Taking a four year old to the dentist

Lily and Mandy have dental appointments this morning. Lily woke up, immediately remembered that she was mad at me last night when she went to bed and started crying again. She hadn't even gotten out of bed and she was already crying again. I don't think our appointment is going to go well.

I tried cuddling her, while watching cartoons. I tried breakfast. She was still crying about how I sent her to bed last night before she had a chance to put her babies to sleep. It was well past her bedtime because we had to pick up Mandy from school after 9PM due to an away volleyball game. Lily had missed her nap because I had to take Mandy to school, to get on the bus for the away volleyball game.

Usually we spend ages doing our going to bed stuff. Last night there was too much drama. After reading books, drinking milk, going potty, washing hands, brushing teeth, I was done with it all and I made Lily go to bed without allowing her to put all of her ten thousand and one babies to bed first. So, when she woke up this morning, she usually goes and says good morning to her babies, and this morning they were not all tucked in and poor Lily remembered she is very mad at me. Last night she fell asleep after about 30 seconds of crying. I was patting myself on the back for making the right decision, she was obviously very tired. But, today, I am regretting it a bit.

So I left her crying about her babies after an hour of trying to reason with her, I went and took a loooooong shower and did my hair and makeup. At least if I am going to be absolutely humiliated at the dentist today I will look respectable.

How I lost my BFF

In the early 1980's my family moved from Mays Pond in Bothell, Washington to Elk Grove, California. It was mid January and on myu first day of school I remember walking around with a map trying to find my classes and having a group of kids point to my lazy eye and chase me around saying, look she is stoned, look at her eyes this girl is stoned. Fun.

Later that day I met Danel in my science class. We sat next to each other. She was nice. Turns out we had a lot in common, like both of us were taken from our bio moms at the age of five and both of us were placed in foster care. We were both the same height and weight too. We became best friends and remained so for over 20 years.

Taking Different Paths

In our early 20's both Danel and I found ourselves pregnant. She had been dating a boy for more than two years. They decided to keep the baby and get married.On the way to the chapel he changed his mind. She was three months preganant and chose to go to San Francisco to get an abortion. In those days San Francisco was the closest location that was willing to perform an abortion after 12 weeks. She had to actually go into labor and give birth to the dead baby. It was very hard on her and effected her for the rest of the time I knew her. After that she joined the Air Force and moved away. We kept in touch via letters and phone calls, this was before email. I didn't keep a journal but I wrote long letters to Danel telling her everything. She was my sounding board for every decision and I was hers. Even though we lived far apart we were incredible close.

I subsequently got pregnant and chose to keep the baby. This decision took me down a very different path than Danel. Like, I got fat and really poor. She remained slender and beautiful, she was able to continue on in her Air Force career, she dated really great guys-while I stayed home with a baby. I think in hind sight my tragic circumstances helped her to feel better about her decision. But, I was happy with the choices that I made, and she was happy with the choices she made.

Jeff

Over the years, we remained close, especially so after email, we emailed each other several times per day. One day she sent me an email, saying that she had this male friend and he was really nice and really great but just not her type. She knew that I hadn't dated anyone in more than five years and so she recommended that the two of us hook up. Of course he lived in Italy, where she was living, both of them being in the Air Force. So we took her advice and started an email conversation. One thing led to another and we got married and I moved to Italy. Which I thought was the greatest thing ever because not only did I marry Jeff, I was going to be living near Danel.

But, Danel refused to have any contact with me. She moved away and changed her email and we no longer have any contact. I would occasionally see her while we were both living in Italy, but she would be in a hurry and blow me off. I still miss her so much. I wonder if it is the fact that I got my happily ever after and she didn't. I wonder if the fact that I chose to keep the baby and eventually after 10 years the consequences of that chose started to subside? Or maybe I did something to make her mad? She never spoke to Jeff again either. It still makes me mad/sad/frustrated. I don't even know where she lives. I guess that is what she wants, but it sucks just the same. I was dumped by my best friend after 20 years.

comment verification codes

I am a fairly good typist. I was even a fairly good secretary in a past life. I took a year long typing class in high school. Yet, I cannot for the life of me do the comment verification codes. It always takes me 3, 4, 5 times to get it right. Drives me batty.

