are ok. I am currently trying to figure out what a Java Array is?
   
5. Lily and I are having a hard time getting along. I think I broke her. I feel like every decision I make is wrong, wrong, wrong. I tried to potty train her again and she refused. I presured her and now she just refuses to pee at all ever. My choices are a girl who wears regular underwear and never pees or a girl who wears pull ups and never sits on the potty. At least she gives me choices.


6. Mandy and I went out to dinner last weekend, just the two of us. We discovered that we miss each other. We used to be so close. Lately (the last 6 years) not so much. We both miss our relationship, but this entire week, we both tried but it is so hard. So hard to be close to each other. I think the problem is that we are both wanting to be the alpha female and it isn't working. So more trying.


7. Did you know that in some people allergies cause a the bodies chemical makeup to change and in some people this causes one to have anxiety and depression? I found this out the hard way, I still haven't called the doctor to get my allergy prescription updated. Now it isn't just allergies it is allergies plus crazy. Joy.


8. Jeff and I went on a date last weekend. We saw Miami Vice the movie. It was horrid. The worst movie I have ever seen. Jeff said it was just like the TV show. But, I loved the TV show. Either my tastes have changed or the movie was nothing like the show. I bought the first season of Miami Vice the TV show for Jeff about a year ago. Someday I am going to sit down and watch it to see if my tastes have changed or not. I really hated that movie.


9. Jeff has been doing two jobs for the last several weeks. Not like twice the work load in the normal hours, but 16 hour days. It is driving me nuts. This makes me feel bad. That he is so supportive all the time and when he can't be supportive I lose it. On the other hand, I can only handle what I can handle.


10. I am seriously considering getting a job at our next base. I am just not sure that I am cut out for the stay at home mommy bit. Logically it is the best for Lily and her stupid food allergies. Also she is not on course with other kids her age. She is always about six months behind what she should be developmentally. Having one on one with me helps her get to the next step with love and kindness instead of being labeled a problem child. I am afraid that in a stressful situation Lily would be a frustration to a care provider and not be liked. Maybe I am projecting my frustration. I see the local care providers and they are not the type of people I would feel comfortable caring for Lily. Still it would be nice to get a break sometimes.


11. We should be finding out what assignments are available in the next few days. The list is supposed to come out on Monday but that is Columbus Day. I am not sure if that means the list will come out Friday or Tuesday. Since we are a day ahead here in Japan, it will most likely be Wednesday before we see the list. Still that is less than a week. A list of the possibilities.


12. There is a Defense Attache position available in Norway. Jeff has previously applied for two or three of these positions and been denied. We are getting excited about going to the States, but I believe he is going to apply for this Norway position anyways, just to see. We wont get our hopes up or anything, but no sense not trying.


13. My blogging friend Jennifer writes a Thursday Thirteen every week. Today is Friday, but still Thursday in the States, anyways I am a copy cat. Great idea and I haven't been blogging in awhile I thought a good list would help.

Contrary Personality Disorder

I do not like to be told what to do. Perhaps that sound a little juvenile and perhaps it is, still this is who I am.

Example 1: As a child my parents would come into my room at night and tuck me in. Kiss me good night, say I love you and turn out the light. I was so completely frustrated by this, every night. I felt that forcing one into a ritual of saying I love you and kissing and hugging is horrible. I felt that if you say I love you when you are told to say I love you it doesn’t really mean I love you. It is just a silly ritual.

Example 2: Again as a child. Every night at dinner we were required to say thank you to my mom and tell her how much we enjoyed our meal. Again I felt that being forced to say thank you made the thank you insincere and therefore false.

Example 3: I have been trying to convince my family that we should eat dinner at the dinning room table. Instead we eat dinner on the couch watching TV. For years I have been trying. Whenever I serve dinner at the table I get so much rebellion from Jeff and Mandy that I have given up the fight. Last week someone told Jeff it was eat dinner with your family day, so he suggested we eat at the table, because someone else told him to do it. Jeff and Mandy were so excited to participate in the day thing. Me, not so much. I don’t want some day to tell me when and where to eat my dinner. Even though technically I want the family to eat dinner at the table I don’t want them to do it because of some day, I want them to do eat at the table when I suggested we eat at the table.

I have always been this way. I don’t like to do what I am told I am supposed to do. It makes me itchy and I just want to find a compelling reason not to do all the supposed tos. I have always been this way and always will be. I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with Jeff, where I tell him, I really wanted to do X but now I cannot because you told me to do X. Sorry.

When Mandy was born, she did not have this contrary personality disorder. Mandy likes to give presents on Christmas, she loves the rituals of good night kisses, of saying thank you Mommy dinner is delicious. Mandy thrives with boundaries and supposed tos. There are a vast array of other personality traits which Mandy possesses which are quite similar to mine but not this one. I thought for the longest time that the reason I am so contrary is due to the icky bits of my childhood, before I was removed from my biological family and adopted. I thought I was broken, or as Jeff says, that I just had “Issues”. I bought into the theory that our personality and choices are a result of how we are raised and how our parents treat us.

And then there was Lily. Sweet little Miss Lily has my Contrary Personality Disorder. She doesn’t like to do anything anyone tells her to do, ever. She is an extremely sweet, kind, happy person – but don’t tell her to do something or she will oppose you with the force of a thousand suns, doesn’t matter if it is something she wants to do, she would rather die a thousand deaths than do the supposed tos. Yeah Lily!

For this reason and others since Lily has come into our lives I have changed my perception of the amount of influence parenting has on a child’s personality. I used to think that a person was a product of their environment, now I am not sure how much of an influence I believe environment has. It has become apparent to me that biology or DNA is also very much responsible for our personality. But, the thing I think makes us who we are most is choice. I may have a DNA based urge to rebel but I can choose my behavior. I may have personality traits which are the result of my childhood but I have the capacity to choose my behavior. Anyways, it is freeing to feel that I am not broken, and freeing in raising Lily & Mandy to realize that every little thing I do and say isn’t going to determine who they will eventually become.

Australia

Technically speaking we have decided not to take any more vacations because we are moving in six months. Don't know where we are moving, but still moving is expensive. We are going to have to buy a new couch, a new car, buy a house etc. We are expecting that moving will cost us a lot of money. The military pays to move our stuff and our airfare etc, still it will cost us quite a bit of out of our own pocket money. The smart prudent thing to do is expect that we will need money and therefore save some money in advance so as not to get into any trouble. Jeff is the one in our family who is good with money. He is very prudent.

Yet, Jeff is the one who brought home a brochure from our travel agent about a trip to Australia over Thanksgiving. Doesn't that sound lovely? It is a trip to Cairns, five nights. Surfing and snorkeling over Thanksgiving instead of shoveling snow. The trip is very expensive. I want to go. Now Jeff is not so sure.

I am not great with money. I tend to manage money with my heart. I decide if I should buy an item based on how much I want it instead of based on how much I can afford the item. I like to have nice things because I am a good person and deserve nice things. I am not extravagant but I have a hard time making money decisions based on the how that purchase will effect my financial well being instead of how much I want to go to Australia.

I does turn out that traveling all the way from America to Australia is actually cheaper than going from middle of no where Misawa, Japan to Australia, much cheaper. I do believe that one last trip would be lovely. We can add another continent to our list of accomplishments.

What about you, how do you make your big purchase decisions? A new car? A new computer? Is it based on how much you desire the item or how much you can afford to buy the item? You should have seen my debt when I got married, it was ugly. Jeff doesn't believe in debt, we even pay for our college as we go or we don’t go, imagine that.

Blogger Beta

I converted my blog from blogger to blogger beta. It is so lovely I could cry. I am so busy with homework today I wont have time to add a bit of my personal touch until later. Still, I took the time to go through each and every post and add labels, that was fun. If you have blogger I think you should change to blogger beta! You will be so happy! Have a great weekend.