Are you prepared to file an insurance claim?

I don't really know all that much about insurance. Except how to pay the bill. I have never in my life had to file an insurance claim. We pay out more per month in insurance than we do to the bank for our house. Sucks. Watching all the coverage of the anniversary of Katrina here in the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, I learned a couple things about insurance that I thought I would share with you.

The Big Mistake

When you sign up for your insurance policy, for home owners or renters. The insurance company will ask you to estimate the value of your belongings. How much would is cost to replace your belongings? You estimate and the rate you pay is based on this estimation. I was under the impression that if all my stuff is destroyed, this is the amount my insurance company would give to me and I would go replace my things at my discretion. Not the case, according to the people here who are still battling the insurance companies for their money.

You Need Proof

If your things are destroyed that amount that you estimated is the very most your insurance company will give you for the replacement of your belongings. The insurance company will require you to provide for them some sort of proof of the things you owned and proof of the value of those items. If you don't have proof, you don't get any money. If you don't have proof you might as well stop paying for your insurance because they aren't going to get any money from them.

Making A List

Create a list of all your belongings. Make sure you have a picture of each item on the list, not a separate picture of each item you can do a lot of items in each picture. Make sure you include: brand name, model number, the year you bought it, the price you paid, etc. Keep a file that has this list along with a picture of each item along with a scanned copy of the receipt. Now you have a digital record of all your stuff. Anything not on this list will not be replaced. Add up the value on this list, that is all the money you will get, so don't pay for 100 thousand dollars worth of insurance for your belongings when your list only ads up to 10 thousand like mine.

Secure Your List

Now if your house is destroyed by fire, flood, or meteor; you have to make sure your list is somewhere safe that will not be destroyed as well. Some suggestions are: a memory stick on your key chain with an encrypted password, online storage-password protected, your grandma's attic. Having the info on your computer is not going to be helpful if your home is destroyed.

Have you any insurance company experience? I believe that better regulation of the insurance industry is the single most important factor in this upcoming election. The health insurance, home owners insurance, auto insurance, etc. If you take a look at the Forbes list of most profitable companies these all top the lists, they are raping us and then not doing the job they are designed to do. People who get sick, people who lose their homes, they are not being helped. They have so much money and so much power that their is no regulation. The majority of the people harmed the most are the poor. It is shameful. I think it is time for an alternative, in the meantime make a list of all your stuff. You would think if they wanted verification of what you owned they would seek that verification before they entered into a contract with you to insure you for said amount, before they take your money which seems to me to be a contract of good faith that they will insure you for the replacement value of your belongings. Of course as you can see I am not a lawyer and have absolutely no knowledge of how insurance works.

Playground Justice

The other day at the playground, Lily was playing with a little girl who looked to be about a year older than Lily, that would make her around five. Lily and the little girl were the only kids at the playground and they were laughing and having a great time. The two girls decided to play hide-n-seek.

At first they decided to count to 20. The other little girl changed her mind and wanted to count to 100. I am sure that it was her idea and not Lily.(counting is one of Lily's favorite things). Instead of hiding Lily was listening to her count. Every time this girl missed a number Lily would point it out to her. They would both laugh and the counting would continue. When the girl was supposed to say 80, she said 90 instead. Lily corrected her. The little girl's dad called the little girl over to him.

The dad then told her to stop counting to 100. It takes too long. To count to 20 instead. That counting to 100 takes too long. The little girl walked back over to Lily, the dad is in the background continuing to tell her to only count to 20. Loudly he is telling her this. The girls starts counting again at 1, Lily tells her, no you were at 80, say 80. The dad is shouting, no count to 20. The girl says 80. The dad says, if you count to 100 again we are going home. It takes too long.