Headache

I have had a massive headache for about two weeks now. Why, because I ran out of allergy medication. I went to the pharmacy to get a refill and they informed me that while I still had about five refills left on my prescription their policy is that I have to have the prescription updated yearly. Since this prescription was written over a year ago, it is now expired. This means a trip to the doctor. I have been getting notices that I am overdue for a pap smear and that I am in need of a mammogram. I am sure if I ask for more drugs they are going to demand that I take care of the other stuff. And I don't want to. I hate going to the doctor.

I was so good while I was pregnant. I went to all the appointments. I got there early and waited until sometimes more than an hour after the scheduled appointment. I peed in cups, got stuck with needles, filled my bladder full of 1,000 ounces of liquid and held it for hours while I waited patiently 20, 30, 40 minutes past my appointment time. Went in and was chastised for not having a full enough bladder. The extreme discomfort not taken into consideration or the fact that the ultrasound was completed, information was obtained. I personally think this is just a big joke that men play on women that there really is no physical reason a pregnant woman has to have a full bladder to see inside the womb. A) They always tell me mine isn't full enough and B) they are always able to do the test even though they just said it wasn't full. If it isn't full enough why can you see the baby? Either you can see it and it is full enough or you can't see it and it isn't full enough. I hate going to the doctor.

Every day I read the paper, I watch the news, I read magazines; you know what they all tell me? I have to be my own health care advocate. I have to ensure that my doctor is diagnosing me correctly; that I am taking the right medication, to be careful or the doctor will get me. If I think about it, I have never been diagnosed by a doctor. I have never gone in and said, I don't feel right and been given a reason for my illness and a remedy. I have gone to the doctor not knowing what was wrong with me, but in those instances, I have always come away with a misdiagnosis. When the treatment doesn't work, I have to do some research, figure out what is wrong with me, and return to the doctor. When I go to the doctor knowing what is wrong with me, I have to arrive early, wait until late, get naked, sit in the room naked for hours, finally the doctor arrives and I have about four minutes to convince him of what I have and what I need to fix it. I have to make sure I use the correct medical terminology too because otherwise they will misdiagnose me again and I will have to rinse and repeat the process until I can get a doctor who will listen to me. Why can't I just tell the pharmacist what I need or send an email? I hate going to the doctor.

I feel that we are all being treated so poorly but that doctors only police themselves so they will never improve. They only way to fix it is if we all band together and refuse to go to the doctor. Sure, a few of us will have headaches and a few of us will die, but we will make the world a better place for our children. A world where they can go to the doctor and they doctor sees them at the appointed time. A world where they are treated with dignity and respect. A world where the doctor figures out what is wrong with you and gives you a treatment or your visit is free and he will come out to your house and keep trying until he gets it right. Are you with me? Are you ready to boycott western medicine?

My dear and lovely blogging buddy Laura, her mom passed away when Laura was very young. Her mom when diagnosed with a terminal illness decided instead of going to the doctor she would let Jesus heal her. Laura grew up without her mom. Maybe the doctors could have saved her. I would walk through fire for my girls. I don't want them to grow up without a mom. Not that allergies will kill me, but the whole Pap smear thing. I tell you I would much rather walk through fire than go to the doctor. Nevertheless, go I must, go I shall. I hate going to the doctor.

Keys

Yesterday I wrote a post about how much Lily loves to run and how I fear that in the not to distant future I will no longer be able to keep up with her. After writing that post Lily and I took a shower and got ready to go to gymnastics. As we were headed out the door I discovered that I could not find the keys. We searched high and low until I remembered that I had left the keys in the car, all locked up and secure. As I glanced at the clock I discovered that we had five minutes until the bus would come. The bus stop is about a block from my house. I thought surly super speedy Lily could make it a block in five minutes.

As I encouraged her to run she said, I'm sorry Mommy I can't run, I'm too big. Whatever that means. We did make it to the bus on time only because the bus was running 7 minutes behind schedule. We even made it to gymnastics on time only because gymnastics was running late as well.

I tried to leave gymnastics a couple of minutes early so we could make it on the bus going home. However, Lily was very upset with me for this. She was actually quite a bit more than merely upset. So we missed the bus going home and had to wait an hour. There I was on the busiest street in Misawa with a very upset (screaming her head off - throwing herself on the ground) daughter. We were 3 miles from home and I couldn't get her to walk two steps let alone 3 miles. So I took her to Burger King. We had fries and milk. The Burger King fries are coated in flour and make her a little sick. I felt I was between a rock and a hard place and chose the hard place. After eating and drinking Lily's mood improved. We walked to the bus stop and played and giggles for 45 minutes until the bus finally came and got us.

I didn't really get all that stressed out during the whole escapade. A run of bad luck. I think the exercise is helping me with my nerves. Or I have quietly accepted that which I cannot change. Today however, I am so stressed out I can hardly function due to some difficult choices I have to make. One step in front of the other.

The short version is: my school is done with 5 terms per year instead of two. So a full time college student takes 2 classes every term. The terms are 12 weeks long and have a week long break somewhere in the middle. So you see that 12 times 5 is 60 plus 5 extra week long breaks gives one 65 weeks. Therefore the terms overlap. I am currently taking two classes. They are going pretty well. I need to take the next consecutive course for each of these classes, but if I take the next ones it will be overlapping with this term by four weeks. For four weeks I would be taking four classes. And the new 2 classes would be made even more difficult because I wouldn't have finished the pre-requisites completely at the onset. My other choice would be to wait until term 4 which starts in May or June. We will be moving during term 3. I am thinking that with all that time in between I may loose quite a bit of the knowledge. Another rock and a hard place. I think I am going to go for it. I tend to get high A's in these courses so a little extra difficulty will not kill me. But, four classes with the added difficulty might make me crazy. But only for four weeks. Ok that wasn't short.

We are getting very excited about moving back to America. Can't wait to buy our first home. It is all we talk about. The list of the choices we will have comes out Oct 10th. Only a couple of weeks and our choices will be narrowed.

I feel old

Your only as old as you feel and I feel old. Last week Lily and I expanded our daily schedule to include walking about a 1/2 mile to the gym and back. This is in addition to the walking to the playground and walking the dog. Therefore Lily has been walking a lot more than usual. When I say walking I really mean running. Jeff and Mandy have been very busy in the evenings and we find ourselves on our own a lot. I also have a ton of school work and find myself on the computer a lot. So Lily is not really getting as much attention from any of us as she is used to getting. Spending time together outside is helping us get through this difficult time. Lily and I have a great time talking, counting, singing, laughing and afterwards Lily eats better, sleeps better and plays quietly on her own better. All good things, excpet...

It seems that all this running, Lily doesn't particularly like to walk, she likes to run full tilt. All this running is causing Lily's endurance level to increase exponentially while mine is only increasing incrementally. Sunday for example we took the dog for a walk and Lily ran full speed for an entire mile. Lily's full speed with her tiny little legs is only a slow jog for me, but a slow jog for a mile is pushing up to the limits of my abilities. I fear that she will surpass me in the very near future. Therefore a little part of me thinks I should strap her into the stroller instead of letter her run. Wouldn't that be mean? It just doesn't seem fair that she is so strong so young. I think she gets it from her dad.

We did take her to the doctor. She is growing well. So her food allergies are not compromising her ability to grow, she is 75 percentile for height and weight. Which is delightful because she was under the 50th percentile before we found out her allergies and now she is more toward where I think she should be. While we didn't receive any additional council or magic cure for her ailments I was glad to have a professional tell me she is healthy. I worry, even if it is obvious from looking at her that she is fine, I still worry. I guess the wish for a doctor to be able to wave a magic wand and make her better is silly, but I couldn't help but feel a little let down that she isn't fixed. Because of all her vigor and good health I sometimes think that maybe she isn't allergic to anything, maybe she is better, maybe we were wrong. I guess it is wishful thinking or my brain playing tricks on me.