The girl quit counting and climbed to the top of the slide. Lily continued to try to coerce her to say 80. Another child arrived at the playground and they got to playing with him and all counting ceased. We stayed there for at least another hour. The little girl and her father and mother were still there when we left. The father continued to poke his nose into the children's games, giving his daughter directions of which slide to play on, who to talk to, etc. When he wasn't directing her play, he was being very arrogant and condescending toward his wife. Saying all kinds of annoying things. I had meant to remember the words exactly but, I forgot them. Sorry.

When Mandy was little I remember stepping into the children's games and conversations. I remember being a referee of fairness within their play. For the most part, if no one is bleeding I let the kids work it out now. I am not sure if my change in attitude comes from wisdom. The knowledge that my daughter's have to learn how to stand up for themselves. That they will learn more from an unpleasant day at the playground with a bunch of brats than they will if I force all the kids to be nice to them. Or maybe I am just old and tired and if it doesn't kill her it will make her stronger. Or maybe I react differently because Lily is a strong willed won't take shit from anyone kind of girl, and Mandy is sweet and quiet.

I thought this dad at the playground was such an ass. Telling the kids how to play hide-n-seek. How is it his business what they count to, was anyone bleeding? But, I know that twelve years ago when Mandy was on the playground I was just as obnoxious.

What about you. Do you feel it is important to step in when you see the children playing in an unfair way. Not that this counting thing was unfair. But, if the kids are not sharing, do you tell them to share, or let them work it out on their own? If one of the kids is really bossy, do you step in and tell them to back off and help the quiet ones get a word in? Is it the parents responsibility to ensure that everyone is having fun and to impose a grown up standard of fair play into the children's games?

Thursday Thirteen # 9

Thirteen things that make me happy.

1. The sound of my kids laughing.


2. The sound of my husband laughing.


3. Hearing one of my favorite songs from childhood come on the radio unexpectedly.
   
4. Desserts with chocolate.


5. Soup on a cold day.


6. A finished project, like finally being done with decorating my new living room.


7. Sunshine. I love the feel of sun on my face.


8. Conversations with girl friends.


9. Swimming, I just love the way it feels to submerge myself completely under the cool water, holding my breath and straining to swim fast and far. The world is mutted, the sun is bright while I am cool. It is one of the best feelings.


10. Lazy days with a new book.


11. The first day of a new class. I am a returning college student currently taking an intermediate web design course CMST 386 for those of you familar with UMUC.


12. The season premiere of a favorite show, like Survivor.


13. That moment in the afternoon when Lily is down for a nap, just before Mandy comes home from school, with Jeff at work, that moment in the day that is all mine, when I play Spades at zone.com and watch General Hospital.

Happy TT. To find more lovely lists of Thursday Thirteens visit:
The Thursday Thirteen website
Technorati Thursday Thirteen tag.

Where the Magic Happens.

Lorelei and Angel both posted pictures of where they blog. Here is mine.

My desktop computer's ethernet plug got damaged in the move and she is difficult to get connected to the Internet. Plus my monitor takes up my entire desk, along with a large pile of various things. This is where I blog, do homework, and play Internet Spades.

Jeff and I have become addicted to LOWES. We have been going everyday and offering them our money. I have been redecorating my living room and I am getting ready to paint the outside of the house. Just hoping for a couple days of no rain. One time I tried to wash and wax my car and it started pouring just as I was spreading the wax on the car. Of course the rain stopped as soon as I got back into the house and changed into dry clothes. It doesn't rain here all the time, just whenever I go outside to do a project. Perhaps I will watch the weather report.

Anger Management

To the gentleman who sat in front of me at the high school volleyball game last night.

If watching your daughter lose a volleyball game upsets you to the point that your face turns red and smoke starts coming out of your ears.

Instead of yelling at the ref, and the coach, and the team...

Instead of yelling,

Becky, Becky. Relax. Focus. Take your time.

while the ball is in play. Causing Becky to look at you instead of the ball.

Might I suggest anger management classes. Because, you are not helping and you are going to have a heart attack.

Health

I have decided t re-start the couch potato to 10K in 20 weeks plan this week. If you are unfamiliar with the plan you can read all about it here. This week the goal is to walk for 30 minutes, three times. Here it is Wednesday, I need to get a move on.

My long term goal is to run in a 10K. My short term goal is to get out there and walk three days this week for at least 30 minutes.

What about you? Do you have any long and/or short term fitness/better health goals you would like to share?

Recent Photos

Lily hard at work.


Aren't we cute?

Mandy and the volleyball team at the athlete's introduction ceremony.

In the huddle.

This is the outfit Jeff chose to wear to not only drive Mandy to work, but to go into the grocery store (where she works) and buy milk. She was a tad upset. Notice the hiking boots without socks. I thought it was so funny I took these photos.

8 things

I have been tagged for this meme twice now, first by Kimberly and yesterday by Natalie from Gluten Free Mommy, who has a lovely recipe for cornmeal cranberry orange cookies up. Which sounds really good. Reducing or eliminating wheat may be something that you are interested in even without having a food allergy. Sorry it has taken me so long to put this list together Kim.

Eight random facts about me.

1. Chocolate is the only sweet I enjoy.



2. I played the flute in elementary and junior high school.



3. During the 5th grade physical fitness test at Silver Lake Elementary School,
   I was the fasted kid in the school, except for Phil Bartlow, made me so mad.



4. I love reading kid books with my kids, I make all the crazy voices and dramatic hand gestures, so fun.



5. I never know: where my keys are, where my purse is, where the phone is, etc.
   Drives Jeff crazy. They are around here somewhere.



6. I cannot listen and do at the same time. Can't listen to the radio while Blogging or driving. Can't listen to someone speaking and write at the same time. It is one or the other. I can tune things out and concentrate, but when I tune them out, they are completely tuned out.



7. Water makes me happy. I love to look at water: lakes, oceans, streams, a puddle. I love the sound of water. I love swimming, showering, bathing. I just need to remember to drink it a little more often.



8. Tonight we are having company for dinner. Have to go clean and cook. But, first Lily wants me to read a book or two.

Are you happy?

I finally finished reading Flirting with Forty, one of our BookWorms R Us books, the discussion of this book will be hosted by the lovely Kimberly, thanks Kim. I wanted to jot down a few of my thoughts now before I forgot them all. I was coerced into reading this book before reading the book I voted to read for September by both Kimberly and Angel, who promised me it would be a steamy romance. While there was a romance and there was some lovin' it was not in my opinion a romance novel and sadly there was no gratuitous sex.

I did not care for the main character Jackie at all, she drove me crazy and I just wanted to shake her. This did not keep me from reading the book or enjoying the story throughly. Surprisingly. It was a great story, full of suspense, a real page turner. I always enjoy a book that keeps me interested, keeps me guessing. Just one more chapter I have to know what is going to happen. That was there in Flirting with Forty.

There was more, however, than a compelling plot and a mildly steamy romance. There were some deep and provocative questions that our Jackie pondered and I pondered right along with her. The main pondering was about happiness. Are you happy? Do you smile, laugh, enjoy your life? Is that responsible, to be happy? Is it selfish? What kinds of sacrifices are you willing to make to be happy? Because let's face it, if you are a mom or a caregiver of any kind, putting yourself first has the consequence of putting someone else second. Can you do that? Are you willing to do that? Where is the balance? Where do you draw the line?

We all say that we need to take care of ourselves. But, it is hard, there is a consequence for always putting ourselves second, but there is also a consequence for putting our kids second.

I did a great deal of thought this subject throughout the book. I really enjoyed Flirting with Forty and I am looking forward to the discussion. Next up is Between, Georgia.

Are you happy?